This girls keeps COMING BACK, is she wasting my time or can I convert her?

[Big Daddy]

Hey gents,

Real quick here. I'd search for an article about this, but I became so lost I figured I'd ask what you guys thought. Wanna know if there's a proper way to "convert" a seemingly time waster that keeps coming back but won't meet/fuck/comply.

Long story short, met girl late last year an failed to pull her home because of logistics. Thought it was doomed, so didn't pay much attention to it after that. She started going out with a guy and started giving me hints that she was seeing a guy and I realized right away that I was friendzoned.

Didn't quite mind because at the time she hinted this for the first time I was in a date with another girl. I figured, "eh, at least I got a hot friend" and continued with my life, but I'd always maintain a lover frame whether she talked to me. Talked about other girls, sex, joked about we hooking up because her guy was a pussy... and she'd joke back.

I know most of her joking was/is generally BS because every time I asked her out she either had an excuse, ignored, etc, but since I didn't care whether I fucked her or not I just ignored. Fast forward this year, she's back to her baseline self and not going out that much anymore/seeing anyone that I know (or care), has sent me a nude but it doesn't seem to go beyond that.

Over the past two-ish months, I became overly annoyed of talking to her because I didn't see it going nowhere, so I never initiated conversation.

After a week she'd come back and try to get something going and the last one was yesterday after 3 weeks of radio silence. And whenever she did I was just uber polarizing/aggressive with meeting, nudes, etc because since I don't care if she stops talking to me I figured I'd at least test the limits.

But now I'm wondering if there's a better way to convert girls like this into actual fucks?

I wasn't investing in her hooks at all and coming back to women and sex every time it was appropriate (she actually started this by sending a lot of pics of blonde girls because she was thinking about dyeing her hair) and I'd comment on them. In the end, after I made a joke that could be either understood as hair or pussy, she said "well, enough for today" and stopped texting in the same way you'd say to a drunk friend after trying to talk him for a while before giving up.

Every time she starts something she's very friendly/warm and there's and effort to keep something going. I respond appropriately, and I'm generally warm, giving equal length replies. I just don't invest that much and push hard for whatever it is that I want: pic, meet, etc.

Even if there's nothing with this girl in particular, I figured it'd be interesting to know if there's a better way to do this so I could at least practice the proper technique. Any thoughts?

 

[Big Daddy]

Yeah, thanks man. I thought the same, just wanted a second confirmation.

I actually deleted her number and she didn't text back, so...

 

[Improvementalist]

Oh yeah, there's definitely things you can do differently.

The situation right now is that you're both wasting each others time. She's wasting yours and you're wasting hers.

And what's up with the nude pics? Why are you pleading her to send those? Neediness, which tells of scarcity, which in turn tells to a girl that she should probably have second thoughts about you..


Theres' one thing you've done right here and it's that you walked away, deleting her number.


When a girl who might be interested contacts you after a period silence, it's either two things:

1. She wants you to hook up with her

or

2. She wants your attention - and only that (friend zone), or she wants your attention for (see 1.)

Seeing how you've placed yourself in her life, and how she treats you, it's probably 2 right now.


You keep contact via text? You need to only text her in order to set a date with her. Don't be aggressive with the date setting, that also tells of neediness and scarcity mentality. Be calm and playful, friendly even. If you're friendly with a person it doesn't mean you're put straight into the friend zone.

When she sent you blonde pics and you commented them.. Perhaps she was thinking of dyeing her hair for a new guy she's dating? She only wanted your opinion if it looks good on her, hinting that you're in the friend zone.

So next time she contacts you, try to set a date like you did before. If she declines, ask her to contact you again when she changes her mind. And walk away. If she tries to put you into the friend zone, tell her you're not having any of it and walk away.

Either she returns to you, or you'll not hear from her again and it's time to move on.

And once more, stop asking nude pics. Seriously.



Cheers,

Improvementalist

 

[Mr.Z]

Hey.

Confused situation, huh? Well, I agree with the reply right over mine saying she wants validations and wants to feel she has options (even if she doesn't use them, it makes her feel good and confident). You're in a situation where you don't care if you lose the girl and she's still investing some little energy.

Simply throw the ball at her. No neediness. No bullshit. Go along the lines of: Hey. You know I appreciate talking to you, but I got a pretty busy life. I understand you got a busy schedule too. So I may be off texting in the future, but if you're down to hangout out somedays, hit me up.

Didn't think much about the way to phrase it, but basically this is your best shot. Don't ask any more for nudes [which she could view as a fair exchange: your attention/time to text for some nudes]. Don't push more than needed. Let her understand if she wants to meet, it's up to her, as you like her, but you got other things to do [right balance of attainability].

Ps: Otherwise, you may want to try to set something over phone. If you got tight phone fundamentals [voice, debit, intonation, etc], you can quickly screen logistics without taking 6-7 messages over a long time frame (thus reducing your value due to your long non-compliance precedent) and see if it leads somewhere.

Mr.Z

 

[skin_man]

Or what if you told her outright that you wanted to "fuck you till you cum", that could trigger a reaction. Seeing that she's quite invested.

There's someone who invited a girl over for cunnilingus. She scheduled a meet right on the spot. Prior to this, the texts seemed 'directionless'. So that could strike something in her.

Enjoy

 

[Big Daddy]

Oh, never revisited this one.

There is absolutely nothing wrong in asking for pictures, you guys are too worried. I eventually got one for replying to her texts while taking dumps. Whenever she'd hit me up, I'd make jokes and ask for the pic and then forget it. Who cares if she was just a tease, getting pics for nothing is a pretty good deal if you ask me.

As a note to self, though, I suspect that a better MO would be what skin_man suggested above... had I "not cared" by being over-the-top aggressive after she sent me the picture and suggested the juiciest fucking rampage ever instead of actually not caring at all, I might've had a (slight) chance.

The batting average in these cases will never be high, but if you hit them, the return of investment will be sweet (assuming, of course, you don't invest almost at all).