Suddently getting the boyfriend excuse in cold approach. But why?

[kristian]

I dont know if it is because my vibe is slightly off, or because I am being more direct about my intentions when I talk to girls in daygame, but lately around 90% of the approaches I make, end up with "thank you, but my boyfriend would not be happy if we go out".

This is quite confusing because after doing this for around 4 months I am getting this quite recently and not sparingly either. Specially after working on and improving my fundamentals.

I can see that my initial reactions are better than before, and I can always start a conversation with almost every woman. But for some reason, when I number close girls, they start telling me that they are flattered, but cant meet me. Since I do not have any video evidence from my approaches or a more experienced friend to tell me what I can do differently, let me break down some of the patterns when I meet girls:

• *I see a woman that I really like and notice something about her that is interesting.

• *Most of the time I pre-open. And let her turn to see me first before I lock eyes with her. This is when I start giving her a genuine compliment, sometimes it is her clothes, other times her walk, eyes or vibe. After that I introduce myself, before starting a situational conversation (eg, so, what are you up to on a day like this?)

• *Usually girls give me good reactions when I do this. I am, most of the time, making sure my fundamentals are good enough to make them attracted. I smile, I make sure my voice is sexy enough and I always try to move things forward, not matter if she has 15 or 2 minutes to talk.

In other words; working on my fundamentals and having an abundance mindset make me more confident when I approach. But instead of getting better results, like I did when I was less experienced and more nervous, I am only getting better reactions.

Why this shift so suddenly? I mean, even when I talk to women that start giving me approach invitations this is happening. Could it be that I am so forward with my non-verbals that women have to make a quick decision then and there? Or could it be that because I am so eager to make things happen makes them unsure of me? And have some of you gotten reactions like this? If so, how do you deal with it?

I feel like I am making progress in a way, but also taking one step forward, two steps back. I got more rejections before, at least initially in our interactions, but I had more numbers and dates. I feel like I am right before breaking through to a new skill level; get dates consistently. At least my fundamentals are better (girls notice me more), but I lack the results I used to have. Any ideas?

 

[Shake&Bake]

I pretty much get it from every girl I approach too. I really want to know what I'm doing wrong but cant pin point it

 

[sneaky_charm]

This is what you need to read my friend:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... -boyfriend

Cheers!

 

[killerman]

I get the boyfriend excuse all the time haha. i know what you mean when you say your results were better when you started off even though you were more nervous. same here. first couple months my results were incredible and got a ton of numbers and went on loads of dates. then when i got more confident the results did drop a little, though i was still having success. one theory ive got is that when you start out initially the girls sense you're a little nervous but they dont mind that much since if they like you they like you. but then once you start being more confident you come across as a perfectly oiled machine and for them it seems kind of weird, like they're probably thinking "he's approaching me randomly on the street and he's not even nervous like most guys would be, oh he must be approaching a shit load of girls, i cant be the only one". I actually got a text from a couple of girls once where they said they thought i talked to all the girls like this. so i think that maybe approaching a ton of girls in a very confident manner might communicate on a subconcious level that you approach a ton of girls, since that's the only explanation how you got good at game - by doing a shit load of approaches. I may be wrong about this, it's just a theory i came up with. but it might be true, seeing how on the other hand, if a guy is nervous, it's communicating to the girl that he doesnt do this often, so it makes her think that she's special, as she's the one he chose to approach. once again, just my theory.

However, on the positive side, good thing you're now confident with your approaches, time to take it to another level, what do you say when they say they've got a boyfriend? i like to say "oh it's ok, i always tell my girlfriends to go talk to other guys" ;-)

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

Just my quick input, I don't know for sure but I can allude some anecdotal experience to my approaches on campus. It's almost like if I'm to confident and do 10-15 approaches most don't pan out or I get the boyfriend excuse; however if I do 1-2 (and therefore seem a bit more nervous) they usually go extremely well and we go out on dates/kiss/fuck. I dunno I'm not that experienced though so I could be completely wrong, might be when I'm not consciously approaching (like today when I was focused on remembering shit for my midterms) I only approach girls who are flirting with me, give me strong signals they want to be approached.

I've def had the "do you do this to all girls" line given to me as well.

 

[kristian]

but then once you start being more confident you come across as a perfectly oiled machine and for them it seems kind of weird, like they're probably thinking "he's approaching me randomly on the street and he's not even nervous like most guys would be, oh he must be approaching a shit load of girls, i cant be the only one".

You might have a point there, killerman. I went out once and suddently met one of the girls I cold approached at the street, she instanly recognized me and told me one of the reasons she did not accept my date invitation was that she is lesbian. Later she told me she liked my approach, but it seemed like I did this quite often and that made her not seem special. "You should work on making your approach even more personal. I just got the idea that you were some sort of a player", she told me.

But I believed that I did this by deep diving and showing interest. I guess girls can sense that I might be rushing through the whole interaction to be able to close them.

however if I do 1-2 (and therefore seem a bit more nervous) they usually go extremely well and we go out on dates/kiss/fuck. I dunno I'm not that experienced though so I could be completely wrong, might be when I'm not consciously approaching (like today when I was focused on remembering shit for my midterms) I only approach girls who are flirting with me, give me strong signals they want to be approached.

I feel the same way too. If I am nervous girls are either dismissive (because I seem needy) or very warm towards my approach. And if I am very in the zone, warmed up girls are also very receptive to me. Being anything in between, or just approaching for the number makes them act either cold or makes them come up with the boyfriend excuse. I am already not so nervous around girls anymore, so I need to work on being in state and warmed up whenever I approach women.

This is what you need to read my friend:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/what- ... -boyfriend

Cheers!

Ive been reading and re-reading that article, man. At first I thought I wasn't high value enough, but realize that I am too valuable for these girls. I also remember from my past interactions especially in the beginning. Being too nervous = some results. Not being nervous at all = almost no results.

Its amazing how just getting rid of the approach anxiety has given me new challenges. I guess I'll just practice exuding warmth a lot more. Its not a problem when I feel great about myself though, but the normal days, its just very difficult getting anywhere other than some reactions.

 

[Orelfius]

guys, you're getting false positive results that's all.

You said you've been working hard on your fundamentals. That mean you are probably hot now, (or at least, more than the average). Everyone like to receive some attention and be desired from hot people. It's huge for their sense of self, for their validation.

So before, you were having bad reaction and good results (i.e.: uninterested girls were giving you bad reactions, interested girls were sleeping with you), now you are lost in a sea of good reactions (every girls are giving you a good reaction but still only interested girls give you good results).

That mean your social skills and general attractiveness is intense, good news. Now simply talking to you or flirting with you cary enough value that almost any girls want to do it.

Now you know why the advanced tricks are all about "saving time", "polarizing more the interaction". You don't need to be better with girls, you need to filter quickly all the false positive.

And no, trying to get the girl who have a boyfriend anyway is not a good strategy. It's smarter to spot her ASAP to next her ASAP. There's plenty of available pretty girls around, no need to makes one life more difficult (unless you want that specific challenge).

I hope it help.