The flakes are real (General Q and Specific Q)

[pickupq123]

Hi everyone,

Longtime reader of this site. I was actually the anonymous user that spawned the question for the article 'Why Cold Approach Works Better than Anything Else', which is one of my favorite articles on this site. After realizing the article was published last October and that I've only done 1 cold approach since that time, it was a giant slap in the face to get out there. I'm really happy to say that I cold approached 7 new girls this week, and while I know this number is really low, it's a huge step up from someone who battles with social anxiety (and in my defense, I approached nearly everyone I could. I have to walk around quite a bit to run into a new face).

In short, out of the 8 girls I've approached, I got 5 numbers. Ironically, the very first girl I approached back in October was the only one I've managed to go on a date with.

MY QUESTIONS:

1) For the experienced cold approachers out there, about how many approaches did it take until you were able to start seeing decreases in your number to flake ratio?

2) If someone could critique my text messages, I would be super grateful. The first three I used direct openers.

Approach 1 Text

Me: Hi X. Glad we ran into each other today.
-Bob
Her: Me too! it was nice meeting you
Me: You all done at the lib?
Her: Yess I am I'm out to eat now with some friends..what are you doing?
Me: Oh nice. Was gonna say... I hope I didn't delay your studies by too much . I'm at work right now
Her: Haha no you didn't! Where do you work?
Me: I work at X. Hey what's your sched looking like this week? We should meet up to grab a bite to eat. Or drinks.
Her: I'd be up for that I have class Thursday and work the rest of the weekend tomorrow is my last night off
Me: How late is the class? We can do after class on thurs or thurs evening?
Late Sun works for me too
Her: I work after class on Thursday and Sunday night
Me: Hmmm. I could do tomorrow anytime between 4-7. I work at 8. Does that work?
Her: Tomorrow might work otherwise I think I have Friday off
Me: let’s do tomorrow! do you live around campus? we’ll do something small like ice cream before i head to work

I sent that last text three days ago. No response.

Approach 2 Text

Background: This girl had a BF. Although she didn't mention it until right after I asked for her number after 5 min of talking, and I just brushed it off.

Me: Hi X! Nice running into you today: - Bob

No response on this

Approach 3

This girl I thought was fairly receptive to me. It was kind of funny watching her get a little nervous after I approached her with the 'hey i thought you were cute...etc."

Me: Hi there! Glad we ran into each other today. -Bob
Her: It was nice meeting you too.
Me: Hi X! hope all of you research hasn't kept you inside too much with this nice weather what's your sched looking like this week? We should grab that bite to eat or drinks.

No response

My last approach I used an indirect opener because I was genuinely curious about a location I was exploring. I approached two girls, and got the number of the girl I was semi-interested in. I closed with 'you two are fun to talk to, we should hang out sometime' after about 10 min of talking. Not sure if its even worth pursuing this since I didn't really express interest in either one during the convo:

Me: Hi X. Nice talking to you and X today. -Bob
Her: Hey! Yes it was very nice meeting you!

3) LAST QUESTION. Is it worth sending another text out to any of these situations? If so, what?

I know my approach number is very low, but I wanted to get some opinions before I go back out there. Living in a city where I don't know too many people, this first week has been draining, especially since I don't really have friends to fall back on here, but reading articles from this site and posts from all of you gives me motivation to keep trying. Thank you.

- Bob

 

[Eternity]

Keep the txting short, write less than what she writes back. Too much kills any mystery and intrigue. See tips on txting on my "Tips and Tricks" thread...

 

[Eternity]

I would've done it like this: [Me]

Approach 1 Text

Me: Hi X. Glad we ran into each other today. [Hey, It's Eternity...sexy mofo from____]
-Bob
Her: Me too! it was nice meeting you
Me: You all done at the lib? [yep]
Her: Yess I am I'm out to eat now with some friends..what are you doing?
Me: Oh nice. Was gonna say... I hope I didn't delay your studies by too much . I'm at work right now [(15 mins later) chilling u?]
Her: Haha no you didn't! Where do you work?
Me: I work at X. Hey what's your sched looking like this week? We should meet up to grab a bite to eat. Or drinks. [guess...] [drinks at xxx tmrrow?]
Her: I'd be up for that I have class Thursday and work the rest of the weekend tomorrow is my last night off
Me: How late is the class? We can do after class on thurs or thurs evening?
Late Sun works for me too [gay]
Her: I work after class on Thursday and Sunday night
Me: Hmmm. I could do tomorrow anytime between 4-7. I work at 8. Does that work? [no response to her txt for an hour then hit her with this: tmrrow at 6 then...]
Her: Tomorrow might work otherwise I think I have Friday off
Me: let’s do tomorrow! do you live around campus? we’ll do something small like ice cream before i head to work [k ice cream at xxx] [then txt her 2 hrs b4 the date with :gonna b 5 mins late, errands...] [If she doesn't respond or txt's u some b.s excuse NEXT her and move on without replying.]

 

[pickupq123]

Thanks. I was trying to follow Chase's format as much as possible, but I'll switch it up to shorter responses if I see no results. I actually d/l Tinder just to work on 'text game'.

Interestingly enough, the girl in the 3rd interaction responded just now (3 days later). She said:

Her: I'm at the airport out of town for the next week, but maybe next weekend?
Her: What's your last name BTW? i have a friend who is in your profession.


I haven't responded yet. Any tips on how to approach this?

Thanks

 

[Eternity]

"sure, tell u next time"- Reeks of an aloof/asshole Alpha Male. It's simple yet mysterious and alluring. This girl wants to fuck you, no disinterested girl texts you back after 3 days, don't fuck it up she's DTF if you run game correctly. I'll be posting some links to tips on how to reverse flaking today, it will serve you well, check it out on my thread.

EDIT: A day later hit her with this:[drinks (wherever you plan on taking her) at xxx tmrrow?]

 

[pickupq123]

OK, thanks. I'll send that message.

She's out of town until the weekend, so I'll hit her up tomorrow with 'drinks sat at X at 7?"

 

[Eternity]

Don't forget this if she agrees to meet:

then txt her 2 hrs b4 the date with:"gonna b 5 mins late, errands..." [If she doesn't respond or txt's u some b.s excuse NEXT her and move on without replying.

or if you want to keep trying try some of the reverse flaking tactics I posted on my thread...

 

[Smith]

Hey pickupq123

Good job on getting out there! Usually the numbers flake because of your interaction, so it would be more helpful to you if you post some FR.

For approach 1

Me: You all done at the lib?
Her: Yess I am I'm out to eat now with some friends..what are you doing?
Me: Oh nice. Was gonna say... I hope I didn't delay your studies by too much . I'm at work right now

You're too nice. It was her honour to stop studying and talk to you. Also, the fact that you're texting her at work shows her that you're not a busy man.

Me: I work at X. Hey what's your sched looking like this week? We should meet up to grab a bite to eat. Or drinks.
Her: I'd be up for that I have class Thursday and work the rest of the weekend tomorrow is my last night off
Me: How late is the class? We can do after class on thurs or thurs evening?
Late Sun works for me too
Her: I work after class on Thursday and Sunday night
Me: Hmmm. I could do tomorrow anytime between 4-7. I work at 8. Does that work?
Her: Tomorrow might work otherwise I think I have Friday off
Me: let’s do tomorrow! do you live around campus? we’ll do something small like ice cream before i head to wor

Starts out good, but you got a little desperate in the end. The last text screwed it up. a simple "tomorrow 4.30 at XX? " would've been enough.

Approach 2 - she gave u her number to be polite. we've all been there.

Approach 3- this one sounds like a lost cause but just follow Eternity's advice and see what happens.

Approach 4 - hit her up now. I know Chase said to keep your text short and go straight to the point, but I've found that 3-4 texts of banter to build rapport before going down to business, i.e. proposing your date, works better. But you're gonna have to adjust this according to your interaction with her early on.

Keep going bro! Just have fun. Don't chase for numbers when you're out meeting girls. A good interaction > a number.

-Smith

 

[pickupq123]

Thanks for the advice. I'll try to post some new FR this week for critique (might even record some).

My interactions go pretty well (I think), but they lack that 'sexual' transition, which I've seen many talk about doing. At the moment, I just feel really uncomfortable making that transition with someone who I've only talked to for 5 minutes with.

 

[pickupq123]

"sure, tell u next time"- Reeks of an aloof/asshole Alpha Male. It's simple yet mysterious and alluring. This girl wants to fuck you, no disinterested girl texts you back after 3 days, don't fuck it up she's DTF if you run game correctly. I'll be posting some links to tips on how to reverse flaking today, it will serve you well, check it out on my thread.

EDIT: A day later hit her with this:[drinks (wherever you plan on taking her) at xxx tmrrow?]

So just a quick update on this. Texted exactly what you said and it worked. We're meeting up Sat (if she doesn't flake)

I wont bombard you with 'what should i text' questions, so last one for you since you're 1/1 (or anyone else for that matter):

Text conversation

Me: Hey it's Bob. Save my number
Her: Oh is that usually an issue for you? Girls not saving your number?

 

[Eternity]

Text conversation

Me: Hey it's Bob. Save my number
Her: Oh is that usually an issue for you? Girls not saving your number?

It's a shit test. Text her a simple "nope" and don't text back anything else except what I said b4 the date, or txt nothing at all if you have the balls for it. Oh, no emoticons until after you fucked her a couple times, friends, girls, and betas txt those. You my friend are on your way out of that warzone

 

[pickupq123]

Thanks dude. And thanks for the words of encouragement.

 

[pickupq123]

"sure, tell u next time"- Reeks of an aloof/asshole Alpha Male. It's simple yet mysterious and alluring. This girl wants to fuck you, no disinterested girl texts you back after 3 days, don't fuck it up she's DTF if you run game correctly. I'll be posting some links to tips on how to reverse flaking today, it will serve you well, check it out on my thread.

EDIT: A day later hit her with this:[drinks (wherever you plan on taking her) at xxx tmrrow?]

So just a quick update on this. Texted exactly what you said and it worked. We're meeting up Sat (if she doesn't flake)

Update on the update (inception).

Went out on a little date with this girl. Besides me being nervous as hell initially, I think it went pretty well. We clicked really well and i KNOW i could have pulled her home, BUT, despite having a shitload in common, I kept seeing red flags that made me a little nervous to bring someone back to my place. My friend suggested that I try to pull her home back to her place instead, but I've never tried this and I don't know how to transition into it. I *think* there is an article on this sight about pulling her to her house, but I'll have to search.

Otherwise, I approached a few more girls this week. I'm curious as to what I should do with this scenario:

I vibed really well with a girl and when I went to ask for her number at the end of conversation, she told me she has a boyfriend, but IMMEDIATELY after she was the one who told me that she has really cute single friends. I've never heard this response after a girl mentioned she had a boyfriend (has she been cold approached before?), So I said something along the lines of...

Me: "I like that response! Tell you what, I'll have you take my number, and you can tell your friends you just met an amazing guy on your way home, etc..."
Her: "OK! What is your last name by the way..."
Me: I tell her my last name... "I don't have facebook though, so you can't stalk me through there "
Her: "How am I suppose to show them what you look like!"
Me: "You'll just have to describe what I look like to them "

We parted ways, and honestly I didn't expect to hear back from her (since I was the one that gave her my number), but sure enough, one hour later I get via text:

Her: Hey its X, just so you have my number
Me: Hey X. Glad we met.

This was two days ago.

MY QUESTION:

In my head this screams she wants me to ask her out, but I'm VERY new to pick-up, so I need opinions.

1) Do I ask her out?
2) If Yes, do I suggest a public place (since she has a BF), or more along the lines of movie at my house?

Bob

 

[Eternity]

I vibed really well with a girl and when I went to ask for her number at the end of conversation, she told me she has a boyfriend, but IMMEDIATELY after she was the one who told me that she has really cute single friends. I've never heard this response after a girl mentioned she had a boyfriend (has she been cold approached before?), So I said something along the lines of...

Me: "I like that response! Tell you what, I'll have you take my number, and you can tell your friends you just met an amazing guy on your way home, etc..."
Her: "OK! What is your last name by the way..."
Me: I tell her my last name... "I don't have facebook though, so you can't stalk me through there "
Her: "How am I suppose to show them what you look like!"
Me: "You'll just have to describe what I look like to them "

We parted ways, and honestly I didn't expect to hear back from her (since I was the one that gave her my number), but sure enough, one hour later I get via text:

Her: Hey its X, just so you have my number
Me: Hey X. Glad we met.

This was two days ago.

MY QUESTION:

In my head this screams she wants me to ask her out, but I'm VERY new to pick-up, so I need opinions.

1) Do I ask her out?
2) If Yes, do I suggest a public place (since she has a BF), or more along the lines of movie at my house?

Bob

Hard to tell without body language and tone of voice to critique from. If she said she has a b.f and diverts your attention to her friends usually means your chances are probably not that good and it's best to move on. Don't bother with her friends, if you do, you are low value automatically because her friends are not competing with her you're just the leftovers. (harsh but it's how girls judge)

My instinct on this one is she just wants to hook you up with her friends that's why she gave u her # (bless her heart) so if you txt her she will say she has a friend that's perfect for you (fat chick/ugly chick).
Don't ask her out, try some hard flirting via txt (No emoticons!!! Less words than what she writes back!!!) and test the waters. Honestly if i was you I would consider this one as a dead end but hit her with this: "Hey sexy, missed me?"

A) no answer- move on
B) angry/rude/cold answer- Hit her with this: "wrng numbrr babe..." (txt like a drunk mofo txting his booty call)
C) good answer- it's on, set up a meet with the format I recommended

P.S- NO EMOTICONS/ LESS WORDS THAN WHAT SHE TXTS BACK!!!!

 

[nexus321]

Wow man, props. That's amazing that you have social anxiety and now are getting numbers and dates. I struggle with getting numbers. When I do, I tend to get flakes.

 

[pickupq123]

I vibed really well with a girl and when I went to ask for her number at the end of conversation, she told me she has a boyfriend, but IMMEDIATELY after she was the one who told me that she has really cute single friends. I've never heard this response after a girl mentioned she had a boyfriend (has she been cold approached before?), So I said something along the lines of...

Me: "I like that response! Tell you what, I'll have you take my number, and you can tell your friends you just met an amazing guy on your way home, etc..."
Her: "OK! What is your last name by the way..."
Me: I tell her my last name... "I don't have facebook though, so you can't stalk me through there "
Her: "How am I suppose to show them what you look like!"
Me: "You'll just have to describe what I look like to them "

We parted ways, and honestly I didn't expect to hear back from her (since I was the one that gave her my number), but sure enough, one hour later I get via text:

Her: Hey its X, just so you have my number
Me: Hey X. Glad we met.

This was two days ago.

MY QUESTION:

In my head this screams she wants me to ask her out, but I'm VERY new to pick-up, so I need opinions.

1) Do I ask her out?
2) If Yes, do I suggest a public place (since she has a BF), or more along the lines of movie at my house?

Bob

Hard to tell without body language and tone of voice to critique from. If she said she has a b.f and diverts your attention to her friends usually means your chances are probably not that good and it's best to move on. Don't bother with her friends, if you do, you are low value automatically because her friends are not competing with her you're just the leftovers. (harsh but it's how girls judge)

My instinct on this one is she just wants to hook you up with her friends that's why she gave u her # (bless her heart) so if you txt her she will say she has a friend that's perfect for you (fat chick/ugly chick).
Don't ask her out, try some hard flirting via txt (No emoticons!!! Less words than what she writes back!!!) and test the waters. Honestly if i was you I would consider this one as a dead end but hit her with this: "Hey sexy, missed me?"

A) no answer- move on
B) angry/rude/cold answer- Hit her with this: "wrng numbrr babe..." (txt like a drunk mofo txting his booty call)
C) good answer- it's on, set up a meet with the format I recommended

P.S- NO EMOTICONS/ LESS WORDS THAN WHAT SHE TXTS BACK!!!!

I've heard varying results for the friends thing. Some people say that the girl talks you up so much to her friends that often times you don't have to do much work when you meet them. I might just let this one go then. I don't think I'm projecting a sexy vibe when I do these approaches. It's more of a fun/exciting pace. If you've seen Simple Pickup videos, it's more like that, minus the silly outfits/goals they do (AKA I incorporate "hey i thought you were cute, etc" at the start of the interaction.

And thanks nexus for the compliment. Keep going at it (I've been looking at your 30 day challenge posts). To put things in perspective, I've been looking at this material for 2 years and have seen countless cold approach videos. I feel like I sort of have an upper edge compared to most guys who have started out, but I just never actually did any cold approaches until now. To be perfectly honest with you (and I'm reluctant to post this since I share a router with three other people so they can probably easily see this post, as well as the fact that nothing on the internet is 'private' anymore), I've taken an extremely small dose of anti-anxiety meds to take the edge off when cold approaching. In the coming weeks my goal is to do multiple cold approaches without meds. THAT for me will be a HUGE sticking point that I overcome. And funny enough, I actually did a cold approach today without meds. If interested...

Cold approach #12

At the gym, there was a girl I usually see there. I have never and had no intentions of doing pick-up at the gym (not because I'm one of those guys that thinks girls don't want to be approached there because they're working out. More because the gym is a place where I forget about most things and just focus on my workout) but I noticed this girl was sticking fairly close to me throughout my workout. Now I've seen Chase's posts on peripheral vision, what girls do to try and get your attention, etc., and I can tell you right now, I'm oblivious to a lot of it. This girl could have been around me because she actually wanted to do the machines close to me. but anyways...

This girl comes right next to me and does her workout. I notice a long scratch on her leg so I point my leg/toe at it to catch her attention and say...

Me: Have a cat?
Her: No. I actually don't know how I got this!
Me: Uh oh. Looks like somebody had a wild night yesterday...
Her: Haha no. Probably ran into something
Me: Ah. hey this is fairly unorthodox to do at a gym, but I just thought you were cute and wanted to say hi
Her: Oh thank you! Hi I'm X
Me: Hey I'm Bob.

We talk about majors (i'm at university. easy topic) I make her guess mine... After 5 min of talking, the gym was closing so...

Her: The gym's closing so I have to get out of here. I'm sure I'll see you around again.
She started walking away but...
Me: Hey! come here. (I took both hands and did a come here motion
Me: Are you single? (Should I not ask this 5 min in the conversation?)
Her: Eh sort of (Not the first time I've gotten this response now. Do girls not like to mention straight out that they're single?)
Me: Oh it's complicated huh?
Her: Here, I'll give you my number though.

She then proceeded to put her number in my phone, first and last name, with an exclamation mark after. Then as she said goodbye she sort of pinched my arm and left.


--

This approach was interesting for me since I did it without meds (granted I had natural endorphins from working out), it was a random approach (no social momentum) and I was nervous thoughout the whole interacation, but none-the-less I did it.

Anyways, your thoughts on this. Also, I can try to record a conversation next week if anyone is curious. It will squander any questions as to what my vibe is like at least.

Bob

 

[Eternity]

Tight. "Sort of" means she's fucking other guys or willing to cheat on her b.f if you run good game. Great progress, set up a meet with your new txting skills and go for the bang; she sounds interested. And yeah, put up a recording of your conversation, kinda curious on how your vibe is.

 

[pickupq123]

Hey Eternity,

What are your thoughts on building rapport via txt (3-5 messages)? For this last girl, since I was nervous, I didn't get anywhere near where I wanted to be in terms of rapport in person. All I have to work with is she's obviously a gym go-er, who's a pre-med major. My options are either:

1) Ask straight for the date.

Me: What's your sched like this week? Let's grab ice cream.

2) Rapport + date in same text

Me: Hey X! Hope those legs aren't too crazy sore from that workout . what's your sched like next week, etc.

3) Me: So what's the big plan after you work your way into med school?

And then txt 3-4 times, THEN ask for the date.

I'm interested in the varied txt methods between you and Chase and am wondering how you would approach this. Granted, I know you don't exactly know what my vibe is, but all I can say is it wasn't my best outing.

Bob

 

[Eternity]

Keep it simple. Use the txts for meets not rapport (Option 1), save that for when your face to face. What's helped me is becoming indifferent to the outcome, see her as practice, and go for the bang. She already triggered a red flag, "sort of" is conducive to promiscuous behavior. I wouldn't trust her being LTR material except for sex. Who cares how you # close, what matters is how you play it afterwards, you already know how to check if she'll flake

 

[pickupq123]

Hey guys,

A little bummed today. This is more to get this off my chest than asking for help, but I'm shit with the pull home. I know I have to mention it during the middle of the date on a high point, but for some reason I'm terrified of doing so. I'm sexually inexperienced, so the thought of "what will happen next" scares me. In short, went on a date with a cute girl, vibed decently well, TRIED to get her to take me to her place (asked her to show me her art), but she told me her roommate was home (I took this as "it's not a good idea to go to my place"), then after that, I didn't know how to smoothly transition into taking her back to my place. I suppose next time I could bring up TV shows, mention we should watch it after the date, then go from there. But like I said, being sexually inexperienced makes asking for the pull so hard for my for some reason.In other words I'm nervous as fuck.. I dropped her off at her house and hugged (not sure if goodbye kiss is bad if I'm not taking her home) If you have any thoughts, feel free, but, live and learn I guess.

In other words...I texted gym girl (who i think is GORGEOUS) today telling her we should get ice cream next week. She sent three message back, and seems really receptive, but it wasn't a yes:

Me: What's your sched look like next week. Let's grab ice cream.
Her: (Two hours later) Hey Bob! Sorry I'm at work !!
Her: I work a festival everyday actually you should come visit me at X
Her: Working at my other job right now!

So she's receptive, which is nice, but still didn't give a yes/no for ice cream. I was thinking of saying "sounds like you have your hands full next week. if you get some downtime from work shoot me a text and we'll figure out a good day for ice cream."

Bob