- Joined
- Sep 7, 2018
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- 364
Hey guys,
Just went on two separate dates that were back-to-back. The first girl I met through cold approach on campus (in a way, she was at a table I stopped at to do homework and we talked there). The second was a cute girl in one of my classes that I kept having eye contact with.
FIRST DATE
The first date I met at 11 at Starbucks. She showed up before me and I showed up a bit late (about 10 minutes). It was really crowded in there so I suggested we go to the nearby park instead, which she agreed. We around around the park a bit and I complimented her style, clothing, and jewelry. She really dressed herself up, so I appreciated that. I got compliance from her throughout without any resistance - had her give me a sip of her drink, show me pictures, etc. I deep dived a bit and got to know her. After a few laps, I suggested we go to another park (closer to my place) where there was a nice area to sit. She agreed and we drive over (she got in my car and had left her car at the Starbucks).
At this park, I changed the topic to a more sexual one, bringing up that I had read in an interesting article the idea of withholding orgasms (where you get a girl to almost orgasm, stop, then resume, until she orgasms really hard). She said that was pretty interesting and brought up the idea of sex-ed in schools, saying they need to better educate people on safe sex and how to do things - so this indirectly told me she didn't have much experience or teaching. So I asked more on it and found out she has had zero experience with sex or dating. She also thanked me for being so casual about the topic and I expanded on that a bit saying how our society really goes against women being openly-sexual and how that's not ok - girls should be free to be themselves and to feel comfortable with sex.
After walking a bit I said we should sit in the grass to get off our feet and she said ok. She then brought up how its a lot of girls fear that guys are just "lustful pigs that will use a girl and then get rid of her afterwards". So I reframed this saying that while there are guys out there that do this, when I am sexual with a girl its something fun and enjoyful, something that is done because we enjoy spending time together and want to spend more time together. She smiled when I said this and said "okay cool". We then went back to talking and she brought up how she watched this anime show (I watch anime as I am learning Japanese). So I seen my opportunity and brought up if she saw this one anime. She said no. So I asked if she wanted to watch it with me on my laptop - I just had to stop by my place real quick and pick it up. She said she'd like that so we hopped in my car, headed to my place (my parents weren't home, but I had lied to them saying I was out with friends and they have video security at the door so they would see me bringing a girl in so I hesitated as I realized I probably shouldn't bring her in to save myself the fight later). I realized as we parked as well that I would need an internet connection for my laptop to work. So I changed plans quickly, said we should watch it on my phone, and drove to a frisbee golf park close by where I could park in the parking lot with her (and it was likely empty).
We got to the parking lot (it was empty!) and I said "lets move to the back - its too crowded up here) she said OK and followed my lead to the back. I put my arm around her, which she welcomed and she put her arm around me as I pulled up the show. Right before it started I said "wait before that" then manhandled kissed her. She kissed right back and said "wow". Then we watched the show. There was a lot of sexual tension so I brought up going further and she gave it a hard "no", so I said "alright no pressure" and resumed the show. Eventually, she told me she had to go soon to help her parents with some chores (likely an excuse) but I just said alright and told her I wanted to try something first. I asked her to swing her legs around me (so she would be straddling me) and, after a few attempts to understand what I meant, she straddled me and we kissed a bit more. She then said "Listen I know there's a curiosity to do more but (I don't remember this part that well) but I don't think we should yet" (she had told me earlier in the date that she wanted to take it slow in a relationship - of course she would because that's how girls think in relationships and also because of her inexperience with sex - so I reframed it as something fun, open, and attractive for a girl to be open-minded about it). In retrospect (as its easy to say now) I should have pushed more, but it was also getting close to the time for the second date as well (which I had already pushed back a bit while on this date over text). So we stopped and I said "lets head back" she thanked me for taking her out and things. I drove her back to her car at Starbucks and gave her a hug and she left.
10 minutes later was the second date. The first date lasted from 11 AM - 1:20 PM.
THE SECOND DATE
The second date met me at Starbucks at 1:35 (she was a bit late driving there - a decently far drive from her place) and we got our coffee. After sitting for two minutes, I suggested we go mini golfing, as it was nice out. She agreed happily and said she hasn't done that in a long time. I told her we should carpool and she said okay. We drove over to the place, talking along the way. As we played, I deep dived and we found out about each other. She asked a lot of questions and I focused on framing myself as adventurous and open about different things. I used the same withholding orgasms bit and she also responded that it was interesting. Like the first girl, she had "not much experience" with dating. I got decent compliance, though she wouldn't give me a sip of her drink (I figured that could be for any reason - maybe she's worried about diseases, just a slight germophobe, or simply doesn't like sharing drinks). She was adventurous and qualified herself well to that. She also liked to cook and we had quite a few similar interests.
After minigolf, I suggested we go get ice cream. So we went and got ice cream. It was kind of funny because the girl getting our ice cream lit up seeing me come in the door and said "Hi! Welcome!" and then saw her come in and this girl just got such a mad look on her face... Anyways, we chatted some more over ice cream and she said she had to go at 2:45 (I believe it was). Her brother was having an ultimate frisbee tournament. I told her OK and after talking some more and after we had both finished our ice creams, I told her we should get out of there (around 2:30 - 2:35 ish). I had throughout this touched her lower back and arm to guide her or when she had paid for our ice cream (when I had paid for her minigolf - which she also offered to pay for). We drove back over and I thought about bringing up a bit I had used on more sexually experienced girls that have gotten me good results (I don't know why - I just more or less wanted to see how open she was to it and if it would work). So i started with "you know what they say about cute brunettes with glasses don't you?" to which she replied "No I haven't heard what they say". "that they're the calmest, coolest girls who give the best head around" I said. She laughed a bit and said awkwardly "I hadn't heard that before..wait I'm a brunette aren't I?" (and something else she mumbled so I didn't hear as well)... (her being this girl indirectly is the whole point) so it made it kind of awkward that she realized the whole thing out loud. (this was a red flag for me to stop the bit, but I continued anyway) So I continued with it talking about how most guys on the other hand sucked at eating girls out the right way and describing the right way how to.
She went totally quiet. It almost freaked me out, because I had a very religious girl I took out in the past do the same thing when I brought up sexual topics. So I told her she was making me nervous being so quiet and she laughed. I figured either it was that she wasn't a fan or that maybe she was just imagining what I was describing and was quiet (I've had girls wait till I was completely done to say that they found it interesting or to ask me if I was good at it or make other comments). So I continued but holy crap it was awkward. So I changed topics a bit. But she remained quiet so I went back to describing. When I got to the part where I talk about taking the girls pants off, she said "OK NBW let's talk about something else" and I told her my bad I didn't intend to make things awkward for her. She said she knew that and I went back to asking more about her brother's ultimate frisbee game. She then went back to her normal self. We arrived at the parking lot and I dropped her off at her car. We exchanged a hug, she said she'd see me in class Monday, and she left.
I then went a played frisbee golf to chill and met a cool dude named Chaz who helped me find a disc I lost (but that's besides the point). In retrospect, I'm considering telling this girl that I had a lot of fun, but that I don't think she has what I am looking for and so I don't think we should go out again. I'm looking for a more sexually open girl - someone like the first girl who I can work more easily with.
Overall, it was a full day. I'm now thinking I could've really pushed for the first girl to come inside my parents place (where my condoms also are) and just have dealt with the consequences with my parents later. I could've also pushed harder against her objection to leave (how would you guys have done this?). This was also a good lesson to be straight up with my parents. With the second girl, like I said, I'm thinking about not meeting her again. I'd much rather find a girl more sexually open minded so I'm not having to go on so many dates to get somewhere.
What are your guys' thoughts? How do you deal with girls who are inexperienced? I know with virgins, you can usually move things a bit slower (having sex in 3-5 dates, focusing on getting more investment sexually each date). Thanks for any advice (and reading this all the way through)!
Till the next one,
NBW
Just went on two separate dates that were back-to-back. The first girl I met through cold approach on campus (in a way, she was at a table I stopped at to do homework and we talked there). The second was a cute girl in one of my classes that I kept having eye contact with.
FIRST DATE
The first date I met at 11 at Starbucks. She showed up before me and I showed up a bit late (about 10 minutes). It was really crowded in there so I suggested we go to the nearby park instead, which she agreed. We around around the park a bit and I complimented her style, clothing, and jewelry. She really dressed herself up, so I appreciated that. I got compliance from her throughout without any resistance - had her give me a sip of her drink, show me pictures, etc. I deep dived a bit and got to know her. After a few laps, I suggested we go to another park (closer to my place) where there was a nice area to sit. She agreed and we drive over (she got in my car and had left her car at the Starbucks).
At this park, I changed the topic to a more sexual one, bringing up that I had read in an interesting article the idea of withholding orgasms (where you get a girl to almost orgasm, stop, then resume, until she orgasms really hard). She said that was pretty interesting and brought up the idea of sex-ed in schools, saying they need to better educate people on safe sex and how to do things - so this indirectly told me she didn't have much experience or teaching. So I asked more on it and found out she has had zero experience with sex or dating. She also thanked me for being so casual about the topic and I expanded on that a bit saying how our society really goes against women being openly-sexual and how that's not ok - girls should be free to be themselves and to feel comfortable with sex.
After walking a bit I said we should sit in the grass to get off our feet and she said ok. She then brought up how its a lot of girls fear that guys are just "lustful pigs that will use a girl and then get rid of her afterwards". So I reframed this saying that while there are guys out there that do this, when I am sexual with a girl its something fun and enjoyful, something that is done because we enjoy spending time together and want to spend more time together. She smiled when I said this and said "okay cool". We then went back to talking and she brought up how she watched this anime show (I watch anime as I am learning Japanese). So I seen my opportunity and brought up if she saw this one anime. She said no. So I asked if she wanted to watch it with me on my laptop - I just had to stop by my place real quick and pick it up. She said she'd like that so we hopped in my car, headed to my place (my parents weren't home, but I had lied to them saying I was out with friends and they have video security at the door so they would see me bringing a girl in so I hesitated as I realized I probably shouldn't bring her in to save myself the fight later). I realized as we parked as well that I would need an internet connection for my laptop to work. So I changed plans quickly, said we should watch it on my phone, and drove to a frisbee golf park close by where I could park in the parking lot with her (and it was likely empty).
We got to the parking lot (it was empty!) and I said "lets move to the back - its too crowded up here) she said OK and followed my lead to the back. I put my arm around her, which she welcomed and she put her arm around me as I pulled up the show. Right before it started I said "wait before that" then manhandled kissed her. She kissed right back and said "wow". Then we watched the show. There was a lot of sexual tension so I brought up going further and she gave it a hard "no", so I said "alright no pressure" and resumed the show. Eventually, she told me she had to go soon to help her parents with some chores (likely an excuse) but I just said alright and told her I wanted to try something first. I asked her to swing her legs around me (so she would be straddling me) and, after a few attempts to understand what I meant, she straddled me and we kissed a bit more. She then said "Listen I know there's a curiosity to do more but (I don't remember this part that well) but I don't think we should yet" (she had told me earlier in the date that she wanted to take it slow in a relationship - of course she would because that's how girls think in relationships and also because of her inexperience with sex - so I reframed it as something fun, open, and attractive for a girl to be open-minded about it). In retrospect (as its easy to say now) I should have pushed more, but it was also getting close to the time for the second date as well (which I had already pushed back a bit while on this date over text). So we stopped and I said "lets head back" she thanked me for taking her out and things. I drove her back to her car at Starbucks and gave her a hug and she left.
10 minutes later was the second date. The first date lasted from 11 AM - 1:20 PM.
THE SECOND DATE
The second date met me at Starbucks at 1:35 (she was a bit late driving there - a decently far drive from her place) and we got our coffee. After sitting for two minutes, I suggested we go mini golfing, as it was nice out. She agreed happily and said she hasn't done that in a long time. I told her we should carpool and she said okay. We drove over to the place, talking along the way. As we played, I deep dived and we found out about each other. She asked a lot of questions and I focused on framing myself as adventurous and open about different things. I used the same withholding orgasms bit and she also responded that it was interesting. Like the first girl, she had "not much experience" with dating. I got decent compliance, though she wouldn't give me a sip of her drink (I figured that could be for any reason - maybe she's worried about diseases, just a slight germophobe, or simply doesn't like sharing drinks). She was adventurous and qualified herself well to that. She also liked to cook and we had quite a few similar interests.
After minigolf, I suggested we go get ice cream. So we went and got ice cream. It was kind of funny because the girl getting our ice cream lit up seeing me come in the door and said "Hi! Welcome!" and then saw her come in and this girl just got such a mad look on her face... Anyways, we chatted some more over ice cream and she said she had to go at 2:45 (I believe it was). Her brother was having an ultimate frisbee tournament. I told her OK and after talking some more and after we had both finished our ice creams, I told her we should get out of there (around 2:30 - 2:35 ish). I had throughout this touched her lower back and arm to guide her or when she had paid for our ice cream (when I had paid for her minigolf - which she also offered to pay for). We drove back over and I thought about bringing up a bit I had used on more sexually experienced girls that have gotten me good results (I don't know why - I just more or less wanted to see how open she was to it and if it would work). So i started with "you know what they say about cute brunettes with glasses don't you?" to which she replied "No I haven't heard what they say". "that they're the calmest, coolest girls who give the best head around" I said. She laughed a bit and said awkwardly "I hadn't heard that before..wait I'm a brunette aren't I?" (and something else she mumbled so I didn't hear as well)... (her being this girl indirectly is the whole point) so it made it kind of awkward that she realized the whole thing out loud. (this was a red flag for me to stop the bit, but I continued anyway) So I continued with it talking about how most guys on the other hand sucked at eating girls out the right way and describing the right way how to.
She went totally quiet. It almost freaked me out, because I had a very religious girl I took out in the past do the same thing when I brought up sexual topics. So I told her she was making me nervous being so quiet and she laughed. I figured either it was that she wasn't a fan or that maybe she was just imagining what I was describing and was quiet (I've had girls wait till I was completely done to say that they found it interesting or to ask me if I was good at it or make other comments). So I continued but holy crap it was awkward. So I changed topics a bit. But she remained quiet so I went back to describing. When I got to the part where I talk about taking the girls pants off, she said "OK NBW let's talk about something else" and I told her my bad I didn't intend to make things awkward for her. She said she knew that and I went back to asking more about her brother's ultimate frisbee game. She then went back to her normal self. We arrived at the parking lot and I dropped her off at her car. We exchanged a hug, she said she'd see me in class Monday, and she left.
I then went a played frisbee golf to chill and met a cool dude named Chaz who helped me find a disc I lost (but that's besides the point). In retrospect, I'm considering telling this girl that I had a lot of fun, but that I don't think she has what I am looking for and so I don't think we should go out again. I'm looking for a more sexually open girl - someone like the first girl who I can work more easily with.
Overall, it was a full day. I'm now thinking I could've really pushed for the first girl to come inside my parents place (where my condoms also are) and just have dealt with the consequences with my parents later. I could've also pushed harder against her objection to leave (how would you guys have done this?). This was also a good lesson to be straight up with my parents. With the second girl, like I said, I'm thinking about not meeting her again. I'd much rather find a girl more sexually open minded so I'm not having to go on so many dates to get somewhere.
What are your guys' thoughts? How do you deal with girls who are inexperienced? I know with virgins, you can usually move things a bit slower (having sex in 3-5 dates, focusing on getting more investment sexually each date). Thanks for any advice (and reading this all the way through)!
Till the next one,
NBW
