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LR  Swing Dancing And Chemistry

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,556
I picked up swing dancing a few weeks ago and it's very fun. It also is somewhat of a "representation" of the leading in dance form. One person (traditionally the guy, but doesn't have to be) "leads" and the other "follows". Both times I've gone I've had girls give me lots of IOI's and one girl was actually upset I wouldn't dance with her - despite me being terrible lol.


Swing Dancing Lesson

The second time I go I immediately lock eyes on this pretty, busty brunette - her tits are fucking massive. Pillows. She's wearing glasses with her hair in a bun and looks like a sexy librarian out of a porno or something. I know I have to talk to her from the get go. The practice session for beginners goes on for a bit, then subsides, and some people keep dancing while some others post up and wait to be asked to dance / take a breather. I position myself near her and she opens me. I was wearing a maroon V neck with grey shoulders, and white shorts. Like I said I'm a total noob so I was dancing by myself to try and get the foot work down (the rhythm isn't tough, just the stepping patterns for me as of now).

Her: You having fun dancing by yourself?
Me: You don't see my invisible dance partner? She's a great follow.
Her: Haha, yea you guys are quite the pair.
Me: Oh thanks! Yea, I'm still learning. Are you a frequent flyer here?
Her: Yea I kinda come here a lot. I've always been into dance and think they have a good thing going here.
Me: Oh, yea? What other dance are you into?
Her: (several dance forms, including hip-hop)
Me: Nice... that's extensive. Yea I did hip-hop when I was much younger. Which are your favorites?

I ask her questions about her dancing, tease her about wanting to be a ballerina, and then she asks me if I want to dance right when another fellow shows up and hovers around us. I didn't want to dance yet because I don't have the footwork, and she teases me about being hesitant. I tell her I usually do just jump right into stuff, but was practicing the moves the same way I'd practice an instrument. The guy next to us is a trained musician and asks me what I play, so we talk for a few minutes about this.

Once the guy and I finish up I ask her if she wants to teach me some dance moves, and she happily agrees. I lead her best I can and we dance - eventually getting into some good rhythm. A lot of people don't talk while they dance - partly because they are so damn good there's no need for talking, but since we were doing really basic dances it was easier to chat. I find out what she does and she's currently getting her license as a nurse practitioner (not an easy thing to do), and we had the exact same major & minor for undergraduate. I also find out that we both went through a moral crisis before finalizing our majors about climate change and we both almost gave up our passions to more or less become environmentalists. We just had so much in common, mainly our attitudes on shit.

I had to make a mental note not to stare at her tits. One of the first pickup articles I read years ago mentioned how girls that have big tits are actually quite impressed when you don't break eye contact because that's apparently uncommon.

We dance for a bit and then stop and just keep talking for about 20 minutes. I find out she's 25 and after making her guess my age a few times reveal I'm 22. She reacts to this in a "oh god you're too young for me" kind of way with her body language, so I know for sure she's interested. We had talked a little bit about how I work at a bar and so right then I ask her what she drinks. We talk about favorite alcohols for a quick sec, and the energy is building up in conversation (she probably knows I'm about to ask her out) and I ask if she's single. She smiles and says "yes! are you?!" and I go "yea! lucky you!" and we smile at each other and she does a mini little hand clap.

I ask her to get margaritas and she's down, then we exchange numbers - she spelled her name all WeIrD in my contacts, because she's a goofball :) We didn't find a specific day because she's leaving for vacation, but I told her that we would just figure it out as to not force anything. She said she wouldn't stay around the dance much longer tonight because she would be turning into a pumpkin (Cinderella joke - I decided to pseudoname her Pumpkin).

The emotions had peaked so I knew I had to cut things off very soon. I think we talked about her dog for a little bit and then I tell her that I'm stopping her from getting down and dancing her booty off, and suggest she go dance while I get some water. I come back and dance with a cute and submissive girl who's a beginner as well. She was very cute, but the conversation didn't go anywhere - I was mainly doing it for preselection anyways. After we dance I tell my friend who invited me to the dance lesson in the first place that I'll catch her later.


Setting Up The Date

As I was typing up a text to her, she texts me first.
Her: Would have stayed longer but was fr starting to turn orange :p Was nice talking to/dancing with you!
Me: lol sounds about right, it's way past your bedtime already. thanks you too :)

Next day
Her: Learn any new Movez after I left?
Me: nah I stayed a few more songs then called it... when did you say you were in [state] again?
Her: I'm in [state] from today til Saturday. Lil mini vacay. What you up to?
Me: ay that sounds relaxing. I'm pretty busy with some projects actually :p what's your schedule looking like next week?
Her: From what I can call one and a half drinks in, fairly open. Tuesday swing is free for students so there's that
Her: .. Recall*. Not call. Oof
Me: lol watch it you lightweight (; I think I'm working next Tuesday night, so let's grab a drink this Monday
Her: Being a lightweight is cost-fucking-effective and ain't nobody gon tell me different. I"ll double check me schedule but that should work :D
Me: great so drinks on you? ;P and that sounds good to me. enjoy your vacation Pumpkin :)
Me: PuMpKiN*
Her: Am stone cold sober with my calendar in front of me and have you down for da fourth. If I'm paying I pick the place (;
Me: woah there missy there's a new place I wanted to try downtown :) hold your horses

Next day
Her: I ain't got horses, mister ;P

Day before date
Her: You ready for tomorrow??
Me: yesss, when is a good time for you?
Her: Idk, normal drinking hours? I don't have a curfew, self-imposed or otherwise (pull me). Do we want to cash in on any happy hour deals at this place?
Me: I can't find the happy hour for [bar] but they definitely have one. Let's snag a drink around 7 then head somewhere for monday deals if were able feeling it :)
Her: Yeet sounds good
Me: sweet ;P talk with ya tomorrow Pumpkin
Her: PuMpKin*

Next day
*I call her two hours before the date, no answer*
Me: hey I tried calling [bar] about happy hr and they're not picking up :p let's just do [bar] for their monday deal and play it by ear after. 7:30 sound good?
Her: That's weird.. They're still fully open though right? And yeah [bar] at 7:30 works! Also was eating and didn't hear my phone ring; my bad
Me: yea ikr? and all good. perfect then, I'll meet ya out front :)
Her: Kk

hour later
Her: Soo I panicked and parked on [street] lmfao. Am walking down now
Me: lol a bit of an early stop but that works
Her: I came up the other way; was a late one
Her: Here


Margaritas

I show up just a few minutes late and she's waiting for me inside. She looks stunning, and is wearing these white pants that really make her ass pop. I hug her and walk us to sit down at a section of the bar. I order my marg and she gets a water. It didn't start off amazing for the first minute or two. She notices the hickey on my arm from Thing 1 and asks me what it is (this is a reoccuring thing - since she's a nurse she not infrequently comments on things about my body). I say that "ah that's just from some drunk person" and she gives me a skeptical look. "Someone bit you? It wasn't coral (sexual bite) was it?". Well shit, she just cold read me accurately. "Yea the girl was really into biting", I say nonchalantly. She smirks a little bit and starts to say how nasty it looks and I just laugh and ask her if she's into biting. She says she is.

Oddly enough, the conversation quickly became about negative sex experiences even though I was optimistic about the bite (we've both had a curable STD before from stupid decisions - though later I find she allegedly has a low lay count). Then something about how we are both agnostic - not something I'm used to talking about within the first 5 minutes of a date but I suppose she was screening me.

The bar outside clears up so I say let's move out there where it's nicer out. Once we're out there she orders her marg - and just like her texts she's a total lightweight, and she's more bubbly and jumping from topic to topic. She's really smart, and I framed myself as a wise dumb guy and both teased her and qualified her for her intelligence on a number of topics. We talked about vacations, psychology, animals in different countries, sex, astrology, and I used Chase's 3 animals gambit and she loved it. The last animal she named (the one she's supposed to be) was a weirdly obscure one, which made the whole thing really funny because she's such a goofball. I told her that I'm immune to saying what I am because I know the progression of it which builds some intrigue.

This entire time I've been building touch and got it so that my legs were on hers. She comments on this at one point about how I'm touching her and I slowly brush my finger from her mid-leg to knee and say "yea, but you like it", and she confirms she does with a laugh. Shit test.

I ask her if she's any good at pool, and that we should go to play pool somewhere else, and that this is fun. She agrees and gets up to use the bathroom. I chat with the bartender who I know there and say, "she's great", and he smiles at me saying that she's very pretty. Once she comes back I make some joke about how I'm flirting with the bartender now and he really stole my attention - and she laughs and says "but we're on a date!" and I just go "things change! You were in the bathroom!" and the absurdity of it is enjoyable, and chase frames her.

We play around a bit more because she's struggling with the chair she's on a dropped something, so I tease her about how she can't even handle one marg and is such a lightweight - and she plays back that it's cost effective. We go to the next bar and there's 3 dudes I know there. I don't introduce Pumpkin, but dap everyone up and make small talk for a minute or two. I turn back to Pumpkin and say let's get a drink over here and move her away from the guys - things were going very well and I didn't want any interference.

I tell her to go upstairs and I meet her with the pool stuff and she does. I find her there and we play pool. She sucks and I'm killing her which is easy to tease a girl about. At one point she's talking shit so I lean into her, like "oh yea?" and make it seem like I'm going to kiss her (I could tell from her smile and face that she was down) but then I pull off right before it would have been appropriate to and go back to playing.

I ask about music for a little bit to start setting up a reason to go to my house. I sink the 8 ball and she wins. We sit for another minute and then I say,
Me: Okay, let's go
Her: Go where??
Me: My house, I want to show you some music - and hear some of yours
Her: I'm a classy lady!
Me: I'm not saying you're not lol. You want to?
Her: *pause* Okay.

We start to leave the bar and right as we're walking out she asks how far I am, so that if I try to kill her she'll be able to run to her car. I laugh and say it's only a few blocks away, and she says something else about the leaving to her car thing and I just smile, ignore it, and keep walking. She follows.

We get to my house and I do the usual progression of music --> kiss --> music --> make out --> move her to bed --> get naked. There was some LMR with the getting naked thing, but I would use my leg to rub against her pussy and found her sensual areas on her neck and ear so it was just a matter of time until she would let me take things off. Her tits are so fucking big, my god. Like I said, pillows. I was able to finger her but she stopped me saying she was on her period. Normally I just push through but she had this cup-insert thing I'd never seen before so I just let it be. We hook up and spoon and she plays with my willie, and there was a lot of talking. We're both goofy people so once we're naked together it's just a lot of fun.

I know we're not fucking because of her period so I eventually drive her back to her car, and while in the car she mentions how if we had sex on the first date, even though she totally wants to, then "we have nothing to work towards", and I just smile and ask a question about the song playing to not have to deal with the boyfriend frame - even though I consider her high quality and could see myself with her.


Date At My Single

She texts me a few times over the week, I don't engage a whole lot, but when I do it's only to maintain report. The second time she texts me I set up the next date, about 4 days after we had last seen each other. She was willing to bend her schedule to whatever day I wanted, and through some of the flirty texting it was basically understood we would fuck this date.

She comes over for "wine & dinner", with some vegan dish she made. I had to push the date back because of a call with my boss, and she gets to my house right after I get clothes on - I told her if she's lucky I'll still be naked. She comes in, and I say we should sit and enjoy wine before the food. We move around my house and I pull her into me a few times to turn up the heat. Something I'm going to start doing more - just grabbing the girl and pulling her into you as you talk to her once she's at your house.

We start hooking up and it starts on the couch and before you know it we're taking our clothes off. I pick her up and start to move her to my bed (and I'm noticing how much stronger I've gotten it's kinda nuts since I'm so skinny). We accidentally knock over the wine bottle but nothing spills - it was still a mood dampener. From this point we're both standing and hooking up, and it gets really hot really fast, pushing each other on the walls and grabbing each other hard. Once we're next to my bed I tell her to get on her knees and she won't because of a rule she has against STD's. Slightly disappointing, but fair and I can respect that.

Once we're about to have sex I put a condom on and lose wood. It's the same thing that's happened with Butterfly & Catfish. When I have a really high quality girl, I get worried that I won't be able to get up, and then I don't get up - even though I'm popping fucking halfy's on the regular just talking to girls. For a moment she's worried because even though she's incredibly wet I'm not as hard as I was two seconds ago. After we try this and take a few breaks for about 20-30 minutes, I cut the shit and actually explain that this only happens with girls that I like, and she says she takes it as a compliment. Nonetheless I can tell she's disappointed.


Shit Tests

I say that instead of doing this we're gonna eat. We eat and talk and enjoy ourselves, and she shit tests the fuck out of me in the kitchen, talking about how guys try to oversell themselves on sex, and how most of them don't actually deliver. I hold my frame but she's clearly talking about me. The look in her eye is also slightly annoyed and accusative, as if I tricked her and she's analyzing my every move. This is basically her rationalizing that I'm a facade. I just say I agree there definitely are some guys that can be facades and give some specific examples to differentiate the nuances & myself from her comment.

We had talked about some of my sexual experiences and one of my stories I said an arbitrary number which wasn't consistent and she called me on it - I could tell she was starting to think that I was full of shit. I tried hard not to jump into the trap of trying to convince her otherwise, which would have been extremely unattractive and made it seem even more like I was bullshitting her with sex stories / sexual vibe. Frame is king.

We Finally Fuck

The date was going on about 2-3 hrs now, and we haven't banged. I had to take a breather in the bathroom to remind myself of what was happening - like a 10 second meditation before returning to her. We eat dinner and start hooking up again. I get wood, put on the condom, and lose it. Frustrating, but I ignore it best I can, get her on top of me and have her rub her pussy on my dick until it's hard again and she's soaking wet.

I turn her over and fuck her in adapted missionary. I bust in 5 minutes (underwhelming for how long it took lol) we have more wine and fuck again, this time I last about 30 minutes with her in cowgirl and she almost comes (apparently it's very hard for her to orgasm). We talk some more and I find out she was only just recently in a 5 year relationship, and we talk about relationships.

I let her stay the night and we fuck twice in the morning - this time I'm fully ready to go and last about 20 minutes both times. The last fuck was actually quite passionate. I offered to make her breakfast but she's vegan so I didn't have a whole lot to offer. I give her a passionate kiss and let her walk to her car. She texted me today and I replied.

Conclusion
This might frame create the boyfriend frame, but honestly, I wouldn't mind. Or at least a more-than-FB's relationship, she's just smart, professionally oriented, respectful, hot, and experienced.. good in bed too. She says she sucks great dick but I can't know for sure until her lips are on my cock lol. She's also on two forms of birth control so once she trusts me enough to fuck her raw that would be very fun. Although, I think she likes me more than I like her - but hey that could change. She also thinks I'm extremely attractive and asked me "what is it like" to be this good looking being totally serious. Lol what a compliment.

To be honest, this didn't feel like work other than overcoming my performance anxiety and the shit tests that followed. We just clicked almost immediately, and the rest was logistics, overcoming a few shit tests, being flirty and fun, and basically good enough fundamentals in being sexy. One of my goals this year was to pull a girlfriend quality chick, and as far as I'm concerned I have.

Most all my friends tell me that they think it would really "help me" to get a girlfriend. Part of me wants to, but I'm also seeing better results than I ever have as far as quality of chicks & momentum. There is also the reputation thing to worry about, as I'm starting to get dirty looks at some of the bars from bartenders. I could just approach that from trying to further befriend them though. I wouldn't really care but eventually I would start getting negative returns or potentially dangerous rumors as Hector as warned about in his book. He also wrote that getting a girlfriend resets reputation. Might make a post in General about things to consider before trying to make a girl your girlfriend, assuming that Pumpkin is on the same page as me (though I'm almost positive she is).

I feel as though I've internalized a lot on GC - but there's always room for improvement.

Cheers.

Hue
 

Ambiance

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 8, 2015
Messages
508
Hey very nice LR Hue. Let me tell you though, you should definitely commit to this girl ASAP. Forget about all the other girls out there and show this girl that you're a guy she can trust. Then let yourselves both be swept up in true love forever and ever. You won't regret it, and this girl shows she's quality since she was in a 5 year relationship. But more importantly, don't have sex with any other girls. Or even approach them. They wouldn't be able to handle you and you'd probably just break their poor hearts (and I can't believe im even saying this but of course this definitely has nothing to do with the snatch tourney we are both in rn;);) Just forget about seduction and GC, all thats chasing girls stuff is immature anyway;);)

That aside, this girl does seem pretty nice. My imagination is whirring about her "pillows".

I've dealt with getting soft with girls. Very annoying. I once had this do or die moment with this girl I was crazy about, and I had worked my tail off to get her in bed again, and I couldn't get hard. Still ad about that. There's a Chase article about beating performance anxiety that I found very helpful. I'm sure you've read it, but if that was awhile ago I'd recommend rereading it.

You could have gotten with her when she was on her period. This might have helped get around the performance anxiety, but maybe not. I'm guessing she is inexperienced/traditional/likes you quite a bit, which definitely helped in getting her out again. You know how "failed escalations" go...

All's well that ends well though. Probably a good move letting her stay the night; sounds like a fun morning.

Looking forward to seeing how things go with this girl.

I'm gonna have to get into swing dancing.

Ambiance
 

sneaky_charm

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 9, 2013
Messages
311
Hey Hue,

It was an awesome read. Seems like you're quite into the music and dance scene. :)

So what qualities do you specifically screen for in a girlfriend?

Also, how often do you meet a girl like that?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Hue

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 21, 2016
Messages
1,556
Ambiance,

Well we are married now (I know only a month later but trust me she's the one) and I've already cheated on her multiple times - so things are going pretty well. Thanks for the advice brehhh!

I partly think that not having sex on the first date and me being cool with it as I was helped me a lot in the long run - as after talking about some of her sexual encounters she told me how she's hooked up with guys who she stopped seeing after they handled it in an immature way. Though you're right, I suppose some tighter game could have allowed me to part the red seas once again.

Other than the fact she opened me I would say she's experienced but a bit more on the traditional/conservative side.

I'm gonna have to get into swing dancing.
Try to keep up ;P



sneaky,

Seems like you're quite into the music and dance scene.
You could say I dabble(;

So what qualities do you specifically screen for in a girlfriend?
I've never written it out, but doing so off the top of my head might be a good exercise.

I would say..
- low-medium partner count (5-10)
- outgoing / professionally motivated
- intelligent / witty
- highly empathetic
- isn't in the drinking party scene (hypocritical of me, I know. it's more of the attitudes of many girls in this scene than it is the risk of cheating, though)
- good at sex / awesome pussy
- regularly exercises

And rather than use specific screening "tools" for girls I would just try to pick up on it implicitly from talking with her or making mental notes of she says something within these dimensions that either earns her "points" or is incongruent with something else she said. Though I'm sure there's technical game you could find to reveal these things beyond deep dives / getting to know her normally.

Also, how often do you meet a girl like that?
Not often. Usually I might find a girl where we are both equally excited at this new, fun opportunity we're presenting to eachother, but this was instant chemistry. A bit different. She said she recently found someone else but had said multiple times that she thinks we're compatible, I just didn't invest enough whereas whoever she's fucking at this current moment did. I think she'll be back though (;


Hue
 

sneaky_charm

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 9, 2013
Messages
311
I would say..
- low-medium partner count (5-10)
- outgoing / professionally motivated
- intelligent / witty
- highly empathetic
- isn't in the drinking party scene (hypocritical of me, I know. it's more of the attitudes of many girls in this scene than it is the risk of cheating, though)
- good at sex / awesome pussy
- regularly exercises

And rather than use specific screening "tools" for girls I would just try to pick up on it implicitly from talking with her or making mental notes of she says something within these dimensions that either earns her "points" or is incongruent with something else she said. Though I'm sure there's technical game you could find to reveal these things beyond deep dives / getting to know her normally.

Oh okay, got it. I'm currently building my list in a word document lol. And about the awesome pussy thing, ugly pussy repulses me it seems, but I hadn't thought of it consciously to make it a screening quality.

I just didn't invest enough whereas whoever she's fucking at this current moment did. I think she'll be back though (;

I hope she does. Keep pimping! ;)
 
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