The kiss question: should it really be avoided before sexual touch??

[SSantorini]

In my datings, i usually progress with girls in the following sequence:

- Gentle/innofensive touchs (grab hands, rub hands and arms)

- Mouth kissing

- Kissig and rubbing in neck, face and head/hair caress

- Intimate touch (tights, breasts, intimate areas).


I read in some articles from Chase that the kissing should be postponed the maximum(if in public, or if she is in your place) because it communicates to the girl that she already "owns" you, which makes them "satisfied" and not willing to progress further.

However, im my experience, i cant even conceive of touching the girl's intimate parts (inner tights, butt, breasts or vagina) without kissing she first. The mouth kiss is the opener, the first "intimate" contact that all girls accept and not take it as big pressure. I think that after it, the girls are MORE willing to progress, and not less, and to try touch the intimate parts of a girl without a previous mouth kiss will be harder, her walls will be higher, her anti-slut shield will be a lot more tight.

So, the kissing should be postponed or no?


NOTE: Can be it that i misinterpreted the articles too. If it is the case, my sincere apologies.

 

[Frost]

I think what is meant in the articles is that you shouldn't kiss if you're not going to seal the deal directly afterwards. I think as well that you should start with kissing.

 

[Fuck This]

I think what is meant in the articles is that you shouldn't kiss if you're not going to seal the deal directly afterwards. I think as well that you should start with kissing.

Ever heard the saying..."Never say WHOA in a Horse Race?" So goes the Escalation from kissing.

Using our Horse Race metaphor, you want to warm up before you get to the starting gate, but you have to saddle up and get the jockey mounted (sexual intent) first. (KIno and closeness)

Then the outrider (you) is going to lead the mounted horses out on the track . First they walk, then they trot and finally a slow canter to warm up as they head to the gate. (Isolation, and escalation)

When the horses load in the gate , here is the point where some balk. (the pull, and LMR) A good Outrider can get the horse in the gate calmly, and let the Jockey ride her to the win....

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Santo,

Early in my learning curve, I would have girls on date, then drive them home and give them a kiss before parting. Then in many cases I would never see the girl again, or the second date would go to hell. I also had cases where it went on successfully and the girl would later on become my girlfriend.

I have solved the problem by bringing the girls in my home for the first date, and kissing them only as part as the escalation process.

My take is, it's a matter of signalling the right thing, and being congruent.

* The kiss goodbye in the car is weak and counts as a failed escalation. It's a mixed signal, you're incongruent with yourself, and it's mostly end game. If you have been showing some sexy vibe and strong kino, deep inside her she expected this to end in a good shag, and all she got is this kiss. Failed escalation. However since it's also very boyfriendish, in some case it can turn into BF/GF relationship.

* The kiss, as part of the sexual escalation process, is sexual. It can be used to arouse her. However, I also noticed that if I do it too early it can trigger LMR (maybe 20% of time?)

So, if I'm unable to pull her home on first date, I would rather leave her with a "bye" (no kiss). And even if I pull her home, I tend to wait before going for the kiss when I escalate... until I see she's excited, and it's most likely result in sex anyway. At best, it doesn't hurt to build some tension. And at worse, I avoid triggering LMR too early.

Now regarding your sequence:

- Gentle/innofensive touchs (grab hands, rub hands and arms)
- Mouth kissing
- Kissig and rubbing in neck, face and head/hair caress
- Intimate touch (tights, breasts, intimate areas).

I have essentially the same, except mouth kissing comes third, after rubbing neck / face and hair caress, and done along with intimate touch.

Overall, the answer to your question is, yes, the kiss should be postponed as close to sex as possible.

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[SSantorini]

Ty by your advice, Seppuku!

 

[HellAtlantic]

I had an encounter recently where my kissing early broke her down over time. We nearly had sex in her car but there was something she couldn't get past that had nothing to do with my sexual frame. I wrote a report about it.

Anyway: it was bar game. There was 3 rounds of kissing, each time the kissing progressed more passionately than the last.

* First time she rejected my attempt. I persisted. We did light make out in public.
* 2nd round outside no resistance to kissing. More passionate. More intense. I bring up going to her car and she says no. Go back to making out.
* 3rd round outside very passionate make out. No resistence to going to her car. Fun times but no sex but nearly there. If we see each other again it'll certainly happen.

The kissing almost had to happen and be used as a ladder to even get as far as I did. She completely accepted my sexual frame and saw I went after something I wanted and I was respected for it.