- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
On Tinder:
Me: Hey, my Netflix is broken, can I come over and use yours?
Her: Yes!
[Logistical texts]
I arrive at her place. She greets me in her underwear. She makes up some excuse for why we can't stay in the living room and we go directly to her bedroom. We immidietly get under the sheets and start cuddling. I chat with her for a few minutes just as a formality and try to kiss her. She kind of blocks it- That is to say, she starts out not reciprocating for like a second. Then she finally gives me a slight peck as I continue to kiss her. Then she pulls away.
She then starts giving me a bunch of shit tests. Which I feel like I passed. But she also directly mentioned that she didn't want to be kissed. I'm very confused given the context of this date. But in any case, I start out treating it like a normal date. I start doing standard bantering/deep diving stuff. The problem is, this chick is clearly psychologically fucked up. Anytime I ask her about anything at all, she manages to bring the conversation back to one of four things
-Her dead ex-bf whom she was very much in love with.
-How she doesn't really like men
-How she doesn't approve of casual hookups (given the context...wtf???)
-How she likes "nice guys" and her last two bfs were "douchebags turned nice". Also, she mentioned she likes "bashful guys who get nervous around her". Guys who she feels like she needs to chase down and make the first move on. She doesn't like guys who are super confident (I'm guessing her past experiences have put her in a temporary state of genuinely being tired of bad boys and just wanting someone "nice" who she feels secure around, and auto-rejecting anyone who she feels is higher value than her).
I try to thread cut all these conversations and move it onto something more productive. It doesn't work. She keeps circling back to these topics. This is made even more difficult by the fact that she's clearly going through some sort of trauma/grief over the dead BF thing. Also, she explicitly and shamelessly mentioned thatshe has no dreams/goals in life, and she's fine with that. She used to until her BF died. Additionally, she has no hobbies/passions other than partying.
What breaks my heart is that she's a really sweet girl. She seems to have just gotten fucked over in life.
Anyways...I also tried to escalate every once in a while. It was strange. She would let me (and has been letting me since the start),
1. Cuddle/grope her
2. Touch her breasts
But anytime I try to kiss her or touch her pussy, she did this really weird thing where she physically neither rejects nor accepts me advances. When I try to touch her pussy, she won't immediatly move my hand. She'll just say in a whiny/complainy voice "No" or "You need to be a gentleman" etc. I chose to ignore those comments. After this, she very meekly moves my hand away.
I rinsed and repeated several times. Try to deep dive/create some sort of rapport (not very successful given the lack of productive topics), then try to escalate. None of it worked. I remembered reading in one of Alek's articles that one way to overcome LMR is to shack with her then try again in the morning.
She changes her shirt in front of me (she wasn't wearing a bra) and we go to sleep.
The next morning, I try escalating again. Aware that she will probably put up resistance, I try using actual escalation ladders this time. It seemed to have some effect. The combination of playing with/sucking on her tits then slowly moving down to her pussy seemed to lighten up the resistance a little bit. In fact, I was even fingering her at one point. But she was protesting the whole time. And kind of/very weakly trying to move my hand away. Being that this girl is as fucked up as she is, I felt like she might easily let me have sex with her even if she doesn't want to. Which would be rape. With any other girl, I would have continued until I got a hard no. But in this case, I kinda felt like I might be crossing the line and going into rape territory. So I decided to concede. We get up, get dressed. She changes both her shirt and her underwear in front of me again.
We go upstairs. I tell her I have to go cause I have class in an hour. I hug her. For the first time after that, she initiated a kiss with me. She enthusiastically started making out with me. I pick her up and try to move her onto a nearby couch. But apparently, I was hurting her by picking her up (it was really awkward cause I mostly had to use one arm, the other is still recovering from surgery). This kind of killed the moment. So I left. She said she would text me after she got off work. She never did. Being that this is a failed escalation, I don't expect to see this girl again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Closing thoughts: This girl was really psychologically damaged. So I would have been very hesitant about going on a second date with her anyways. Additionally, I've come to realize that I'm having a very difficult time drawing the line between persisting past resistance when escalating, and straight up rape.
Me: Hey, my Netflix is broken, can I come over and use yours?
Her: Yes!
[Logistical texts]
I arrive at her place. She greets me in her underwear. She makes up some excuse for why we can't stay in the living room and we go directly to her bedroom. We immidietly get under the sheets and start cuddling. I chat with her for a few minutes just as a formality and try to kiss her. She kind of blocks it- That is to say, she starts out not reciprocating for like a second. Then she finally gives me a slight peck as I continue to kiss her. Then she pulls away.
She then starts giving me a bunch of shit tests. Which I feel like I passed. But she also directly mentioned that she didn't want to be kissed. I'm very confused given the context of this date. But in any case, I start out treating it like a normal date. I start doing standard bantering/deep diving stuff. The problem is, this chick is clearly psychologically fucked up. Anytime I ask her about anything at all, she manages to bring the conversation back to one of four things
-Her dead ex-bf whom she was very much in love with.
-How she doesn't really like men
-How she doesn't approve of casual hookups (given the context...wtf???)
-How she likes "nice guys" and her last two bfs were "douchebags turned nice". Also, she mentioned she likes "bashful guys who get nervous around her". Guys who she feels like she needs to chase down and make the first move on. She doesn't like guys who are super confident (I'm guessing her past experiences have put her in a temporary state of genuinely being tired of bad boys and just wanting someone "nice" who she feels secure around, and auto-rejecting anyone who she feels is higher value than her).
I try to thread cut all these conversations and move it onto something more productive. It doesn't work. She keeps circling back to these topics. This is made even more difficult by the fact that she's clearly going through some sort of trauma/grief over the dead BF thing. Also, she explicitly and shamelessly mentioned thatshe has no dreams/goals in life, and she's fine with that. She used to until her BF died. Additionally, she has no hobbies/passions other than partying.
What breaks my heart is that she's a really sweet girl. She seems to have just gotten fucked over in life.
Anyways...I also tried to escalate every once in a while. It was strange. She would let me (and has been letting me since the start),
1. Cuddle/grope her
2. Touch her breasts
But anytime I try to kiss her or touch her pussy, she did this really weird thing where she physically neither rejects nor accepts me advances. When I try to touch her pussy, she won't immediatly move my hand. She'll just say in a whiny/complainy voice "No" or "You need to be a gentleman" etc. I chose to ignore those comments. After this, she very meekly moves my hand away.
I rinsed and repeated several times. Try to deep dive/create some sort of rapport (not very successful given the lack of productive topics), then try to escalate. None of it worked. I remembered reading in one of Alek's articles that one way to overcome LMR is to shack with her then try again in the morning.
She changes her shirt in front of me (she wasn't wearing a bra) and we go to sleep.
The next morning, I try escalating again. Aware that she will probably put up resistance, I try using actual escalation ladders this time. It seemed to have some effect. The combination of playing with/sucking on her tits then slowly moving down to her pussy seemed to lighten up the resistance a little bit. In fact, I was even fingering her at one point. But she was protesting the whole time. And kind of/very weakly trying to move my hand away. Being that this girl is as fucked up as she is, I felt like she might easily let me have sex with her even if she doesn't want to. Which would be rape. With any other girl, I would have continued until I got a hard no. But in this case, I kinda felt like I might be crossing the line and going into rape territory. So I decided to concede. We get up, get dressed. She changes both her shirt and her underwear in front of me again.
We go upstairs. I tell her I have to go cause I have class in an hour. I hug her. For the first time after that, she initiated a kiss with me. She enthusiastically started making out with me. I pick her up and try to move her onto a nearby couch. But apparently, I was hurting her by picking her up (it was really awkward cause I mostly had to use one arm, the other is still recovering from surgery). This kind of killed the moment. So I left. She said she would text me after she got off work. She never did. Being that this is a failed escalation, I don't expect to see this girl again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Closing thoughts: This girl was really psychologically damaged. So I would have been very hesitant about going on a second date with her anyways. Additionally, I've come to realize that I'm having a very difficult time drawing the line between persisting past resistance when escalating, and straight up rape.
