Texting woes

[ShioriGC]

Long story short I got a sweet date with this girl.
We had a long date (6 hours) but i didn't end it with a proper kiss (i feel terrible)
She texted me the next morning saying she had a good time

I texted her asking if she wanted to hang out the next day (bad idea i know) she responded shes been feeling sick
I said i hope she gets better, i texted her something like "are you feeling better? could you show me one of your paintings?" on saturday - no reply
Its now monday and I want to ask her out again, should I do it tuesday or after her day off? (she is only available mon, tues, and thurs, due to her work schedule)

was spamming chase articles and was thinking something like this : "Hi XX, I hope you had a great weekend despite the weather! If you still want to do mini-golf someday, please let me know your plans )"

im actually in pain here guys

 

[HoofHearted]

Here's what I would do here...

Start meeting and interacting with other girls ASAP. There's too much focus on just this one girl, and it seems to not be going efficiently.

Having said that, the sense I get from knowing nothing at all about your shit or what happened or making shit up...

It's not looking good, but it's not all the way done. Like in a videogame, you still have hitpoints left, but you're in the red. Most likely you will lose this battle, is my hunch.

They give you second chances if they like you a lot, or the benefit of the doubt, but eventually girls will get tired of ANY guy doing this.

I like the idea of the soft close here, I think you can find it around here somewhere. Using the soft close, you can test her waters until time to get her out again. I would be in a hurry to try this idea.

Really, though, I would be making sure I had other girls/leads lined up. This one isn't the same good quality as you started with. Curious to see what others more knowledgeable about fixing things have to say, but really I love a good restart with another girl and keeping this one as a longshot.

 

[Will_V]

Long story short I got a sweet date with this girl.
We had a long date (6 hours) but i didn't end it with a proper kiss (i feel terrible)

1. 6 hours is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long
2. Kissing on dates is at best unnecessary and at worst bursts the bubble

Keep it much shorter (an hour or so), escalate with touch/flirting, invite her home.

She texted me the next morning saying she had a good time

I texted her asking if she wanted to hang out the next day (bad idea i know) she responded shes been feeling sick

After seeing how you will hang with her for 6 hours for nothing she's likely not terribly excited anymore. It's unlikely (but possible) that she happened to get sick from one day to the next, so it's probably her trying to let you down lightly.

I said i hope she gets better, i texted her something like "are you feeling better? could you show me one of your paintings?" on saturday - no reply

Yeah she was probably hoping you'd get the message from her last text.

Its now monday and I want to ask her out again, should I do it tuesday or after her day off? (she is only available mon, tues, and thurs, due to her work schedule)

Forget about getting her on a date, first you need to have a good back and forth on text. She has to be interested in you (certainly enough to reply) before she'll think about going out again and risking 6 hours of waiting for a dude to push things forward.

was spamming chase articles and was thinking something like this : "Hi XX, I hope you had a great weekend despite the weather! If you still want to do mini-golf someday, please let me know your plans )"

im actually in pain here guys

Why are you in pain? Pain is 6 hours of sitting with a chick not making any moves.

You can't be needy here. It's probably toast already and if you can't accept that and be prepared to let things go it will turn into charcoal. No doubt she already got a lot of needy vibes from you so any hint of chasing is going to make things even worse.

You have to be chill, banter and be engaging on text, and if she's re-engaged well at some point soft-close again. But realistically she's probably already made up her mind, so get ready to go meet some other girls.

 

[ShioriGC]

1. 6 hours is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long
2. Kissing on dates is at best unnecessary and at worst bursts the bubble

Keep it much shorter (an hour or so), escalate with touch/flirting, invite her home.



After seeing how you will hang with her for 6 hours for nothing she's likely not terribly excited anymore. It's unlikely (but possible) that she happened to get sick from one day to the next, so it's probably her trying to let you down lightly.



Yeah she was probably hoping you'd get the message from her last text.



Forget about getting her on a date, first you need to have a good back and forth on text. She has to be interested in you (certainly enough to reply) before she'll think about going out again and risking 6 hours of waiting for a dude to push things forward.



Why are you in pain? Pain is 6 hours of sitting with a chick not making any moves.

You can't be needy here. It's probably toast already and if you can't accept that and be prepared to let things go it will turn into charcoal. No doubt she already got a lot of needy vibes from you so any hint of chasing is going to make things even worse.

You have to be chill, banter and be engaging on text, and if she's re-engaged well at some point soft-close again. But realistically she's probably already made up her mind, so get ready to go meet some other girls.

thanks for breaking it down man

you are right about alot of this - my strat is to try pinging about a week later to see where shes at. But mentally im preparing myself to move on.

Why are you in pain? Pain is 6 hours of sitting with a chick not making any moves.

I'm not sure, I got that same feeling you get after a break up in a LTR
I felt like i really messed up by not kissing her and it caused me to make all those stupid texting decisions. Basically I got emotional.

I truly don't know why I've been taking it this hard. But posting here and talking about it has eased my pain emensley.

This semi - traumatic experience has highlighted alot of my inadequacies and pushed me to improve.
Like Miyamoto says "The way is in daily practice, and many contests"

1. 6 hours is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long
2. Kissing on dates is at best unnecessary and at worst bursts the bubble

Keep it much shorter (an hour or so), escalate with touch/flirting, invite her home.

You will never understand how much reading this has comforted me, I find the idea of kissing a girl in public on a date much harder than physically escalating or bringing her home.

It causes me true stress, so the idea that its not even necessary is nice to hear.

 

[Will_V]

thanks for breaking it down man

you are right about alot of this - my strat is to try pinging about a week later to see where shes at. But mentally im preparing myself to move on.

Good!

I'm not sure, I got that same feeling you get after a break up in a LTR
I felt like i really messed up by not kissing her and it caused me to make all those stupid texting decisions. Basically I got emotional.

I truly don't know why I've been taking it this hard. But posting here and talking about it has eased my pain emensley.

Yeah it's not good to feel this way with a girl who hasn't proved that she's worth investing your emotions into.

If you clearly examine your mind I'm sure you will notice that a lot of these feelings that seem to be for this girl are really just emotions you are feeling about yourself that you have allowed to get attached to her.

This semi - traumatic experience has highlighted alot of my inadequacies and pushed me to improve.
Like Miyamoto says "The way is in daily practice, and many contests"

This is the way!

You will never understand how much reading this has comforted me, I find the idea of kissing a girl in public on a date much harder than physically escalating or bringing her home.

It causes me true stress, so the idea that its not even necessary is nice to hear.

Lol I can remember when I was a lot younger feeling the same way.

You gotta present yourself and own your actions man. Treat her like she's already yours - you wouldn't be worrying about kissing her if she was your girlfriend right?

 

[Skills]

1. 6 hours is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long
2. Kissing on dates is at best unnecessary and at worst bursts the bubble

Keep it much shorter (an hour or so), escalate with touch/flirting, invite her home.



After seeing how you will hang with her for 6 hours for nothing she's likely not terribly excited anymore. It's unlikely (but possible) that she happened to get sick from one day to the next, so it's probably her trying to let you down lightly.



Yeah she was probably hoping you'd get the message from her last text.



Forget about getting her on a date, first you need to have a good back and forth on text. She has to be interested in you (certainly enough to reply) before she'll think about going out again and risking 6 hours of waiting for a dude to push things forward.



Why are you in pain? Pain is 6 hours of sitting with a chick not making any moves.

You can't be needy here. It's probably toast already and if you can't accept that and be prepared to let things go it will turn into charcoal. No doubt she already got a lot of needy vibes from you so any hint of chasing is going to make things even worse.

You have to be chill, banter and be engaging on text, and if she's re-engaged well at some point soft-close again. But realistically she's probably already made up her mind, so get ready to go meet some other girls.

Yes! 6 hours on a date strike 1
6 hours on a date no escalating verbal or physical strike 2
Opening with a hard close strike 3...

 

[ShioriGC]

Good!

Yeah it's not good to feel this way with a girl who hasn't proved that she's worth investing your emotions into.

If you clearly examine your mind I'm sure you will notice that a lot of these feelings that seem to be for this girl are really just emotions you are feeling about yourself that you have allowed to get attached to her.

Absolutely, she's like a mirror, and she's exposing sides of myself i didn't know existed all at once. Its so weird, how a single date can do that.

Ofcourse she isn't special right? but she exposed these sides so my brain must be elevating her - but i know its just some mind foolishness - no wonder I came off as needy - no discipline!

its probably good it didn't go well because I would have never come back here for a while

Lol I can remember when I was a lot younger feeling the same way.

You gotta present yourself and own your actions man. Treat her like she's already yours - you wouldn't be worrying about kissing her if she was your girlfriend right?

facts! i've had this kiss rule in my mind for a decade and i truly think its held me back with fear - jeeeez that logic makes sense and lifts burdens off my back.

this magic image that a date is useless unless it "ends with a romantic kiss in the rain" ugh its some movie magic scene

thats the importance of failing and seeking help - you can get insights u would have never searched for

Thank you

 

[ShioriGC]

Yes! 6 hours on a date strike 1
6 hours on a date no escalating verbal or physical strike 2
Opening with a hard close strike 3...

oof we did talk about sexual things and she touched me a bit, but the ending was very platonic

Let's hope this isn't baseball! I'm reading your articles too dude, some users recommended it

 

[ShioriGC]

thanks everyone

i pinged her this morning, no response - i reaaally don't want to come off as a creep because she lives right under me.
i think i struct out; but i dont feel sick/needy anymore im ready to move on

think i should send some text like "hey I had a great time on the date, sorry for any misunderstanding on my end on this dating situation, ill stop texting good luck with life etc" or am i being too paranoid?

its really just cause she lives too close

 

[Skills]

So yeah guys
i pinged her this morning, no response - i reaaally don't want to come off as a creep because she lives right under me.
i think i struct out; but i dont feel sick/needy anymore im ready to move on

think i should send some text like "hey I had a great time on the date, sorry for any misunderstanding on my end on this dating situation, ill stop texting good luck with life etc" or am i being too paranoid?

its really just cause she lives too close

no wait about 3 days ping her again... with the eyes emoji... (i had women that i BANGED, not respond to my ping initially then second or 3rd time responded, just eyes emoji) if after 3 attempts nothing just guost don't delete number)

 

[ShioriGC]

no wait about 3 days ping her again... with the eyes emoji... (i had women that i BANGED, not respond to my ping initially then second or 3rd time responded, just eyes emoji) if after 3 attempts nothing just guost don't delete number)

alright, no good morning just eye emoji - thats sounds doable - u don't think its bad that she lives so close by (floor right under me)

 

[Skills]

alright, no good morning just eye emoji - thats sounds doable - u don't think its bad that she lives so close by (floor right under me)

of course is bad, i don't like those type of situations even if you get her, is to close to home....

 

[ShioriGC]

of course is bad, i don't like those type of situations even if you get her, is to close to home....

hm i guess ill have too use my judgement on this one then, it'd def be easier for me if there wasnt the fear of her complaining

if anything i will def use that eye emoji concept with future women, thanks Skills

 

[ShioriGC]

Tried to edit post but it not working
Update: The morning ping actually worked! it just took some time for her to reply