FR Swiss traveler- Failed pull

[Gamenoob92]

Went on a date with this Swiss girl who I met through daygame on Sunday. She was not that good looking and she had spent the day roaming the city, so she was not decked up for the date. It killed my motivation right off the bat as I was not feeling very attracted to her. Took her to the first bar and after the first drink I was bored and even thought of ditching her and maybe going out and doing more approaches, then I thought what the heck I am here let me push it and learn a few things regardless.

After I went back, I changed locations in the bar, became more animated in the conversation, teased her, disagreed with her and did a few cold reads and some roleplay scenarios. I could visibly see her body language change, she became more girly, let her hair down and started twirling her hair. I knew she was now engaged and in one of the roleplay scenarios I was supposed to be the vampire and her my victim. This kind of stuck with her and she spoke a lot about being bitten by me on her neck. I joked saying that was what I was going to do in the dark alley which we have to cross to get to the second bar. She laughed and played along.

While walking to the second venue, I tried to escalate continuing the vampire scenario but I found her pulling back when I touched her near the back of her neck or her hair whereas she was okay with arms and hands. In the second venue we sat next to each other and I began to increase the escalation and soon she mentioned she had a boyfriend. I just rolled with it and continued what I was doing unaffected. Flirting was good but any attempt to even touch her legs or anything a bit more sexual than hands was met with resistance.

Finally, I said I am hungry and I have pasta at home and that we can go eat. She was reluctant but asked whether we are just going to eat and I said lets eat and then see. She replied with does that mean eating like friends and nothing else and I again said lets eat and see what happens don't overthink it. She again said I will come only if you promise me that we are going to be just friends eating dinner and at this point I felt like this was not going to happen and also that this girl was not that cute and I did not want to waste more time on her. I just said I cannot promise that, lets see what happens. At this point she refused and said she wanted to go back to her hostel and I just walked her to the tram and bid goodbye to her.

Would love to know where I could improve.

 

[JacobPalmer]

So the roleplay and teasing, solid work, sounds like she really enjoyed that. One thing to note here though is the touching, almost sounds like you didn't quite "read the room." She wasn't into the neck touching, so you need to back up and stick with the arms/hands etc more, not move onto legs. You tried to jump steps, and she wasn't into it. Read the room.

Finally, I said I am hungry and I have pasta at home and that we can go eat. She was reluctant but asked whether we are just going to eat and I said lets eat and then see. She replied with does that mean eating like friends and nothing else and I again said lets eat and see what happens don't overthink it. She again said I will come only if you promise me that we are going to be just friends eating dinner and at this point I felt like this was not going to happen and also that this girl was not that cute and I did not want to waste more time on her. I just said I cannot promise that, lets see what happens. At this point she refused and said she wanted to go back to her hostel and I just walked her to the tram and bid goodbye to her.

You gave her some plausible deniability which was good. But then you tried to act all "sly/mysterious" and it came across as weird (no offense). What's happening here is that she is raising an objection, but you didn't deal with it. You just tried to side step it without confronting it directly. Think of it like this. You're buying a car, but you're not quite ready to buy yet. You get to the point where the sale is close but you're a bit unsure, you still like your own car. The salesman says - "Let's go inside and take a look at some more of the features." and you go "Ok...but only as long as you don't try and force me to buy anything." And then he says, "Let's go inside and we'll see" and "Let's go and see what happens don't overthink it" and "I can't promise that, let's see what happens."

Same scenario.

What you should have said was something more like, "I promise "

Then if she still objects, "Look, I think you're cute, and we're going to eat something delicious, and nothing is going to happen if you don't want it to. Sound good?"

Hope this helps

 

[Gamenoob92]

So the roleplay and teasing, solid work, sounds like she really enjoyed that. One thing to note here though is the touching, almost sounds like you didn't quite "read the room." She wasn't into the neck touching, so you need to back up and stick with the arms/hands etc more, not move onto legs. You tried to jump steps, and she wasn't into it. Read the room.



You gave her some plausible deniability which was good. But then you tried to act all "sly/mysterious" and it came across as weird (no offense). What's happening here is that she is raising an objection, but you didn't deal with it. You just tried to side step it without confronting it directly. Think of it like this. You're buying a car, but you're not quite ready to buy yet. You get to the point where the sale is close but you're a bit unsure, you still like your own car. The salesman says - "Let's go inside and take a look at some more of the features." and you go "Ok...but only as long as you don't try and force me to buy anything." And then he says, "Let's go inside and we'll see" and "Let's go and see what happens don't overthink it" and "I can't promise that, let's see what happens."

Same scenario.

What you should have said was something more like, "I promise "

Then if she still objects, "Look, I think you're cute, and we're going to eat something delicious, and nothing is going to happen if you don't want it to. Sound good?"

Hope this helps

Thanks a lot for your feedback. I see it now. I should have played it like you described. I had met this girl from a direct daygame approach where my line literally was "I saw you and thought you looked pretty and I wanted to come say hi to you". And it was apparent I was hitting on her. So I got a bit pissed off that she never mentioned a boyfriend till after 2 and a half hours on the date and then started talking about her bf quite a bit. So I think I got annoyed and went for the are doing this or not kind of mindset and fucked it up. Should have kept my composure and continued and got her back to my place.

But anyways, a learning experience and thanks for your insights