Tale of 2 girls... Difference between persistence & chasing

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
567
Full disclaimer this is loosely inspired by Chase's old but gold post on persistence with add-on's from my specific situation. If you have time, read that first.

Very recently I was talking to 2 different girls who I had to "persist" with and who were not immediately green lights. A.K.A I had to double text occasionally or always push to meet up while they gave me minimal investment back. I got both their numbers in real life not online but one of them I slept with on our 3rd date while the other broke things off on the 3rd. This inspired me to write a post on the subtle nuances when persisting with girls and how to do it right but also know when to cut your losses.

1. Have the right mentality

For guys new to game I would recommend you not even bother with "persisting". You won't have enough experience to realise whether a situation has potential or a girl is stringing you along for the attention. Bed a load of yes girls then you'll subconsciously know what to look for instead of wasting your time.

With that said mentality also relates to "abundance" very woo woo word but it's so important. You want girls to feel that you're a guy who's excited by life, is going places and quite frankly someone who won't be effected whether she joins you on the adventure or not. In short she needs to feel that you want her but don't need her

You can build the right mentality by:

  • Pushing yourself in your day job rather than coasting by
  • Working on your own business in the evenings and weekends
  • Going to the gym to build your physique and taking nutrition seriously
  • Exploring your local city and knowing all the cool places (girls love this)
  • Regularly doing an activity you love e.g. sports, music, volunteering, even just going out drinking and meeting new people but it's better to have some depth
  • Sleeping with other girls so that you know you'll be fine sexually either way

2. Play the long game with communication

This is where the more advanced "game" comes in and is something a year ago I wouldn't of bothered with. When texting you should always aim to write half of what the girl sends you. This is for 2 reasons. 1) You want her to feel like she's investing a lot in you and 2) It means you can double text at a later date and NOT look needy.

I'm very particular about this. I even draft messages to myself in whatsapp so I see how it appears before I send it to the girl. It sounds weird lol but it's kept girls live for longer than I would have without it. After a while though you get a feel for what works. It's a fine art between not writing much but still not appearing try hard or blunt so that she still writes a lot back to you. Open ended questions, "&" instead of "and" as well as emojis are your best friend here.

Special shout out to @Skills texting post here which shows how sometimes you're better of building rapport / investment before you ask her out.


3. Be very aware of your investment in her and see if she matches it

One of my biggest epiphanies in game is realising that people like you based on what they do for you not what you do for them.

As men we have to make the first move and lead the interaction but you need to pay close attention to how the girl is acting towards you.

For example with girl 1 after our first date she began replying within a few hours rather than days. Her investment level increased after she met me. The other girl was always taking a day or 2 with mostly blunt texts even after coming out on a date where she was super flirty and complimentary. It was just girl game probably to string me along so when in doubt:

Look at what a girl does not what she says

You can also take this a step further and make simple requests a.k.a tests and see if she does it E.g. I asked girl 2 for a picture from our night out and she never sent it over. It seems small but I should of taken that as a sign to step back because if she's slow to text and can't carry out simple requests... Why would she come to mine and sleep with me?

Persisting is fine however at a certain point you have to pause and see if she makes the effort back. If she doesn't move on.


4. Have clear rules and boundaries (super important)

For me personally I won't go on over 5 dates without sleeping with a girl. This has only happened once, I usually cut it off by x3 and in that instance I only stuck around because her head was 10/10 lol otherwise she can meet up with another guy. Hell I think I read somewhere that gunwich doesn't bother with anything more than same day lays ahahah what a boss.

I also won't ask a girl to meet up with me more than twice unless I have a serious reason to consider otherwise.

Having these rules or similar acts as a circuit breaker to cut things off when they're going no where but your emotional mind thinks they have a chance.

Hopefully this saves a guy out there precious time!
 

Derek da man

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
285
people like you based on what they do for you not what you do for them.
I'd never thought of it that way round - I think you're right

Look at what a girl does not what she says
I'm very conscious of this - similarly just because she gives you a beautiful $1,000,000 smile it is still her actions that you need to watch.

Good post - thanks
 
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