This Is A Cry For Help.

[Mr Mistah]

I feel like a Ferrari stuck on neutral.

Something isn’t quite right and I don’t know how to escape this strange purgatory of mine.

Let me explain.

I discovered this site in 2018 when I was in 1st year of campus.

I studied EVERYTHING on here and then went on to study almost EVERYBODY else as far as game is concerned OBSESSIVELY.

Note the emphasis.

I want to make the point that while I am stuck seduction wise, I am basically a walking repository of game.

I have studied it all. New age and old school seducers alike.

GC, Heartiste, Roosh, Rollo, La Ruina, RSD, D Angelo, Tom Torero, Bristollair, Ross Jeffries, Mystery, Strauss, Nick Sparks, Swing Cat, Mark Manson, Pwf, coach kyle, Tay social etc
Also add a shit ton of academic sexuality and evo psych books by guys like Geoffrey Miller, Simon Sheppard, Michael Bader, Karl Stifler etc on top of that list.

Even read books by women like Nancy Friday, Esther Vilar and Karen Brody.

I have reread the same texts over and over again and then gone out to observe myself and other peoples interactions until the concepts became deeply embedded in my brain like surgery.

I also sometimes hang around the forum reading other peoples problems and diagnosing them in my head before reading other responses.

95% of the time my responses usually match the ones given by more advanced seducers.

No KJ shit but I honestly believe I have all this seduction stuff figured out.

I may not have much real world experience to back up this claim but I genuinely feel like I understand it all.

And that’s my dilemma.

Nobody will take me seriously when I say this including myself.

So one side of me feels like a guru but a smaller voice keeps whispering that if I don’t have experience then its all talk.

These two voices is why I say that I feel like a Ferrari stuck on neutral.

It doesn’t help that I’ve also had somewhat moderate success as far as games goes.

I have had (and still do) girls pinning for me even though I didn’t reciprocate for some reason.

I have also been a proactive party where I hit on girls and make them quiver just by fucking around with the energy and building sexual tension. I’m kind of a troll so when I do this Im not particularly interested in getting laid.

I just enjoy seeing girls squirming in my presence lol.

So while I may be stuck seduction wise I am 100% not afraid of tension as a beginner would. I have talked to dominant extroverted independent type chicks and watched them go all feminine when I turn up the intensity.

In 11th grade I had a rich HB 7 girl literally beg me to go out with her on a date. When I told her candidly that I was broke she literally forced a wad of cash in my palm and begged me take her.

(Guess what this genius did? I didn’t take her :/)

Ive also gotten into an altercation in a club when an angry bf confronted me when he noticed I had been secretly feeling up his girl in the dark while he was talking to her.

Girl in question had a horny zoned out look on her face so she just let me do it to her without fighting me or anything. I think she was ovulatiog.

In the same neighbourhood a 30ish looking lady saw me sitting on a bench trying to fix my bag which had a bad zip. She opened by shouting a distance away asking me what Im doing then came closer and made empty conversation, complemented my hair, turned around and asked me what I think about her mini skirt then asked if we could go to my place to “smoke weed” (she clearly wanted to fuck).

This whole interaction I must admit threw me off. Never had such a direct interaction before. It wasn’t until I became concious of her skimpy outfit and slurred speech that I understood she had just come from inside a nearby bar and was drunk and horny. it was around 6.30pm

I politely declined bc she wasn’t exactly a looker then she asked me if Im gay or something haha.

In 8th grade I had a girl accompany her friend to tell me that girl 2 liked me then dared me to make out with her in front of the class. The whole class roared for me to do it but I didn’t.

I could go on and on and on but the point im making is that female interest has always been there for me even when I didn’t know jack about game but for some weird reason I just cant seem to pull the fucking trigger.

My social skills are decent, girls show interest now and again, I am tall (6’2) and carry myself well.

A girl once told me that I’m “like a spy” (James Bond vibes I’m assuming)

Other girl told me that Im “cool” as in I have a very relaxed vibe.

Other girl opened up to me about her BDSM fantasies within 15-20 minutes of meeting her. I was kind of a novice on the topic so she ended up teaching me about things i didn’t even know were a thing eg a St Peters wheel or sth like that. Funny thing is that the week before I had just studied Alex’s piece on sex talk.

I dont have MWC and also adopted sexually liberal attitudes.e.g shedded off latent homophobia that I had.
Unlike most guys I now genuinely dont harbour any revulsion against gay dudes or promiscouis chicks.

Beyond that my friends also come to me for advice on game because I simply never miss. I guess you could call me an armchair specialist on women/game/p*ssy.

Basically what Im trying to say is that I have all the marks of someone who would be at least mid Intermediate at game and yet I don’t have shit to show for it. No makeouts 0 lay count but a shit ton of opportunities where both these thing s could have happened if I had just pull the trigger.

Wtf is this shit and how do I solve it bc I feel like a sleeping giant and it is eating me internally.

And before any of you wisecracks go “jUst GO dO mOrE apPrOAcHes bRo” please understand that I sometimes have girls literally falling into my lap but when it comes to seeing it through something in me just switches off.

I can flirt I can have sexualized convos I can approach I can play with sexual tension but I just cant see it through man.

I did an attachment type test and score really really high as a dismissive avoidant. (Google it)

Could this be it or is it sth else.

I am also intj if any of you mbti nerds are curious.

Thank you and I look forward to hearing your responses.

 

[ulrich]

Why do you not move forward when the opportunities come?
Do you feel fear? Anxiety? Does it make you feel guilty somehow?

You talked much about what you think and how it should work but gave us no indication of how you feel when you actually have a girl flirting in front of you.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

It's sounds like to me that your afraid to get too close to someone. I'm gonna take some guesses here. This could be because your afraid of what happens when you risk intimacy.

They may leave you. They may not want the same type of connection you want.

Some questions to give us a better picture: What are your thoughts like when you are about to get intimate with a girl? What are your feelings when this occurs? Try to imagine a worst case scenario of you going for the kiss, then accept that imagined outcome.

My guess is that somewhere in your mind there is a hesitancy towards women. You need to find out why that hesitancy exists. You know yourself better than anyone else, only you can find out what that secret is.

Inner reflection on yourself and past interactions with women coupled with approaching women I bet will solve this issue.

If you really want to figure this out, I suggest therapy. Not to say you are broken or crazy or any other stigma that is associated with therapy. It's simply you have a problem and you need to find a way to fix that problem. A therapist is like a mirror, they allow you to reflect on yourself and find out your own answers. I would know because I currently am in therapy.

I also suggest meditation, you could meditate on this issue. You would first do a simple awareness meditation to clear your mind, and then you have the mental space to contemplate this. Your first couple times of meditation it may be difficult to empty your mind, but if you practice enough it will happen.

Meditation also helps combat approach anxiety and allows for clarity during your seductions.

Hope this helps!

 

[Mr Mistah]

Why do you not move forward when the opportunities come?
Do you feel fear? Anxiety? Does it make you feel guilty somehow?

You talked much about what you think and how it should work but gave us no indication of how you feel when you actually have a girl flirting in front of you.

I usually go from 100 to 0 in a flash.

Not fear not anxiety but a sudden loss of desire.

Kind of post nut clarity where all the fuzzy feelings Ive created with the girl start feeling yuck.

I also sometimes feel like things are escalating too fast/ things are getting too real.

You can think of it as state control but for men lmao.

It's sounds like to me that your afraid to get too close to someone. I'm gonna take some guesses here. This could be because your afraid of what happens when you risk intimacy.

They may leave you. They may not want the same type of connection you want.

You could be onto something here but I want to know...

Why cant I simply shelve these inhibitions and take pleasure from these hookups like an unemotional fuckboy would.

I realised that while I love flirting with women I sometimes get turned off when they start to reciprocate interest.
I hate when I kino then they suddenly start kinoing back aggressively.
I might initially get hot but after sometime I go numb and feel the need to gtfo of there.

A girl that was once into me but I pulled the same shtick of not moving forward the interaction once expressed in frustration that "I'm mysterious" and "hard to get to know". I could tell she still wanted me but was cooling off and getting tired of the run around I'd been giving her,

Would appreciate hearing @Skills input on this.

 

[ulrich]

Oh man, @Mr Mistah sounds like a deep psychological thing.
Those numbness reactions sound like a conditioned or defensive adaptation to something.
The fact that it goes from 100 to 0 points out to some kind of misguided survival instinct.

I don’t think I’m qualified to discuss more on this issue… perhaps this is work for a psychologist.
Have you considered visiting one?

 

[Rakehell]

Not trying to be funny when I ask are you actually attracted to girls?

By the way you describe yourself and what you quantify as having “mid intermediate” game leads me to believe that your goals are more validation based than anything. I mean how can you judge your level of game if you never push for tangible results outside of flirty behavior and reactions.

Not saying you dont have game just pointing out the contradiction of, receiving validation = having game.

To me it sounds like you need to evaluate what it is you want from this.

 

[TomInHo]

You have escalation anxiety

Look @Mr Mistah forget about being an intermediate or advanced seducer because no one really cares. Sure you may know all the material but you are not following through from start to finish.

I suggest you do escalation drills when you go out and instead of looking for reactions, go for hard objective stuff like

- Phone numbers
- Makeouts
- Pulls
- Blowjobs
- Sex

Force yourself to escalate the interaction to get at least one tangible result. Do this even if you think it doesn't make sense. This will get you in the habit of always trying to close every interaction and build more social awareness

Because without escalation, you will not be able to have anything tangible for all your effort. It may sound like common sense but you really need to start setting some goals for yourself so you know how all the seduction tech can help you achieve them.

Start small and work your way up, while thinking of it like exposure therapy

 

[Mr Mistah]

Not trying to be funny when I ask are you actually attracted to girls?

By the way you describe yourself and what you quantify as having “mid intermediate” game leads me to believe that your goals are more validation based than anything. I mean how can you judge your level of game if you never push for tangible results outside of flirty behavior and reactions.

Not saying you dont have game just pointing out the contradiction of, receiving validation = having game.

To me it sounds like you need to evaluate what it is you want from this.

I am straight lol.

I like girls but something keeps me from seeing it through.

I understand the premise behind Reactions =/= Results

But I have proven to myself time and time again that I can open, hook, create tension, create comfort.

I basically make it to the point where I see the finish line right in front of me before ejecting suddenly and I dont think its because I am afraid or anything.

Just a sudden lost of interest.

Like somebody just cut the power.

The logical response to this is "Yo. This guys is chasing validation over results."

But guys, as hardheaded and obtuse as this sounds, I genuinely donth think that's me. I'm very self aware and know when Im Bull shitting myself and this isnt one of those times.


I dont want to be the guy who gets girls hot and heavy but never lays. Thats a pyrric victory and i have enough self awareness to recognise that.

There is 0 value to being a male siren who gets girls chasing after him but goes home all high and dry.

I want results and I want them quick which is why I decided to come on here and figure out what is holding me back.

I understand the process like the back of my hand and sometimes when Im in flow state I create whirlwind seductions where I do literally everything but in the 90th minute something in me shuts off.

You have escalation anxiety

Whenever I eject from such interactions "anxious" is the last thing I feel.

As I said before I have a high threshold for building and holding tension to the extent that sometimes its the girls that eject from the interaction before me.

I can hold my own in a conversation to the extent that I sometimes have to tamper down my own intensity so as to not overwhelm the girl.

Because without escalation, you will not be able to have anything tangible for all your effort. It may sound like common sense but you really need to start setting some goals for yourself so you know how all the seduction tech can help you achieve them.

My goal is to overcome this bump which is exactly why I'm here looking for solutions.

But I appreciate the exposure therapy thing as far as escalating goes. I'll try and implement that but I must say that this forced escalation sometimes feels like jerking off to porn after you've already nutted.

Not sure wtf that is about tbh.

The furthest I have gone when escalating is when I switched off my brain and went primal. I was in state and generally not thinking about much. I went caveman but still didnt make it to the other side.

And yes I am 100% straight.

 

[Will_V]

@Mr Mistah sounds like you have a fear of failure my friend.

You talk yourself up a lot, you digest loads of content, you work tension until it's too much without actually using it to get anywhere, and when you approach the crucial point, your emotions plummet.

That's fine, we've all been there. Especially getting laid for the first time is often very hard to mentally deal with.

My suggestion is to stay chill and proceed. Disregard your feelings, just keep moving forward with things. Oh, she's complying with this? Cool. Let me escalate and see what happens. Did she agree to come over? Cool, let's call the uber.

The only thing that should stop you is a rejection. Not your feelings, not what you think of yourself, nothing. You know the steps? Do them regardless. Live in the present, in reality, in action. Only accept obstacles that actually stop you from moving forward.

 

[Mr Mistah]

Fear of failure?

How can that be when things are quite literally going my way.

I've had a girl sitting on my lap all worked up and ready to go but something in me went off.

In the moment I don't feel scared or anything.
In the moment I know that this is mine for the taking.
Mentally I have crossed the finish line.

Also a girl telling me off is inconsequential to me.

Infact I dont take easily to girls who are fawning over me from the go. I like girls I have to work for.

I understand that over text I may come across as having an inflated sense of self/ delusions of grandeur/keyboard jockeying despite not having a solid body of work but that isnt my intention all.

All Im trying to do is pre empt prescriptions that are suited to beginners like "jUst Go Do mOrE apPrOaCheS" or "lEarN hOw To HanDle TeNsioN" or "yOu ArE sCarEd of ReJeCtIOn".

No. Been there done that.

I have hnadled 95%. What remains is the last 5%.

Sorry if this sounds brash but it seems like this point isnt quite getting across.
I am still open minded tho and willing to learn. Maybe theres sth that you guys see that I cant.

 

[Will_V]

Fear of failure?

How can that be when things are quite literally going my way.

I've had a girl sitting on my lap all worked up and ready to go but something in me went off.

In the moment I don't feel scared or anything.
In the moment I know that this is mine for the taking.
Mentally I have crossed the finish line.

Also a girl telling me off is inconsequential to me.

Infact I dont take easily to girls who are fawning over me from the go. I like girls I have to work for.

I understand that over text I may come across as having an inflated sense of self/ delusions of grandeur/keyboard jockeying despite not having a solid body of work but that isnt my intention all.

All Im trying to do is pre empt prescriptions that are suited to beginners like "jUst Go Do mOrE apPrOaCheS" or "lEarN hOw To HanDle TeNsioN" or "yOu ArE sCarEd of ReJeCtIOn".

No. Been there done that.

I have hnadled 95%. What remains is the last 5%.

Sorry if this sounds brash but it seems like this point isnt quite getting across.
I am still open minded tho and willing to learn. Maybe theres sth that you guys see that I cant.

So why not just proceed with the seduction anyway? Do it for scientific purposes.

You are afraid of something, but right now, it's not that important what that thing is. What is important is that you stop allowing your emotions to dictate your actions.

Imagine if you were Ronaldo and you were about to go on the pitch, and all the fans are screaming, and you just lose motivation suddenly. Are you going to just turn around and walk off? No, you go anyway. You do what you've decided you will do. Later on you can consider why your emotions didn't hold up, but now is the time to focus on action.

Right now it should be clear that your emotions are not reliable, and that it's time to shift focus to a more reliable indication of what to do next. Every man must be able to circumvent his emotions when it counts, girls don't have to do this, but we can't avoid it.

 

[Chase]

@Mr Mistah,

Welcome to the Boards.

Many good replies from the other gents here.

Just going to take a stab. Tell me if this sounds familiar.

When I was in high school, I had a very high opinion of myself (well, I suppose I've always had a high opinion of myself ).

I used to get all these different girls asking me out, but I had all these issues and just rejected every one.

One of the things that would happen a lot of the time though was I would get some girl who was pretty cute but not THE HOTTEST HIGHEST STATUS CHICK EVER, and we could flirt fine, and I might even fantasize about her, but then when we hit D-Day and she straight up asked me out I'd suddenly go, "Wait, I don't think this girl is hot and cool enough for me... and she has some other imperfections I don't like... I mean, am I really ready to throw myself into it with this girl? And then once we are together everyone is going to know it too... Man, I don't think she actually qualifies," so I'd tell her no.

It feels stupid looking back. Sometimes it even felt stupid the next day:

• I had this tall, sexy, saucy redhead with a big rack (pretty slim waist too) two years ahead of me ask me to be her prom date when I was just a sophomore after we'd been flirting for months... I'd even jerked it to her on plenty of occasions... but when she asked me suddenly I was like "Ew, I mean, she's hot, but not AS hot as some of the other girls who like me. Her face is just cute, not gorgeous. And she's not that smart and not super popular. I can't say yes." Another part of my brain was saying, "Dude, this girl's a sexpot, she's inviting you to prom 2 YEARS BEFORE YOU'RE A SENIOR, she's 2 years older than you which is high status enough, no other sophomore guys are banging senior girls, it's not like she's sticking around in school the next 2 years so you don't even have to worry about an LTR, just GO and lose your v-card, you will have the experience of a lifetime!" but the hang-up killed me. I got icy toward her and she told me, "You know, sometimes I feel like you don't like me," and I just strongly hinted she was right. She left me alone after that. I feel like a total douche looking back on that. Man, I harsh-rejected so many girls. Hands down would bang if I could go back and do it again.
  
  
• Another super cute spunky chick I talked to everyday insulted the really hot head cheerleader girl who tried to get me to go out with her... then I waited too long, fell for her, but botched getting her out... then immediately after trashing this girl I was pining for, the spunky chick asked me out, and I very cockily shot her down, partly to show her for insulting that other girl, partly because I felt like she wasn't really on my level. Again, feel like a douche looking back; that girl was really cute and really liked me. I 100% should've popped her v-card.
  
  
• Even earlier than those two, I had this very hot but quite short blonde run me down to ask me to go out with her. I tried to decline politely, but she pressed me for a reason why I didn't want to go out with her. I ultimately told her, "I just don't find you personally attractive," which in retrospect is like the harshest thing you could say to a girl. She was really very pretty. The real reason was I thought "Well, she's too short, so she doesn't meet the cut"... saw her at my 5-year high school reunion and she was the hottest girl from my class there by far. Perfect hair, makeup, dress -- I wonder how much of her obsession with appearance was a result of that rejection by me. She straight up ice-cold ignored me the whole reunion. Guess that wound never quite healed...

I have more like that too, but those are the three that really stick in my mind. I regret how I treated all three of those girls. They did not deserve that.

It happened to me more in college... I recognized it as some kind of elitism, superiority thing, where I felt like no chick was really good enough for me, that I was lowering myself to go with any of these girls... like if I were to actually agree to a one-on-one whatever with a girl I was sort of putting myself down at her position.

Eventually I had to say to myself, "This is ridiculous. You can't both be a super elite superior human and also never get laid at all ever and have no women in your life. You need to set this elitism aside and get your XP up."

It's not like it fully goes away, just kind of moves to the background. My family was a wealthy and powerful family in central Europe down to modern times, and I can trace one part of my ancestry to 1000-year-old Scottish nobility. So maybe there is some kind of genetic "I'm a noble / aristocrat / leadership class" programming in there, or who knows... not even sure exactly where that mentality comes from.

But if elitism/haughtiness/superiority is your thing, you need to be able to shift over into a mindset first of "I need to get my XP up" and focus on getting experiences, where the girl being super duper perfect shining 10/10 quality who is totally on your level is not the requirement, just "Gotta get some XP, so let's do this" is.

Eventually after you get more experience, you chill out about it. Not like you stop feeling like you are The Man or anything... That never goes away ... more that you stop worrying that by picking up and fucking these girls you are sullying yourself by association with the common rabble.

Another thing I did that probably helped me as much as anything was just going total opposite mode... I was hanging out with rednecks, ghetto black guys, going to illegal Mexican immigrant cookouts, just all the lowest class people (not exclusively; I was mingling with all sorts). Once I started traveling in the third world I mingled with everyone... I've hung out with celebrities on the covers of magazines one day and broke taxi drivers from jungle countries the next. It made me much more a man of the people. The sense of who you are doesn't leave, but it makes you connected toward all these different types and empathetic toward them. Way more so than what pretty much any ordinary guy will be, because he doesn't have that drive (leadership drive?) to learn how to associate with and lead so many different types of folks.

As for women, you don't truly know them until you've been inside them... so for building empathy with women, you've got to actually get your dick wet. Many times with many girls, preferably

Some articles you will probably find helpful, assuming my diagnosis is on-the-mark:

Lower Your Standards (and Date Hotter Girls)

In "How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?," Balla asks whether to lower your standards in pursuit of getting the best results with women achievable: “Hey Chase, I can agree with everything you wrote to a T. What I want to ask about is this. You say naturals are better to learn from...

www.girlschase.com

Reference Points and Changing Worldviews

I'm being driven nuts right now about a discussion I'm having with my girlfriend about something we've already discussed and I thought was settled. It has to do with a difference in belief systems; I show her solid evidence and research from the West proving my position, she returns to hearsay...

www.girlschase.com

The Natural Mindset: Taking More Pleasure from Hook Ups

Note before we get started: this one’s more for intermediate and up guys who are running into this issue. For guys who are beginners, stick with treating your interactions with women more “mechanistically” and breaking them down into bite-sized pieces and goals you’re trying to accomplish and...

www.girlschase.com

How Do You Make Strict Girlfriend Standards Work?

As an experienced dater, how do you juggle strict standards for girlfriends vs. the qualifying girls’ rarity? What must you compromise on to get the women you want? Writing on my article "Must the Girl You’re with Be a Perfect Fit?", a reader asks: So Chase how often do you compromise on your...

www.girlschase.com

Good luck.

Chase

 

[TomInHo]

Fear of failure?

How can that be when things are quite literally going my way.

I've had a girl sitting on my lap all worked up and ready to go but something in me went off.

In the moment I don't feel scared or anything.
In the moment I know that this is mine for the taking.
Mentally I have crossed the finish line.

Also a girl telling me off is inconsequential to me.

Infact I dont take easily to girls who are fawning over me from the go. I like girls I have to work for.

I understand that over text I may come across as having an inflated sense of self/ delusions of grandeur/keyboard jockeying despite not having a solid body of work but that isnt my intention all.

All Im trying to do is pre empt prescriptions that are suited to beginners like "jUst Go Do mOrE apPrOaCheS" or "lEarN hOw To HanDle TeNsioN" or "yOu ArE sCarEd of ReJeCtIOn".

No. Been there done that.

I have hnadled 95%. What remains is the last 5%.

Sorry if this sounds brash but it seems like this point isnt quite getting across.
I am still open minded tho and willing to learn. Maybe theres sth that you guys see that I cant.

You are delusional and scared of rejection

Start getting rejected and stop wasting our time

 

[Mr Mistah]

So why not just proceed with the seduction anyway? Do it for scientific purposes.

You are afraid of something, but right now, it's not that important what that thing is. What is important is that you stop allowing your emotions to dictate your actions.

Imagine if you were Ronaldo and you were about to go on the pitch, and all the fans are screaming, and you just lose motivation suddenly. Are you going to just turn around and walk off? No, you go anyway. You do what you've decided you will do. Later on you can consider why your emotions didn't hold up, but now is the time to focus on action.

Right now it should be clear that your emotions are not reliable, and that it's time to shift focus to a more reliable indication of what to do next. Every man must be able to circumvent his emotions when it counts, girls don't have to do this, but we can't avoid it.

Completely agree that something is holding me back even though I cant quite figure out what.

Which is why I used the analogy of a Ferrari stuck on neutral.

I am stuck and trying to unstuck myself.

The key take away here from you and previous commenters is to try and push past the resistance and see what happens.

I will certainly try and implement that although as I described earlier the sensation I get from doing that is like watching porn video after already busting one.

Like I will get a girl all hot and heavy but the moment that thing inside me flips I start feeling like Id rather be somewhere else doing my taxes or watching paint dry.

Then later after the fact I beat myself for it because I was truly feeling the chick.

Anyway thank you for your input my #1 goal now is to try to push past my own internal resistance and see what happens.

Eventually after you get more experience, you chill out about it. Not like you stop feeling like you are The Man or anything... That never goes away ... more that you stop worrying that by picking up and fucking these girls you are sullying yourself by association with the common rabble.

Thank you for replying @Chase

I see how you arrived at this diagnosis.

My prose reeks of grandiosity so I understand how you would think that I am one of those picky beginners who think they are too good to sleep with girl x and y.

That isnt quite me.
I am well aware of that type of beginners conceitedness which is mostly a type of cope and have made strides to kill that shit in myself.

Infact I would say that I built up my acumen by hitting on chicks who I wasnt even all that into.
I also sometimes hit on conventionally unattractive chicks because I can tell they don't get all that much male attention. In any mixed setting every guy is usually pining for the same attractive 3-4 women so I sometimes spot the uglies and flirt with them for shits and giggles.

I am not status oriented so I dont care much what other people think of this.
Sometimes I even let these girls reject me to give them an ego boost to feel better about themselves.

So while I indeed think highly of myself and relate to feeling like an elite I also see myself as an Adonis with a commoners touch.
I am a big deal but I don't let it get into my head.

And I certainly dont think I am too good to fuck a fattie or anything like that. I honestly see it like Im doing her a favour by indulging her and giving her my time. This is that grandiosity again but please bear with me dear reader haha.

Non judgmentalism and humility is something i worked on while I was deprogramming from MWC, homophobia and generally becoming more sexually liberal/ accepting of others.

 

[Mr Mistah]

You are delusional and scared of rejection

Start getting rejected and stop wasting our time

I understand the candor/straight talk but that would be more helpful to keyboard jockies which I am not.

To satisfy you, I will have you know that the latest rejection I had was yesterday but one where I chatted up a chick that works at a nearby store, built rapport got her laughing, made R rated jokes but when I tried to get into sex talk she rebuffed me.

Told me that the conversation im having with her is too personal.
I guess i jumped the gun too soon so i backed off.

That is rejection. I am not afraid of it because i know it is something i can learn from.

I know my tone full of bravado doesnt quite help my case but please try and catch the earnestness and nuance in everything I am relaying to you here today.
Namaste.

 

[Zoro]

Do you practice nofap or semen retention?

 

[Skills]

You are delusional and scared of rejection

Start getting rejected and stop wasting our time

Yes as we discuss he gets off on the validation and scare the interaction high may go down/south... thrill of chase problem, is common....

 

[Will_V]

Completely agree that something is holding me back even though I cant quite figure out what.

Which is why I used the analogy of a Ferrari stuck on neutral.

I am stuck and trying to unstuck myself.

The key take away here from you and previous commenters is to try and push past the resistance and see what happens.

I will certainly try and implement that although as I described earlier the sensation I get from doing that is like watching porn video after already busting one.

Like I will get a girl all hot and heavy but the moment that thing inside me flips I start feeling like Id rather be somewhere else doing my taxes or watching paint dry.

Then later after the fact I beat myself for it because I was truly feeling the chick.

Anyway thank you for your input my #1 goal now is to try to push past my own internal resistance and see what happens.

Thank you for replying @Chase

I see how you arrived at this diagnosis.

My prose reeks of grandiosity so I understand how you would think that I am one of those picky beginners who think they are too good to sleep with girl x and y.

That isnt quite me.
I am well aware of that type of beginners conceitedness which is mostly a type of cope and have made strides to kill that shit in myself.

Infact I would say that I built up my acumen by hitting on chicks who I wasnt even all that into.
I also sometimes hit on conventionally unattractive chicks because I can tell they don't get all that much male attention. In any mixed setting every guy is usually pining for the same attractive 3-4 women so I sometimes spot the uglies and flirt with them for shits and giggles.

I am not status oriented so I dont care much what other people think of this.
Sometimes I even let these girls reject me to give them an ego boost to feel better about themselves.

So while I indeed think highly of myself and relate to feeling like an elite I also see myself as an Adonis with a commoners touch.
I am a big deal but I don't let it get into my head.

And I certainly dont think I am too good to fuck a fattie or anything like that. I honestly see it like Im doing her a favour by indulging her and giving her my time. This is that grandiosity again but please bear with me dear reader haha.

Non judgmentalism and humility is something i worked on while I was deprogramming from MWC, homophobia and generally becoming more sexually liberal/ accepting of others.

Good to hear, and look forward to seeing how it goes for you.

In a previous comment, you said that you wanted to preempt replies aimed at beginners.

You are a beginner (you said your laycount is 0), and I encourage you to look at yourself as one. I always try to look at myself as being at the bottom of the mountain of my potential. I always refer to myself as a student of the game, which is exactly what I am, and I hope I never cease to be one.

But it's more than just a label. A beginner mind describes someone who remains open and curious, who accepts instructions without fully understanding them, to see where they can lead. A beginner mind is someone who does not judge all the outcomes but explores them one by one, spending their abundant resources on novel experiences without presuming to know exactly which ones are worthwhile, taking risks and reaping tons of both reward and failure, knowing that the wealth of experience will consolidate into something reliable later on through the lens of perception, pain, and pleasure.

Girls, seduction, all this stuff is no big deal. It's just another set of experiences of life that you can choose to enjoy through and through.

 

[Lover]

@ not escalating further and losing interest quickly when girls show interest: is there any similarity to your relationship with your parents or their relationship with each other?

 

[HoofHearted]

What a wild fucking thread lol

You're just a dude that exists in your own mind. There is literally no difference between you and the guys on the newbie forum asking how to approach a girl for the first time.

To you it feels like there is. Your mind tells you you're one thing. But your mind is wrong.

Maybe you digested a ton of material and put effort into a mental model. But you have no idea if that mental model is correct or not because it has never seen reality.

Being able to endlessly talk about basketball isn't the same as playing basketball.

Go touch some balls.