Ok, I had a guy comment on one of my field reports and I then realized that my reply would be relevant to others as well, hence I'm starting a new topic. What I have to say is based on personal observations so if you don't like my assertions of the one truth you can kindly suck it. <3
Hi Josh, thank you for the compliments! Sometimes it becomes a habit to beat oneself up over the mistakes while ignoring the successes in a single interaction so it's always nice to hear objective feedback
.
I would like to challenge some things in terms of your own strategy for getting girls. The first one is the "seduction master" identity. My question to you is this: do you want the girls or do you want the title? If it's the former then the latter identity is HIGHLY counterproductive. Instead of making dating and getting girls about getting the seducer identity (read ego) make it about taking positive action, learning the dynamics, and spreading fun, value, and pleasure to self AND of others. There are many many more disadvantages to the PUA / Super seducer persona than any benefits the persona can give you. The one benefit I can think of the top of my head is that it can provide is a boost of confidence (read arrogance) that is whimsical at best.
The disadvantages mostly resolve into a lack of freedom and TOTAL outcome dependence.
At the novice and apprentice levels of game this mentality prevents individuals from going out to practice in favor of reading/watching all dating advice out there in hopes that once they breach out of their cocoon of dating seclusion they will be killing it, never in a million years get rejected, pull all the DTF HB10+++s and pulverize LMR with their smooth HBG. Surprise, surprise, that's not actually how this thing works. Without the hours of effort and practice these individuals get no reference points, no experience, and no love. You can then later see them bitch about how the game doesn't work and that this is all a bunch of BS after the 2-5 rejections they get when they feel that they're finally ready to actually do something. After encountering a couple of rejections their identity is destroyed and they do the same uber-learning process over again trying to figure out what they did wrong, rage-quit game in a misogynistic fury because the girls refused to pleasure their ... um ... egos (pun most certainly intended, both meanings apply), or they can actually pick up their proverbial balls, get their proverbial shit together, kill their sorry little egos... and actually DO game, get rejected, become ok with it, carry on despite the pain, become super bad-asses without realizing it and get their fair share of happy endings along the way. Fuck yea, it's a bout the journey bitches!
So let's some these super-bad-asses make it big and then one day some will say something like "Wow, I have finally made it, finally, after all this time... I AM THE LORD OF THE RINGS... um I mean A MASTER PUA." So now, if the guys that are fairly decent at game adopt the mindset of the master PUA they have a huge reputation to maintain both for others and for the self which drains them of the fun they get from game which gives them EXTREME outcome dependence. It becomes a sterile experience of rinse and repeat which slowly poisons their mentalities to a point where they're no longer getting the quality they desire because they turned into needy little bitches whose ego NEEDS validation as opposed to the relatively cool bad-asses they once were. Once they start getting consistent rejections from the quality girls they used to be able to get their reality is likely to come crashing down sending them into a spiral of misogyny, self-pity, and depression. Once that happens, they may start chasing easy lays hoping it would boost their self esteem (they lays won't), rage quit game, or they can take a brief break from gaming, find their inner core, start drawing happiness from within, give back to their communities, lose all outcome dependence, stop tolerating bullshit from self, become real men, and all of a sudden find themselves doing better with women then they ever were. Fuck yea, the game is about becoming real men, not horny little fuckers!
These guys are now pretty much total BAMFS at this point. Sure they encounter difficulties as often as anyone but they have the experience and the knowledge they need to carry them through without losing their dignities, self esteem, or self-worth because they know that even if they do lose in any given struggle, they have the skills to bounce back and make up their losses. Now however, some of the newbies around them look at them and say "WOW, that is a true master PUA; I want to be just like him simply by reading a book this guy wrote and if that is not enough I will then harass the guy with emails, calls, and talks for advice because I NEED him to make me happy. Oh, and if that fucker wont help me I will turn into a little spiteful bitch because I DESERVE his attention even though all I do is suck value without giving nothing back." The BAMF, in the meantime has to deal with dozens of these guys while trying to make a point that he doesn't have all the answers, he isn't as bad-ass as everyone imagines him to be, and that he still makes plenty of mistakes... except he's OK with making them.
As you can see, the ego-based game has a whole bunch of flaws and although I suspect that some ego is almost inevitable. The main focus of learning game should always be about the willingness to escape the comfort zone, face challenges, risk rejection, and give love. Make gaming about positive actions and behaviors rather than identities and you will free yourself to exist in the flow-state in a proactive state of mind (which is fantastic for learning any skill) as opposed to a protective state of mind where you wish to protect your "image/identity/ego."
Hope this helps.
Cheers,
- Joy
theemann31 said:
Hi Josh, thank you for the compliments! Sometimes it becomes a habit to beat oneself up over the mistakes while ignoring the successes in a single interaction so it's always nice to hear objective feedback
.I would like to challenge some things in terms of your own strategy for getting girls. The first one is the "seduction master" identity. My question to you is this: do you want the girls or do you want the title? If it's the former then the latter identity is HIGHLY counterproductive. Instead of making dating and getting girls about getting the seducer identity (read ego) make it about taking positive action, learning the dynamics, and spreading fun, value, and pleasure to self AND of others. There are many many more disadvantages to the PUA / Super seducer persona than any benefits the persona can give you. The one benefit I can think of the top of my head is that it can provide is a boost of confidence (read arrogance) that is whimsical at best.
The disadvantages mostly resolve into a lack of freedom and TOTAL outcome dependence.
At the novice and apprentice levels of game this mentality prevents individuals from going out to practice in favor of reading/watching all dating advice out there in hopes that once they breach out of their cocoon of dating seclusion they will be killing it, never in a million years get rejected, pull all the DTF HB10+++s and pulverize LMR with their smooth HBG. Surprise, surprise, that's not actually how this thing works. Without the hours of effort and practice these individuals get no reference points, no experience, and no love. You can then later see them bitch about how the game doesn't work and that this is all a bunch of BS after the 2-5 rejections they get when they feel that they're finally ready to actually do something. After encountering a couple of rejections their identity is destroyed and they do the same uber-learning process over again trying to figure out what they did wrong, rage-quit game in a misogynistic fury because the girls refused to pleasure their ... um ... egos (pun most certainly intended, both meanings apply), or they can actually pick up their proverbial balls, get their proverbial shit together, kill their sorry little egos... and actually DO game, get rejected, become ok with it, carry on despite the pain, become super bad-asses without realizing it and get their fair share of happy endings along the way. Fuck yea, it's a bout the journey bitches!
So let's some these super-bad-asses make it big and then one day some will say something like "Wow, I have finally made it, finally, after all this time... I AM THE LORD OF THE RINGS... um I mean A MASTER PUA." So now, if the guys that are fairly decent at game adopt the mindset of the master PUA they have a huge reputation to maintain both for others and for the self which drains them of the fun they get from game which gives them EXTREME outcome dependence. It becomes a sterile experience of rinse and repeat which slowly poisons their mentalities to a point where they're no longer getting the quality they desire because they turned into needy little bitches whose ego NEEDS validation as opposed to the relatively cool bad-asses they once were. Once they start getting consistent rejections from the quality girls they used to be able to get their reality is likely to come crashing down sending them into a spiral of misogyny, self-pity, and depression. Once that happens, they may start chasing easy lays hoping it would boost their self esteem (they lays won't), rage quit game, or they can take a brief break from gaming, find their inner core, start drawing happiness from within, give back to their communities, lose all outcome dependence, stop tolerating bullshit from self, become real men, and all of a sudden find themselves doing better with women then they ever were. Fuck yea, the game is about becoming real men, not horny little fuckers!
These guys are now pretty much total BAMFS at this point. Sure they encounter difficulties as often as anyone but they have the experience and the knowledge they need to carry them through without losing their dignities, self esteem, or self-worth because they know that even if they do lose in any given struggle, they have the skills to bounce back and make up their losses. Now however, some of the newbies around them look at them and say "WOW, that is a true master PUA; I want to be just like him simply by reading a book this guy wrote and if that is not enough I will then harass the guy with emails, calls, and talks for advice because I NEED him to make me happy. Oh, and if that fucker wont help me I will turn into a little spiteful bitch because I DESERVE his attention even though all I do is suck value without giving nothing back." The BAMF, in the meantime has to deal with dozens of these guys while trying to make a point that he doesn't have all the answers, he isn't as bad-ass as everyone imagines him to be, and that he still makes plenty of mistakes... except he's OK with making them.
As you can see, the ego-based game has a whole bunch of flaws and although I suspect that some ego is almost inevitable. The main focus of learning game should always be about the willingness to escape the comfort zone, face challenges, risk rejection, and give love. Make gaming about positive actions and behaviors rather than identities and you will free yourself to exist in the flow-state in a proactive state of mind (which is fantastic for learning any skill) as opposed to a protective state of mind where you wish to protect your "image/identity/ego."
Hope this helps.
Cheers,
- Joy
