- Joined
- Dec 25, 2016
- Messages
- 619
How to make the girl pay?
Providing greater value in exchange.
In that case, I was a breathe of fresh air. Something different. Something exciting.
I considered her paid for the experience. I did decent, until the middle. And I let her down at the end by not persisting enough.
Anyways, here was what happened.
Dead numbers
Thursday, I went thru my phone. I sent every dead number a long ass text.
"Hi, now I'm texting you because it was a long time since I met. Just back from (city), now I'm back to school ... sigh. Hope you're still well, shoot me a text if there are something new - (my name)"
One number responded:
"I'm still well ... when you're free let's grab a coffee. Have a good day."
I waited for 2 days? Why? Because this text was a high investment high attainability move. I needed 2 days to let the attainability went back down. Also to show her that I was having options.
In retrospect, she was a business owner. She seemed to be into romantic type. And obviously, she had no tolerance for missing window.
First venue
I texted: "Hey, there was a awesome book festival tonight, if you're free let's go"
Why? Vary it up. I already proposed coffee date before.
Her:"Okay, let's go 7 PM"
"Where"
Me: "Near the church"
"Let's meet there"
Her: "Okay"
A while later
"Let's have a coffee at 5 PM"
"Okay?"
In retrospect, this girl was the type of following the plan. She must have planned this.
Me: "Ok, 5 PM"
Her: "You go to (address)"
Then I went there. I called her, to break the calling barrier.
She was late, I thought she purposely went late to lower her attainability, there was no need to fret about it. I can pick a good position.
This cafe had no good position. Most seats were opposite to each other. Meaning the first half I must went no touch style, then start touching when we changed venue.
The waiter came. Be nice to him, he would be my ally.
Then the girl came, I did this to gain compliance:
"Look to your right"
"Turn back"
"Look up"
"Go to the second floor."
We're having drink. Some deep dive, make her laugh a bit.
She said she had another date at 8 PM. Later on she cancelled it to keep staying with me, so I shouldn't take it as face value.
A window. Time to change venue.
Me: "Let's go"
She called the waiter, and paid for the date.
I considered it a very good sign.
On the car
I led her out, calling Uber. She stood far from me. Meaning I had to initiate.
I said, "Let's go over there, this place was bad."
She moved, and I positioned myself near her. Start escalating touch. The girl paid, meaning she wanted an experience. Don't be boring.
Crossed the street, I threw my arm over her shoulder.
The car came. I opened the door for her. Why? Because it was a romantic move.
One thing I did well on this date, was that my frame control was very good.
Driver: Traffic again, this hour man
Me: It was good, we can watch the street
Meaning I framed everything as a positive experience, she would like it.
Driver and her laughed.
Her: It just because he will be here for only a short time.
Then I chatted with her a bit. I talked a lot, being talkative seemed to suit my style more.
She seemed to be into younger men. Her boyfriend was younger than her 2 years. However she said she had never date a guy 8 years younger than her before. I should be proud of myself.
I said, "You're the cougar."
She playfully hit me. This was a good sign.
Also she liked foreigners. She said French men was romantic, American men pushed it too hard. She showed me her boyfriend picture. Meaning I was the fuckboy.
I should be something in the middle. Window-based escalation.
She never traveled outside my country. She traveled a lot in my country, however.
She looked away. Another window.
I told her: "By the way, I knew a bit of palm astrology. Let me see your hand."
Good decision making.
Then I said to her: "Okay, this line meant your business will go up."
She nodded her head.
Me: This line meant you will meet a handsome man in blue shirt today (that was me)
She laughed. This routine was reliable.
Driver: Haha, this technique was good."
Her: I just thought he knew palm astrology
Then I oversold the book festival a bit. My friend told me about it. She had never been into a book festival before. I said if she liked books, she didn't read much, only back in college. I commented, "Romance novel, I guessed" which was a chase frame, because it implied she liked men.
Car stopped.
Second venue
I took her hand, when we crossed the street, I was looked out for her, an attainability move.
So the escalation sequence: Some hand touching (palm astrology) then taking her hands. Remember this for the next date.
She said, "Are we looking like a couple?"
Me, "Like a cougar and her lover."
She playfully hit me, removed her hands, I pulled her back in.
Then at the art gallery, honestly this was when I screwed up. I took her around, showing her art, and telling interesting stories behind them.
Several escalation windows, when she stood close to me. But how should I escalate? I already took her hands. Later on I figured it out however, hips touch, bra touch, then breasts, then cheek kiss. However, I did it too slow this date. Remember this for the next date.
Then I told her to go eating. She followed me, several more windows but I missed all. She walked a long way, still holding my hands, but then I noticed that she started feeling uncomfortable.
I took her into a nearby restaurant.
However this restaurant was insanely expensive, I took her out.
Good decision making, by the way. We were having a laugh over it.
Her: "The waiter already took out the plates"
Me: "Yeah"
Her: "You're bad"
Me: "Let's go to another restaurant"
Rule of Cool #4: Break the rule sometimes.
Attraction had gone back. So now I needed more attainability. Next restaurant was cheap, I paid for the food. Then we ate. Lots of attainability, I related with her on family stuff.
I observed her body language, attraction was about to gone. I seeded a coffee shop near my home, she turned it down.
I thought to myself, "I cannot give up there. If I give up, I can't get better."
and some amusing thought, "This is interesting. I need to be different."
Then she wanted to go to another coffee shop of my choice. We went out.
If I followed her, my value would drop, my investment would increase. No good.
Me: "Let's go to another coffee shop, it was nearby."
She followed me. Good, my value increased because of leadership, her investment also increased because she followed me.
On the street
Truth was, that coffee shop was 2 miles away. However, I told her, "That coffee shop was unique," (oversell) "You're in the office everyday, you need some walk" (male authority), "You will be thinner next morning, thank me for that" (fatherly wise ass), "Have you ever know a good restaurant, far away, and when you go all the way to that, it was really delicious" (understand her), "I knew you have come to a lot of coffee shops, so I make sure this one was unique." (understand her)
Now I touched her hips. Good shit. Do it earlier man.
Then she was about to cross the street, I touched her on the breasts, pulling her back.
Then I put my arm over her, on the bra. It felt good,
I thought, "A business owner? Lol. She was cute and whiny. Or because the pressure of being the business owner was too great, I'd better be the breath of fresh air, helping her an escape"
I asked her, "How you think about me?"
She said I was handsome.
I said, "Yes, I am handsome."
By the way, I deep dived a lot.
This girl was a heavy backward rationalizing, because even the coffee shop was ordinary, she felt it was special, after walking so long.
She was from a family with a lot of kids. She was the 4th. She was the only one who left her town, and coming to the city. She opened her business when she was in the city. Showing me her house. This girl was rich.
She complained that most girls didn't have any ambition, they just took ordinary jobs, they depended too much on the man.
She said she paid for the men when they went out.
So I wasn't that special.
Now, what should be the proper response here. Bad responses would be: a) Wow, you're so rich, show me your houses etc. (pedestal) b) Oh, okay (dismissive)
Both are bad.
Correct response, "You must have worked very hard."
She worked hard at first, but she said now the business was running, she had more time to go out.
I planned to do a "rewarding cheek kiss" when we went there. That was an okay plan, but I should rely on window rather than my plan.
Then she asked my taste on girls. I qualified her. I said I hated girls who didn't work out, because their body would downgrade. She said she used to work out a lot, but right now she didn't work out as much and she gained weight.
We arrived at the coffee shop.
Third venue
Do the cheek kiss, she resisted.
I led her up. Into a decent position, I and her sat at 90 degree seats. Better if we sat next to each other, but in retrospect I need to build enough comfort.
My touch was well calibrated. I touched not too little, not too much, at the high point. Mostly arm touch, wrist, and hand touch.
She said I must date a lot of younger girls. Which was true. However, I said I liked her personality.
I said I cannot have a girlfriend now, that would be unfair for the girlfriend, because I had to build my career (heavy tone), and play (lighthearted tone). So the alternating vibe was good.
She said she was afraid. Like she couldn't trust anyone.
How should I handle this?
I said, "Yeah, you should only trust your parents. I think, it is because you haven't meet any man that melt your heart."
She nodded.
I said, "And that's me," taking her hand.
She took it back however.
She asked me about her appearance.
Now, in my honest opinion, she looked good. However, this girl was really insecure.
How should I handle this?
My decision was just saying what she wanted to hear.
"Okay, I'm going to be honest. You look quite ordinary, nothing special. However, what special is your personality. You are the only one who goes for the city, and you work hard to raise yourself up."
I noticed she was tapping her feet. She was impatient. I must do something.
I touched her hand, "Let's go to the coffee shop near my house. It's very good."
She turned it down however, she said she had to work.
My mistake was that I took it as face value, "Okay, I understand, but I really want to spend time with you."
And touching her hands.
We looked at each other a while. She paid for the date, we went out.
She snugged very close to me. I went for a cheek kiss, she resisted.
I called a taxi for her. She ran ahead of me, saying goodbye, and getting into the taxi.
Providing greater value in exchange.
In that case, I was a breathe of fresh air. Something different. Something exciting.
I considered her paid for the experience. I did decent, until the middle. And I let her down at the end by not persisting enough.
Anyways, here was what happened.
Dead numbers
Thursday, I went thru my phone. I sent every dead number a long ass text.
"Hi, now I'm texting you because it was a long time since I met. Just back from (city), now I'm back to school ... sigh. Hope you're still well, shoot me a text if there are something new - (my name)"
One number responded:
"I'm still well ... when you're free let's grab a coffee. Have a good day."
I waited for 2 days? Why? Because this text was a high investment high attainability move. I needed 2 days to let the attainability went back down. Also to show her that I was having options.
In retrospect, she was a business owner. She seemed to be into romantic type. And obviously, she had no tolerance for missing window.
First venue
I texted: "Hey, there was a awesome book festival tonight, if you're free let's go"
Why? Vary it up. I already proposed coffee date before.
Her:"Okay, let's go 7 PM"
"Where"
Me: "Near the church"
"Let's meet there"
Her: "Okay"
A while later
"Let's have a coffee at 5 PM"
"Okay?"
In retrospect, this girl was the type of following the plan. She must have planned this.
Me: "Ok, 5 PM"
Her: "You go to (address)"
Then I went there. I called her, to break the calling barrier.
She was late, I thought she purposely went late to lower her attainability, there was no need to fret about it. I can pick a good position.
This cafe had no good position. Most seats were opposite to each other. Meaning the first half I must went no touch style, then start touching when we changed venue.
The waiter came. Be nice to him, he would be my ally.
Then the girl came, I did this to gain compliance:
"Look to your right"
"Turn back"
"Look up"
"Go to the second floor."
We're having drink. Some deep dive, make her laugh a bit.
She said she had another date at 8 PM. Later on she cancelled it to keep staying with me, so I shouldn't take it as face value.
A window. Time to change venue.
Me: "Let's go"
She called the waiter, and paid for the date.
I considered it a very good sign.
On the car
I led her out, calling Uber. She stood far from me. Meaning I had to initiate.
I said, "Let's go over there, this place was bad."
She moved, and I positioned myself near her. Start escalating touch. The girl paid, meaning she wanted an experience. Don't be boring.
Crossed the street, I threw my arm over her shoulder.
The car came. I opened the door for her. Why? Because it was a romantic move.
One thing I did well on this date, was that my frame control was very good.
Driver: Traffic again, this hour man
Me: It was good, we can watch the street
Meaning I framed everything as a positive experience, she would like it.
Driver and her laughed.
Her: It just because he will be here for only a short time.
Then I chatted with her a bit. I talked a lot, being talkative seemed to suit my style more.
She seemed to be into younger men. Her boyfriend was younger than her 2 years. However she said she had never date a guy 8 years younger than her before. I should be proud of myself.
I said, "You're the cougar."
She playfully hit me. This was a good sign.
Also she liked foreigners. She said French men was romantic, American men pushed it too hard. She showed me her boyfriend picture. Meaning I was the fuckboy.
I should be something in the middle. Window-based escalation.
She never traveled outside my country. She traveled a lot in my country, however.
She looked away. Another window.
I told her: "By the way, I knew a bit of palm astrology. Let me see your hand."
Good decision making.
Then I said to her: "Okay, this line meant your business will go up."
She nodded her head.
Me: This line meant you will meet a handsome man in blue shirt today (that was me)
She laughed. This routine was reliable.
Driver: Haha, this technique was good."
Her: I just thought he knew palm astrology
Then I oversold the book festival a bit. My friend told me about it. She had never been into a book festival before. I said if she liked books, she didn't read much, only back in college. I commented, "Romance novel, I guessed" which was a chase frame, because it implied she liked men.
Car stopped.
Second venue
I took her hand, when we crossed the street, I was looked out for her, an attainability move.
So the escalation sequence: Some hand touching (palm astrology) then taking her hands. Remember this for the next date.
She said, "Are we looking like a couple?"
Me, "Like a cougar and her lover."
She playfully hit me, removed her hands, I pulled her back in.
Then at the art gallery, honestly this was when I screwed up. I took her around, showing her art, and telling interesting stories behind them.
Several escalation windows, when she stood close to me. But how should I escalate? I already took her hands. Later on I figured it out however, hips touch, bra touch, then breasts, then cheek kiss. However, I did it too slow this date. Remember this for the next date.
Then I told her to go eating. She followed me, several more windows but I missed all. She walked a long way, still holding my hands, but then I noticed that she started feeling uncomfortable.
I took her into a nearby restaurant.
However this restaurant was insanely expensive, I took her out.
Good decision making, by the way. We were having a laugh over it.
Her: "The waiter already took out the plates"
Me: "Yeah"
Her: "You're bad"
Me: "Let's go to another restaurant"
Rule of Cool #4: Break the rule sometimes.
Attraction had gone back. So now I needed more attainability. Next restaurant was cheap, I paid for the food. Then we ate. Lots of attainability, I related with her on family stuff.
I observed her body language, attraction was about to gone. I seeded a coffee shop near my home, she turned it down.
I thought to myself, "I cannot give up there. If I give up, I can't get better."
and some amusing thought, "This is interesting. I need to be different."
Then she wanted to go to another coffee shop of my choice. We went out.
If I followed her, my value would drop, my investment would increase. No good.
Me: "Let's go to another coffee shop, it was nearby."
She followed me. Good, my value increased because of leadership, her investment also increased because she followed me.
On the street
Truth was, that coffee shop was 2 miles away. However, I told her, "That coffee shop was unique," (oversell) "You're in the office everyday, you need some walk" (male authority), "You will be thinner next morning, thank me for that" (fatherly wise ass), "Have you ever know a good restaurant, far away, and when you go all the way to that, it was really delicious" (understand her), "I knew you have come to a lot of coffee shops, so I make sure this one was unique." (understand her)
Now I touched her hips. Good shit. Do it earlier man.
Then she was about to cross the street, I touched her on the breasts, pulling her back.
Then I put my arm over her, on the bra. It felt good,
I thought, "A business owner? Lol. She was cute and whiny. Or because the pressure of being the business owner was too great, I'd better be the breath of fresh air, helping her an escape"
I asked her, "How you think about me?"
She said I was handsome.
I said, "Yes, I am handsome."
By the way, I deep dived a lot.
This girl was a heavy backward rationalizing, because even the coffee shop was ordinary, she felt it was special, after walking so long.
She was from a family with a lot of kids. She was the 4th. She was the only one who left her town, and coming to the city. She opened her business when she was in the city. Showing me her house. This girl was rich.
She complained that most girls didn't have any ambition, they just took ordinary jobs, they depended too much on the man.
She said she paid for the men when they went out.
So I wasn't that special.
Now, what should be the proper response here. Bad responses would be: a) Wow, you're so rich, show me your houses etc. (pedestal) b) Oh, okay (dismissive)
Both are bad.
Correct response, "You must have worked very hard."
She worked hard at first, but she said now the business was running, she had more time to go out.
I planned to do a "rewarding cheek kiss" when we went there. That was an okay plan, but I should rely on window rather than my plan.
Then she asked my taste on girls. I qualified her. I said I hated girls who didn't work out, because their body would downgrade. She said she used to work out a lot, but right now she didn't work out as much and she gained weight.
We arrived at the coffee shop.
Third venue
Do the cheek kiss, she resisted.
I led her up. Into a decent position, I and her sat at 90 degree seats. Better if we sat next to each other, but in retrospect I need to build enough comfort.
My touch was well calibrated. I touched not too little, not too much, at the high point. Mostly arm touch, wrist, and hand touch.
She said I must date a lot of younger girls. Which was true. However, I said I liked her personality.
I said I cannot have a girlfriend now, that would be unfair for the girlfriend, because I had to build my career (heavy tone), and play (lighthearted tone). So the alternating vibe was good.
She said she was afraid. Like she couldn't trust anyone.
How should I handle this?
I said, "Yeah, you should only trust your parents. I think, it is because you haven't meet any man that melt your heart."
She nodded.
I said, "And that's me," taking her hand.
She took it back however.
She asked me about her appearance.
Now, in my honest opinion, she looked good. However, this girl was really insecure.
How should I handle this?
My decision was just saying what she wanted to hear.
"Okay, I'm going to be honest. You look quite ordinary, nothing special. However, what special is your personality. You are the only one who goes for the city, and you work hard to raise yourself up."
I noticed she was tapping her feet. She was impatient. I must do something.
I touched her hand, "Let's go to the coffee shop near my house. It's very good."
She turned it down however, she said she had to work.
My mistake was that I took it as face value, "Okay, I understand, but I really want to spend time with you."
And touching her hands.
We looked at each other a while. She paid for the date, we went out.
She snugged very close to me. I went for a cheek kiss, she resisted.
I called a taxi for her. She ran ahead of me, saying goodbye, and getting into the taxi.
