The "Fade Out"

[Estate]

I know I'm going to sounds like a ridiculous newb by asking this... but....

Long story short,
- 2 dates with a girl. No, we didn't sleep together. (I know, I know...!)
- However, lots of making out, after the first time I initiated, she initiated several times after, made plans with me for future date, etc...
- She pulled the "slow fade" as they call it... no more contact.

I know, I'm an idiot, I want to text her and try to re-initiate things. (I shouldn't but the whole package just impressed me a lot more on the dates than most, thus shes still on my mind despite having met some other girls since.)
Obviously the best advice is forget her and hit the bars tonight.

Did I just answer my own question?

 

[Drck]

Yes, it is tough to follow on what you know. If you contact her you will be chasing, and she will move further away. She knows exactly what you feel because 90% plus guys in the same situation would contact her, and if you react or over-react, you have lost.

On the other hand, if you don't chase, if you let it cool off, she MAY turn back and wonder: What happened to this guy? How come he doesn't chase me like the others? Am I not attractive enough? And she may, but may not, try to figure out. IF she does, good for you...

If you can't resist, give it at least couple of days. Say 10 days, then sent her very brief message: Hey, what happened to you? But you should resist. If you really like her a lot it will be quite difficult - so man the fuck up!

Ideally, you'd bump into her several weeks later. She may recall good times with you, get all excited, and you with kind of surprised look (remind me, who the fuck are you?) on your face: Oh, yea, it's you, I was just wondering what happened to you...

 

[Franco]

Estate,

- 2 dates with a girl. No, we didn't sleep together. (I know, I know...!)

If you pushed for sex here (as in at LEAST invited her home, but preferably if you got her home and tried to physically escalate with her), then you may still have a shot here, but the ball's obviously in her court to respond. If neither of these things happened (and you just went on two dates and she went radio silent), then this one is probably dead in the water.

You know the deal, bud! Move fast, always!

- Franco

 

[Estate]

Cheers guys,
Yeah I know the rules... just talking myself off the ledge of contacting her... lol.

Part of it was because despite the not sleeping with her thing being obvious... I *think* there was a slight mis-understanding of something I had said to her which I kinda realized later may have been a big deal.
(In general this does happen me a lot, I still talk very "Irish" when not in work. Some things I say can get mis-understood. Like my phrasing or the way I word something means something totally different in the U.S. Friends know me but people who don't can be thrown off sometimes.)
So yeah, there was something I kinda think I said which was more then likely taken in a different way than I intended and left crap that might have contributed.

Anyway, forget about it, onwards and upwards.