The truth about social life, dating and making friends.

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I don't visit this site as often as I used to because life has thrown a lot on my plate and there is even more I have to get done. Then again, this is one of the few community centered sites I do visit because it led to the biggest transformation of my entire life in terms of women. Back in 2014 I came to this site as a hopelessly depressed guy down on his luck in terms of women and dating, not to mention a social outcast that was never a part of any of the cool popular crowds. Needless to say, I left college with a lot of regret that haunted me at least for a couple years after graduation and at times drove me to the brink of insanity. Lately, I have discovered a truth around social life and age which I want to share with you guys.

Like a lot of other angry younger guys, I remember hating and wishing the worst on the kids who had it easy growing up, were popular, had it all handed to them in life, and were showing off their social popularity on Instagram. I remember the hatred I felt towards the "in crowd" in college which consisted of hot girls and the douchebag with a backwards hat who was making out with them at bars or dating them. The friends he had compared to the lack of cool friends I had, the mentality of feeling like they are a part of some exclusive club while I am a peasant. Knowing how lucky he was to have good parents, easy circumstances, and a lot of things in his favor growing up to get him to that point; a lot of guys in my situation have felt that.

The sight of going out at night and seeing guys and hot girls in a big mixed group, wondering what they have that you do not.

In some ways, it's true. Life is unfair and some guys get dealt a much better hand growing up than others do. The truth is your predicament is not entirely your fault.

Some guys have the rich wealthy loving parents who spoil them, send them to the schools in the nicest areas, pay for their college, and push them to be social early. If you meet a lot of the frat guy prototypes, they are typically the upper middle class kids from suburbia who grew up in nice homes and went to college to have fun. Then you have guys who have abusive parents, stunted social development, poverty, and didn't grow up in the nice fun neighborhoods. One day, the two different paths in life meet each other in college or at some point in their twenties to find how unfair life can be. How one guy had it all growing up and is in a better situation now and how the other had to fight for everything and is still in a tougher spot socially because he didn't have it handed to him growing up. The latter, most likely, ended up on sites like this.

So here is the truth of the cool social life you are angry about not having as well as making the cool friends you always wanted.

Dating all the way back to high school, it mostly did revolve around getting hot girls. Cool guys wanted cool friends who they could brag about knowing so that way, girls would want to associate with them even more. I have talked to more than a handful of fraternity guys who were in cool houses that told me a lot of that stuff revolved around the popularity contest for validation and getting the attention of hot girls, including the hottest sororities. Granted some of these guys had a genuine bond such as playing on the same sports team but for the most part, a lot of that stuff revolved around moving upwards and getting the attention of hot girls. I have known one too many stories of guys who turned on a brother because they felt he jeopardized their chances of meeting attractive women.

For some guys who grew up in a rich family, this came naturally as other rich kids felt safer being friends with them compared to some poor kid wanting to leech their resources and less wealthy kids wanted to associate with them due to status. Once again, money talks (albeit in an indirect way) and bullshit walks. The fraternity guys in college? Usually the kids from wealthy families whose dads had real money, naturally girls gravitated towards them rather than the poor kid flipping burgers to pay for tuition. Getting where I am starting to go with this?

One of the easiest ways to improve your social life is to actually have cute girls in your life that genuinely like you, as in actually want to go out with you to events and are comfortable bringing you around their friends.

Ever notice how the hottest girls seem to be socially well-connected? They have the access to the coolest parties, nicest events, and a lot of the exclusive stuff most people do not. Ever since I started going out with more than one girl to an event or to a bar, I slowly started to notice that social life happened a lot more easily. Sometimes other couples wanted to befriend us and sometimes we came across other girls who wanted to get to know us. Sometimes those girls and couples knew of a good party going down or a nice event happening that we would be unaware of. Sometimes they knew cool people who we could meet and be introduced to.

But I do warn you, many times you will run into guys whose only purpose is to poach hot girls from you.

It just happens and is a part of life, our gender was made that way which is why I believe most men are not your friends. With that said, some men are your friends and have good intentions, they are just cool fun-loving guys who want friends and cool people in their lives. Eventually you will start to get friends who are down for drinks and some cool times and parties not to mention being socially into the cool crowds and nice scenes in the city.

People size you up from the start, it's the sad truth of life.

Whether it was in high school, college or the real world, people need to see the value that comes with associating with you. If people see you with a couple of hot girls, they assume you must have access to more hot girls so they want to hang around you. It was in many ways the same in high school and college when it came to the high life back then too, rich frat boys were not itching to hang out with nerdy STEM guys who hot girls were repulsed by.

A bad social life in many ways goes with a bad dating life because when you lack social value, women look down on you, then when women look down on you, you have a low social value as others have no reason to really hang out with you.

So how do you fix that? Well, thank Chase for creating this site, he will help you fix it.

But I have a bad social life and am not a cool kid with a lot of friends despite having had dating success, what gives?

For that, I do partially blame the pickup seduction material teaching men to go out, approach random women until one says yes, and then sleep with her without the intention of doing anything else. It is fun for sure but you realize that with certain women, especially more attractive women, there is a great deal of value to be had by not just sleeping with them and forgetting about it. The movement also draws some naturally awkward and autistic guys who have their own axe to grind with social life so it does not get prioritized as much even though I think it should.

The benefits are endless because it helps you get more attractive women.

 

[trashKENNUT]

OP,

But I do warn you, many times you will run into guys whose only purpose is to poach hot girls from you.

where the fuck you been? i am looking for a Girlschase member who reach this stage. Everyone else is boring, man.

Another warning: You think You are the shit And YOu Forgot To Screen.
In the short term, you look like you are the WWE Champion. Long term, you have friends with values that you don't want.

That's part of the manipulation from everyone. Not intentional but very toxic for you

Zac

 

[Hue]

OP,

Seduction as an understood practice and as a community has evolved from the old days of PUA technique based stuff. A lot of what you're referring to is social circle, and a scene.

With seduction, social circle gaming and cold approach still coincide and use a lot of the same tools and principles.

You can go in alone and manipulate a crowd, win them over, and leave with the girl - that's straight cold approach pickup. Short term win (at least initially), and I guess you could call it "poaching".

You can also take time to make friends, build up a group, or merge into a pre-existing group after you take time to insert yourself in those people's lives. This can give you social proof, which can in turn get you more girls.

Or you can do both - leverage your pre-existing social proof to ease you into winning over a crowd. They're not mutually exclusive.

I think plenty of people just like the look of the latter and don't realize that there's simply different things to capitalize on between the two general "options".

Savage win the crowd over guy is more than likely a Sigma who doesn't need or want a big crowd and just wants good pussy and maybe a few close friends.

Being in the crowd, having social proof, and feeling like apart of the scene doesn't necessarily give you a lot if you're not capitalizing on the opportunities it gives you.

If you're an Alpha in that group, then it probably does, but just being in the scene only gives you that: the scene.

There's also a classic scenario of cold approaches turning into girlfriends who bring you into a social circle, as all these things intermix.

It all just depends what you want man. Learning cold approach, learning social circle, learning reputation management and leveraging preselection and social proof can all amount to different things. There's no one way to use all these tools.


I think that being in a social circle will teach you a lot of what you need to know to be successful in seduction and in dealing / having relationships with people... but it's about what you want to get out of that. Some of my social circles, the guys are my best friends and I just love being around them. Others they're honestly because of more access to girls or things like free concert tickets.

So yea, I agree guys with bad social lives commonly have bad dating lives - dating is a very social experience.. but they're not all that way. Plenty of guys in "cool" circles don't get much good pussy.. somewhat common in college and afterwards. Some guys swim in pussy but don't like rubbing shoulders with a bunch of people publically. A bit rarer but they're out there.

GC is a great place to learn social tools and then decide what you want to do with them. I'm glad I found this website at this point in my life, and wish I had radically began to change my thinking even earlier, haha.


Anyways (this turned out being way longer than I thought), I don't see any need to blame the seduction community, since its your decision to use these social tools in whatever way you want. Maybe you want to seduce a girl for the access to her scene / to build a larger social network... or maybe you don't think that'll be worth it and just want to smash. Maybe she's GF quality.

Seduction writers continue to come up with great material on understanding how people work, but it's the readers decision on if they'll make use of that, and how they go about doing that.

Hue

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have been getting laid like crazy and partying my ass off lol.

Thank you for the response Hue but the reason a lot of guys in top tier social circles might not get the hottest girls is because they don't really want that, they just want the social experience. Despite that being the case, the hottest girls would rather take that guy over the lone wolf cold approacher or the guy without much of a social circle in the first place. It definitely opens up doors not just in terms of women but also with life in general, I know I have gotten into certain events and had certain job opportunities fly my way because of who I knew (classic saying: "not what you know but who you know").

This is something I have butted heads with forum members on but the social guy will always have an advantage in dating and many other avenues than the anti-social guy.

The behavior that the community is pushing or enabling in terms of letting men be loners who go out by themselves and only use women for sexual encounters is not healthy and is creating depressed sociopaths. Having a social life in general is very rewarding, we crave social interaction as people and to deny this is to put the people you are teaching in a bad spot. It should not be about screwing someone over socially, it should be about genuinely loving people.

Cold approach on its own for the purpose of just sex is not rewarding, it is empty and unfulfilling. Do it to not be awkward but if you are a loner without a social life and your only form of interaction is cold approaching random women, it will come back to bite you in the ass.

 

[Lover]

A lot of harsh truths in this post. Good one. One thing I wonder about, and Hue mentioned it as well

I do partially blame the pickup seduction material teaching men to go out, approach random women until one says yes, and then sleep with her without the intention of doing anything else.

Are you talking about GC specifically, or the community as a whole (okay, I just saw in your last post it's the community) Because most of the articles I read from GC these days, relates to how to have better relationships with your girls, how to be a good friend, how to provide value and all that. Chase writes about it, Hector writes about it, and some of the other authors do as well.

I don't know much about other seduction sites these days, so can't talk about them.

But do remember, different people want different things at different times. You once wanted the blonde bombshells, now you're meeting (and perhaps more into) other types of women - that is judging from latest posts I have read from you. Correct me if I'm wrong. However, some guys just want sexual experience once they get here, later they realize they probably want something else. They might not relate to your experiences and epiphanies because they haven't gone through the same, and if they were outcasts, they might not care.

I just ended a 2 year hiatus from Facebook. Am I right that you advocate social media? If so, I would like to get your and other guys' feedback as well when I post about my experience and its relation to my social life somewhere on this forum

This is something I have butted heads with forum members on but the social guy will always have an advantage in dating and many other avenues than the anti-social guy

My impression from those posts is that it was a black and white matter back then. If you were not in the in-crowd, you couldn't screw the blonde bombshells. If you didn't look or behave like the kind of guy they wanted, you didn't stand a chance with them. Back then, the posts didn't sound like they were about having an advantage. If we are talking advantages, yes, the social guy is having more choice than the anti-social one, especially if the latter is dressed bad and have poor fundamentals. But the social guy might be average, and thus less exotic. However, don't forget the charming guy with tight fundamentals as well, but who is hardly part of the in-crowd. He is rare, but he exists. And he might have more lover value than the social guy. Do what works for you. Different strokes for different folks.

 

[Hue]

I have been getting laid like crazy and partying my ass off lol.

That's awesome dude! Glad to hear it.

Despite that being the case, the hottest girls would rather take that guy over the lone wolf cold approacher or the guy without much of a social circle in the first place.

On average, yeah I think you're right. The girl has more to gain from picking the Alpha over the Sigma. But that doesn't mean that it'll always be one or the other, or that a Sigma can't become friends with an Alpha / become incorporated into their social circle. I think overall, it's favorable (and more fulfilling and enjoyable!) to befriend cool guys who do cool shit. Haha, I really don't think most people are disagreeing on that.

If you don't want to befriend the group (you're antisocial), that person needs to acknowledge how good they have to be to get those girls who are already surrounded by Alphas to go and pull the top bitch around them for the night or longer. You basically have to out-alpha the guy without him taking charge or cutting you out of the situation. If you're dealing with a circle where not everyone is an alpha, then it's not as demanding of a challenge.

Top tier circles, on the other hand, they are. That's what makes them top tier. Those guys usually are ALL getting laid. Plenty of those guys cold approach too, but just don't think about it like a pick up artist would.

Being a Sigma though, doesn't necessarily make you anti-social. It just means you walk to your own beat, most of the time. You're still more than capable of making friends with other sigmas, other alphas, or whatever you want to do. It's your choice.

If your desire is to be a stereotypical Alpha though, I think that those guys have to focus a lot more on reputation management. It's necessary if you want to maintain your networks and capitalize on things. The Sigma doesn't have to worry about that as much because they're capable of simply leaving and finding other places to get those things. The sigma also will have less power to leverage over other people in those situations. Yet, those people have less power to leverage over the sigma because of his outcome independence.

It definitely opens up doors not just in terms of women but also with life in general, I know I have gotten into certain events and had certain job opportunities fly my way because of who I knew (classic saying: "not what you know but who you know").

100%. Though I don't see why learning social skills and many of the principles in pick up would stop you from being able to do that, or even flourish in doing that.

The behavior that the community is pushing or enabling in terms of letting men be loners who go out by themselves and only use women for sexual encounters is not healthy and is creating depressed sociopaths.

What examples do you have of this?

I've seen some shit on Red Pill where they definitely are getting too dark and even encourage sociopathy. But I would say that GC definitely is not one of those places.

Yea, there's a dark side to pick up. But that's an effect of what the reader decided to do with the information / suggestions they received.

Pickup is by definition manipulative. The word manipulation though, I think, has an overly negative connotation to it. There is plenty of benevolent manipulation out there as well.

Having a social life in general is very rewarding, we crave social interaction as people and to deny this is to put the people you are teaching in a bad spot. It should not be about screwing someone over socially, it should be about genuinely loving people.

We're in complete agreement here.

Though like you said, most guys aren't really your friends. I'm generally a friendly person who doesn't step on people purposefully, but it's important to not be naive as to what other people you're surrounded by might want that you have / you also want, and sometimes you just have to look out for yourself.

Most people look out for themselves anyways, but might not be introspective enough to recognize the extent to which they're doing it. When to be selfish / selfless for the betterment of oneself or the group is case by case. Cold approach in a vacuum is usually selfish like this, but for most people it's not ever really in a vacuum, isolated like that forever. Perhaps in the moment.

Cold approach on its own for the purpose of just sex is not rewarding, it is empty and unfulfilling. Do it to not be awkward but if you are a loner without a social life and your only form of interaction is cold approaching random women, it will come back to bite you in the ass.

Also, I agree.

I think when people start out in pick up, or during times where they relentlessly throw themselves into it, it can be easy to get carried away. Though it might be necessary in some cases to go through a phase of this, realize it's unfulfilling, and continue your journey forward - like Ajay said.

Maybe in some total newbies / people with autism that find the seduction community, this happens... but I don't think the "community is pushing people" to do that.

Personally, I don't know anyone who stays in this phase, and who's only purpose and social engagement is cold approaching. Learning how to cold approach is a tool that has many, many benefits to it.


There is one guy I know who found Red Pill, became extremely selfish, and burned all of his bridges because of pussy. He went all out and now lives a bitter and jaded life, from my observations.

That's the thing though - if you make the choice to 100% dedicate yourself to a certain practice or line of thinking you become dogmatic, or you start to block out other things that might have actually been of huge benefit to your life and happiness. MWGTOW is another example of this.

Drexel Scott even once said that because of how relentlessly he threw himself into pick up, he missed out on a lot of other things when he was younger.

Those are products of a community that wants to teach guys tools to excel with women, and get over the mental barriers they might have with dating. There will always be a spectrum as to what those products looks like.

End of the day though, they were all decisions made by the individual who decided to spend their time moving in that direction, and decisions of how they went about incorporating seduction into their lives.

 

[Hue]

EDIT

Felt the quick need to reiterate on something since I was lazy with my quotation. Reread my reply and couldn't get away from clarifying this part.

Cold approach on its own for the purpose of just sex is not rewarding, it is empty and unfulfilling.

I actually don't agree with your here OP. Cold approaching is very fun for me and a lot of people ;P

Hedonism becomes unfulfilling after long enough because it's a bottomless pit to fill validation. Just sex for the sake of sex is hedonistic.

We all love pussy, but if you're a slave to the hedonism of sex you may find it leaves you empty.

The start to finish of seducing a girl that's beautiful, the challenge, the moments where you nail something hard, and then satisfying her after her resistance / navigating her mental barriers that she, then giving her great sex... that's still pretty fulfilling to me. It's so fun. Maybe someday I won't feel that way though, who knows.

Simply put, I think if you become a slave to the methodology of cold approaching as a validation source then yes, it becomes unfulfilling

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

In regards to the sigma versus alpha situation, while it helps to have options and walk away as a sigma, reputation management is a great skill to have especially in business. You cannot keep hopping around for the sake of it, what it does is it helps with leverage but you have to learn to hold your own. Robert Greene has excellent work around this, his most recent book was a blockbuster.

The truth I have found in this day and age that cannot be denied is that if you lack a social life or a decent enough social circle, most good looking women are out of the question. There is a chance you get a hot girl who is socially reclusive herself but that is more of a rarity, a lot of times the hottest girls will have their social circles and social media following. Even with my matches on dating apps, I get asked about my Instagram and have known girls who will immediately next a guy if he lacks social media.

I don't blame them either because I am like that towards people as well. Most of the times, I find it to be a red flag if someone hardly has any friends in their lives. I have found that often times such people are socially isolated for a reason and have some serious toxic personality issues. The worst ones are the PUA types that spam approach women with weird openers but hardly have any friends in their own lives, being the ones to go out alone by themselves. A lack of a social life and friends signals a lot to women about your standing as a guy and the possibility that you are not a fun and entertaining guy to be around because if you were, everyone would want to speak with you or at least try to be a part of your life.

IMO, guys should approach this with the mentality of getting better with people with getting good with women being a part of that. Cold approach is a great skill to master, trying to get decent at it myself, but it should not be the only thing you have in your toolbox.

 

[trashKENNUT]

OP,

if you lack a social life or a decent enough social circle, most good looking women are out of the question.

This is what girls want you to believe. That's part of the sales Funnel. It is true however that hot women do have their preferences, and they will niche down to friends friends and/or hang out in "rich" areas.

But this type of girls is more money oriented/status oriented compared to others. The good thing about this is they love you more if you have this things.

Zac

 

[Hue]

OP,

I've said most of what I've wanted to say, but I'll add a few things. Thanks for elaborating.

Going out alone has allowed me to make my social life far, far better than it was when I moved to my city. I'm comfortable being out alone because I forced myself to push through rejections, faux pas with guys I started talking to, and literally just being out alone. Now when I go out I literally see someone I've met EVERY time I'm out.

Thought I couldn't go out without social circle --> went out alone, talked to everyone --> had weird and awkward moments --> got good at it, stopped being as awkward --> start being confident out alone --> make friends / fuck girls --> fun social life.

Even with my matches on dating apps, I get asked about my Instagram and have known girls who will immediately next a guy if he lacks social media.

I've literally never, ever run into this anywhere besides dating apps.

Sometimes girls will ask for my instagram the morning after I fucked her, but that's about it.

Personally, I doubt I'm a unique case.

IMO, guys should approach this with the mentality of getting better with people with getting good with women being a part of that.

Yeah, and "cold approaching" let's you do that. That's why it's dope: you don't need anyone but yourself.

I hope this wasn't all semantics how we disagree. "Cold approaching" a group of girls and striking up a conversation with random guys, even though it's "cold" or some contextual scenario that doesn't necessitate it, looks pretty different.

Unless you're tryna fuck the guys lol.

Cold approach is a great skill to master, trying to get decent at it myself

Nice, I wish you the best of luck.

but it should not be the only thing you have in your toolbox.

Yea, for sure. GC is all about self-improvement, and becoming an oustanding man. You gotta work on a bunch of shit to do that. As far as game goes, people DO usually specialize, and it can play out like this:

• If you're only good at dating apps and running the routine, you may fall short when competing with naturals / day or night gamers.
• If you're only good at day game, you might have a hard time in high energy bars / clubs.
• If you're only good at high energy bars and clubs, the techniques of delicately seducing a girl from a street approach will probably be pretty tough.
• If you're only good at social circle, you might not have the balls to go up to that stunning girl that just walked by you

Becoming an outstanding, socially confident, and socially calibrated man should and DOES allow you to function in all of these settings. You become an outstanding person, and the results come to you. Takes alotta mental and physical work ;P


I would still appreciate it if you could give me a specific example of what communities are openly pushing men to be loners, use women, and effectively create depressed sociopaths. I still plan on becoming a psychologist, so the digital sub-conscious that's splotted all over the internet is usually of interest to me. Crazy the effect that anonymity creates.


Hue

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I've peeked over at some masculine game communities, kind of the red pill stuff, and run into a lot of the same shit of men being told to go MGTOW or some stuff or ignore social life.

Now as for going out alone, I feel suspect about that. It might work when it comes to taking a girl home but when it comes to actually socializing, I have found most guys do not want to socialize with loners. Most of my social life has come from friends of friends or friends of girls I have fucked who I just happened to click with. Rarely has a friendship I made out at a bar amounted to much of anything.

Will comment more on this later but in general I have rarely seen a good social life with cool friends spring up unless it was through friends of girls you were already fucking.

 

[Marley]

I don't visit this site as often as I used to because life has thrown a lot on my plate and there is even more I have to get done. Then again, this is one of the few community centered sites I do visit because it led to the biggest transformation of my entire life in terms of women. Back in 2014 I came to this site as a hopelessly depressed guy down on his luck in terms of women and dating, not to mention a social outcast that was never a part of any of the cool popular crowds. Needless to say, I left college with a lot of regret that haunted me at least for a couple years after graduation and at times drove me to the brink of insanity. Lately, I have discovered a truth around social life and age which I want to share with you guys.

Like a lot of other angry younger guys, I remember hating and wishing the worst on the kids who had it easy growing up, were popular, had it all handed to them in life, and were showing off their social popularity on Instagram. I remember the hatred I felt towards the "in crowd" in college which consisted of hot girls and the douchebag with a backwards hat who was making out with them at bars or dating them. The friends he had compared to the lack of cool friends I had, the mentality of feeling like they are a part of some exclusive club while I am a peasant. Knowing how lucky he was to have good parents, easy circumstances, and a lot of things in his favor growing up to get him to that point; a lot of guys in my situation have felt that.

The sight of going out at night and seeing guys and hot girls in a big mixed group, wondering what they have that you do not.

In some ways, it's true. Life is unfair and some guys get dealt a much better hand growing up than others do. The truth is your predicament is not entirely your fault.

Some guys have the rich wealthy loving parents who spoil them, send them to the schools in the nicest areas, pay for their college, and push them to be social early. If you meet a lot of the frat guy prototypes, they are typically the upper middle class kids from suburbia who grew up in nice homes and went to college to have fun. Then you have guys who have abusive parents, stunted social development, poverty, and didn't grow up in the nice fun neighborhoods. One day, the two different paths in life meet each other in college or at some point in their twenties to find how unfair life can be. How one guy had it all growing up and is in a better situation now and how the other had to fight for everything and is still in a tougher spot socially because he didn't have it handed to him growing up. The latter, most likely, ended up on sites like this.

So here is the truth of the cool social life you are angry about not having as well as making the cool friends you always wanted.

Dating all the way back to high school, it mostly did revolve around getting hot girls. Cool guys wanted cool friends who they could brag about knowing so that way, girls would want to associate with them even more. I have talked to more than a handful of fraternity guys who were in cool houses that told me a lot of that stuff revolved around the popularity contest for validation and getting the attention of hot girls, including the hottest sororities. Granted some of these guys had a genuine bond such as playing on the same sports team but for the most part, a lot of that stuff revolved around moving upwards and getting the attention of hot girls. I have known one too many stories of guys who turned on a brother because they felt he jeopardized their chances of meeting attractive women.

For some guys who grew up in a rich family, this came naturally as other rich kids felt safer being friends with them compared to some poor kid wanting to leech their resources and less wealthy kids wanted to associate with them due to status. Once again, money talks (albeit in an indirect way) and bullshit walks. The fraternity guys in college? Usually the kids from wealthy families whose dads had real money, naturally girls gravitated towards them rather than the poor kid flipping burgers to pay for tuition. Getting where I am starting to go with this?

One of the easiest ways to improve your social life is to actually have cute girls in your life that genuinely like you, as in actually want to go out with you to events and are comfortable bringing you around their friends.

Ever notice how the hottest girls seem to be socially well-connected? They have the access to the coolest parties, nicest events, and a lot of the exclusive stuff most people do not. Ever since I started going out with more than one girl to an event or to a bar, I slowly started to notice that social life happened a lot more easily. Sometimes other couples wanted to befriend us and sometimes we came across other girls who wanted to get to know us. Sometimes those girls and couples knew of a good party going down or a nice event happening that we would be unaware of. Sometimes they knew cool people who we could meet and be introduced to.

But I do warn you, many times you will run into guys whose only purpose is to poach hot girls from you.

It just happens and is a part of life, our gender was made that way which is why I believe most men are not your friends. With that said, some men are your friends and have good intentions, they are just cool fun-loving guys who want friends and cool people in their lives. Eventually you will start to get friends who are down for drinks and some cool times and parties not to mention being socially into the cool crowds and nice scenes in the city.

People size you up from the start, it's the sad truth of life.

Whether it was in high school, college or the real world, people need to see the value that comes with associating with you. If people see you with a couple of hot girls, they assume you must have access to more hot girls so they want to hang around you. It was in many ways the same in high school and college when it came to the high life back then too, rich frat boys were not itching to hang out with nerdy STEM guys who hot girls were repulsed by.

A bad social life in many ways goes with a bad dating life because when you lack social value, women look down on you, then when women look down on you, you have a low social value as others have no reason to really hang out with you.

So how do you fix that? Well, thank Chase for creating this site, he will help you fix it.

But I have a bad social life and am not a cool kid with a lot of friends despite having had dating success, what gives?

For that, I do partially blame the pickup seduction material teaching men to go out, approach random women until one says yes, and then sleep with her without the intention of doing anything else. It is fun for sure but you realize that with certain women, especially more attractive women, there is a great deal of value to be had by not just sleeping with them and forgetting about it. The movement also draws some naturally awkward and autistic guys who have their own axe to grind with social life so it does not get prioritized as much even though I think it should.

The benefits are endless because it helps you get more attractive women.

Ngl this post makes me feel even worse tbh. I came from a pretty privileged background but have managed to keep my virginity till the age of 25 due to being a pussy + lack of social skills. Meanwhile I have a friend who came from poverty in a really bad area in the Caribbean with neglectful parents who’s slept with over 100 women and is a great natural by the age of 23 despite coming from a way worse situation. Sometimes growing up with it all can just make you weak af/lack that hunger.

 

[isildur1]

i'd argue that no matter what social status you are born into - you need to be proactive about your social life and dating options whether you're middle , upper-class or lower class. I was born into an upper class family and was around a lot of rich kids at school and at university - once university ended a lot of the good looking , good status men actually ended up - if anything a lot of good status men were too egoistical to make that jump into actual daygame - i had some handsome friends that took rejection very personally and as a result never achieved anything extraordinary in their dating lives even though they had the potential to.

Both my brothers are accomplished people- yet they relied heavily on online dating and both ended up with bad quality girlfriend's as a result - again too shy to approach and make options for themselves - regardless of their privilege or smv they still underperformed

Good level of smv + persistence of making options is crucial - hard to have one without the other and most privileged - good looking men are took egotistical post university graduation to make this happen imo.

of course i argue its easier for rich and high status people to move up the sexual market place- but without work ethic and persistence its a bit like owning a Ferrari and keeping it your closet and not showing it to anyone- if you have value you need to put yourself out there- post university the best looking guys i knew- a good percentage of them just dated mediocre women in their social circle because its all they were capable of doing and were too shy to really work hard consistently in putting themselves out there