Texting AMA Thread

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Hey boys,

Since I got rid of the What She Really Meant instagram, one of our older members, Big Daddy, advised that I start a thread here along the same lines. I had one of these back in the day during college, but wanted to make another one. This thread is only for texting tips.

Also, still feel free to send me screenshots to the @girlschase Instagram where I'll do videos on ones I want to focus on and I'll usually give personal advice if you send me screenshots.

Just give me enough background so I can understand your relationship with her (or lack thereof) and then I'll respond to the technical stuff.

Here's Big Daddy's submission to give you an example.

The background is he fucked this chick two weeks ago and he was going to pick her up after her last class at school.

Me - finished already?

Her - Hey, I'm not in [college]
Her - I had an exam today so I left early
Her - Did you cancel something for us to see each other?

(Yes, but didn't want to look like a little bitch)

Me - (voice message -- I was driving) Well, not really. I got stuck in traffic so I couldn't do what I had to do today and was going to pick her up (I did tell before I was doing something else that day)

Her - (voice message) I came to a friend's place... I'm actually stuck in traffic, why don't we schedule something for another day?

He got mad at her and even though she continued talking to him and seemed to want to make up for it, and even asked him if he was mad, he stopped texting her, since he WAS mad at her flaking. However, he told her that he wasn't (though I could really use those texts).

My Response:

I've been here. You REALLY want some pussy and then she plays games - you get mad.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

If you've fucked a girl, you can get away with behaviors you normally couldn't. Her asking if you were mad, Biggie, was a test and I think you should have indeed told her it pissed you off. I would understand if she canceled a few hours before or even the day before but you were on your way. That's super disrespectful of her to not tell you she canceled.

So,

Her - Are you mad at me?

Me - Yes, but because you didn't tell me you left already so I drove to the school for no reason. I wouldn't waste your time if I wasn't at the place I said I would be, so don't do the same to me.

You're telling her that her behavior is disrespectful. You're not upset about not seeing her, you're upset about disrespect.

There is a time and place to be mad and it can turn girls on. Women LIKE passion. There are also times to be unfazed. This was not one of them. Do not be drawn into the advice of many in this field of always remaining calm - you can lose a lot of girls through lack of passion. Learn when to be zen and when not to be.

When she said

Her - Did you cancel something for us to see each other?

My immediate thought is she's being a cunt. It's like she's almost hoping you did so she can play with you. If someone has to ask that, they're either not very socially aware or they're trying to see how much you invested in seeing her. It COULD be her wanting to know if she fucked up, but it's a weird text.

Considering Biggie and her fucked, she's now scoping out a potential relationship and getting investment is the best way for women to know how much they should invest themselves.

Going cold on her was a good call, but lying about your feelings towards her very rude flake is different. However, you should also have confirmed the pickup and avoided this.

"Hey, I'll head out in 20 minutes."

Then she can say, "Hey, I actually left early."

And you say "Oh okay cool."

Also, this was the second time she'd flaked since they fucked. Don't get mad in general yet, but def a bit miffed about the way she flaked.

Now, wait like a week or two to set up another date. If she flakes the third time, tell her, "Okay, that's the third time you've flaked. That's fine, but I won't keep chasing after ya, so if you want to see each other, let me know and you can set it up."

Hector

 

[trashKENNUT]

Hector,

If you start a ask.fm or Quora, i am sure i will follow. Instagram is kind of like fast game and Girlschase board, feels the need to be on desktop mode. You get what i am trying to reach. What is your thoughts.

Zac

 

[Big Daddy]

Glad you liked the idea! It's great that we can have a centralized database for shit like this.

Her - Are you mad at me?

Me - Yes, but because you didn't tell me you left already so I drove to the school for no reason. I wouldn't waste your time if I wasn't at the place I said I would be, so don't do the same to me.

You're telling her that her behavior is disrespectful. You're not upset about not seeing her, you're upset about disrespect.

Oh, this is a great response. A subtle change in the angle, but totally makes sense. I feel much better just imagining myself having said that. It makes sense -- if it was another woman that I wasn't afraid of saying how I felt to her face e.g. a cousin, I would act like that no doubt.

I guess I'm a little worried that I'm going to come off as too strong for someone who isn't terribly invested in me yet. But paradoxically it seems it might increase the lifespan of the relationship if delivered from the right place.

However, you should also have confirmed the pickup and avoided this.

Yeah, I'll have to turn this into a staple. Since we didn't meet last week, I wanted to fuck her asap to cement the FWB status, but my logistics were horrible and it'd have to be in my car. I didn't want her thinking I'd pick her up and drive her home every time so I told her I'd be nearby and could pick her up, which wasn't absolutely true.

Either way, it's disrespectful. She could've very well texted me -- I estimate she had left like an hour before.

Now, wait like a week or two to set up another date

Last question: how do you word repeated invitations if you want to establish an FWB relationship? It's not explicit, but she ended a very long LTR and is not thinking about a bf rn; hinted a FWB for months. Ideally, I want to keep her for a few months.

Last time I invited her over straight to my place and she said okay (even though it ended up not happening), but I feel she's going to protest if I keep doing it. Especially because I don't have great excuses: can't have her over to cook, for example, whenever I please (have to be discreet). And also, I don't have a TV in the room for movies and shit haha I should probably fix that. But how do I maintain it strictly about sex without auto-rejecting her?

 

[Sub-Zero]

What do you do with girls that constantly flake the day of or day before a date?


I cut them off every time they cancel on me, but I never hear from them again, I don't try to ask for another date because it feels weak, and I doubt they would care about some stranger asking them out again. So I'm lost on what to do, do I keep cutting women off, or do I try to ask out again ? I dont know how long to wait for to ask again or how to make it look non needy.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

What do you do with girls that constantly flake the day of or day before a date?


I cut them off every time they cancel on me, but I never hear from them again, I don't try to ask for another date because it feels weak, and I doubt they would care about some stranger asking them out again. So I'm lost on what to do, do I keep cutting women off, or do I try to ask out again ? I dont know how long to wait for to ask again or how to make it look non needy.

This is a text thread. Post texts first as an example.

I guess I'm a little worried that I'm going to come off as too strong for someone who isn't terribly invested in me yet.

If you two hadn't had sex yet, I'd say you were right, but since you've crossed that road, I'd say you're okay with it. Again, it's only because of the way she flaked.

Last question: how do you word repeated invitations if you want to establish an FWB relationship? It's not explicit, but she ended a very long LTR and is not thinking about a bf rn; hinted a FWB for months. Ideally, I want to keep her for a few months.

Repeated attempts does signify long-term interest, but doesn't necessarily lead there.

Seeing her for coffee/ice-cream should only be done if she needs the attainability. If not, invite straight to houses only.

Hector

 

[Sub-Zero]

Example 1:

Bitch 1: When are we gonna go on our date?

Sz: Tomorrow night around 6

B1: ok

Next day at 2 pm

B1: I have to get up for work early in the morning at 5

(I had work to do, do I really couldn't change the time)

Sz: OK let's go at 4

B1: no response

Next day

B1: sorry went to sleep

Sz: I knew you had to wake up early, it's cool.

I was annoyed by this shit, never heard from her again and didn't know how to ask for another date without looking needy and getting another flake.

Example 2:

Sz: Hey bitch 2, how is your week looking ?

B2: I'm free Sunday ?

Sz: want to go grab some ice cream or something ?

B2: definitely

Sunday

Sz: we still good for today ?

B2: sorry I gotta study for finals, I'll let you know when I'm free.

(Fuckin bitch)

Example 3:

Already said yes to the date. Texted a girl then got her on the phone to confirm.

She flakes on the phone again saying she has to do something with a family member.

Example 4:

Sz: hey this is sz, it was nice meeting you.

Bitch: no reply.


As you can see its hard not to strangle these bitches out here. All they do is Fuckin flake.

What do you do with girls that constantly flake the day of or day before a date?


I cut them off every time they cancel on me, but I never hear from them again, I don't try to ask for another date because it feels weak, and I doubt they would care about some stranger asking them out again. So I'm lost on what to do, do I keep cutting women off, or do I try to ask out again ? I dont know how long to wait for to ask again or how to make it look non needy.

This is a text thread. Post texts first as an example.

Hector

 

[Big Daddy]

@Hec

Thanks, bud. I ended up fucking her again, I don't think I'll have too many problems setting up future sex.

But another one for me. The problem: I don't know how far to go when getting compliance through text. I used to go too fuckboy and make stupid remarks, then too friendly and still get flakes, so now I'm trying to find the middle ground that communicates preselection, but warmly.

Context: This girl was testing me heavily, saying I could be a psychopath. She seemed genuinely worried, so I built a little bit of comfort over text then we agreed on a date. She flaked. I rescheduled two more times, as she seemed quite engaged, but she flaked again.

I sent her your "Okay, that's the third time you've flaked. That's fine, but I won't keep chasing after ya, so if you want to see each other, let me know and you can set it up." text, which is perfect, by the way. I felt instantly relieved that I no longer needed to care about her.

Now the meaty stuff. Two weeks later she texts me, out of the blue:

Her - Do you have tattoos?

[1] I'm thinking she obviously wants the D to text me 11 days later with no context. I'm not sure if I should wait for an explicit invitation or if this is her invitation and I should ask her out again. I'm not sure, so I want to be warm, but not too much.

Me - nope

[2] 4 hours later, I'm thinking I may have been too much of a dick. I figure it's worth to double text and get some attainability back in case I had fucked up.

Me - you?

Her - If I have tattoos?

Me - yup

Her - None as well

Her (5 hours later) - Can you send me a picture?

[3] Here we go. She either wants investment, nudes, to get more comfortable before meeting or just is trying to create an excuse to ask me out. I play along, but demand investment.

Me - okay, but it's good etiquette to offer something before asking for it in return

Her - I'll send after you

Me - erm, no? you're the one who asked for it

Her - After you
Her - Come on
Her - Please

I said I'd do, but only after her. Not bending again here. This happens often with different girls and is starting to piss me off -- I get a clear IOI, poke it to see what I got, and get more friction than what I'd expect after her first IOI. It frustrates me a little bit...

If I ask her out, she's gonna flake, given her resistance now. She obviously wants something by texting me 11 days later after that ultimatum text. Part of me believes she needs more comfort, and I should make this easy and just send the picture. But my default is saying no. Fuck you. You wasted my time, now you work for it, bitch.

I'm always torn between being the macho guy demanding respect and the warm and understanding guy. I don't know where exactly is the middle ground of that.