So a girl I was chatting with recently was talking about an recent issue that she had with a bully at work, who ended up getting fired. A few others were also around the table I was at. I could sense the others were thinking "ah Jesus, would she stop going on and on about it". I actually didn't really mind, apart from the fact that it doesn't look very alpha to be just sitting there having somebody wear your ears out. It'd be one thing if she was actually listening to the few points I
made!
Anyway, during the rant she happened to mention how, that the day he got fired, she cracked open a bottle of wine to
celebrate, and drank the whole thing. So when the point came where she seemed to have finished the rant (and everyone was just looking at her in silence for a brief period), she sort of broke the awkwardness by referring back to her earlier remark - she said "so you can understand why I enjoyed that bottle of wine!" I remember thinking "that would've been the perfect thing to say to hint at her to shut up". Why didn't I say that? I guess the answer is because I was letting the others set the pace of things, and reacting to such.
If someone else had made this comment, it would (a) be something that she'd relate to and agree with, and more importantly (b) it'd be referring to the lighter side of things, as well as making the assumption that she's finished.
So although it's good to go deep to connect, you have to know the right thing to say to resurface and steer the convo on a
more positive path. I think Chase referred to this in some article, but I'd be more interested in seeing a few examples of
this!
Virg
made!
Anyway, during the rant she happened to mention how, that the day he got fired, she cracked open a bottle of wine to
celebrate, and drank the whole thing. So when the point came where she seemed to have finished the rant (and everyone was just looking at her in silence for a brief period), she sort of broke the awkwardness by referring back to her earlier remark - she said "so you can understand why I enjoyed that bottle of wine!" I remember thinking "that would've been the perfect thing to say to hint at her to shut up". Why didn't I say that? I guess the answer is because I was letting the others set the pace of things, and reacting to such.
If someone else had made this comment, it would (a) be something that she'd relate to and agree with, and more importantly (b) it'd be referring to the lighter side of things, as well as making the assumption that she's finished.
So although it's good to go deep to connect, you have to know the right thing to say to resurface and steer the convo on a
more positive path. I think Chase referred to this in some article, but I'd be more interested in seeing a few examples of
this!
Virg
