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the law of attraction w/ regard to gambling

lao che

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
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492
many articles on girlschase, and indeed many other 'red pill' articles and podcasts, stress the importance of giving value; having identifiable, achievable goals; positive thinking; affirmations; visualization etc which i absolutely believe and agree with. many of chase's articles, and listening to the artofcharm podcast, gave me a new outlook on life and what is possible. i used to look around and think oh that guy's just lucky or well, he went to xyz school or his parents are rich so that's why he's like that or oh that guy just knows the right people or whatever. before the last few years it hadn't even occurred to me that the power is in one's hands to be whoever one wants to be. girlschase really opened my eyes to many things.

long story short, i have lost my shirt playing poker. i must stress, i never have had a 'gambling problem' but nevertheless i have had a losing problem. a luck problem, we could say.
i've played poker for ten years, more or less. i've studied, practiced and worked at it. and i have lost lost lost and lost.

here is a fictionalized short story i wrote about three years ago which might give you some insight into the depths of my despair -

http://www.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=38180

although i'm not here to advertise my writing. it's not necessary that you read it.

anyway, due to me being a bad-luck magnet i didn't play poker for about three years. i just realized that nothing was ever gonna change and i was always gonna be plain unlucky so it's time to quit, cut my losses and stop chasing the debt. a sunk cost i think they call it in business.
i can't stress enough, poker ruined me. ruined relationships with my friends and girlfriend. ruined my health through smoking and late hours and stress. ruined my bank account. and literally made me feel untouchable, like cursed. i would dread sleeping because of the nightmares, and dread being awake because of how unlucky i was. i feared the worst in every situation, just expected the very worst things to go wrong.

i got my shit together over the last few years, and since i split up with my long suffering girlfriend, almost a year ago, i've never looked back. things were rosy. almost every day i would receive messages informing me of games, which i would ignore.


then some friends had a little small stakes game of poker, which i attended, simply due to one of the friends visiting for a short while, leaving soon. i went to socialize with a buddy. poker was just the backdrop. i played good poker and won a little money. really small stakes, then the bug bit me and i decided that it was time to prove to myself that i'm not the unluckiest motherfucker in the world, give it another go. time for some rungood for this guy.

i decided to go back to the poker room one night last week. terrible run of poker. lost some money. tried again a few nights later. horrendous bad luck. tried again a few nights later and run bad run bad run bad. i won't bore you with the details, but i lost a considerable sum of money over those three sessions.
tonight was the last straw, i told the guy to delete my number, and i've deleted his. i'm never gonna play poker, even sociably, again. the pain it has caused me is beyond description. a literal, physical pain. i genuinely believe that god fucking hates me. i don't even believe in god, or any deity. but man, i know he fucking hates me.

so, i guess, my question is how can the power of positive thought fit in with this? how come some people just have magic vibes of good luck? how come some people are just unlucky? in my experience what goes around does not come around. i mean, i feel like i am putting negativity int'o the universe. i feel like i have been fucked in the ass so many times that the expectation of getting fucked in the ass is actually causing it to happen, law of attraction style. i know that's ridiculous. the cards are in order in the deck. they were shuffled. the order is pre-set. my fears or hopes or visualizing a positive outcome can't change that.

for those of you that don't play poker, here's an analogy.

in front of you are five boxes. four of the boxes contain a hundred dollar bill. the fifth is full of shit. you bet a hundred dollars to put your hand in a box. 4/5 times you will win a hundred dollars. would you take that bet? i take that bet, and i guarantee you i will put my hand into a steaming turd, every time.

this has been my poker career. one big, fat, slimy, hot, very expensive turd.


i dunno. i hope this post is coherent. having a hard time right now. thanks for reading
 
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