Solving social anxiety once and for all?

[Estate]

Hey guys,
This is going in Off-Topic since it's not directly Pickup related but has relevance so I'm hoping it's not lost in here

So the reason I ever started getting into pickup and reading PUA material even years ago is because quite simply... I was never the most outgoing person.
As a kid, I hated school but was always a good student. I just figured I'd keep my head down, not fraw attention to myself, get the work done and I'd be out of there soon enough.. so that's just one example.

I'm not very anti-social. If someone approaches me and starts a conversation I am back in my comfort zone and can chat for hours once there is a commonality, but the thought of walking over to someone and initiating a conversation would just cause me so much stress, I would just recoil and keep to myself, my safe zone I guess.
Even if a girl approached me at a bar, I was ok, I wouldn't freak out, but I couldn't bring myself to approach them.

So I made a lot of strides... I've come on leaps and bounds but I'm finding it's very much restricted to comfort zones... If I have managed to get comfortable speaking and talking and approaching people in a certain circumstance or venue I am fine, but put me in a new venue and I feel out of my comfort zone and back to my old self.

Tonight I went to a work related event but knew nobody. There was some guest speakers and an QA session after. After I left I started realizing I should have gone and introduced myself to network a little, also that I had some questions I should have asked at the QA but didn't as it meant getting up infront of a room of people I'd never met and asking... I was like being in school again and afraid the cool kids would poke fun or something. I recognised I was becoming nervous and choosing to sit silent.

So anyway... where is this going.

I have decided to deal with this once and for all.

I need to fix this! I know a by product of fixing this would help me approach women too but that's not the only reason, it's for work, life, making friends, everything.
How do I get over this? Has anyone dealt with and succeeded in overcoming it?
Are there books or other resources? Are there courses? Are there people I can go to, to help deal with it and rid myself of this problem once and for all?

I feel I just need to solve it. Just take the steps needed to fix it.
I have looked online at things like http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ but there is no real advice on there. It is just a bunch of people all miserable and moaning about how aweful their lives are. I've read through the forums and there is not one person who said "Hey, I solved my problem and here is what it took...."... it's more like a forum for moaning but never taking action, it actually makes me feel worse to read it.

So guys, please... I really feel i want to just go take action and do it now. Can anyone offer me advice where to look?

 

[Altimeter]

Okay, your main problem isn't comfort more correctly energy. The energy you give others really. If you do not like the people around you and cannot connect with them in the same level, the interaction isn't going to move any further. Honestly you can be a very quiet yet intriguing person without even saying a word. With the energy you give out, it might be something like a quiet yet strong person. Perhaps, there's a reason for your quietness. Intrigue people with that by not dropping your mask so early on.

Be cool, be comfortable try to approach women on the streets while not overwhelming them or acting like a creepy pickup artist and tell a girl if you're interested in her.

Things you should lookout for...

1-Touch the girl as you speak (feel her, shake her hand, touch her arms, shoulder whatever)
2-Make connection, bond with the girl
3-Make an impact with your stand, use your quietness as a strength and be confident quiet one.
(the one that is not forced to be quiet but choses to be so, He's strong he makes the decisions in his life)
4-Be decisive, always be the one making the decisions. Never let the woman decide for you (A man makes decisions, not women)
(Say you invite a girl out, throw it out casual manner that it comes off like you just rolled some dice)

You can use your quietness to your advantage and be like the movie characters girls chase, such as Jon Hamm (in Mad Men), George Clooney, Morgan Freeman etc.

Here's a good video I've found here, thanks to Tyme2K

Morgan Freeman's technique to get women, sound familiar?
by Tyme2k » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:07 am

Thought the guys here would like this video of Morgan Freeman telling us how to get women. It's great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ojY6ZvciXg

Read Chase's book on How to get women to Chase you
and next time leave your question in the General board as this is not Off Topic.
Hope it helps.

 

[Estate]

Hey man,
Thanks for the advice.

I think I need to clarify this a little though. I put it here because its something I struggle with generally. See the meeting I wrote about last night. Fixing this issue is something I need to do to improve my life in general, getting better at approaching girls is just a by-product of that.

The steps you gave are ALL spot on though. I do all those things when in an interaction. I have no fear. Last weekend after hanging out with a girl for an hour I just leaned in and kissed her. No fear.
If I am already in an interaction with a girl, I am gold thanks to this website. She is talking to me, she likes me, I have no need to stress.
But initiating still stresses me out. I know.... seems backwards right?

But this is something hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it.
If you walked up to me on the street and started a friendly conversation, I could talk to you for hours.
But in social situations where I need to be the one to initiate, I often freeze.

I have desensitized myself to certain environments over the years but put me somewhere new and the feeling of stress overwhelms me.

I just need to get this fixed. I don't know if there are books or things to read, or people I can go see but I am determined to get this handled... it's just that all the resources on it are so depressing, they offer not help or fixes, just BS and telling you to accept this is your lot... I don't accept that, I just want to handle it once and for all.