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This is something I was thinking in the shower about based on the new article Chase posted about women "Image Projecting" their dates. As I said in the title, this is not a technique that I have tried/tested yet but I think would be interesting to try out and wanted to talk about it. Plus I'll get a chance to use it tonight on a Tinder date so I'll come back and talk about it whether the date goes well or not (unless of course it gets cancelled because the weather outside doesn't look too great)
www.girlschase.com
Technique Principle
Disclaimers out of the way, here's the technique: you talk about some things women could potentially 'image project' about you while also talking about things that are less than perfect about you. This way you get to humble brag but also humanize yourself and relate to the girl you're with at the same time while also coming off as more worldly and 'meta' because most people don't think about things like this. Plus, you can take this a step further by including her in this by talking about some cold reads of her that are good but then prompt her to disqualify herself by talking about stuff that's not as perfect
Crappy Examples I Thought of In The Shower:
After she talks about something good about herself you can start with this, or you can just change the topic with "that reminds me of something I've thought about recently"
--> which by the way, side note, "that reminds me of..." is a fantastic way of changing topics whenever you want and is something I've field tested a lot, it works
Continued Example: it's about how people have a tendency to lead with their best foot forward but then they end up creating an image of themselves that's perfect when we're not. Like for example how you're (positive cold read 1) and ( positive cold read 2) but you're also (negative cold read) OR you can trail off with "I'm sure there are things that others might think you're not as great for..."
--> it would be better if she voiced said not as great things, but it's not necessary because she will naturally want to fill the void in her mind and finish that statement. She will think of something because we all have lame things about ourselves
If you want to use it on her. But if you want to use it about yourself:
--> Take me for example, I used to teach ballroom dance, I like photography and I enjoy listening to other people and their stories. I love learning about other people and why they do the things they do (all true btw). Which, if that's all you know about me might make me sound super awesome but I can also be a bit difficult in relationships with people. Just as one example I'm terrible at texting other people back because I don't like texting and don't think about it as much as I should. Like, one minute you get a response back in seconds and the other you're wondering why I haven't texted back in 6 hours
Why I Think It Could Work (with better execution than the crappy examples I gave of course):
1) Chase is right in that people prefer to image project because it makes themselves look better, we lead with our best foot forward towards the direction that we want others to see us. This calls out this natural human tendency (the pace) which makes sense and can come off as a universal truth (because it's so common)
2) When the pace is correct, we have a natural human bias to believe that the lead is correct as long as it's somewhat related. This is how NLP Pacing and Leading works. You describe something that we can verify is true and we're more likely to believe the other things you say after, especially if it's connected because of our brains being pattern recognizing machines. You create a pattern of Truth + Unknown and our brain will interpret it as Truth + Truth
3) If we talk about our own negatives people are more likely to believe the good things we say about ourselves. We see them as more objective because, who wants to talk about our negative sides?
4) P.T. Barnum and Pygmalion Effects --> if we talk about the traits of the person we're talking about (example, if you're on a date and you tell your date about who she is) then they're more likely to believe it as true. This is how horoscopes work so well, they keep it vague and because they believe the horoscope is about them then they're more likely to believe it as true. This is made even more powerful if you talk about things your date has already told you about herself and you take them a small step further
--> example, she talks about how athletic she is. You can reasonably guess that she was good at, at least one sport. Sounds dumb when I put it like that but you'd be surprised how often someone's eyes will light up when you do something like this. Makes you seem observant, intelligent and all kinds of other good things while also flattering the other person and making them feel understood on a deeper level than in everyday life
--> this plays into a person's natural and instinctive narcissism
But yeah, again, I'm sorry I don't have better examples I just thought of this in the shower like 10 minutes ago and wanted to get my thoughts on paper somewhere that people could talk about it
And again, this is not a tested technique, it's something I just thought of that I think could work well. And it's something I'm going to try on tonight's date. But hopefully I can think up some better examples because the above ones are terrible lol
So.... yeah, thoughts?
Girls' Dates & Exes Are Never as Perfect as You Imagine
Girls will giddily talk up the guys they are (or were) going out with. Yet the actual man is never quite as impressive as the picture girls paint… Several weeks ago a reader named Jason H. asked the following on my article about the reasons for there being so many single people: Have you any...
www.girlschase.com
Technique Principle
Disclaimers out of the way, here's the technique: you talk about some things women could potentially 'image project' about you while also talking about things that are less than perfect about you. This way you get to humble brag but also humanize yourself and relate to the girl you're with at the same time while also coming off as more worldly and 'meta' because most people don't think about things like this. Plus, you can take this a step further by including her in this by talking about some cold reads of her that are good but then prompt her to disqualify herself by talking about stuff that's not as perfect
Crappy Examples I Thought of In The Shower:
After she talks about something good about herself you can start with this, or you can just change the topic with "that reminds me of something I've thought about recently"
--> which by the way, side note, "that reminds me of..." is a fantastic way of changing topics whenever you want and is something I've field tested a lot, it works
Continued Example: it's about how people have a tendency to lead with their best foot forward but then they end up creating an image of themselves that's perfect when we're not. Like for example how you're (positive cold read 1) and ( positive cold read 2) but you're also (negative cold read) OR you can trail off with "I'm sure there are things that others might think you're not as great for..."
--> it would be better if she voiced said not as great things, but it's not necessary because she will naturally want to fill the void in her mind and finish that statement. She will think of something because we all have lame things about ourselves
If you want to use it on her. But if you want to use it about yourself:
--> Take me for example, I used to teach ballroom dance, I like photography and I enjoy listening to other people and their stories. I love learning about other people and why they do the things they do (all true btw). Which, if that's all you know about me might make me sound super awesome but I can also be a bit difficult in relationships with people. Just as one example I'm terrible at texting other people back because I don't like texting and don't think about it as much as I should. Like, one minute you get a response back in seconds and the other you're wondering why I haven't texted back in 6 hours
Why I Think It Could Work (with better execution than the crappy examples I gave of course):
1) Chase is right in that people prefer to image project because it makes themselves look better, we lead with our best foot forward towards the direction that we want others to see us. This calls out this natural human tendency (the pace) which makes sense and can come off as a universal truth (because it's so common)
2) When the pace is correct, we have a natural human bias to believe that the lead is correct as long as it's somewhat related. This is how NLP Pacing and Leading works. You describe something that we can verify is true and we're more likely to believe the other things you say after, especially if it's connected because of our brains being pattern recognizing machines. You create a pattern of Truth + Unknown and our brain will interpret it as Truth + Truth
3) If we talk about our own negatives people are more likely to believe the good things we say about ourselves. We see them as more objective because, who wants to talk about our negative sides?
4) P.T. Barnum and Pygmalion Effects --> if we talk about the traits of the person we're talking about (example, if you're on a date and you tell your date about who she is) then they're more likely to believe it as true. This is how horoscopes work so well, they keep it vague and because they believe the horoscope is about them then they're more likely to believe it as true. This is made even more powerful if you talk about things your date has already told you about herself and you take them a small step further
--> example, she talks about how athletic she is. You can reasonably guess that she was good at, at least one sport. Sounds dumb when I put it like that but you'd be surprised how often someone's eyes will light up when you do something like this. Makes you seem observant, intelligent and all kinds of other good things while also flattering the other person and making them feel understood on a deeper level than in everyday life
--> this plays into a person's natural and instinctive narcissism
But yeah, again, I'm sorry I don't have better examples I just thought of this in the shower like 10 minutes ago and wanted to get my thoughts on paper somewhere that people could talk about it
And again, this is not a tested technique, it's something I just thought of that I think could work well. And it's something I'm going to try on tonight's date. But hopefully I can think up some better examples because the above ones are terrible lol
So.... yeah, thoughts?
