- Joined
- Oct 1, 2015
- Messages
- 6
Hello everyone.
I have been always reading about picking up and relationships (Mystery Method, Lovesystems, Neil Straus...), but in the past i have done it here and there and not really commited untill recently, because i realised i am somewhat incontent with my dating life.
One of the triggers (but not neccesarily the only one) was the situation with the girl from the colledge.
So we have been friends for a couple of years, and she was in a long term relationship at a time, with a guy who is also my very good friend. I have always had some positive vibe with her, but have never looked at her as something more then a friend.
However, everything changed once they have broken up. It was like someone changed the switch in my head :"She's single now", and started thinking about taking her to a date. We continued communicating a lot, although i know i have been too much of a good nice guy and made many mistakes (the result of which will be even more apparent later). I was also having some hesitations because of the friend and the situation because in my social environment dating your friend's ex is considered a sin.
Anyway, i finally managed to take her on a date, some two months after the break up (yes i know, terribly slow, but it was a 6 year relationship and everybody was telling me to give some time). And on the date, when i finally made the move, she said she thought it was just a friendly coffee.
And i thought that was it and thought i would easily move on, but we continued having normal relationship and communicate on a regular basis, and often about some more "controversial" subjects.
Anyway, after the summer we went out again, and she was the one who invited me and there again it was very similar situation as on the first coffee.
The thing that was most confusing and iritating is that she definitely gave me alot of signs of interest during the years, and also after i told her i like her (for instance she would often compliment me, or tell me i smell good, or send messages late in the night).
So the main problem is that i can't say what my goal with this girl is. From my side i am torn between being friends and wanting something more. And when i asked her about us, she would never give me definite answer and would always avoid it (although i have insisted). I would rather hear something as "You are not my type", "It will never work with us" ,but i guess she won't do that in order not to hurt my feelings.
And i know what the right thing probably is, and what most of you would recommend, and that is just to get her out of my life and move on. But the point is i don't want to lose her as a friend, if i just had some concrete reason i could easily remain at being just friends, but with these constant double signs i just have trouble doing so.
And okay, i am not that experienced with women, but i had some success, and i had some other girls in between, during the summer, but somehow these girls don't make me that happy at all, and i often keep coming back to this girl.
So, any opinion or advice would be great and i expect them to be harsh, because now that i have put everything here on paper, i see how juvenile and funny it all sounds
I have been always reading about picking up and relationships (Mystery Method, Lovesystems, Neil Straus...), but in the past i have done it here and there and not really commited untill recently, because i realised i am somewhat incontent with my dating life.
One of the triggers (but not neccesarily the only one) was the situation with the girl from the colledge.
So we have been friends for a couple of years, and she was in a long term relationship at a time, with a guy who is also my very good friend. I have always had some positive vibe with her, but have never looked at her as something more then a friend.
However, everything changed once they have broken up. It was like someone changed the switch in my head :"She's single now", and started thinking about taking her to a date. We continued communicating a lot, although i know i have been too much of a good nice guy and made many mistakes (the result of which will be even more apparent later). I was also having some hesitations because of the friend and the situation because in my social environment dating your friend's ex is considered a sin.
Anyway, i finally managed to take her on a date, some two months after the break up (yes i know, terribly slow, but it was a 6 year relationship and everybody was telling me to give some time). And on the date, when i finally made the move, she said she thought it was just a friendly coffee.
And i thought that was it and thought i would easily move on, but we continued having normal relationship and communicate on a regular basis, and often about some more "controversial" subjects.
Anyway, after the summer we went out again, and she was the one who invited me and there again it was very similar situation as on the first coffee.
The thing that was most confusing and iritating is that she definitely gave me alot of signs of interest during the years, and also after i told her i like her (for instance she would often compliment me, or tell me i smell good, or send messages late in the night).
So the main problem is that i can't say what my goal with this girl is. From my side i am torn between being friends and wanting something more. And when i asked her about us, she would never give me definite answer and would always avoid it (although i have insisted). I would rather hear something as "You are not my type", "It will never work with us" ,but i guess she won't do that in order not to hurt my feelings.
And i know what the right thing probably is, and what most of you would recommend, and that is just to get her out of my life and move on. But the point is i don't want to lose her as a friend, if i just had some concrete reason i could easily remain at being just friends, but with these constant double signs i just have trouble doing so.
And okay, i am not that experienced with women, but i had some success, and i had some other girls in between, during the summer, but somehow these girls don't make me that happy at all, and i often keep coming back to this girl.
So, any opinion or advice would be great and i expect them to be harsh, because now that i have put everything here on paper, i see how juvenile and funny it all sounds
