Been a lurker here for quite some time and had a thought/observation. But first off, I just want to say that I appreciate Chase et all for the material here. It has been extremely helpful in my growth for the last year or so, especially coming out of a bad situation prior finding this site. In the last year, I’ve pretty much had more progress in terms of pushing the envelope and developing much needed reference points than I have in many previous years combined. Thanks for giving me some much needed insight and balance needed in navigating complex social/girl issues, as well as the nudge I needed to get out of my shell more.
The first theme I learned and applied from here was the counterintuitive notion that moving fast with girls is usually better, and for the last year or so, it’s produced more results (after moving passed some awkwardness) than moving at the snails pace I did before. However, after a few recent experiences, and watching a video last week that a couple of my female friends showed me, I was wondering whether there would be instances either now or in the future where women (or some subclass of them) become privy to men moving TOO fast, either by an overabundance of men using that strategy or from counter advice on the opposite side telling them how to disarm this strategy for their own benefit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUil0lQLaoM
I’m not sure if anyone has read the book “The Red Queen” by Matt Ridley, but its similar to the evolutionary idea in the book about how one side eventually adapts to the other side’s previous adaptation so that a sort of arms race type scenario emerges.
For example, I had one experience where I was chatting up a girl working an ice-cream shop when the store was empty. It seemed like things were going well (e.g. she was complying, moving with me, and giving off positive vibes), but when I asked her out she reluctantly said “but I just met you”, she eventually gave me her number but didn’t respond. About 6 months later after she had left and after I frequented the spot more and made friends with some of the staff, I asked about her and told one of the girls my story (mad idea maybe?). Ironically, she knew what happened from the girl and told me “Oh! She said you were cute but that you came off a little too strong”.
While I’ve had luck getting results that same way with other girls, I’m wondering if in a different scenario, I should have calibrated my approach to move slower with girls that might be more receptive to that pace (e.g. perhaps asking her out the next time I came). For some reason, with more experience, things don’t seem so black and white anymore. Perhaps I’m missing something, curious on your thoughts.
-J
The first theme I learned and applied from here was the counterintuitive notion that moving fast with girls is usually better, and for the last year or so, it’s produced more results (after moving passed some awkwardness) than moving at the snails pace I did before. However, after a few recent experiences, and watching a video last week that a couple of my female friends showed me, I was wondering whether there would be instances either now or in the future where women (or some subclass of them) become privy to men moving TOO fast, either by an overabundance of men using that strategy or from counter advice on the opposite side telling them how to disarm this strategy for their own benefit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUil0lQLaoM
I’m not sure if anyone has read the book “The Red Queen” by Matt Ridley, but its similar to the evolutionary idea in the book about how one side eventually adapts to the other side’s previous adaptation so that a sort of arms race type scenario emerges.
For example, I had one experience where I was chatting up a girl working an ice-cream shop when the store was empty. It seemed like things were going well (e.g. she was complying, moving with me, and giving off positive vibes), but when I asked her out she reluctantly said “but I just met you”, she eventually gave me her number but didn’t respond. About 6 months later after she had left and after I frequented the spot more and made friends with some of the staff, I asked about her and told one of the girls my story (mad idea maybe?). Ironically, she knew what happened from the girl and told me “Oh! She said you were cute but that you came off a little too strong”.
While I’ve had luck getting results that same way with other girls, I’m wondering if in a different scenario, I should have calibrated my approach to move slower with girls that might be more receptive to that pace (e.g. perhaps asking her out the next time I came). For some reason, with more experience, things don’t seem so black and white anymore. Perhaps I’m missing something, curious on your thoughts.
-J
