"The Rise of Ares"

[Aries]

Gentlemen,

Before I begin my journey into the world of relationships and seduction, I shall first give you gents a decent introduction.

Lately, I have a strong feeling that I'm missing something in my life. It feels like I'm settling for a life that is less than the one I'm capable of living.
I do have a great work life, love life and social life and I'm blessed to attend events and activities I really enjoy doing. But the problem is it's all great, not amazing..

But I did not come here to whine and complain, which is not really in my nature either, but to do something about it.
So in order to make my life amazing, I have to work on these different aspects of my life;

- Pickup: I've always had some girls who thought I was cute/sexy/handsome etc. but due to a very naive personality and the fact that I'm easily distracted and easily bored I mostly friendzone these girls on accident.. So I'm trying to read girls interest better and to move faster with the ones who give me signals.
- Love: I'm not against long-term relationships, the only problem is that I'm enjoying my freedom to much to settle for something that could be holding me back. Besides that I'm rather picky, I know what I want although sometimes I fail in going after it. And last bu not least, I'm young, so I wanna try stuff and live my life to it's fullest, with or without someone by my side..
- Character: I tend to be very independent, optimistic, enthusiastic and adventurous person. On the downside I can be very moody, short tempered, self involved and impulsive. As stated above I'm easily distracted and bored, and most of the time I do have a very boyish energy which makes me naive and passionate about stuff. These characteristics can be very sexy, but at the moment I can't really steer this energy and it makes me look very childish. So I'm trying to control this immense energy/passion/vibe I've got and to steer it in a way that it becomes sexy instead of childish.
- Health: Currently I'm living pretty healthy. I exercise regularly, I'm still playing sport and eating and drinking healthy on a regular basis. The only thing I want to improve is my overall physique. I tend to be very slim, and I like to pack up some muscle before summer.
- Mind: To keep things short, I'm a real mess when it comes to organizing and productivity. I'm always in a hurry, I tend to forget important things and my mind is always running in overdrive. I'm trying to meditate so my mind can relax and come at ease, so I can become more productive and organized. I'm also trying to adapt a more minimal, disciplined lifestyle. Which I hope will also become helpful into other aspects of my life.
- Social Life I do have an amazing social circle of like-minded people. The only problem is that it's a relative small circle, and whenever someone's not available to go out you easily end up with just 1 or 2 other members. So I'm trying to expand my current social circle and I'm trying to setup/join some other social circles.

I guess most of you only care about the pickup stuff, after all that's what most of you gents are here for anyway. But for the people who might be interested in the other aspects listed above, I will from time to time mention a few things about these aspects because they're all somehow related to each other.

Before I say goodbye to you gents, I would like to share a quote which made me decide to update my current lifestyle.

If you're unsatisfied with your work life, love life, social life or your whole life, stop taking everyone's useless advice to just "Be Yourself." Yourself is the asshole who got you into this mess. Be the man who has the life you want. Make him up in your head if necessary.

P.S. English isn't my native language, so occasionally some words, phrases or expressions may seem out of place or completely irrelevant. Also, the overall tone and underlying emotions could be lost during translation. For this I apologize in advance, and I hope you can address these little 'mistakes' so I can do something about it.

Comments, support, constructive criticism, compliments and such are always welcome and I look forward to it.

Pax Vobiscum,

Ares

 

[Aries]

The Bad Boy: A Cultural Phenomenon Pt. 1

*NOTE: This written piece comes from self-acquired findings, studies and ideas that I have formed in recent months. This was intended mainly for myself to give my friendly character more edge. During the writing and research, I increasingly got the idea that the bad boy character is often incorrectly misinterpreted. I found out that many people have the potential to be a little bad boy but that there is a misperception about the bad boy. Because of this misperception, most men try to adapt characteristics without knowing why the bad boy character even has these characteristics.. I've made some sort of summary for myself, which might be useful for other members of the forum who wish to give their character more edge. I do not consider myself as a stereotypical bad boy, but I do have some characteristics some might call 'bad'
TL;DR There is a short recap at the end of this post*

Intro
Think of a bad boy - of any figure that this term calls to mind - and now try to define this term. If we are to believe the stereotypes you'll see a daredevil with a leather jacket or denim jacket and sunglasses riding a motorcycle. Even though this seems a fairly accurate picture of how the bad boy is presented in the current mainstream media, this is only a very one-dimensional reflection of this complex character. To make matters worse, this one-dimensional character is misrepresented in current mainstream media. Instead of the rebel character from which the bad boy has emerged, and from which his character and appearance can be explained, he is now put down as an asshole whose sole purpose it is to manipulate,deceive and piss people off. Even though this character is a part of the bad boy persona, it starts to slowly oppress the other (much interessting) characteristics of the bad boy persona. We totally ignore the inner motives and just looking at the external characteristics, making the bad boy look like the bad guy instead of the anti-hero role. That's why today I show the underexposed side of the bad boy. I try to identify the inner motives and thoughts of the bad boy so to get a better understanding of what the bad boy character really is.
And maybe, with this better understanding of the bad boy, help people adapt certain characteristics to give their character more edge.

Orgins of the current bad boy
The bad boy stereotype in current mainstream media is derived directly from the 50s rebel character. With cultural icons like James Dean and Marlon Brando playing rebellious teenagers, this was the beginning of the bad boy persona as we know him today in all sorts of artistic mediums (litertature and films). In these years, the bad boy was part of the rebel character, and many of today's characteristics and appearance of the bad boy can be withdrawn from the rebel character from the 50s.

James Dean and his motorcycle

The bad boy is generally an appealing figure that excites us in some way. Although there is no single concise definition of the bad boy he is usually attractive: either physically or through his actions or his lifestyle.

It is very unfortunate that the bad boy persona has turned into a caricature of itself. By focusing on the external characteristics (clothing and resist society) we moved past the inner motivation of this persona (questioning society and its rules).

But the bad boy isn't just a 50s movie persona. The bad boy persona appears in in all sorts of artistic mediums (though most prevalently in literature and film) and different periods of time. The classic bad boy figures can be found in almost every period of social uprising (like the 50s were) and are deemed liberators and instigators of cultural and social reform as inimical to the society they are attempting to change. So to define the term "bad boy" it requires to be examined from multiple perspectives, acknowledged in its multiple forms, and understood within its distinct cultural meanings.
The bad boy is a cultural phenomenon that exists as an archetype in all sorts of artistic mediums, , and even in the real world. The bad boy is defined through his actions and his philosophy of resistance - of challenging the world (ours or his own) on the normalcy of its convictions. The bad boy therefore needs to be understood as a social, psychological, and imaginative/creative cultural phenomenon. Which brings us to..

Orgins of the archtype bad boy
Now we know all about where the present day bad boy originates from, we can dive deeper into this rebellious character.

James Dean reading

Allthough the general use of the term "bad boy" erroneously labels them all identically, bad boys fall into several disparate categories.
*DISCLAIMER: There is now a very large piece of text with very little useful content. If you really want to read futher, be me guest.
Tl;dr nothing interesting really..

• The Revolutionary
  The Revolutionary feels a strong pull toward righting wrongs. This type views the world and societies as unfair and unjust. The Revolutionary is not afraid of upheaval but actually finds it stimulating and encouraging. The potential for reform and transformation drives this archetype. The Revolutionary is also talented at seeing things in unique and thought provoking ways and are often natural leaders.This type can be also motivated by revenge, authority, power and control. The Revolutionary is not just political although that is the most common. They are also writers, artists, inventors and others who have done ground-breaking work that radically changes things.
  
  The Troublemaker
  The Troublemaker is often labeled the “bad boy or girl” and trouble seems to follow this type. This variant of the rebel archetype is often viewed only negatively and, while its reputation is well deserved, the Troublemaker has some excellent qualities. While this type enjoys “rocking the boat” disrupting the status quo and provoking others, this can also be used to keep a relationship from becoming stagnant, for example. The Troublemaker is not afraid of the change that results from chaos and agitation. Change is a welcome relief for the Troublemaker archetype. By keeping things unsettled and stirred up, his type is useful for maintaining integrity of others and bringing to light corruption and decay. The shadow can be an anarchist, creating chaos for the sense of power it provides. Similar to an arsonist who starts fires and then enjoys watching the chaos that ensues, the shadow Troublemaker makes trouble and then steps back to enjoy the show.
  
  The Provocateur
  The Provocateur tends to be the intellectual, challenging others with words and causing others to think about their own ideas more deeply. These types are thinkers and can make excellent motivational speakers. They see situations and problems from a different perspective than most, challenging others to think outside the box. This makes them good problem solvers and effective debaters. They feel compelled to rouse others from complacency or conformity. The shadow side enjoys making others uncomfortable for their own amusement and likes the shock value of being different or edgy. They enjoy having the upper hand, using their wit and natural intelligence to keep others confused. They love the role of Devil’s Advocate.
  
  The Free Spirit
  The Free Spirit lives by their own rules and loves to be different and free from the constraints of the status quo and acceptability. This type often dresses outlandishly or uses tattoos and hair dye to set them apart from others. They thrive on standing out of crowd. Driven by their own compass they neither rely upon nor look to others for how to live their life. They are spontaneous and independent making this type difficult to parent because they have an aversion to routines, rules and regulations. The shadow side is obnoxious, needs constant attention and is fickle and unreliable. They can be indifferent to the needs of others and how their behaviors impact others. They may find holding down a job, or remaining in relationships a real trial.
  
  The Maverick
  The Maverick is perfectly fine doing things on their own and without the support of others. This type tends to be quiet about their ideas and unlike the free spirit they don’t need to show the whole world how different they are. The Maverick has a confidence and security with who they are. They can go against the grain, say what needs to be said without worry what others will think and are more than prepared to stand alone in their convictions. They live by their own moral code. In the shadow this moral code can be one of revenge or law-breaking. They can also be rigid, inflexible and loners. It may be difficult for this type to be a team player or to be an effective leader. Working with others and learning to negotiate is not this type’s strength. Leave them alone and don’t cross them. Like all Rebel types they tend to hold lifelong grudges against those who have wronged them.
  
  The Outsider/Misfit
  Similar to the free spirit, the outsider enjoys the perspective of being the dissenting voice, and having an outsiders view. They feel like they are too different to belong anywhere and that the status quo is the worst kind of prison. They are always doing the unexpected. This type can be eccentric, odd and offbeat. They secretly longs to fit in but once accepted finds the experience to be stifling. The Outsider/Misfit archetype shares some similarities with the Orphan Child archetype. The Outsider or Misfit type will sometimes appear to be tough or unfeeling because always being on the outside or unable to fit in anywhere can be a challenge. This type struggles with loneliness and will often neglect the development of their potential or always highlighting their different-ness to set themselves above others. The light side includes, being unconventional and offering perspectives that can solve problems, inventive or being highly creative.
  
  The Outlaw
  The Outlaw is another type of the Rebel archetype. With a “rules are made to be broken attitude” this type, like the others, lives on the edge and is willing to defy authority figures that make laws that are unjust. They are unafraid of confrontations and can even enjoy the notoriety. The outlaw has an internal sense of right and wrong that supersedes societal expectations. The legend of Robin Hood is an example of breaking the laws that are deemed unfair and dispensing justice on one’s one. The shadow side can feel justified in resorting to violence or simply enjoys the thrill of breaking laws and going against authority without any purpose or breaking the law for personal gains.
  
  The Reformer
  The reformer feels a strong need to make changes in a world that is sorely in need of improvement. Unafraid of change and upheaval the reformer sees the value of disturbing the peace. This type is driven to improve the world beginning with their own lives. The tend to work on themselves constantly improving what can be improved. They also seek to improve the lives of others. This can be expressed in small ways such as becoming a physical therapist and helping to reform a broken body or in large ways such as leading campaigns against laws that are unjust. The reformer is willing to defy authority, leave their home and family to fulfill their goals of reform and social improvement. Any social movement such as the Civil Rights Movement, the Women’s Rights Movement, the Temperance Movement of the 1800′s all had reformers in their ranks. The shadow side can include being an extremist, narrow or single-mindedness to the point of becoming indifferent to the consequences and stubbornness.

However, these distinct types of bad boys do share a common feature: their role as liberators in society. Bad boys can catalyze liberation on many different levels, ranging from the sociopolitical to the intrapersonal. How a bad boy is defined as a liberator is entirely based on his world view. This determines the bad boy's course of action: he may lash out as an act of resistance or rebellion against society, or instead shut himself away and become a luminary for the those who admire him and guide them towards revolutionary thought. The bad boy's critical view reveals how they react to their surroundings and to society itself: it determines whether they challenge society head on or from the shadows, whether they protest with elaborate speeches or Molotov cocktails, and whether they are remembered as renowned public heroes or controversial social outlaws. It varies with each individual bad boy: some may not even have the conviction to state outright their desires for emancipation. Instead, their goals may be disguised in a comedic form allowing for plausible deniability of statements they make or actions they commit that society finds completely intolerable.

The bad boy is in a constant state of turmoil: he is at war with himself, a war that both isolates him and works to erode his sanity. He resists his norms and he fights against his own emotions and conscience. This struggle takes a hefty toll on the bad boy, pushes him past his limits, and wears him down physically and mentally. This sort of resistance is prevalent in all aspects of the bad boy's life since even he resists himself. To "bad boy" is therefore to embody resistance.

Bad boys challenge us to admit that changes are necessary but they can also indicate that current social norms should remain unchanged. Whether they are loved or hated by the public or even cause a social divide, these figures succeed in drawing attention to social issues and providing commentary on them.

Recap
The bad boy is in my opinion a misunderstood character. Instead of the rebel character from which the bad boy has emerged, and from which his character and appearance can be explained, he is now put down as an asshole whose sole purpose it is to manipulate,deceive and piss people off. Even though this character is a part of the bad boy persona, it starts to slowly oppress the other (much interessting) characteristics of the bad boy persona. We totally ignore the inner motives and just looking at the external characteristics, making the bad boy look like the bad guy instead of the anti-hero role.

The bad boy is a cultural phenomenon that exists as an archetype in all sorts of artistic mediums, , and even in the real world. The bad boy is defined through his actions and his philosophy of resistance - of challenging the world (ours or his own) on the normalcy of its convictions. The bad boy persona is rebellious, but with a purpose. He is there to liberate society, or at least open their eyes. He's bad.. but bad for a reason, or in other words:

“Damon: "If you're going to be bad, be bad with a purpose or else you're not worth forgiving.”

Comments, support, constructive criticism, compliments and such are always welcome and I look forward to it.

Pax Vobiscum,

Ares

* P.S. As already said, English is not my native language. So occasionally some words, phrases or expressions may seem out of place or completely irrelevant. Also, the overall tone and underlying emotions could be lost during translation. For this I apologize in advance.
Also If anybody likes to add his findings feel free to post, this is just my humble opinion/view on the bad boy persona..
I'm planning on doing a part two, so I hope on some constructive criticism to make part 2 much better. Thank you all!

 

[Aries]

Re: The Bad Boy: A Cultural Phenomenon Pt. 2

*NOTE: This written piece comes from self-acquired findings, studies and ideas that I have formed in recent months. This was intended mainly for myself to give my friendly character more edge. During the writing and research, I increasingly got the idea that the bad boy character is often incorrectly misinterpreted. I found out that many people have the potential to be a little bad boy but that there is a misperception about the bad boy. Because of this misperception, most men try to adapt characteristics without knowing why the bad boy character even has these characteristics.. I've made some sort of summary for myself, which might be useful for other members of the forum who wish to give their character more edge. I do not consider myself as a stereotypical bad boy, but I do have some characteristics some might call 'bad'


Intro
In my last post I talked about the origins of the bad boy persona. After re-reading my previous post, I came to the conclusion that the whole post was rather long-winded and sometimes boring. Today, I will try to make this post less boring and tedious, and I'm going to make an almost step by step guide that you can use to awaken your inner bad boy. In this post I'm going to deal with two aspects of the bad boy: The inner aspects (mindset & motives) en the outer aspects (style & fundamentals).

Inner aspects
As said in my previous post, the bad boy serves the role of liberator in society. Not the kind of liberator that climbs the barricades and yells "Viva la Franche!" but more of a liberator on the intrapersonal level. They're the ones who stand out in a crowd, the breath of fresh air in a warm and dull room. They've an air of adventure, they're exciting and they've just the right amount of rebellion inside them to be likable. A bad boy can be loud and charismatic, he can be introverted and brooding or just a regular guy who carries himself better then the rest. Point is, these guys capture your attention and hold it, making you wonder what they've got that you don't. Two meaningless words (maybe three) my friend: Confidence & Abundance/Freedom

(If you're still wondering why you should be a little more bad boy, or why girls go nuts over bad boys I highly suggest to read Chase's brilliant article Why Girls Like Bad Boys. And specifically the part where he describes the day of an average young woman.)

George Clooney standing out in the crowd

Now that we know that we have to be confident and have some sort of abundance, we all could be a little more bad boy, right?
The answer is more complex than that. First of all, you only mimic the external characteristics without knowing the inner motivation.
And second, without knowing the inner motivation you'll look try-hard, which is bad.. and not the good kind of bad.

So how do you acquire some of the bad boy characteristics without looking try-hard? It's no rocket science, but it requires some hard work and you will have to tweak your character. This could make you feel more confident, make you stand more firmer in your shoes. But at the price that you will piss some people of and that not everyone will like you. But if you ask me, I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. So are you guys ready to dive in the rabbit hole?

Create your own reality
The bad boy lives in his own reality. Not the kind of Alice in Wonderland kind of reality, more of a altered version of our society where everything is more straight forward and simpler. For example: Steve Jobs had something his co-workers called a reality distortion field. When someone entered his so called 'field' he or she came under the influence of Steve his charm, charisma, bravado, hyperbole, marketing, appeasement and persistence. This 'field' distort an audience's sense of proportion and scales of difficulties and made them believe that the task at hand was possible.
(This field, or bubble, is also something that occurs in conversations between people where they forget time and the presence of other people.)

This field or bubble is what makes bad boys so appealing. You get sucked into their reality, where you and the bad boy know something the rest of the world doesn't. So how do you create such a field? For starters (myself included) learn to, and handle, your vibe:

• Changing your vibe.
  Learn to be edgy.
  Learn to be smooth.
  Learn to be sexy.
  Learn to have an attitude.

Also recommended are Ricardus articles about the success factor.

Set your own morals
Because of his different world view the bad boy also has a different set of core values and morals. These values and morals may largely correspond to the values and morals of society, or may be the exact opposite. Whatever it may be, the bad boy stands firm when it comes to his personal values and morals, and will (almost) never back down for anybody. If you wanna know this guy you'll have to accept his kind of reality, because he'll never accept yours. So how do you create your personal morals and values? Honestly, that's all up to you. Like I said, it are your personal morals and values. All I can do is give you some pointers on what to think about. Do you think honesty is important? Do you think you come first and the rest of the world comes second. Do you care about what other people are thinking of you? Do you demand respect from everyone? Take some time and really start thinking what you tolerate and what you don't tolerate from people. Then live up to these personal morals and values. And don't be a hypocrite, if you think honesty is important and everyone should speak the truth, so should you! Also, when someone should break one of your morals or values you will have to stand by your morals and take appropriate action. Tell the person you do not accept such behavior and he shouldn't do it again. Set some hard rules for yourself of what you'll tolerate and what you won't and also set some hard rules when someone does violate your morals. One problem with nice guys is that they are nice to everyone - even people who aren't nice back. We are all taught to turn the other cheek. In some cases, unfortunately, this only encourages jerks. Don't reward bad behavior. Be nice to people who deserve it. Remember, being nice to someone mean won't make them like you. Surround yourself with good people who have earned your trust and respect.

• What to do when someone violates your morals.
  Set some hard rules for yourself.
  Learn to deal with disruptive men.
  Learn to deal with interruptions.

Live by your morals
What is the reason that so many people fail to establish their goals. A lack of discipline and a lack of perseverance. Once you've determined your morals and values, and you set some pretty hard rules for those who dare to violate them, you have to live by them 24/7. You have to accept the fact that you will piss some people off. There will be people saying you have changed in a bad way, or that you've become an asshole. Learn to accept the fact that people will always judge you, no matter what you do. Learn to make yourself and your life priority number one. When you treat yourself like you're important, other people, including women, will see you as important too.

Robert Downey JR: Listen, Smile, Agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.

When you decide to threat your life as your number one priority you will automatically become more confident. You don't live for the approval of others, only for your own approval. You have your own time, your own dreams, and your own plans, and you should almost never compromise them to make someone else happy (romantic interest or not). You'll become more decisive because the only person you have to take into account is you. A bad boy realizes that he knows himself better than anyone else, thus, his opinion about himself is above the opinion of others. It comes down to having self respect, and you must earn your own self respect before you can expect others, especially girls, to respect you.

• Learn to be happy with an unconventional live.
  Be part of the 'secret society'.
  Learn to handle social control.
  Learn to have real freedom of choice.

Live for a greater cause
Ever notice that a bad boy character in movies or literature never has a 9-5 job, sitting inside a cubicle working his ass of behind a computer. Such a job would likely kill them. They don't like to perform passionless tasks. The word passion is key here, because everything the bad boy does is with passion.That's why most of the bad boys you read about are painters, musicians or just runaways who live from paycheck to paycheck. They're passionate about something and they don't care what others think. This doesn't mean you'll have to quit your job and start painting (unless that's your livelong dream, in that case be my guest).

Pablo Picasso

It means you'll have to (re)-find your passions. What is your live long dream? Are you getting excited about traveling and learning about other cultures? Are you someone who'll appreciate all the beautiful things surrounding him? Or is your lifelong dream to earn the next Nobel price? It doesn't matter where you're passionate about, as long as you have that deep burning desire to complete your dream. A example of how passion can redefine modern culture would be (again) Steve Jobs and the Macintosh. Steve Jobs had such a deep rooted desire to make the Macintosh a success. He exceeded the budget, he delivered the final product months later than planned, firing people who didn't share his vision and perfectionism towards the product. Afterwards he was hated by thousands of people and fired from his own company. But in the end, Steve got the status of an legend because of his deep burning desire to complete his dream. So how can you have such a deep burning passion about something?

• Find where you're passionate about and try to master it.
  Talk with passion about your passions.
  Develop some grid.

And afterwards reread the article about edge again.

Become the outsider woman adore
Have you ever seen a bad boy who was some weak, supplicating nice guy? Me neither..
Bad boys are naturally nomads, they always play to win and are very dominating. This is mainly because of their own reality in which they live.
They don't have time to enter complex social circle, engage in some stupid social ladder climbing to see who's the bigger man. They already know they're the bigger man, so why waste time their value time to prove what they'll already know? They rather enter a group, come of as strong and dominating, obtain what they were going for and then leave.

The Law of Least Effort and Sprezzatura come naturally to them. Why would they go out of their way to please anybody besides themselves? People should go out of their way to please them. This is especially true if someone tries to infiltrate your own reality. Why would you live inside a reality where everyone's unhappy and some rule following sheep? A bad boy rather stays inside his own reality where things are better. When someone wanna get to know the bad boy, they have to accept his reality.

If you've read all the above mentioned points, reread all the linked articles, you'll have a pretty firm grasp on the bad boys dominating behavior. But it can never hurt to re-read some articles.

• Become the Alpha male, or beter.
  Become dominant and start winning.
  Develop an interesting persona.

Recap
After reading this piece I'd hope you'll have a better understanding of the bad boys inner motives and mindsets. It all comes down to the bad boy and his role as the liberator on the intrapersonal level. They don't care about the sociopolitical, that's the rebel his territory. They'd rather focus on themselves and their life. If you wanna be a little more bad boy you'll have to create your own personal reality, with your own rules,morals and values. You'll have to live by these rules and morals, and act accordingly to people who are violating them. It also means that you'll become more self centered. You take your own path and work towards your personal goals and ambitions with a deep rooted passion and burning desire. In essence, the bad boy is someone who's just a breath of fresh air.. inside a warm and dull room..


Comments, support, constructive criticism, compliments and such are always welcome and I look forward to it.

Pax Vobiscum,

Ares