Gentleman,
First Field report here on the weekend. We're heading into the thick of summer and it's time to start contributing so I can both learn from you all and see my progress. Discovered this site about a year ago while I was still in serious sick with oneites. Basically trying to use this site and all the great advice to learn how to attract my Ex again. Sad times when I look back but good news is I've come a long way.
With that said. Tally-Ho!
I had just spent the last two weekends out of town on some adventures. One, a backpacking trip with some good friends, the other, a weekend away at a new resort working with their marketing team. A perfect 1-2 punch to start the summer as the backpacking trip was a great time with the amigo's and the weekend at the resort turned into a great lay with a gorgeous girl who was recently divorced.
I'm feeling good going into this weekend as I've got a second date lined up with a girl I had gone out with previously. I don't have to try to communicate that I have fun things going on in my life because I actually do, and she seems genuinely excited to see me again. (First date went very well, lots of touching, chemistry, make-out session at end of night. Was a week-night so I don't take her home)
I set the date up for this Saturday, as I've told her I'd like to hang out again when I don't have to watch the clock and we can enjoy our night. I suggest we meet at my place for drinks & cook. She agrees and says sounds like a good plan.
I get the following text on Thursday. "got my days mixed up. Friday works better for me."
With some hesitation I reschedule for Friday.
Friday
Me: (slammed at work as the afternoon rolls around, hardly have time to take a shit)
Her: What are you thinking for tonight?(strange question since we've already agreed on my place at 8)
Me: I'm slammed at work but lets meet up at 8, looking forward to a drink ma lady.
Her: I'm downtown with a friend. Had a half day so I've been day drinking.
Me: Lucky Girl, we can have a few drinks and cook or just meet up and go out from there.
Her: I'm at "x" bar. Text me when you are done with work. (I take notice that she never agrees to meet at 8 at my place)
Me
I finish work and realize that this girl has been out all day, no need to rush as I go home and have a shower beer)
Me: Done with work.
Her: My friend and I are at "this" now.( No mention of meeting at my place again...she's subtly telling me not happening)
Me: (I'm pretty hungry at this point and now just want food and a drink, I move to re-frame this as it looks like she's not coming over)
Me: Tell you what, hope you're not in a rush. But since you're already that way I'll just meet you. Going to stop in and say a quick hello at my friends brewery on the way.
Her: No rush, enjoying my drink with my friend.
Note: There is about a 15-20 min delay in her response times. I mirror her response time and go to my friends brewery to say hello as they had just released a new beer. This girl seems to be playing games or shit testing me already so I'm a man with friends and other options so I go on my way.
Me: get to my friends brewery and order a drink. They've hired a new bar-tender and she is gorgeous, I chat her up and introduce myself. Some light banter and I feel good...Not fazed by the girl who is enjoying her day drinking after knowing for a week she had a "date" with me that night. (As if she could smell that I was out talking to other girls, my "date" for the night starts to blow up my phone. "where are you?" "Are you coming?" "Yes or No"...so now she's rushing me.....
Me: Leaving now where you at(had been there for 20 min or so, the night is young and I'm feeling good)
Hergives me cross-streets, not the name of a place)
Me: On the way.
No response as I get to the cross street and see 2 bar options. I pick the one that looks interesting as she now hasn't answered my text as to what bar. Only reason I haven't back out at this point is we had a great first date, she showed high interest up until this day, and I was digging her.
Me: Still no response from her I walk into the bar, sit down, order a drink and make friends with the bartender(very hot, great body), and a couple sitting at the corner of the bar. I joke with the couple that I don't see my date here and order a drink. I make friends with the Bar tender, the couple, and two other girls sitting around. Good laughs and good banter with everyone within 10 ft. of me.
Her: at "X" bar. (Finally right!....but who gives a shit I'm having fun!)
Me: Oh..that bar, I walked into the wrong place, be over in a sec. (I finish my drink, tell my new friends that if my date goes bad I'll be back, they laugh and wish me well)
Her: (2 min later...I've finished my drink and walking that way) Are you coming? My friend is leaving to meet up with a guy
Me: On foot.
Me: I see them at the bar, 3-4 drinks in front of them...looking a little sloppy. Her friend is cute as hell as well so lets see how the night goes. I approach and put my hand on her back to say hello.....they're both a little drunk...my "date" the more drunk of the two....she gives me a hug and a shot.
Me: (Great...2nd date and this girl is drunk. looking a little messy; play it off like no big deal. At this point I've made up my mind that I'm going to bail once I get some food. I suggest we all get some food. They comply and we walk out of the bar and ask what bar I walked into. I point to the bar across the street and they both like the look of it and say they want to go in. So I go back, this time with two very good looking girls who are drunk. Immediately have everyone's attention and the cute bartender smiles at me. I pick up right were I left off with my new friends and the two girls are taken aback. They seem annoyed that I'm playing the social butterfly and not fully focused on them. They say..."We're going to sit outside" I don't follow. I stay talking for a 3-4 min as I order an appetizer and some drinks. Friend comes back at this point to ask if I will be joining them. I say yes and have my mind made up that it's time to make a Friday night out of it and start approaching girls on my own. It's not even 9 o'clock and I have the confidence flowing to talk to anyone.
I join the girls and chat for 3-4 min. They picked the table(horrible choice ladies) as they decide to sit with a drunkk blabbering woman. I can't take this shit and say it's been fun but I have to go. Friend asks if she can walk me out and I agree.
Friend: You have to give her another chance.
Me: Why? If I showed up to a second date that drunk do you think she's give me the time of day?
Friend: I know you don't know me but trust me. She likes you, I really like you too. You have to give her a second chance.
Me: I'll see. She's obviosly drunk and I (blah blah don't have time for that shit)
Friend: Trust me. I like you. Don't give up on her on a second date.
Me: (I leave the bar and go back to where I met them, I happened to notice about half dozen other girls I wanted to approach last time I was there. Problem is...I forgot my debit card at the bar back where my drunk date is. I have to go back and there they are. Standing outside. I tell them I forgot my debit card and walk right by them. When I come out the friend grabs my arm and says she's gotten us a taxi. She's trying her best to wing-woman it up for her friend and me. I agree to it and now I'm finally on my way to get food with my drunk date.
We get to the little trendy neighborhood food joint and I order. She's holding my arm and just wants fries as we sit down. I make eye contact with the very cute girl behind the counter calling out people's orders. Date and I sit down, I complement the guy next to me on his awesome t shirt-, joke with him and his friend.
Her: Why are you being so grumpy
Me: I'm not grumpy at all, I'm excited to finally have some food on the way and the night is young.
Her: Why did you leave earlier
Me: I was starving and you and your friend have been day drinking. I think it's disrespectful to show up on a date drunk don't you?
Her: (Looks down) Yeah...I'm sorry.
Me: At this point I'm thinking food and get her a cab home. I don't really need an explanation or drama as the night is young. But I am thinking if something is up with her...then why all the games and no-response to meeting at my place.
Me: Look, I like you. We had a great first date and I was really looking forward to getting to know you and having some drinks at my place tonight.
Her: I know, I just had some terrible news today...
Me: (ok....this could change everything....but still why the games....she's clearly been a rascal about this)
Me: What happened
Her: A found out a good friend of mine passed away.
Me: I explain that that is rough and sympathize. I then ask her why her or her friend didn't tell me that to begin with and we could have re-scheduled? She's seemed to have sobered up in the last 30 min at the food joint and is now talking sense. We chat, have a few laughs, and she even agrees that even though she received that news today she was being a bit of a Tit about getting together instead of being straight up.
Obviously I had to go from letting this girl know I have strong boundaries and don't put up with that behavior to sympathizing with her. I don't know how I would handle that if given the same news.
My thinking was that if she was really into me she would have made it a point to meet at my place for drinks. We hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks so at least I was excited to see her, let her get to know me better in a relaxed environment, and spend a Friday night with a gorgeous girl (I know....I know....high expectations for a 2nd date these days)
The next day I received an apology text saying she didn't handle it very well and that she would like to see me again. She asked if we could start over and I agreed.
The past me would quickly try and re-schedule a date with her while I quickly try and rationalize all of her "other" behavior and forget about it.
Now I'm already thinking of how I need to work on my day game approaches this week and ways to challenge myself.
I think I handled the night OK. I can sympathize with the troubling news she received. But to me if it feels like she is still playing games, than she probably is.
I probably left out some details but at one point in the night she felt like she had to tell me "I could have a boyfriend right now if I wanted"
First Field report here on the weekend. We're heading into the thick of summer and it's time to start contributing so I can both learn from you all and see my progress. Discovered this site about a year ago while I was still in serious sick with oneites. Basically trying to use this site and all the great advice to learn how to attract my Ex again. Sad times when I look back but good news is I've come a long way.
With that said. Tally-Ho!
I had just spent the last two weekends out of town on some adventures. One, a backpacking trip with some good friends, the other, a weekend away at a new resort working with their marketing team. A perfect 1-2 punch to start the summer as the backpacking trip was a great time with the amigo's and the weekend at the resort turned into a great lay with a gorgeous girl who was recently divorced.
I'm feeling good going into this weekend as I've got a second date lined up with a girl I had gone out with previously. I don't have to try to communicate that I have fun things going on in my life because I actually do, and she seems genuinely excited to see me again. (First date went very well, lots of touching, chemistry, make-out session at end of night. Was a week-night so I don't take her home)
I set the date up for this Saturday, as I've told her I'd like to hang out again when I don't have to watch the clock and we can enjoy our night. I suggest we meet at my place for drinks & cook. She agrees and says sounds like a good plan.
I get the following text on Thursday. "got my days mixed up. Friday works better for me."
With some hesitation I reschedule for Friday.
Friday
Me: (slammed at work as the afternoon rolls around, hardly have time to take a shit)
Her: What are you thinking for tonight?(strange question since we've already agreed on my place at 8)
Me: I'm slammed at work but lets meet up at 8, looking forward to a drink ma lady.
Her: I'm downtown with a friend. Had a half day so I've been day drinking.
Me: Lucky Girl, we can have a few drinks and cook or just meet up and go out from there.
Her: I'm at "x" bar. Text me when you are done with work. (I take notice that she never agrees to meet at 8 at my place)
Me
I finish work and realize that this girl has been out all day, no need to rush as I go home and have a shower beer)Me: Done with work.
Her: My friend and I are at "this" now.( No mention of meeting at my place again...she's subtly telling me not happening)
Me: (I'm pretty hungry at this point and now just want food and a drink, I move to re-frame this as it looks like she's not coming over)
Me: Tell you what, hope you're not in a rush. But since you're already that way I'll just meet you. Going to stop in and say a quick hello at my friends brewery on the way.
Her: No rush, enjoying my drink with my friend.
Note: There is about a 15-20 min delay in her response times. I mirror her response time and go to my friends brewery to say hello as they had just released a new beer. This girl seems to be playing games or shit testing me already so I'm a man with friends and other options so I go on my way.
Me: get to my friends brewery and order a drink. They've hired a new bar-tender and she is gorgeous, I chat her up and introduce myself. Some light banter and I feel good...Not fazed by the girl who is enjoying her day drinking after knowing for a week she had a "date" with me that night. (As if she could smell that I was out talking to other girls, my "date" for the night starts to blow up my phone. "where are you?" "Are you coming?" "Yes or No"...so now she's rushing me.....
Me: Leaving now where you at(had been there for 20 min or so, the night is young and I'm feeling good)
Her
gives me cross-streets, not the name of a place)Me: On the way.
No response as I get to the cross street and see 2 bar options. I pick the one that looks interesting as she now hasn't answered my text as to what bar. Only reason I haven't back out at this point is we had a great first date, she showed high interest up until this day, and I was digging her.
Me: Still no response from her I walk into the bar, sit down, order a drink and make friends with the bartender(very hot, great body), and a couple sitting at the corner of the bar. I joke with the couple that I don't see my date here and order a drink. I make friends with the Bar tender, the couple, and two other girls sitting around. Good laughs and good banter with everyone within 10 ft. of me.
Her: at "X" bar. (Finally right!....but who gives a shit I'm having fun!)
Me: Oh..that bar, I walked into the wrong place, be over in a sec. (I finish my drink, tell my new friends that if my date goes bad I'll be back, they laugh and wish me well)
Her: (2 min later...I've finished my drink and walking that way) Are you coming? My friend is leaving to meet up with a guy
Me: On foot.
Me: I see them at the bar, 3-4 drinks in front of them...looking a little sloppy. Her friend is cute as hell as well so lets see how the night goes. I approach and put my hand on her back to say hello.....they're both a little drunk...my "date" the more drunk of the two....she gives me a hug and a shot.
Me: (Great...2nd date and this girl is drunk. looking a little messy; play it off like no big deal. At this point I've made up my mind that I'm going to bail once I get some food. I suggest we all get some food. They comply and we walk out of the bar and ask what bar I walked into. I point to the bar across the street and they both like the look of it and say they want to go in. So I go back, this time with two very good looking girls who are drunk. Immediately have everyone's attention and the cute bartender smiles at me. I pick up right were I left off with my new friends and the two girls are taken aback. They seem annoyed that I'm playing the social butterfly and not fully focused on them. They say..."We're going to sit outside" I don't follow. I stay talking for a 3-4 min as I order an appetizer and some drinks. Friend comes back at this point to ask if I will be joining them. I say yes and have my mind made up that it's time to make a Friday night out of it and start approaching girls on my own. It's not even 9 o'clock and I have the confidence flowing to talk to anyone.
I join the girls and chat for 3-4 min. They picked the table(horrible choice ladies) as they decide to sit with a drunkk blabbering woman. I can't take this shit and say it's been fun but I have to go. Friend asks if she can walk me out and I agree.
Friend: You have to give her another chance.
Me: Why? If I showed up to a second date that drunk do you think she's give me the time of day?
Friend: I know you don't know me but trust me. She likes you, I really like you too. You have to give her a second chance.
Me: I'll see. She's obviosly drunk and I (blah blah don't have time for that shit)
Friend: Trust me. I like you. Don't give up on her on a second date.
Me: (I leave the bar and go back to where I met them, I happened to notice about half dozen other girls I wanted to approach last time I was there. Problem is...I forgot my debit card at the bar back where my drunk date is. I have to go back and there they are. Standing outside. I tell them I forgot my debit card and walk right by them. When I come out the friend grabs my arm and says she's gotten us a taxi. She's trying her best to wing-woman it up for her friend and me. I agree to it and now I'm finally on my way to get food with my drunk date.
We get to the little trendy neighborhood food joint and I order. She's holding my arm and just wants fries as we sit down. I make eye contact with the very cute girl behind the counter calling out people's orders. Date and I sit down, I complement the guy next to me on his awesome t shirt-, joke with him and his friend.
Her: Why are you being so grumpy
Me: I'm not grumpy at all, I'm excited to finally have some food on the way and the night is young.
Her: Why did you leave earlier
Me: I was starving and you and your friend have been day drinking. I think it's disrespectful to show up on a date drunk don't you?
Her: (Looks down) Yeah...I'm sorry.
Me: At this point I'm thinking food and get her a cab home. I don't really need an explanation or drama as the night is young. But I am thinking if something is up with her...then why all the games and no-response to meeting at my place.
Me: Look, I like you. We had a great first date and I was really looking forward to getting to know you and having some drinks at my place tonight.
Her: I know, I just had some terrible news today...
Me: (ok....this could change everything....but still why the games....she's clearly been a rascal about this)
Me: What happened
Her: A found out a good friend of mine passed away.
Me: I explain that that is rough and sympathize. I then ask her why her or her friend didn't tell me that to begin with and we could have re-scheduled? She's seemed to have sobered up in the last 30 min at the food joint and is now talking sense. We chat, have a few laughs, and she even agrees that even though she received that news today she was being a bit of a Tit about getting together instead of being straight up.
Obviously I had to go from letting this girl know I have strong boundaries and don't put up with that behavior to sympathizing with her. I don't know how I would handle that if given the same news.
My thinking was that if she was really into me she would have made it a point to meet at my place for drinks. We hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks so at least I was excited to see her, let her get to know me better in a relaxed environment, and spend a Friday night with a gorgeous girl (I know....I know....high expectations for a 2nd date these days)
The next day I received an apology text saying she didn't handle it very well and that she would like to see me again. She asked if we could start over and I agreed.
The past me would quickly try and re-schedule a date with her while I quickly try and rationalize all of her "other" behavior and forget about it.
Now I'm already thinking of how I need to work on my day game approaches this week and ways to challenge myself.
I think I handled the night OK. I can sympathize with the troubling news she received. But to me if it feels like she is still playing games, than she probably is.
I probably left out some details but at one point in the night she felt like she had to tell me "I could have a boyfriend right now if I wanted"