Technique to have a girl be more open on a date?

[moom]

Got a girl put on a date yesterday from cold approach. She was there but instantly from the beginning had closed off body language, legs crossed and body turned away.

She was compliant, touched her tattoos and rings, etc. She also moved around the bar with me. But her body language was closed off the entire time and it threw me off.

Lately I’ve been having having challenges trying to sexually escalate but its been something I’ve been working towards. However, it feels super awkward trying to escelate when her body is turned away and legs crossed. At even one point in the date i said “let me show you something, turn your body towards me”- and she did briefly until i showed her what I wanted to show her, then turned her body away again.

Any tips or techniques to have her loosen up her body language and face towards me on a date?

 

[Vision]

Sure... here are some ideas that you could try...

1. You can point it out and make her self-conscious about it.

"Are you cold right now? I noticed you have your arms crossed and I wasn't sure if you were cold or just being shy."

You could follow that up with a warm read... "I think you're the type of girl who is a bit hesitant when you first meet someone new but as you get to know them, feel more relaxed and comfortable, you really open up."

I'm just making that warm read up. You'd need to do something that was relevant to her and what rings true to you about her.

2. You can frame open body language as being more attractive to you.

"Do you know what's really attractive(sexy/hot)? When I'm with someone and we're really getting into a conversation with each other... we're both leaning forward, excited about the conversation. I just love when that happens."

If she likes you and wants to be attractive to you, this will make her start thinking about her own body language and whether she's doing this with you or not.

I don't know that I've ever actually done this around body language before but the general structure of framing something as being attractive works, so I thought I'd throw this in there as something you could test.

3. You can do things with her that make her open up like dancing, walking, controlling her body through touch, etc.

I think this is self-explanatory.

4. You can pace and lead her.

If you're not familiar with this terminology, it's when you mirror their body language (ie, do the same thing they are). Then once you're in rapport with them, you start leading them to the body language that you want them to have and they just start following you.

I'm sure there are a lot of YT videos on this if you need more in depth information on it.

5. You can do a combination of the above.

Doing more than one of them is better than just doing one of them.

6. You can ignore it and work on your own comfort without needing her to open up.

Ultimately, if she doesn't open up, it isn't necessarily a bad thing... she might still like you, want to be with you, etc. So you don't necessarily need to get wrapped up in making her open up her body language to you.

It's better to be comfortable and stop letting it throw you off than trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to do in the moment.

 

[Regal Tiger]

I think Vision had a lotta good stuff on there, but one more thing that I'll add:

Could be she was just horny and waiting for you to pull the trigger. If she was extremely compliant then she could have been frustrated. Not saying that this is always the case, but I have been fooled before lol.

 

[Tr1cky]

Vision has some good ideas if you want to go after this problem in a head-on manner.

personally I think this is a situation where you shouldn’t confront it directly because it’s more a symptom than a problem itself.

her body language is closed off because that’s how she feels inside. She’s feeling shut down, restricted, not loose, etc. Running a pattern about how you like open girls likely isn’t going to loosen her up.

instead you should be focusing on topics that’s going to bring her mind back to moments she feels carefree, open, willing to try new things.

Aka emotional stimulation right out of gunwitch method.

that’s not to say a well placed “I like girls who are open and adventurous” isn’t going to help but that’s really after she wants your approval. When they’re closed down they likely don’t want your approval, yet.

 

[moom]

All really great answers- especially yours @Vision. Super detailed and full of tactical advice.

She was definitely closed up from shyness and nervousness. I even asked her middate; “is that why you’re so nervous?” and she said yeah, she’s not used to people even approaching her lol. Was focusing hard on comfort. I didn’t get laid, suoer tricky logistics with her being from out of town and staying at a friends with time constraints.

But the advice here is solid, thank you guys.