Taking care not to get into an LTR

[girlsfollow]

I am seeing two girls regularly (although one is currently away on holiday) and I can tell - slightly worryingly - that they both are going to want a relationship.... it seems like most girls will want this at some point - I find it difficult to bring up the idea of keeping it casual (both now and at the start) because I can tell they would take it badly (I implied to another that I didn't want anything serious - it upset her and made her not want to see me any more - a real shame she was really sweet and I liked her). A final Idea from chase I can remember is to not see them more than once a week - I can see this would probably work but then if she is asking to come over it seems mean to say no and its nice to see them - maybe this is just a sacrifice we need to make?

I have a problem with bringing up the concept of what is essentially FWB (I realise you can change the wording but many girls obviously will see through that I feel) since I always get the feeling that the girls will see it as "slutty/wrong" (I think these are internal frames which can't simply be framed out)- I think this probably has to do with the types of girls I have been hanging out with - maybe I need to focus on more open minded girls for the pursuit of developing these arts? I'm having a difficulty finding them though - probably need to diversify my gaming spots....?

Finally having two girls around/calling (so they don't feel neglected - one has told me she wants more contact, the other probably does too) a lot takes up a lot of time from going out - together with intense work at the moment I've not been out properly without them or started seeing any new girls in almost 2 weeks. I can tell these two are just not the level I want - and based on some past success I believe better "quality" is possible, but i'm not seeing any at the moment - for this reason.....I can feel the abundance mentality starting to show signs of fading

 

[Estate]

Chase has some good articles and advice on this so there's lots to digest.

My own personal feelings and experience with this is that it can be slightly complicated.
To really best thing to do is be up front about it. Then there are no hard feelings or complications, but I'll admit it's not always easy to bring it up.
To a certain degree your actions and level of communication with them can let them figure it out a lot.
i.e. if you want it to be casual, you have to make it casual, constant texting or seeing them often isn't going to help your cause, you need to be unavailable and aloof.

What I have found is that a lot more girls are open to this than actually appear to be at first. Girls will naturally head down a relationship route as things progress and you keep seeing each other... but they often tend to keep their options open too. Notice how girls tend to rebound fast after breaking up with a guy? They kept their options open even if only really seeing or committing to one guy.
Girls won't initiate any sort of FWB. They are often open to it if it goes that way but won't openly seek it or be the one to lead things down that route.

Beyond that though, I feel it must be said. Not everyone is open to this sort of setup. If this is what you want then abundance is really what you want. If she is at a place where she is really looking for a relationship then there will be a cutoff aft some point. A FWB or casual setup isn't going to last forever so on your part thats why you'd need to be ACTUALLY seeing other guys if you are not committing. The mistake guys make is "not comitting" but also not actively seeing/meeting other girls... so there is a sort of conflict... you don't want to commit, but you also don't want to lose her.
You have to be willing to lose her. You will lose girls by angling for this setup while others will be open... Personally some ethics come into it. I just don't feel good leading a girl on if I know I won't commit to anything but she very much wants to. Everyone needs to decide their own boundaries on this one I think.

 

[Tyme2k]

Remember no matter what you HAVE abundance, it is and will always be around you even if you have zero FWB's.

I have recently been "roped" into an exclusive relationship cutting off 3 FB's in the process. One of which is slightly depressing as she let's me do ANYTHING to her with an amazing body and sex drive at only 21 years old. Biggest flaw with her is no intellectual stimulation. I say roped in quotes, because I want to be with this woman, I feel her value and the time we spend together is worth only sleeping with her. I will continue to game and learn the process minus the pull/close and I don't see anything wrong with this.

I know that everything is temporary and we should experience what we have for all it has to offer. We shouldn't pass up great memories and experiences because we chose a path to learn the "arts." If you really like these girls you will do one of three things; turn your favorite exclusive, man up and tell them you want to sleep with other girls, or cut them off and find new higher quality women.

I finally ended up breaking my frame with this woman after almost 2 months of back and forth frame battles. Eventually I could see it pained her so much to think I was sleeping with other girls that I decided my goal wasn't to hurt her and my selfish wants weren't ready to give her up. I suggest you try to secure the FWB knowingly amongst them, if they cant handle it then decide your next move. The 21 yr old FB I cut off was ok with me hooking up with other girls, she also agreed to only sleep with me...

You won't know unless you push for it, stay confident and show that in your frame there's nothing wrong. Girls will follow.

 

[girlsfollow]

update on the closer girl

Been seeing this girl for about two months now - took ages to close, now finally the sex is picking up and she's relaxing. I had initially planned to go on a weekend trip with her to get her out of work mode and make her open up - I'm sure this would have worked so we were planning on doing it for sure.....

- but now I've managed to seal the deal without it I almost have the opposite problem, I stayed at her place after a night out and she is still with her parents so I met them...

- I am a little worried this will send too many relationship signals - I plan to make it a single night away at a shorter distance - I think this can still workout as a sexual getaway.

any thoughts - it is a little late to backout now since I had been encouraging it for a while

 

[Franco]

GF,

If it were me, I would avoid any type of "vacation-ish" or "let's get away from here" type of stuff if you're looking to just keep it casual. The only time I take my "casual girlfriends" out is when we go to a restaurant or food court for lunch/dinner. Then we always head back to my place or her place for sex.

If you do anything more extravagant then that, then you run the risk of sending mixed signals.

- Franco

 

[girlsfollow]

GF,

If it were me, I would avoid any type of "vacation-ish" or "let's get away from here" type of stuff if you're looking to just keep it casual. The only time I take my "casual girlfriends" out is when we go to a restaurant or food court for lunch/dinner. Then we always head back to my place or her place for sex.

If you do anything more extravagant then that, then you run the risk of sending mixed signals.

- Franco

Quite right, appreciate your input as always Franco. I didn't go in the end - but she has a holiday soon - expects to do something - will probably avoid it.