Support Needed

[theemann31]

Sup ya'll, I just got back from daygaming and I got rejected 6 times, 2 of them stung a bit. After that I was just walking around and saw some dude getting rejected as well so I said hi to him and he was gaming as well, long story short we traded numbers and after 15 minutes of convo and some impromptu approaching together, he laughed at me because I'm a virgin but said we should still go gaming together at some point.

So basically, it fucking sucks that I'm out actively approaching and asking girls for their numbers, but am getting rejected and made fun of because I'm a virgin. But the dude I met pointed something out to me that I want your take on.

He said that getting girls is not as much a numbers game as much as it is about having high quality interactions with each girl approached. So I have to up the "quality" of my interactions (and he suggested the website SimplePickup to me).

I feel like (to quote Katy Perry) a plastic bag and am pretty sad that I'm grinding for results but still no success. So I guess I just need to hear something motivational from you and something about upping the "quality" of my interactions. By no means will I quit daygaming, but in the moment, I feel terrible and need to hear something from someone.

 

[Richard]

Your friend is both right and not right. Sure, you should strive to have quality interactions with everybody, but that does not mean pick-up isn't a numbers game either. The man who only has one quality interaction with a woman a year will not have the results of a man who has sub-par quality interactions with women once a day, ya'know?

That being said... SimplePickup is simply stupid.

When you first get into pick-up it takes about 3 months before you start to see steady progress, and that learning curve will lengthen or shorten depending on how much you go out and how much you learn in every interaction.

Just stick to day-game, make it a habit by doing it daily, and you'll be swimming in pussy in no time.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

I've tried to count my approaches and I'm not sure if I exaggerate the living fuck out of myself or am severely underestimating myself, but on the low end I'm at about 3k approaches life-time. On the high end, I'm probably a bit over 4k. I'm just an approach monster - for example, I visited Denver for a week and my last day/night there did probably 30-50 approaches. IN ONE FUCKING DAY. And I didn't get laid that day (got close with a Tinder match, but she ended up flaking at the last minute).

What I'm trying to say is you can handle 6 rejections.

I'll even give you this fun fact: I probably have the lowest batting average in the history of approaching: only 43 lays .

That's 43/3,000 - 0.14, or even worse 43/4,000 - 0.010.

Of course those approaches include makeouts, box-munching sessions, blowjobs, or fingerbang-bananzas, but hey, that's all pussy shit anyways. Intercourse or GTFO.

And I'm going for 5k. This year.

Catch up, dawg

- Hector

 

[ray_zorse]

To some extent, approaching is just about finding the girls who are into you. So if anything they did you a favour and saved you time by rejecting you. I mean, good fundamentals and game will mean no/fewer opportunities are missed, but even with poor fundamentals and game a friendly approach plus being your nice-guy self will work if she likes you from the start. It probably happens to me once every 20 approaches that she's thrilled to be approached and instantly happy and bubbly and investing. It's a function of her mood, existence of quality men in her life, whether she digs your face/body/features/vibe, etc, that you can't always control. So just keep approaching brother. Also remember: You are not your ego. Your ego is hurt, not you. You are your consciousness, the part of you that is aware of your ego and the things it does to protect/enhance itself.
Ray
PS The way to up the quality of your interactions is to be your genuine self, with no filters or social fear. That means, if you are thinking it, do it. E.g. She looks fucking sexy --> say "you look fucking sexy". You feel an urge to tickle her --> tickle her. You want her to hold your cock while you take a piss --> pull her into the bathroom and tell her to hold your cock. Etc... the crazier the better, the only reason you don't act on your impulses now is you're worried about losing her/incurring social consequences. Be the guy who doesn't GAF.

 

[snipefield]

Hey Anatman and Ray, these are some inspiring thoughts right here - enjoyed this. Makes me want to stop being a little bitch about approaching . "You look fucking sexy!" - simplicity is best )

 

[lao che]

Simplest way to up the quality of your interaction is to just relax and have fun.
That's the what but the how is Easier said than done, but with time you'll find your groove.
Try and have fun with every set and the girls will go along for the ride with you.

Always bear in mind though you should have a goal, namely, sex. Assume attraction and move faster than you think you should. Don't be afraid to burn sets to the ground. That can be fun, too. Push each interaction as far as you can.
Remember they're just girls, they can't hurt you. Play with them

Re being a virgin, it's not that big of a deal. You'll know what to do when the time comes.

Lao che

 

[theemann31]

About a week ago I got out my room and went to the library to chill for a minute or two and was walking through checking out anything that interests me, then saw a fine Asian from across the room and walked over.

We made eye contact and I gave her a smile which she reciprocated. I then walked right over to her and told her to take out her ear buds and went direct whispering into her ears

Made small talk for like 3 minutes with a bit of personal talk about her and biology then proposed we grab ice cream together later in the week, she smiled and said yes and gave me her number and we parted ways and she never answered any of my texts. I proceeded to go to another college and grab numbers there to forget her and ended up grabbing a couple more flake numbers, one girl even kissed me at the conclusion of a 5 minute interaction, agreed to a date then flaked on the number.

How do you prevent flakes like this?

 

[ray_zorse]

You can't man. Their mood falls when you're not there, it's as simple as that. At least at our level, expect half of them will flake. If you have an incredibly sexy vibe and get them wet between the legs (and possibly if you employ a little push/pull to spike their emotions and other such tricks) then this should improve a lot. But it's still a fact of life. Fortunately, plenty of girls are thirsty enough that they will still respond to text after their mood has dropped and they don't remember your interaction as well as they should. Note also that as a matter of good practice you should try to set up as much of the date logistics as possible in person, and thereafter get out your best texting game! I would also suggest another thing which I do on and off, which is to try voice calls instead of text. Chase recommends to get good at voice calls before tackling serious texting game. At the very least you should try a voice call if you feel the interaction was cut short, etc, and hence you're not on a solid footing, as it can help to recapture the emotions.
Ray

 

[theemann31]

Update:

So a couple of months have passed, I've dropped some body fat, packed on 15 lbs of muscle and look built and athletic with the whole v-taper thing, not bragging at all, tons of chicks I haven't seen in months tell me I look buff. I have no more fear to hit on girls and have a more intimate understanding of how this all works.

Yesterday I found out a girl I approached 3 months ago before summer break started, got a boyfriend and effectiely friend zoned me. So I was really depressed (her name was Indiana, she was super sweet and hot and i had plans for us after summer ended and we could see each other again) so I went out and approached the 13th girl of the week for me (just one approach today rather than sitting inside moping around feeling like horse shit) and had my first make out (and first kiss on the lips in general) with a nerdy girl.

This shit was weird, she didn't have her phone so she led me to her mom and I used her mom's phone, we cuddled on the bench and tried to make out but I think it was both of our first times because she couldn't stay on my lips, kept sliding off and kissing my ears and neck and after like 15 minutes of the whole interaction, when I tried to leave she stopped me and told me she wanted to meet my friends and really really liked me.

I don't want a girlfriend now and if so I like how much she cares for me but I wouldn't want to settle for her (Julia). So three of the other girls I hit on this week agreed to meet up. There was Candice, the thick black chick (about a 7.5) I just called her (she ended the call before picking up) so I sent a text trying to set something up. There was Jenna (really a 9.5, she was probably 5 feet tall or less and Ooooh god the things I want to do to her she seemed to like me and agreed to coffee Tuesday at 1 in person but didn't pick up just now on my call and hasn't answered my text. The third girl Briana (7 or 8) has a boyfriend and I think gave me her boyfriends number who I basically made friends with over text (so nothings happening there)

I guess the biggest differences between now and when I was the whiny bitch bugging Anatman and Richard and RayZorse and others are that: Now I'm lean and buff (and dress to show it off), hit on waaay more chicks (rather than bitch on the boards), am more aggressive with girls ( and life in general). Still a virgin, but not a kissless virgin (first kiss was a daygame makeout today).

Thanks for your help guys, putting up with my shit and all. I'll be great I'm 19 and soon will be fucking my choice of the hotties.
It's 3 months later and I am seeing steady progress with girls:

Your friend is both right and not right. Sure, you should strive to have quality interactions with everybody, but that does not mean pick-up isn't a numbers game either. The man who only has one quality interaction with a woman a year will not have the results of a man who has sub-par quality interactions with women once a day, ya'know?

That being said... SimplePickup is simply stupid.

When you first get into pick-up it takes about 3 months before you start to see steady progress, and that learning curve will lengthen or shorten depending on how much you go out and how much you learn in every interaction.

Just stick to day-game, make it a habit by doing it daily, and you'll be swimming in pussy in no time.

Richard was right on soo many levels though and it's fucking scary to see it all, the 3 months thing, higher quality interactions (making out on the bench and cuddling and talking for quality), hitting on large numbers of girls to find the girls that crave you (quantity). Richard gave some good fucking advice there.

But I just want to know if that swimming in pussy part is true or not...

 

[Rusty]

I can't say that I'm "swimming in pussy", but I will say this:

It's great that you're actively working on this part of your life. Keep meeting women. Reflect on your interactions, write about them, ask for feedback and make adjustments where you need them.

No matter what, it's always going to be a numbers game. It's the randomness of life.

A shift in mindset is also helpful.

I no longer base my success in whether I got a number, a kiss or anything like that. I base it off of, did I approach with authenticity, was I present, did I engage her fully, was I enjoying myself?

The moment I'm not having fun or enjoying the moment, I'm dead in the water. I don't base my level of satisfaction or happiness on whether I got an external outcome that I have essentially no control over.

You could be the suavest, most handsome, smooth, well dressed, "perfect" guy, but if she's not feeling you, for whatever reason, she's not feeling you. She won't give you her number, she won't go on a date with you, heck even if you get the number she might not respond. That's just how it is.

You can only control what you do. Keep hammering away at your self, keep tweaking, keep refining, keep building, keep working and know this, that you'll never be able to 100% control an interaction and get the outcome you want every time.

I enjoy meeting beautiful women for the sake of meeting them. Of course I would like their number. Of course I'd like to get to know them and make connections and get physical with them.

But I also don't NEED to. I want to. But I don't need it. I don't get frustrated or mad or upset that I didn't get what I want. I don't laugh at the rejection. I don't pretend that I didn't really want her. But I do realize that not all women are going to respond well to me, and that's ok.

I'm fine with being humbled. I'm fine with rejection. It's ok that a woman doesn't want me. I don't take it personal. I learn and improve where I can and move on. I actually learn more from women who turn me down than from the women who enthusiastically say yes.

Enjoy the process, let the chips fall where they may. Have fun.

And ironically, once you start being ok with the fact that everything is random, things become a little bit less so, and women can sense your easygoing and laidback attitude and they'll dig it. Whether you get a number or not. Whether she likes you or not. She'll respect you for it.

 

[Bboy100]

That's 43/3,000 - 0.14, or even worse 43/4,000 - 0.010.

I'm just curious, has that ratio increased as you got better with women? Or has it stayed approximately the same throughout? Also, do you do/would you advise doing any type of target selection (in terms of how receptive they'll be)? Or do you just approach every cute girl you see?

 

[theemann31]

Deep stuff Rusty, alot of hardcore life advice there.

I no longer base my success in whether I got a number, a kiss or anything like that. I base it off of, did I approach with authenticity, was I present, did I engage her fully, was I enjoying myself?

The moment I'm not having fun or enjoying the moment, I'm dead in the water. I don't base my level of satisfaction or happiness on whether I got an external outcome that I have essentially no control over.

You could be the suavest, most handsome, smooth, well dressed, "perfect" guy, but if she's not feeling you, for whatever reason, she's not feeling you. She won't give you her number, she won't go on a date with you, heck even if you get the number she might not respond. That's just how it is.

I like your definition of success, it's in the doing of the action not the result so there's no way to be disappointed, but right now I want the result and am loving the journey and the struggle, the fight to get there, each step closer feels like pure bliss and I'm slowly winning more and more. I'll make out with more girls, I'll set up dates until I get many, I'll ask many more girls for sex (for me to swing by their place and watch a movie) until I get my fill. And a lot of women will get lost in the progress, but I only focus on the positives (beside Indiana.. I MISS HER!! lol)

You may not know the feeling, but right now, it's labor day weekend (a long 3 day weekend). All my friends are with their girls and their families, I'm alone, my family is 1400 miles away and I really have no one, no girls or anything. So to be able to throw on a fitted tee and some shorts, go hit on a bunch of girls and find one to cuddle with on a bench, share an intimate conversation and make out feels really good.

But I also don't NEED to. I want to. But I don't need it. I don't get frustrated or mad or upset that I didn't get what I want. I don't laugh at the rejection. I don't pretend that I didn't really want her. But I do realize that not all women are going to respond well to me, and that's ok.

I'm fine with being humbled. I'm fine with rejection. It's ok that a woman doesn't want me. I don't take it personal. I learn and improve where I can and move on. I actually learn more from women who turn me down than from the women who enthusiastically say yes.

So true as well, I've accepted the numbers game, I had to hit on 13 girls until one was down today (I tried with other girls to no avail) and the no's I got made that one first success feel great. Right now, I learn more from my successes, I've found that showing off your muscles makes pre opening easier and girls waaay more friendly, if you casually suggest a number you get one, if you try to kiss a girl you'll get one eventually, if you suggest sitting down and take her hand and just go it works like a charm and cuddling with girls feels good for now at least.

I don't even see "rejections" as what most think, just a girl who is taken or not interested or busy, either way she's one less that i have to encounter before I meet the right girl, screen her in move her somewhere and cuddle and talk. I see a crowd of girls as a buffet now, try a few girls out then select one that agrees with my stomach (or something like that).

Enjoy the process, let the chips fall where they may. Have fun.

I had that attitude, then tweaked it slightly, to this "Enjoy the process, make the chips fall where you desire. Have fun." Subtle difference there, make shit go your way, numbers and aggression are your weapons to shape your life.