- Joined
- Apr 26, 2024
- Messages
- 32
This goes for girls, but it is a pervasive pattern in my life. Everybody I get to know a bit better always tells me they think I am an asshole at first but think I am cool and easy to talk to when they get to know me better. Be it social circle, interviews etc.
If I had to guess I'd rank myself in a pretty high percentile of Machiavellism. For me this manifests in having no interest in people I can't gain something from (doesn't have to be material), coupled with my normally really dominant behaviour I can see myself being perceived as stand-offish in the past when meeting new people as I didn't necessarily stand to gain something from interacting with them.
But I have worked quite a lot on becoming more likeable the last few months as I have come to realize that a strong network is something I don't have but is reallly important. Started assuming people are inherently valuable to me, maybe not as direct contacts but diving boards for other social circles. Doesn't mean I hate(d) people, just that I am/was indifferent to people that don't really help me in any way. Got more open, smiled more.
Now coming to girls I think my game is a bit skewed toward a lot of push (as in push-pull), because I simply don't care and like to have fun that way. I always get giggly responses as well from girls that are clearly below my attractiveness level or insecure.
A few days ago I had another new female friend tell me that she thought I was an asshole at first because I had qualified her. I met her in a dancing class and we went to another dance event together where she told me so. Now she is a 4/10 so could be that was too much for her, but from my perspective it was simple flirting, I made fun of her, she showed submissive responses.
Now there is the social aspect that scaring away people isn't good, which I don't want, but there is also the question whether the container word asshole is actually useful for me in a pick up sense. If she flirted back and is responsive that isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I do want to learn how to pull (as in push-pull) better, because I barely do it and when I do it is in an uncalibrated way (think lamo "you are cute in that" compliment). I think I could cushion the push better and would have more success that way.
Should I just look at old Mystery tapes and go from there or do you have better resources/a better approach for learning the pull part better?
There is another thing I find happening and that is women not responding when I try to flirt, like making light teases. Assuming I have the physical side maxed out, what other things can I do to have women respond more submissively to me? I am assuming right from the Opener, but I also need it in Social Circle.
If I had to guess I'd rank myself in a pretty high percentile of Machiavellism. For me this manifests in having no interest in people I can't gain something from (doesn't have to be material), coupled with my normally really dominant behaviour I can see myself being perceived as stand-offish in the past when meeting new people as I didn't necessarily stand to gain something from interacting with them.
But I have worked quite a lot on becoming more likeable the last few months as I have come to realize that a strong network is something I don't have but is reallly important. Started assuming people are inherently valuable to me, maybe not as direct contacts but diving boards for other social circles. Doesn't mean I hate(d) people, just that I am/was indifferent to people that don't really help me in any way. Got more open, smiled more.
Now coming to girls I think my game is a bit skewed toward a lot of push (as in push-pull), because I simply don't care and like to have fun that way. I always get giggly responses as well from girls that are clearly below my attractiveness level or insecure.
A few days ago I had another new female friend tell me that she thought I was an asshole at first because I had qualified her. I met her in a dancing class and we went to another dance event together where she told me so. Now she is a 4/10 so could be that was too much for her, but from my perspective it was simple flirting, I made fun of her, she showed submissive responses.
Now there is the social aspect that scaring away people isn't good, which I don't want, but there is also the question whether the container word asshole is actually useful for me in a pick up sense. If she flirted back and is responsive that isn't necessarily a bad thing. But I do want to learn how to pull (as in push-pull) better, because I barely do it and when I do it is in an uncalibrated way (think lamo "you are cute in that" compliment). I think I could cushion the push better and would have more success that way.
Should I just look at old Mystery tapes and go from there or do you have better resources/a better approach for learning the pull part better?
There is another thing I find happening and that is women not responding when I try to flirt, like making light teases. Assuming I have the physical side maxed out, what other things can I do to have women respond more submissively to me? I am assuming right from the Opener, but I also need it in Social Circle.
