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- Mar 2, 2013
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- 865
This is a mandatory prerequisite to mastering pickup.
You have to be the one approaching girls in person. And doing it a LOT.
Why? Well, let's have a look at the different ways you can meet girls:
1. Online dating/Tinder - A girl can only screen you in through your profile and your conversation game.
While you may get good at these two, you don't get good at the nonverbals of approaching, nor setting up the approach to look natural.
Also, the timing of your responses determines the implication of the statement in person (so you pause before responding, it makes it look like you were thinking about the answer), whereas online means you can 'pause' the conversation until you think of a response.
2. Social circle - Before you even talk to the girl, you start with better attainability and value than ANY stranger from a nightclub or the street.
Why is this? Because you have social proof (she knows you have friends that are at least at the same caliber as hers) and preselection (because you'll usually have more than one girl hitting on you at a time). Also, you probably aren't going to be a physical or emotional threat (i.e. rape and kill her, or harass her) because being in the friend group means you're just a normal dude.
And you're easily accessible for her to talk to. That makes you more attainable.
3. Through a job or work - Here you're already talking to girls for a reason other than to "pick them up". "Picking a girl up" sets off alarms in girls heads.
Examples include:
She doesn't know if you're going to be a physical/emotional threat. Has no idea if people think you're cool or not (which makes it harder for her to decide if SHE thinks you're a cool guy or not). She doesn't know if you even sleep with girls. She doesn't know if you're just trying to "pick her up" and use her as a random piece of ass and you approach 20 girls a day.
AND she's screening you hard on your verbal and non-verbal game, Plus, the added pressure of getting to know a stranger in person is awkward and requires a lot of finesse.
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Cold approach makes you good at everything the other mediums make you good at...and they make you better at it.
You can be good at verbal game, but combining good verbal game with good body language makes you dynamite. This is essential for mastery of seduction.
You can tell the guys who approach to get their lays, and the guys who rely on an easy medium to get lays. The guys who approach to get their lays are more charismatic, more at ease with themselves, more effortless, and much better at conversation and non-verbals.
And if you put the guys who are good at cold-approach in a social circle or Tinder...they'll blow the socks off of those other guys who depend on those for their only mediums.
So even if you're getting laid a lot but it's not cold approach, and you're serious about getting good at pickup, I consider you to get back into cold approaching. It'll make an immediate difference in your game. I promise.
Nick
You have to be the one approaching girls in person. And doing it a LOT.
Why? Well, let's have a look at the different ways you can meet girls:
1. Online dating/Tinder - A girl can only screen you in through your profile and your conversation game.
While you may get good at these two, you don't get good at the nonverbals of approaching, nor setting up the approach to look natural.
Also, the timing of your responses determines the implication of the statement in person (so you pause before responding, it makes it look like you were thinking about the answer), whereas online means you can 'pause' the conversation until you think of a response.
2. Social circle - Before you even talk to the girl, you start with better attainability and value than ANY stranger from a nightclub or the street.
Why is this? Because you have social proof (she knows you have friends that are at least at the same caliber as hers) and preselection (because you'll usually have more than one girl hitting on you at a time). Also, you probably aren't going to be a physical or emotional threat (i.e. rape and kill her, or harass her) because being in the friend group means you're just a normal dude.
And you're easily accessible for her to talk to. That makes you more attainable.
3. Through a job or work - Here you're already talking to girls for a reason other than to "pick them up". "Picking a girl up" sets off alarms in girls heads.
Examples include:
- Doing sales where you're meeting new girls constantly and you can transition into getting her number
- Working at a bar, where girls come up to you for drinks or seeking permission for something, and they already see you as high status/leader and it's easy for you to quickly escalate to sex
- Girls that are coworkers find you an easily accessible option (combine that with good fundamentals, and usually they're pretty aggressive)
She doesn't know if you're going to be a physical/emotional threat. Has no idea if people think you're cool or not (which makes it harder for her to decide if SHE thinks you're a cool guy or not). She doesn't know if you even sleep with girls. She doesn't know if you're just trying to "pick her up" and use her as a random piece of ass and you approach 20 girls a day.
AND she's screening you hard on your verbal and non-verbal game, Plus, the added pressure of getting to know a stranger in person is awkward and requires a lot of finesse.
--------
Cold approach makes you good at everything the other mediums make you good at...and they make you better at it.
You can be good at verbal game, but combining good verbal game with good body language makes you dynamite. This is essential for mastery of seduction.
You can tell the guys who approach to get their lays, and the guys who rely on an easy medium to get lays. The guys who approach to get their lays are more charismatic, more at ease with themselves, more effortless, and much better at conversation and non-verbals.
And if you put the guys who are good at cold-approach in a social circle or Tinder...they'll blow the socks off of those other guys who depend on those for their only mediums.
So even if you're getting laid a lot but it's not cold approach, and you're serious about getting good at pickup, I consider you to get back into cold approaching. It'll make an immediate difference in your game. I promise.
Nick