- Joined
- Dec 23, 2012
- Messages
- 20
Hi gents
I've done a bit of thinking about the importance of showing sexual interest, and wouldn't mind hearing what you guys think...(Chase if you happen to be reading this, your own input would be much appreciated!)
I don't claim to be a seasoned Casanova - Indeed, I've been asking a fair few questions of my own on here - but I'd like to think I do have enough experience to make this worth a read.
This website often stresses the importance of being sexy and more or less upfront about your intentions. And yes, done right that is absolute dynamite.
However, the impression I sometimes get from reading the blog is that showing no sexual interest whatsoever inevitably gets you friendzoned. I'll quote a section here from the article on Direct/Indirect:
'There's a certain thought process a woman goes through when a man's doing full-on true indirect...
"He's talking to me, and I know he has a reason. It's not like he's talking to EVERYONE here... he came up to ME."
"He's acting like he's not interested in me at all... but he just keeps talking to me. Weird."
"Okay, I've got it - he LIKES me, he just doesn't want to ACT like it. I'll play along."'
In the context of a club cold approach, I'd definitely agree that showing intent is essential. But elsewhere, I haven't really found that to be the case. Since I started reading this blog and tightened up my fundamentals, there have been a couple of occasions where I've shown NO sexual intentions whatsoever but still got directly propositioned for sex.
Before I started reading the blog, I got the most success from being WARM and RELAXED with women and having 'normal' conversations. No gamey behavior or blatant agenda. Basically the girls knew I 'liked' them, although not necessarily in a sexual way.
If I made it too apparent that I was 'into' a girl then I invariably failed.
On the other hand I've known girls obsess over male friends who have never shown any sexual intent whatsoever.
For these reasons, a lot of guys seem to think that ignoring girls and covering up their intentions is the way forward. And to be sure, you ARE probably better off acting aloof than coming across as a needy, horny loser.
But all things considered, I don't believe it's entirely correct to place so much weight on being direct vs indirect - as a LOT of people seem to be doing these days.
Being sexual definitely helps for speedy, smooth seductions but what's most important in generating attraction, besides looks, is being cool and composed, charismatic, warm and showing appropriate levels of investment. So as far as I can tell:
- If you're sexual but have none of the above qualities, women will outright avoid you.
- If you're sexual and have all of the above qualities, then you'll get laid regularly and with ease.
- If you're non-sexual and have none of the above qualities, you'll frequently get stuck in the friendzone
- If you non-sexual but have all of the above qualities, women will still dig you - but you probably lack the killer instinct to make the most of it!
Basically, being sexual is very good if you're otherwise an attractive guy. If you aren't otherwise attractive then being sexual won't help you all that much. Most of the time you'll just be out of the friendzone and into the nothing-at-all-zone. If you're purely playing a numbers game then you will probably get laid eventually, although with someone who is less than your first choice!
*When I talked earlier about losing girls who I showed an interest in, I doubt I lost them BECAUSE I showed interest per se. I lost them because in the process of 'liking' the girls, I started to behave in an unattractive way. Perhaps I got too needy, seemed too nervous, or resorted to overly 'gamey behavior' (definitely a big no no).*
If you're a cool, attractive guy, but rarely show sexual interest, girls will still find you attractive. But being sexual whilst retaining the same qualities will ensure that even MORE girls like you. More importantly it will make it much more likely that something actually HAPPENS with all these girls...
Cheers for reading!
GG
I've done a bit of thinking about the importance of showing sexual interest, and wouldn't mind hearing what you guys think...(Chase if you happen to be reading this, your own input would be much appreciated!)
I don't claim to be a seasoned Casanova - Indeed, I've been asking a fair few questions of my own on here - but I'd like to think I do have enough experience to make this worth a read.
This website often stresses the importance of being sexy and more or less upfront about your intentions. And yes, done right that is absolute dynamite.
However, the impression I sometimes get from reading the blog is that showing no sexual interest whatsoever inevitably gets you friendzoned. I'll quote a section here from the article on Direct/Indirect:
'There's a certain thought process a woman goes through when a man's doing full-on true indirect...
"He's talking to me, and I know he has a reason. It's not like he's talking to EVERYONE here... he came up to ME."
"He's acting like he's not interested in me at all... but he just keeps talking to me. Weird."
"Okay, I've got it - he LIKES me, he just doesn't want to ACT like it. I'll play along."'
In the context of a club cold approach, I'd definitely agree that showing intent is essential. But elsewhere, I haven't really found that to be the case. Since I started reading this blog and tightened up my fundamentals, there have been a couple of occasions where I've shown NO sexual intentions whatsoever but still got directly propositioned for sex.
Before I started reading the blog, I got the most success from being WARM and RELAXED with women and having 'normal' conversations. No gamey behavior or blatant agenda. Basically the girls knew I 'liked' them, although not necessarily in a sexual way.
If I made it too apparent that I was 'into' a girl then I invariably failed.
On the other hand I've known girls obsess over male friends who have never shown any sexual intent whatsoever.
For these reasons, a lot of guys seem to think that ignoring girls and covering up their intentions is the way forward. And to be sure, you ARE probably better off acting aloof than coming across as a needy, horny loser.
But all things considered, I don't believe it's entirely correct to place so much weight on being direct vs indirect - as a LOT of people seem to be doing these days.
Being sexual definitely helps for speedy, smooth seductions but what's most important in generating attraction, besides looks, is being cool and composed, charismatic, warm and showing appropriate levels of investment. So as far as I can tell:
- If you're sexual but have none of the above qualities, women will outright avoid you.
- If you're sexual and have all of the above qualities, then you'll get laid regularly and with ease.
- If you're non-sexual and have none of the above qualities, you'll frequently get stuck in the friendzone
- If you non-sexual but have all of the above qualities, women will still dig you - but you probably lack the killer instinct to make the most of it!
Basically, being sexual is very good if you're otherwise an attractive guy. If you aren't otherwise attractive then being sexual won't help you all that much. Most of the time you'll just be out of the friendzone and into the nothing-at-all-zone. If you're purely playing a numbers game then you will probably get laid eventually, although with someone who is less than your first choice!
*When I talked earlier about losing girls who I showed an interest in, I doubt I lost them BECAUSE I showed interest per se. I lost them because in the process of 'liking' the girls, I started to behave in an unattractive way. Perhaps I got too needy, seemed too nervous, or resorted to overly 'gamey behavior' (definitely a big no no).*
If you're a cool, attractive guy, but rarely show sexual interest, girls will still find you attractive. But being sexual whilst retaining the same qualities will ensure that even MORE girls like you. More importantly it will make it much more likely that something actually HAPPENS with all these girls...
Cheers for reading!
GG
