The Girls I'm " Meh " About Are Obsessed With Me " In Love "

[Troy]

I have always had girls liking me from I was young. And most of them I just didn't like back. They were either wee bit too fat, nose too massive, face too " ugly " compared to mine. I don't mean that in a offensive way. Most of these girls are nice people but for some reason they just lack the self confidence and charm I look for so I never got past the way they looked.

See the thing is most girls rate me as cute. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, all rate me between 7 and 10 in physical attractiveness

However a lot of the girls that come aggressively at me, they in my opinion are between 3 and 6 in physical attractiveness.

And I simply won't date a girl much less attractive than me. I just can't phantom me walking in public dressed really nice and their is a fat fat / ugly chick on my arm. It just won't work.

What gave me the urgency to write this post is when a not so attractive girl asked me over text if I could bring a condom the next time we see each other because she wants me at her house. *scream*

The attention isn't what I'm bothered about, it's the constant auto rejection these girls show eventually because I only like them as a friend. And I feel I've hurt so many girls ( unintentionally).

Another fat chick taught I was asking her to be my girlfriend when I was simply being social and flirty. I did my best to smile give her a small hug and tell her " I can't, I have a girlfriend ".

So guys what's your advice so I can stop hurting these girls unintentionally? Some come on really strong. Telling me " I love you Troy " all because I provided value by listening and giving them advice.

Troy

 

[Frost]

I've had that a little bit back in school. I think that them being unattractive they are not used to "the game" and being hit on, so even a bit of flirting or attention can be interpreted as possible interest from your side. Remember that women usually pick up on this stuff easily, and with the fact that she's not used to this maybe she's let's say more sensitive to potential signals.

How to reject her without hurting her? That's the big question isn't it? Everyone is usually focused on the idea of guys dealing with a girl's rejection, and here at GC we know that girls feel rejection from a guy if she gave him indicators of interest or escalation windows and he didn't respond (most guys miss out on them but I don't think girls see it that way most of the time) but this situation you're talking about is a bit rarely talked about and discussed because it's simply not common for a girl to make an overt move (comparable to a move a guy makes).

The "I have a girlfriend" card is good I think (well think about it, women use it to soften rejection too sometimes), you can maybe use the classic friendzone responses girls give out (I know it feels terrible when you're the one giving it, oh wait it's terrible on both ends).

 

[Troy]

How to reject her without hurting her? That's the big question isn't it? Everyone is usually focused on the idea of guys dealing with a girl's rejection, and here at GC we know that girls feel rejection from a guy if she gave him indicators of interest or escalation windows and he didn't respond (most guys miss out on them but I don't think girls see it that way most of the time) but this situation you're talking about is a bit rarely talked about and discussed because it's simply not common for a girl to make an overt move (comparable to a move a guy makes).

Yes man that's the big question, how to reject without hurting her.. To be honest I think their should be an article or advice shed on this. I've screened out some girls as potential lays because deep down I know they would be annoying little girls afterwards. They would want me to settle down and we be 100% committed and then I'd have to be very careful not to crush their ego and esteem.

One recent girlfriend I had sex with once, she wanted to text off my phone from 7am right back to midnight and sometimes further. And I am very busy, I don't have time for idle texting these days. She couldn't take it anymore and she taught I was " cheating " and I must not " love her" so she broke up with me. So I did what gc instructed, I cut contact. She would see me on whatsapp and we weren't talking. About a week later she started calling me when I'm at work and when I'd answer she kept silent.

Last week it was she texted me asking how I am.... Wanting to know what I'm doing for Valentine's Day, because she wanted to spend the day with me. ( TBH I allowed her to break up with me twice so this time was it permanently). I just told her straight up " I have a girlfriend now and I can't cheat on her ". She got angry, called me a asshole and blocked me.

Here's the ironic part : she called me again yesterday, she misses me most likely and wants to start over again.

But I'm not going to start over with her, she blew 2 chances and probably went to find a better guy and didn't find him and so she realized that " mistake " and is running back so I can save her.

No thanks.

So while a man gets more attractive, I think he should also know to prevent girls from getting too attached. Anyone knows how to achieve that? I find geeky ( in a cool way), religious girls to be a pain to date. I give them sex once and the next thing I'm hearing is " so when do we plan the wedding Troy? "

*run to the hills*

Who knows how to calmly reject girls while not making it even seem like a rejection?

The "I have a girlfriend" card is good I think (well think about it, women use it to soften rejection too sometimes), you can maybe use the classic friendzone responses girls give out (I know it feels terrible when you're the one giving it, oh wait it's terrible on both ends).

That's right Frost. It's definitely horrible on both ends, and I have not yet figured out anything else to say but " I have a girlfriend ". Obviously I can't say " I don't like you that much ", else I'm straight into enemy zone and to be honest I'd rather keep just friends with these girls. But some can't handle it, I'm wondering if I should tone down my game on them. Should I?

Troy

 

[Frost]

I'm wondering if I should tone down my game on them. Should I?

That's one way to go, but I think that if at first they got the impression that you were interested and then you reduced your game with them it will get the opposite effect (There's a french saying that goes along the lines of "chase her and she will run from you, run from her and she will chase you") simply because of the push pull effect, which might make her work even more for it.

So while a man gets more attractive, I think he should also know to prevent girls from getting too attached.

Are you stating your intentions from the start? What I mean is that if you're looking for a simple lay, you usually say during the date that you are not looking for a relationship right now to screen out the ones who are not aligned with your intentions.

Your post brought to mind an article by Drexel Scott about NEXTing. I think you should read it, it will help with dealing with the drama and the shit girls might give you.

 

[Troy]

Are you stating your intentions from the start? What I mean is that if you're looking for a simple lay, you usually say during the date that you are not looking for a relationship right now to screen out the ones who are not aligned with your intentions.

Your post brought to mind an article by Drexel Scott about NEXTing. I think you should read it, it will help with dealing with the drama and the shit girls might give you

I haven't always stated my intentions. For the times I did state my intentions, some girls would seek to go around them and want 100% commitment.

How to NEXT

There, I reread it and i t was very helpful . Thanks Frost

Troy

 

[RAFox]

Hey Troy,

This is more or less the same thing I went through 3 years ago. Franco gave me a very good answer, although you might have to change it a little for it to work in your situation:

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1823

Hope this helps!

 

[Chase]

Troy-

One of the things to keep in mind when you have this happening is it's generally a value/attainability deal.

As your value goes up, your attainability to less attractive women decreases and they begin to feel less confident they could have a shot with you.

If you're already good-looking physically and you're having unattractive girls hit on you, you should be focusing on other areas to up your value so that less attractive girls will say, "He's cute and nice, but he's out of my league," while hotter girls will say, "Hmm, this Troy character is interesting."

Although, keep in mind that who's telling you you're good-looking is important. I thought I was good-looking when I had a crummy hair cut, awful fashion sense, and was 25 pounds overweight because I'd have mediocre-looking women tell me I was handsome. I didn't start having really attractive women tell me this all until after I upped my fashion, shed the weight, got a stylish haircut, and made other appearance-based changes. The one exception was girlfriends... if I made a very attractive girl my girlfriend back when I didn't look that good, I'd have them start telling me how handsome I was. But I'd never hear it before sex, so I imagine that was their love blindness kicking in back then post-sex.

Aside from appearance-based things, however, I'd spend some time examining things like your nonverbal communication, how much of a confident/asshole vibe you give off, how charming you are or aren't, etc. And work on the ones you think you're lacking in.

If you need a role model, I might advise finding someone you like on-screen and emulating him more.

Essentially though, this one's going to come down to fundamentals + frame. The tighter your fundamentals are, and the more your frame exudes "I get/deserve top shelf women", the more the less attractive women will avoid you to preserve their egos and the more the more attractive women will take note of you.

Chase