Straddling the Friends/Lover Line

[Tkr]

It's one thing to be a pussy-whipped girlfriend and be her friend, but you could also be the sexy friend she'd like an indiscretion with.
How do we know which is which and how not to cross over the line? Here's my situation, and I'm simply going to invite the girl over to cook dinner, but what I'm looking for is to pin the dynamic. There's a lot of interesting stuff going on.

I recently got sucked into an old social circle where I've got this new "friendship" thing going with 2 girls. We had lunch today. It was on my terms and I had already told her it was my day off so I said why not. If a girl is very shy it may be good to get her used to opening up around me.

The first girl, the girl who introduced me to #2, I screwed her brains out a year ago and she's a really cool girl. Been with many many guys, she knows what she's doing, and I fear that I dont. She still submits to me, but she's a feisty one and had her fill. She's not aggressively pursuing me anymore.

The second girl, the one I'm more interested in, is a young shy type who's just starting to open up sexually. She has #1 in a bet of a mentor role, which is a bit of a double edged sword in my opinion. We've got a great vibe going and she knows I want to see her, though every time she's about to follow me home girl #1 interrupts us - she's a frame control expert, and while I can hold my own with her, IDK what she wants.

The dynamic is that they are both submissive to me, yet in a playful way. Almost like a mini-competition, but without clear goals. #1 isn't trying to jump in bed (she had time and is very assertive, not playing back), and though she's opening up #2 for me, she's also cockblocking us. #2 is a very sweet woman, and enjoys doing/getting things for me, she even felt the need to say thank you when I gave her a kiss. I looked at her face and knew almost instinctively that I will be fucking her at some point.

The situation isn't playing the way I planned, but given the way they defer to me I believe I'm in a strong position.
How does one fall into the friends frame from here? Is it more about losing the alpha status, or becoming too comfortable?

I think there is some potential for a 3some here bc #1 wants to take shots with us later this weekend, but I'm not sure how to guide that

Thanks for reading,
- TR

 

[4AllEternity]

Dude, I read your post, then had to re-read it because it blew my mind. If your description is accurate, it definitely sounds to me a lot like Girl #1 is possibly trying to setup a threesome. Why do I think this?

A) You say Girl #1 is very sexually confident and also extremely assertive for a woman. I personally think this makes jealousy of Girl #2 very unlikely, since as you said she (#1) is typically very bold with you. If she wanted to cockblock #2 and fuck you instead, she'd probably just demand that, or make some sort of bold direct move of her own.

B) You say Girl #2 is being "mentored" by Girl #1 (I'm assuming by that you mean that Girl #1 seems to be filling the Wingman role for Girl #2). If all Girl #1 was doing was trying to get her friend laid with you, she'd pretty openly maneuver you so it would happen. But as you said she seems to be repeatedly setting up these circumstances, but intervening when you try and leave with Girl #2.

C) Girl #2 seems to have no issue with the fact her friend keeps jerking her around with you. Even if she wasn't super socially perceptive I don't think she could possibly not think her friend's behavior was odd, if she wasn't in on it herself.

So it definitely seems like Girl #1 is down for a threesome. Girl #2 is probably participating in this "plan", but I would be less sure in that regard.

Either way, I think your course of action is pretty simple: Go drinking with both. Focus on girl #2, while acting more casual/brolike with #1. Once you've all warmed up, suggest you all go back to your place to keep the party going. Once you've gotten them both home, I would get things warmed back up if they've cooled a little (don't go in guns blazing proposing a threesome or physically escalating before the mood has returned). Then propose a drinking game, I would suggest strip poker or something of the sort. I'm willing to bet Girl #1 will jump on that and egg Girl #2 on. Do your best to win enough that both are partially disrobed, and then start losing until you're either fully naked or almost so (you decide based on what feels the most fluid, keeping boxers on allows you to tease a little, which might be more effective, but if you're not good at that I'd just let the game play out until you're nude). At this point things will probably play out on their own. I'm willing to bet Girl #1 will initiate, and bring in Girl #2.

I have to say that I have not had a threesome myself, but if I had a girl hinting so outwardly this is precisely how I'd handle it. It's safe, if it turns out they're not down for that, they'll simply stop playing before they get to the topless point. Laugh it off and maybe even make a run for Girl #2 herself (if Girl #1 sticks around, just get Girl #2 out of the room on some pretense, and then kiss her. if she's receptive just lead her somewhere private and go for it).

Good luck man!

 

[Tkr]

Hey 4All, thanks for the analysis. I meant "mentor" in the sense that sororities have their "bigs" and "littles", and though #2 is not in a sorority it's clear #1 is grooming her for that role the upcoming semester - they only just met too. It's a cool dynamic for them.

That's a pretty straightforward 3way breakdown, I'll definitely use that if we end up drinking this weekend. She owes me alcohol and it'd be easy to bring them back for more now that they're already familiar with my room having drank in it before. Since it's on her to set up the drinking I'm going to try and bang #2 before the weekend.

What I was trying to get a deeper understanding of before I dive in is the fragility of these kinds of situations. I only ever deal with one-on-one cold approaches wherever and girls that approach me so this is new stuff.

I read a great article here on the 3 types of female "friends" you'll meet, but not so much on how they can come crashing down.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/sex-f ... -youll-get

I had one girl a year ago, also friend of a friend, who came home with me for a "drink" only to break down about her ex-boyfriend. I was so turned off I didn't even try to kiss her (she really wasn't worth it) and I then consciously observed her go from "a sure fuck" to "a drunk tease" as the night whittled down, over to a "flirty/combative friend-zone" when we hung out a week later.

At a very particular moment she labeled me a pansy and though I live by the law of least effort, from then on she took all my mannerisms/"dominant behaviour"? as a nuisance rather than an opportunity to win me over like the original 2 girls in my story do. I think it's reversible, but it's clearly easier to meet any other girl at this point. This may be a textbook case of auto-rejection, but it'd be great to learn how to walk the line well enough to keep the first situation going almost indefinitely and avoid an ending like this one.

I get the feeling that I often write too much when I post here, though that's alright with me. I have my own private folder of many many notes on all manners of related things and I suppose this is just an extension of that for anybody willing to read and/or chime in.

I often write notes about things I already understand in order to understand them better enough that I can eliminate redundancy and express them in my own words - I find that it helps me both in conversation with male friends about girls and with girls that need to be nudged a certain way.

-TR