- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,222
Some background:
I lost my virginity at 16 to some emo girl I knew in high school, IMO she was above average looking. Was never really a part of the "in crowd" in high school or even in college. Went through college mainly dating international students and a couple of girls that were not a part of the in crowd but still above average looking. When it came to the girls that were a part of the hot cliques (cheerleaders and sororities) I had no luck and these were the cliques with the hottest girls in them. Then I finished college, kept on working on my game, and have been out of college for a few years now. My lay count has gone up and I have been in a few relationships with girls that were above average looking. Right now I am in a relationship with a beautiful girl that is just my type and the kind of girl I would not have been able to get back in college.
Over time I have seen some things that I think are important but only lightly touched upon by seduction sites. Reading some of these things will go against the highly optimistic view that people hold about attracting women that are hot, initially depress you, but what you will find is that to some extent, a lot of this is under your control but most seduction material refuses to acknowledge this key piece of advice.
The take home message is that growing up, luck rolled in these guy's favor and they made some key lifestyle choices which you probably didn't make or never had the chance to make, which is why you are where you are at now.
Now lets get to it.
Society and pickup advice tells you all sorts of things to get the hottest girls such as having "top notch" game and all sorts of other gimmicks. We envision the guy who gets hot girls as someone who has the looks of Brad Pitt, the charm of James Bond, a six figure salary, and is well read. Guys like that are probably less then 1 percent of the population in any given country and most of the guys consistently getting hot girls are not like that. What I have seen with guys that get hot girls is that:
- they have looks that are above average but aren't necessary remarkable (more fit and muscular than the average joe but not necessarily a christian bale when it comes to face)
- they don't have top tier game but aren't social retards that come off as aspies either
- behind the smokes and mirrors they are just normal guys
So what sets them apart?
As much as we want to deny it, these guys aren't that different from your average joe, what they did is that they made a few key lifestyle choices which made it possible for them to be a part of the same circle as these hot girls. Growing up these guys had hobbies or activities which put them near a lot of attractive girls their age. I am talking summer jobs at fancy restaurants or life guards. When it came to college, these guys did activities which put them near hot girls. Many of them were in groups that hot girls were in or just did activities which put them around these girls often. A main one that comes to mind is being in a fraternity.
Now lets talk about the frat boy and why I love to use him as an example.
Most frat boys I knew in college that were dating hot girls were:
- mostly average looking with some exceptions (some of them looked like dorks but some of them were prettyboys)
- not that charismatic
So what put gave them the edge over others? These guys were in the same social world and did not suffer from being socially awkward or hideously ugly. Just by being so well connected, being around a lot of hot girls, having some basics of game (being able to talk to girls and escalate), and not being hideously ugly they constantly had hot girls in their lives. Here you have a guy that is by no means James Bond doing well with hot girls because he made a key lifestyle choice and was in an environment (college) that had a lot of hot girls who he had access too. All the while you had good looking guys, intelligent guys with a promising future, and charismatic guys who could not get those hot girls and spent their weekends playing videogames.
In summary this is what the frat boy had that you probably don't.
- he is in an environment with a lot of hot girls
- he gets used to being around them for a long time
- he is a part of their social world (greek life)
- he has the social skills and circumstances to be able to get them (some game but not necessary a don juan)
- he is slightly above average looking (something most of us can achieve)
So what can we learn from the frat boy example that can be applied to our very own lives?
We think that we have to be this character out of a romance novel to get hot girls consistently when the problem is WE DON'T GIVE OURSELVES ENOUGH CREDIT. The main thing that separates the average "player" from the dork (80 percent of men that don't get laid that often, especially not by hot girls) is mostly key lifestyle choices that the player made growing up which put him around a lot of hot girls that most of us did not make. We think that by being some well traveled guy that has read books that we can please a girl with our story, hot girls don't care about that.
Hot girls don't care if you are some well read and educated guy who has traveled to many places because they are hot girls, they will reject you and laugh off the idea of being with you, they only care about the following.
1. Are you a part of their social world? (if not, then you won't have much success)
2. Do you have basic social and seduction skills to be with them?
3. Do you pass their looks standards? (just don't be fat, have a decent looking body, and dress like how guys in their social world dress, you should be alright)
That is all there is to it. I know we want to look deeper but those things alone will get hot girls into your life. Which is why I don't see the point behind making yourself into a more attractive man by reading some useless literature or trying to be interesting, it is a waste of time! If you aren't doing things that put you near hot girls, then you won't get hot girls. It is that simple. Don't be surprised if you have finished grad school and are watching porn on a Friday night while the guy who works at a bar and found high school too hard is sleeping with the hot girl that you and your friends had their eyes on. It happens all the fucking time.
The thing about it all is that overtime this can be achieved but there is hardly any seduction material out there that talks about it, just a bunch of game gimmicks and all that nonsense.
I am not saying "game" doesn't matter, but after a certain point it just doesn't mean anything. In fact after a certain point you will come off as a creep who is desperate to get laid rather than the natural we are all trying to be.
So what can you do to be that guy?
It bothers me that we rarely talk about it and there is hardly any talk about it out there so I am going to be the first one to mention it, I feel like it deserves more talk.
1. Make it your goal to pick the right location (city or town) and find a way to be there. Travel around, do some research, etc. This is by far the most important thing you can do once you have covered the basics (decent looks and some game).
You won't get lots of hot girls by being in some small town in Texas or rust belt town. Some big cities have bad ratios and a terrible dating culture which means that hot girls cannot easily be found. Other cities just don't have that many hot girls. Cities that you should look into are: Montreal, Miami, Los Angeles, San Diego, Dallas, and New York City.
2. Pursue hobbies that will tend to attract hot girls and ones that you can tolerate.
Yoga, Dance Class (where I met my current girlfriend!), or whatever hobbies that might be there. Ones that can put you into access with a lot of hot girls and make you a part of their world so that you are there for the same reason a them.
3. Build a lifestyle conducted to attracting these women by constantly putting yourself into situations where you get to be a part of their world . Instead of hitting on the hot girl that is promoting an event, go to the event itself and meet people.
This is where seduction material comes in. Having just BASIC game is ENOUGH, hit the gym so you can look alright without a shirt on, dress to fit in to the crowd (peacocking is dumb), and constantly find a way to be a part of circles that attract hot girls. Instead of hitting on the
Its okay to read good books or travel to a place you never been to before but do that for yourself, not because you want to impress girls. Continue to build yourself and do what makes you happy but just remember that it will not make you a catch to a lot of these hot girls you want.
I lost my virginity at 16 to some emo girl I knew in high school, IMO she was above average looking. Was never really a part of the "in crowd" in high school or even in college. Went through college mainly dating international students and a couple of girls that were not a part of the in crowd but still above average looking. When it came to the girls that were a part of the hot cliques (cheerleaders and sororities) I had no luck and these were the cliques with the hottest girls in them. Then I finished college, kept on working on my game, and have been out of college for a few years now. My lay count has gone up and I have been in a few relationships with girls that were above average looking. Right now I am in a relationship with a beautiful girl that is just my type and the kind of girl I would not have been able to get back in college.
Over time I have seen some things that I think are important but only lightly touched upon by seduction sites. Reading some of these things will go against the highly optimistic view that people hold about attracting women that are hot, initially depress you, but what you will find is that to some extent, a lot of this is under your control but most seduction material refuses to acknowledge this key piece of advice.
The take home message is that growing up, luck rolled in these guy's favor and they made some key lifestyle choices which you probably didn't make or never had the chance to make, which is why you are where you are at now.
Now lets get to it.
Society and pickup advice tells you all sorts of things to get the hottest girls such as having "top notch" game and all sorts of other gimmicks. We envision the guy who gets hot girls as someone who has the looks of Brad Pitt, the charm of James Bond, a six figure salary, and is well read. Guys like that are probably less then 1 percent of the population in any given country and most of the guys consistently getting hot girls are not like that. What I have seen with guys that get hot girls is that:
- they have looks that are above average but aren't necessary remarkable (more fit and muscular than the average joe but not necessarily a christian bale when it comes to face)
- they don't have top tier game but aren't social retards that come off as aspies either
- behind the smokes and mirrors they are just normal guys
So what sets them apart?
As much as we want to deny it, these guys aren't that different from your average joe, what they did is that they made a few key lifestyle choices which made it possible for them to be a part of the same circle as these hot girls. Growing up these guys had hobbies or activities which put them near a lot of attractive girls their age. I am talking summer jobs at fancy restaurants or life guards. When it came to college, these guys did activities which put them near hot girls. Many of them were in groups that hot girls were in or just did activities which put them around these girls often. A main one that comes to mind is being in a fraternity.
Now lets talk about the frat boy and why I love to use him as an example.
Most frat boys I knew in college that were dating hot girls were:
- mostly average looking with some exceptions (some of them looked like dorks but some of them were prettyboys)
- not that charismatic
So what put gave them the edge over others? These guys were in the same social world and did not suffer from being socially awkward or hideously ugly. Just by being so well connected, being around a lot of hot girls, having some basics of game (being able to talk to girls and escalate), and not being hideously ugly they constantly had hot girls in their lives. Here you have a guy that is by no means James Bond doing well with hot girls because he made a key lifestyle choice and was in an environment (college) that had a lot of hot girls who he had access too. All the while you had good looking guys, intelligent guys with a promising future, and charismatic guys who could not get those hot girls and spent their weekends playing videogames.
In summary this is what the frat boy had that you probably don't.
- he is in an environment with a lot of hot girls
- he gets used to being around them for a long time
- he is a part of their social world (greek life)
- he has the social skills and circumstances to be able to get them (some game but not necessary a don juan)
- he is slightly above average looking (something most of us can achieve)
So what can we learn from the frat boy example that can be applied to our very own lives?
We think that we have to be this character out of a romance novel to get hot girls consistently when the problem is WE DON'T GIVE OURSELVES ENOUGH CREDIT. The main thing that separates the average "player" from the dork (80 percent of men that don't get laid that often, especially not by hot girls) is mostly key lifestyle choices that the player made growing up which put him around a lot of hot girls that most of us did not make. We think that by being some well traveled guy that has read books that we can please a girl with our story, hot girls don't care about that.
Hot girls don't care if you are some well read and educated guy who has traveled to many places because they are hot girls, they will reject you and laugh off the idea of being with you, they only care about the following.
1. Are you a part of their social world? (if not, then you won't have much success)
2. Do you have basic social and seduction skills to be with them?
3. Do you pass their looks standards? (just don't be fat, have a decent looking body, and dress like how guys in their social world dress, you should be alright)
That is all there is to it. I know we want to look deeper but those things alone will get hot girls into your life. Which is why I don't see the point behind making yourself into a more attractive man by reading some useless literature or trying to be interesting, it is a waste of time! If you aren't doing things that put you near hot girls, then you won't get hot girls. It is that simple. Don't be surprised if you have finished grad school and are watching porn on a Friday night while the guy who works at a bar and found high school too hard is sleeping with the hot girl that you and your friends had their eyes on. It happens all the fucking time.
The thing about it all is that overtime this can be achieved but there is hardly any seduction material out there that talks about it, just a bunch of game gimmicks and all that nonsense.
I am not saying "game" doesn't matter, but after a certain point it just doesn't mean anything. In fact after a certain point you will come off as a creep who is desperate to get laid rather than the natural we are all trying to be.
So what can you do to be that guy?
It bothers me that we rarely talk about it and there is hardly any talk about it out there so I am going to be the first one to mention it, I feel like it deserves more talk.
1. Make it your goal to pick the right location (city or town) and find a way to be there. Travel around, do some research, etc. This is by far the most important thing you can do once you have covered the basics (decent looks and some game).
You won't get lots of hot girls by being in some small town in Texas or rust belt town. Some big cities have bad ratios and a terrible dating culture which means that hot girls cannot easily be found. Other cities just don't have that many hot girls. Cities that you should look into are: Montreal, Miami, Los Angeles, San Diego, Dallas, and New York City.
2. Pursue hobbies that will tend to attract hot girls and ones that you can tolerate.
Yoga, Dance Class (where I met my current girlfriend!), or whatever hobbies that might be there. Ones that can put you into access with a lot of hot girls and make you a part of their world so that you are there for the same reason a them.
3. Build a lifestyle conducted to attracting these women by constantly putting yourself into situations where you get to be a part of their world . Instead of hitting on the hot girl that is promoting an event, go to the event itself and meet people.
This is where seduction material comes in. Having just BASIC game is ENOUGH, hit the gym so you can look alright without a shirt on, dress to fit in to the crowd (peacocking is dumb), and constantly find a way to be a part of circles that attract hot girls. Instead of hitting on the
Its okay to read good books or travel to a place you never been to before but do that for yourself, not because you want to impress girls. Continue to build yourself and do what makes you happy but just remember that it will not make you a catch to a lot of these hot girls you want.
