- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
- Messages
- 172
One year or so into actively gaming I have definitely seen a big improvement in my results with women.
But although I might have almost no problem in approaching women, be able to have long interactions with them (or being cool with rejections if I don't reach the hook) and pull/bed some from time to time (my average since June was 1 every 1/2 months) I recognise there's still a lot to work on to get real life-changing results.
I definitely managed to decrease the overly-entertaining/clownish aspect of my interactions and to add more intrigue, mystery, masculinity and status but there's still something big missing and I am probably starting to understand what that is.
My current challenge is to transform myself into the kind of guy who's able to immediately come across as sexual, sexy and arousing, who naturally displays his intent without having to do weird/extreme stuff and to remain congruent with this state through the whole interaction, while meanwhile readily and totally letting go of time-wasting girls who are definitely not out for sex. The kinda guy who's so coherent with his goal and character he can naturally apply the law of the least effort, avoiding to storm the girl with conversational elements to avoid letting the interaction die and who rather gets the girl to actively invest with the minimum effort.
I have read articles about "being sexy and sexual" and they are all very useful in giving directions. But when "being sexual" is never been part of your personality (I think primarily because you didn't have a male figure in your family unconsciously transmitting you that) and you're out there on the field, to intellectually know what has to be done is helpful only up to a point.
You have to go through transformation, you have to see girls differently, you have to see other men differently, you have to see the world differently, you have to see and feel yourself in the environment differently. You're no longer a "friendly social being" who sees people and girls as other social beings and who's there to "empathise and be cool while manipulatively trying to give things a sexual turn" but you are a predator who's hungry and sees girls as targets and other males as competitors who can take the meal away from you, who knows it's a tough world where there's no such thing as "fair" and who's not afraid of getting his hands dirty and destroy a lot of potentially friendly and empathically rewarding interactions to finally get those sexual interactions he's actually looking for.
It requires becoming somebody else. Of course this doesn't mean that you can totally let go of social rules. As you let go of your overly empathic identity (where you're so identified with social rules you don't even need to think about them) you must start seeing those same social rules as external constraints you have to challenge without totally breaking them, in one word you have to learn how to calibrate yourself. One problem I have when I train to get in that kind of state is that sometimes I exceed on the other side, like when in November I kissed a girl 4 seconds after approaching her just to have her boyfriend and his friends angrily trying to fight me a few moments later or like when a wingman of mine was told by a girl she would call the police if he didn't go away.
If you also went through a similar stage in your progress and have some helpful tip to go through this "transformation", that'd be most welcome!
Cheers,
Prehistoric
But although I might have almost no problem in approaching women, be able to have long interactions with them (or being cool with rejections if I don't reach the hook) and pull/bed some from time to time (my average since June was 1 every 1/2 months) I recognise there's still a lot to work on to get real life-changing results.
I definitely managed to decrease the overly-entertaining/clownish aspect of my interactions and to add more intrigue, mystery, masculinity and status but there's still something big missing and I am probably starting to understand what that is.
My current challenge is to transform myself into the kind of guy who's able to immediately come across as sexual, sexy and arousing, who naturally displays his intent without having to do weird/extreme stuff and to remain congruent with this state through the whole interaction, while meanwhile readily and totally letting go of time-wasting girls who are definitely not out for sex. The kinda guy who's so coherent with his goal and character he can naturally apply the law of the least effort, avoiding to storm the girl with conversational elements to avoid letting the interaction die and who rather gets the girl to actively invest with the minimum effort.
I have read articles about "being sexy and sexual" and they are all very useful in giving directions. But when "being sexual" is never been part of your personality (I think primarily because you didn't have a male figure in your family unconsciously transmitting you that) and you're out there on the field, to intellectually know what has to be done is helpful only up to a point.
You have to go through transformation, you have to see girls differently, you have to see other men differently, you have to see the world differently, you have to see and feel yourself in the environment differently. You're no longer a "friendly social being" who sees people and girls as other social beings and who's there to "empathise and be cool while manipulatively trying to give things a sexual turn" but you are a predator who's hungry and sees girls as targets and other males as competitors who can take the meal away from you, who knows it's a tough world where there's no such thing as "fair" and who's not afraid of getting his hands dirty and destroy a lot of potentially friendly and empathically rewarding interactions to finally get those sexual interactions he's actually looking for.
It requires becoming somebody else. Of course this doesn't mean that you can totally let go of social rules. As you let go of your overly empathic identity (where you're so identified with social rules you don't even need to think about them) you must start seeing those same social rules as external constraints you have to challenge without totally breaking them, in one word you have to learn how to calibrate yourself. One problem I have when I train to get in that kind of state is that sometimes I exceed on the other side, like when in November I kissed a girl 4 seconds after approaching her just to have her boyfriend and his friends angrily trying to fight me a few moments later or like when a wingman of mine was told by a girl she would call the police if he didn't go away.
If you also went through a similar stage in your progress and have some helpful tip to go through this "transformation", that'd be most welcome!
Cheers,
Prehistoric
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