LR The Dark Side

[Verisimilitude]

As this is not just my first LR on this site, but my first lay ever, I would love to get some input on how things went, and for the most part I really am proud that I accomplished this (its been my goal this year to lose my virginity).

The night started like normal, with a party at an on campus house. I had a girl (Alexa) coming over, but I wasn't 100% sold on her, but I was willing to see how things worked out. She comes with a friend (who was sleeping at her place) so I thought that was red flag #1. The second slip up was when i was dancing with her. I was dancing with her and her friend was dancing with one of my friends. Alexa was getting into it and I was thinking I was set and I made a comment about how loud she was gonna be when I took her back to my room. She stopped dancing with me and left, and I realized I had either messed up, or that she wasn't really into me.

Later on in the night, I got a text from a girl (Jess) who i met earlier, but hadn't talked to in a while. She told me she had a crush on me, and was too nervous to tell me. I texted her back, and went over to her place. She seemed really drunk and had a bf, so I decided not to manhandle kiss her as soon as we were alone. We talked for a good amount of time, and I had a nightcap. As she sobered up, (and I got more drunk), I eventually decided to go for it. We made out, and I worked thru a good bit of resistance, and eventually she told me that I should put on a condom. I was a little surprised because I thought it wasn't gonna happen, but I put it on and things started. I thought it was gonna be quick, but I actually had problems coming. We tried different positions and eventually fell asleep. I went for round 2 in the morning, and it was really the same as before. I felt a little bit worse in the morning because she had a bf, and I broke up with my last gf b/c of cheating. I got the feeling she loved her bf and I was sort of an experience she wanted to try. But I still feel like I joined the dark side.

Things I thought I did well:

It didn't seem like she thought I was a virgin, so I'm proud with how I did for my first time.
Overcoming resistance
Dominance and being commanding
Giving off the right frame for a one night stand
She also told me that I was big, but I think that's a general thing girls say to help guys egos.

Things to improve:

With the first girl, I can't make mistakes like that (don't assume things until I'm alone with her)
She didn't cum, but I hope that will come with experience, but any tips would be appreciated.
I got tired, especially the second time. I didn't lose my hard on, but my body just got tired
I was never sure what speed to go at
I have no idea how much tongue to use when french kissing
I didn't enjoy it as much as I though I would (probably hype)

 

[Laowai]

Congrats on becoming a man!.

Also, I love that you also use the format with what you did well, and what you should improve. Also add a "realizations" section with five realizations about women.

The first girl at the club you screwed up with by being socially unsavvy. You made her feel very uncomfortable by the direct statement of communicating sexual expectations and you triggered LMR. Beware next time and be more smooth. If you want to sexualize non-verbally, you should read Chase's last comment in my LR: HB Victory.

If a girl wants to cheat on her BF, she WILL, and then it just might be you. The world is not black and white. Was she getting bad sex at home? Was she feeling neglected? Does he hit her? You can't know her reasons for wanting to sleep around.

About your questions:
Sex with a condom just doesn't really feel like much. French kiss delicately in a way that you find appealing, and don't stick your tongue deep into her throat. Otherwise ask her how she likes it. Sometimes I have to correct my girls too. What speed to go at? Bang in rhythms, that will induce a trance-like state and make her come better. Banging out of rhythm will appear distracting. Bang fast when you feel like it, or when you sense her climax coming, but keep the rhytm.

 

[Verisimilitude]

Thanks man I appreciate it. I knew what I said at the club was wrong as soon as I said it, that will be something I can improve for next time."

I felt bad about the whole boyfriend thing because one of my past girlfriends cheated on me, and I really got mad at her because of it. I felt like a hypocrite, even though my mindset has changed from then until now.

For realizations I'd put:

1. One wrong move can mess things up with a girl, and I gotta be more careful with what I say

2. The night isn't ruined or perfect based off of how one girl reacts, I will probably have multiple chances with different girls in one night

3. If a girl wants to cheat on her BF, she WILL

4. If that person happens to be me, its ok

5. You never know when a girl is checking you out, so be on your game all the time (I met Jess at the start of the year, and hadn't talked to her in a while, but I left a good impression, and she wanted me)

 

[Chase]

Runner-

Props on the first lay! And with a girl with a boyfriend! You're gonna be a ladykiller in the not-so-distant future, methinks...

Chase

 

[Mr. oblivious]

I made a comment about how loud she was gonna be when I took her back to my room. She stopped dancing with me and left

visualizing that as i read it i couldn't help but laugh

I know this is probably a bit late but congratz

 

[Motiv]

I realize this is a rather old LR, but Chase linked to it in one of his recent articles, and I clicked on it as the title appealed to me.

I've wrestled with this concept of the Dark Side since I allowed myself to become entangled with tyrannical mentor at a fairly early age in my adult youth — he would declare I was the same type of person as Judas and Satan, simply for neglecting to mention his name as my teacher (a fact he only knew because I was naive enough to tell him out of guilt). Add to that a religious upbringing that instilled a deep spiritual fear of extramarital sex, and I held onto my male virginity until the ripe old age of 34.

Speeding ahead to the present, I am now regularly sleeping with two married women, both of whom's husbands are very friendly with me yet have no idea (at least, so we all believe and hope). When I decided to take the plunge of implementing GC material into my own real life, part of the appeal to me was joining the Dark Side… like a fallen Jedi (it's OK to call me a huge nerd — we are usually the smartest players, in my opinion). On the flip side of the coin, however, another part of me posits that this whole Dark Side concept is in truth little more than a shroud, designed to keep humanity chained from achieving true enlightenment — Gnostic bliss.

Women experience life through a very different lens than we as men do. Consider that what may appear as convoluted, meaningless, or dark to us men may be little more than our limited ability to understand the feminine point of view. Alternatively, I could just be full of shit and this all really is the dark side of life, but I for one am willing to take the risk to seek the truth and hopefully lead a more fulfilling life in the process — society's rules be damned. I just do my best to look like I am playing by the rules. I don't call myself Mischief for nothing…

-M

 

[Verisimilitude]

I realize this is a rather old LR, but Chase linked to it in one of his recent articles, and I clicked on it as the title appealed to me.

Wow he did! Holy shit I'm famous!