The little things come back to bite me in the ass...

[dsdezzy]

I've been reading Chase's articles for roughly a year and a half. I have noticed that for the most part, my interactions have gone a lot better than in the past.

But at the same time, I'm not getting the results that I wish I could. It seems just as things are going smoothly and well, I don't get reply backs from my text messages or they text me back an hour (sometimes hours later, if even that).

If it's not from texting and I'm dancing near/around a group of girls (or a girl), they are clearly receptive to, I ask her to dance or say "let's dance" (with my hand held out, which they usually grab). I'm not sure why, but they kindly decline or say "no" outright. If they do dance with me, it's not for that long and they'll either talk to her friends or leave.

So my questions through this oddly put together post are:

1. What am I doing wrong in the interaction prior to my first text message, and if it isn't that what am I doing wrong in my interaction to get her to not text back?

2. (I'm black, and can dance well, go figure) Why do I struggle to get a girl to dance with me?

 

[Lotus]

dsdezzy

Do you have any more details/examples? It's hard to gather much from the little information you have posted.

If you haven't, i would suggest begining a journal and recording interactions. Once you do that it is much easier to take questions from journals into the boards themselves. I recently started myself and its much easier to self analyze interactions

brum

 

[Tim Iron]

Dancing is one the things that chase says about over providing good feelings. You are better of avoiding the whole dancing stuff and connecting with her so that you can take her back to your apartment or hotel room.

 

[dsdezzy]

On more recent occasions whenever I get a girl's number they are receptive in our interaction, but when I text them I rarely get a reply. Getting a girl to meet me somewhere even seems to be a tall order to ask of.

I do have a journal that I would like to turn into a book one day, to help others in a similar situation. (Sidenote)

As far as texting, what I'm trying to say or ask is what guidelines could I use to increase my success rate?

It seems whenever I attempt to text a girl with outcome independence, but even then my messages seemed flawed and I mentally draw blank on what to text. (I've read the GC articles about it to btw)

As far as dancing goes whenever I dance on the dance floor or wherever it may be, I generate a lot of attention from people (male and female). Whenever I attempt to get a girl to dance with me/ dance with a girl, they either look at me like I'm crazy and use some halfassed excuse to leave or they just decline.

So I ask, why is that?
And it's not like I dance for the attention, but for my own self amusement and enjoyment and appreciation for music.

 

[Tim Iron]

If you dance and people stare... and the girls refuse to dance with you, then tone it down when trying to meet girls (you are not trying to be Usher Raymond at that time) or try to avoid dancing. Just approach the girl instead. Improve your fundamentals, it is a lot more important that most guys realize. (Improving your style of dressing and adding muscles to your arms and chest improves your attractiveness).

As for me, I don't text till I have gotten a date from the girl (I call instead). And I send her text on the morning of our date, something like:

"Hey Linda, Iets meet at tetrazzini bar around 5pm like we agreed?"

Then at 5 pm, I call Linda to tell her I am on my way to tetrazzini bar.

On more recent occasions whenever I get a girl's number they are receptive in our interaction, but when I text them I rarely get a reply. Getting a girl to meet me somewhere even seems to be a tall order to ask of.

I do have a journal that I would like to turn into a book one day, to help others in a similar situation. (Sidenote)

As far as texting, what I'm trying to say or ask is what guidelines could I use to increase my success rate?

It seems whenever I attempt to text a girl with outcome independence, but even then my messages seemed flawed and I mentally draw blank on what to text. (I've read the GC articles about it to btw)

As far as dancing goes whenever I dance on the dance floor or wherever it may be, I generate a lot of attention from people (male and female). Whenever I attempt to get a girl to dance with me/ dance with a girl, they either look at me like I'm crazy and use some halfassed excuse to leave or they just decline.

So I ask, why is that?
And it's not like I dance for the attention, but for my own self amusement and enjoyment and appreciation for music.

 

[ray_zorse]

Tayo is right, I would try to tone the energy down. Dancefloor approaches can be fun, but you should go in with a compliment first, then an introduction by name... ideally, then a few questions about her night etc, and/or where she is from if she seems to have an accent or be obviously foreign (but I might skip this step if the music is very loud)... only then would I tentatively put an arm around her and see if she can move in time to my body. If so, then could turn it a tad more sexual like facing her with all my body, taking both hands in mine, pulling her in by her back, etc.

But if you're trying to get dates there's a fair bit more to it than that. Although I have to ask, why would you be shooting for a date if you're meeting these girls in nightgame, the primary objective is to get them home that very night and fuck them... it's good to propose a date and grab their number soon after meeting them, but this is more for in case you get separated in the club, or if you want to let her do her own thing for a bit and pull her home later...

Anyway, the ticket would be, after you dance with her for a few mins, move her... to another part of the dancefloor away from her friends... then see if you can move her to a table in the main area of the club, or to outside for a smoke, or to the bar to get a drink, or similar... if so, then try to deep dive her somewhere quietish and build a connection... check her logistics, qualify her, et cetera... once you've done these kinds of things you should be in much better shape for having her respond to your texts, or just go home with you, or similar.

-Ray

 

[dsdezzy]

Great advice Tayo and Ray.

To answer your question Ray, I wasn't trying to set up dates at a nightclub. I was referring to day game.

I've just been in a slump for a while and I've tried not to let my frustration not get the best of me. I have grown sick of my lack of success. I don't really know how to handle it from a positive perspective.