Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :)

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Guys,

I believe that success with women and success with yourself are two totally different things, but they correlate so well that most guys think it's the same. IT has the same connotation as happiness and materialism that men search for cars and money just to get girls. But If you want to check out that discussion, it's here viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2630&p=12270&hilit=god+search#p11747 (The Search for God)

But anyway this is about women.

So basically you are told to disqualify yourself as boyfriend material, but you are well advised to work on your desires and your goals in life, and that includes women. Then you note. "Eh, what i am trying to achieve here?". Basically the reason why you disqualify yourself as boyfriend material is to set a good precedent with women. Women know that quality husbands, boyfriend and friends are very hard to get, and when they find one, They slow things down. There's a lot of grey areas here where i need Chase here probably to clear this out. and this is one of Chase past comments on me, which might be helpful to you guys.

Re: Meeting Quality Women via Friends or ?
Postby Chase » Fri May 17, 2013 1:33 am

Zac-

ZacAdam wrote:
Any information on dating quality women who have prestige, money, her own place? I can't be a model though, at least my first experience was terrible. and the photographer didn't help me out.


Having a credential or two that you can throw out there off the cuff helps lower defenses a bit. Being able to say "I worked for [prestigious company]" or "I went to [prestigious school]" takes her off guard. You don't want to do TOO much of that, though, or else you either look like a showboat, or such an amazing catch she'll want to be sure to take things slow.

Having something exotic or adventurous about yourself helps a lot. If you're a writer / actor / musician, it doesn't matter if you're stone broke with no mainstream credentials, you can still land girls like this for a fling at least.

I've known several guys who had no education higher than high school and had never held a real job who routinely dated women who were attractive, intelligent, and financially successful with prestigious careers (finance, law, etc.) or athletic/other accomplishments (Olympics, beauty pageants, etc.). One of these guys was very smooth and very good looking (but kind of dumb... he was these smart women's 'guilty pleasure'), and the other guy was average looking but had trained himself to be quite charismatic and was naturally pretty energetic.

If you want an easy way of thinking about it, think about it like this: have at least ONE thing you excel at fairly hard (writing, music, sports, career, charisma, looks, etc.). Surround that with some other stuff you're reasonably excellent in. Then, even ambitious, driven, accomplished women with killer looks will find you intriguing.

Also - have reams of ambition and be able to show it. Have way more ambition than her, and be inspiring about it. Ambitious women (and all very beautiful / very successful women are ambitious) want men MORE ambitious than they are, most of the time (occasionally the very intelligent women like this want smart dweebs for relationships though... they feel more secure with these guys, and relate to them better).

Meet these girls via day game. Social circle can work too, but it's slow and hit-or-miss... you need the right circles for what you're looking for.

Chase

One might ask why be so successful in Life and career and business when quality women end up with guys who are not as good as them. In my view, Women need to "save face". In a society where marriage is prevalent, she needs to have somebody to depend upon as the "husband or provider role".

You can see this with

Jennifer Aniston (She's not really into anybody but she needs a partner due to societal influence. Disclaimer: I hope they don't kick my a$$. )
Oprah Winfrey (She doesn't believe in marriage but has a partner)

Women are more pressured to have partners, and men do get replaced, as Chase noted in his article "You not Special, neither is she". IT's a matter of whether the replacement is just playing the "husband or provider" role or she really loves him.

I hope this clears. (To other experienced guys, Help me input if there's any)

Zac

 

[Drck]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

Hi Zac,

As a lover and not boyfriend material you don't have to be successful. As described many times, if you have too much value she may go to autorejection or will want to be your long term BF. I'm sure you know that.

The truth is, you may be a good lover and even BF without being much successful. The thing with success is that you get into higher class, and in higher class you will meet higher class women. Say you work in an large office and you get promoted. Now you have several people below you, including many women. By default you have bigger value - you seem more dominant, you are more successful and so on. You will raise women interest naturally in you, and depending whether your desire is to be a BF or lover, you can chose these women. Remember, these women have lots of friends too, you may get a good recommendation, they will invite you to places. Now say you become CEO of that company, you will get even more interest. That of course doesn't mean that the guy who holds the lowest position in the company cannot get laid.

Not only that, you will make more money. Let's cut the crap about being materialistic. Everybody here is materialistic, cars, apartment, jewelry, nice clothes, traveling, going for dinners and movies, computers and iPhones, all that is materialistic, so unless you want to live live like Jesus or Buddha who gave it all up, materialism is simply reality for majority of people.

Money is freedom, you can go to places, you don't have to worry about what you gonna eat if you loose job, you don't have to work for slave salary just so you can pay the bill on a car that you need to take you to work.

Even with money, you can chose to live very simple life, have nothing expensive, live in small place, and don't spend anything extra than you need. You just have the choice, you have that freedom.

Another thing, by focusing on success you are not focusing on women. As you know, she doesn't want to be your #1 focus, so by working on something you will take care of it. Your success first, women second. Make her wait, you don't have time for her, you have to go to a meeting or write something important. She needs to know that she is not your priority.

Building success will build certain character. You have to deal with a lot of people including many women, you have to do things, you are working on something important, something that matters to you, you are actively doing things, you are positive and ambitious. You have self esteem, you care about yourself, about your life. This will be automatically reflected in your behavior, attitude, the way you deal with people, even body language. Most women can see it right away, in the first second they see you they will know. You of course never brag about your success, you let her dig it out, and even if she doesn't ask she feels that you are successful.

Success can mean different things for different people. Some people open little shop or join big real estate, others want to be CEO or prestigious lawyers, another one wants to win some local sport event, yet another one wants to build successful website. It just all depends on motivation of that person. You should spread your success in different areas, there is absolutely no need to be "the best of the best" but you should be successful.

You don't build that success for anyone else, and you shouldn't want to be successful to impress anyone, not a single woman. You do it for yourself only. Be selfish, learn some narcissism, it is your life, not anyone's else. You only allow her to share your successful life for period of time that YOU choose. What else you gonna do in life anyway, sit and watch tv?

STOP WORRYING ABOUT WOMEN AND BUILD YOUR LIFE. You will naturally attract them by doing just that.

 

[gijas04]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

I agree. It seems to me that when I was the most successful in life women noticed. When my main focus was on my life and not picking them up I would notice more looks, flirts and overall attention from women but at the time I did nothing about it because this was not my main concern. Now it is and the road has been somewhat rough for me.

However, there has been a new trend since I now notice their interest and try to do something about. They know this to. I'm not saying that it's working against me but rather for me to the extent women know I'm looking for them. I've had several women open me and they probably did this before but I was oblivious to what they were doing. So yes, having a mindset that whatever happens you will be just fine without them is a great thing to have. But when you become needy of women they will auto-reject or worse, ignore you completely. I've seen both sides and I hope I stay on the latter. But just being non needy and friendly can go a long way and here's why.

Last night I was at a coffee shop and noticed two young girls sitting alone talking. I sat down right next to them but didn't engage initially. I read my paper while they chatted. At one point I glanced across the room and saw these guys at a table looking at them. It was kind of cute and I thought why don't these guys just walk over and say hi?

Anyway, when the two girls started to leave I stopped them and gave one a compliment on her scarf. She almost shoved her tits right in my face to show me that she made it herself. But the moral is I wasn't chasing them at all. I was living my own life but when I wanted to engage I did and they responded. After they left I glanced toward the guys at the table just to non-verbally say this is how its done. They gave me a hard cold stare and then walked out. I hope I taught them to be assertive next time.

 

[Marty]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

Gijas:

After they left I glanced toward the guys at the table just to non-verbally say this is how its done. They gave me a hard cold stare and then walked out.

This is very cool. But:

She almost shoved her tits right in my face to show me that she made it herself.

If she was qualifying herself to you that obviously, why didn't you escalate? Propose a later date (without her friend) and get her digits at least.

Nonetheless, kudos on conducting a group opening, this is quite tough (especially in day game).

-Marty

 

[gijas04]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

Gijas:

She almost shoved her tits right in my face to show me that she made it herself.

If she was qualifying herself to you that obviously, why didn't you escalate? Propose a later date (without her friend) and get her digits at least.

Nonetheless, kudos on conducting a group opening, this is quite tough (especially in day game).

-Marty

Marty,
I'm not sure why? She was really happy that I paid her a compliment. But prior to this happening I was auto-rejected at a bookstore. So I think I limited myself in this interaction to prevent it from happening again. I don't let rejection effect me emotionally but its no fun either. I'm learning.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

I am writing a thread on this soon because I found this out a lot.

Hot girls don't care if you have a degree from Harvard or can play a Piano because they are hot girls. The one thing I found about guys who managed to get with the hottest women is that they had their one in. Growing up they worked at fancy restaurants and they had access to these hot girls and in college they were in the fancy fraternities and found a way to get hot girls there. Notice how in college the drunk frat boy who smells like alcohol, majors in something that probably won't get him much money or much of a future, and yells like an idiot most of the times is getting laid while the intelligent guy who is working on his future is not?

What is going on exactly? I wondered this myself.

Then I realized that it gets much worse as you get older. I see doctors and lawyers who have a tough time with women but DJs that found high school too hard manage to sleep with the 8s and 9s we all go crazy after. It's like as men living in the US we have to sacrifice one or the other. If we invest too much time in a nice career that pays well, we don't have enough time to chase after the hottest women or be a part of their world. That's the biggest thing, getting the access to these girls and then from there on out making yourself a part of their world.

The lifestyle choices are so important but that is what PUA and everything else tends to overlook.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: Success with Women and Success with Yourself. I hope Exp guys help me too. :

HI Guys,

I like to note to Proactivity, i will read your post.

Anyway, I have meet quality women who are models, have things going on for themselves. The girls that most people noted are "hot" isn't exactly hot but rather i assert here is "quality" and that's subjective to most people. IF you talking about beautiful women, or women who are "hot" because they wear make up, Yes definitely. I have seen it everywhere. and yes they usually sometimes end up with guys who are "lesser" than them, as you all noted.

Am i a bad person for saying a guy who is "lesser" than their women? Maybe but i am well aware that i am "lesser". IT also makes me aware that "Success" is just a label.

Truth be told, A recent comment by DrexelScott, who noted that we most PUA guys will not touch women on the top caliber. This group of women he note are women who are not just beautiful but university graduates, exemplary credentials (model, DJ, broadcaster, ambassador, doctor..etc) and killer ass/breast/body. They travel around the world, They meet people, They hang out on the "rich" areas. You barely meet them. Are this girls bad people because they hang out in the "rich" areas? Nope. and if you can get something better, why not? (that applies to everyone). Chase in the past also noted why you have to be successful, mainly because when you hit your late 30s and 40s and beyond, It is far easier for you to travel and tell women you there because your business is there and it's an easy excuse for you to tell women you travel and not there to hit women. and you have far easier access to all this women.

This are women who are quality women and also beautiful. Quality and Beauty all in one setting.

SO for me, I realize that well i can get the girls who are beautiful but if i were to get "quality" into the equation, It's like saying i am buying a Citizen watch (which i have) versus a Tag Heuer watch (which i always wanted to have). Are women who don't travel around the world "not quality"? Of course not, because just like the Citizen watch is important, the women you go for, it's also a stepping stone. You do not want to discredit your past teachers, your past, your past material you used, your past girlfriends, your past failures. It's stepping stone to ultimately where you want to go, whatever that is that you want to go.

Quality is "subjective" to most people, Just like greed. To some people, "Greed" means buying an extra Ferrari, To another, "Greed" means buying two chicken rice because one is hungry. It's a little off tact but yea..

Zac