FR Thought this was in the bag. A case of Mother Hen?

[RDawg]

Hey fellas, a little dissapointed and slightly puzzled as to what happened with this one. So I decided i'm going to write up about it.

I went out to a local bar Friday night and showed up relatively late, probably just after 12:30AM. Mingled around with some Americans that were their, but I didn't find a promising prospect until about 1:45ish. (It was close to the end of the night).

So, I'm standing at the bar, and I see this cute girl smile at me.

I smile back and then wave her over...

She complies and comes over right away. And then the conversation begins.. (first big sign of interest)

Me: Hey, how's the night going? I'm Rdawg
Her: Hey, pretty good! I'm Sarah. We met before, I remember you from a while ago.
Me: We met before? Really?
Her: Ya, it was at club 21
Me: Really? When was this?
Her: About 7 months ago.
Me: Oh wow, ya I don't remember. That was a while ago. I haven't been to club 21 in a while.
Her: Ya you came up to me on the dance floor but I had a boyfriend at the time.
Me: Oh, ya, I faintly remember that night now.
Her: Haha ya, but I don't have a boyfriend anymore now. (Second big sign that she gave me)
Me: haha oh alright

So, the conversation continued on for about 2 minutes, a little bit of deep diving about school and work and then she dropped this.....

Her: What are you doing later? (Third big sign of thirst)
Me: I don't know yet, i'm just here with my buddy. What about you?
Her: oh haha, ya I don't know either. I'm with two of my friends. One of them just recently broke up with her boyfriend.
Her: Where do you live? (Fourth big sign of thirst)
Me: I live on ***** Road. Were having an after party. Come back with us.
Her: Haha Alright. Is it cool if my friends come?
Me: Oh, ya, tell them to come!
Her: Okay give your number right now.
Me: Okay (I put my # in her phone and she puts her's in mine)
Her: 1 second

She, goes and tells her friends and then comes back.

Her: Ya, it doesn't sound like they want to come.
Me: why is that?
Her: (Forget what she said)......... do you wanna go sit down? Your so tall and I can't really hear you that well.
Me: haha ya, okay.

I make some joke about her liking tall guys and then I sit down at near table, while she is standing and talking to me. I'm literally taller then this girl when i'm sitting and she is standing. Funny lol

Her: Well, since my friends don't wanna come. Do you wanna come over to my friends house instead and party?
Me: Ya, sure.
Her: Okay! Is that going to be okay with your friend?
Me: Haha, ya, he's cool with it. He's got a girl anyways right now. Look at him haha
Her: Haha, ya I notice.
Me: Alright, do you wanna get outta here?
Her: Ya, come with me and just let me go talk to my friend.

Goes to talk to friend and here is WHERE THINGS START TO GO TO FUCKIN SHIT.

Sarah: Hey, do you guys wanna go? Were going to get outta here
Friend: Sarah is coming home with us tonight, she isn't going anywhere (Says this to me)
Me: (puzzled look) huh?
Friend: Sarah has got to work at 8 in the morning, she needs to sleep.
Sarah: Ahh, I work at 11 tomorrow actually.
Friend: Well, she still needs to get sleep tonight.
Me: ahh Okay....

Friend walks away now to go see other friend..

Me: Okay, let's go.
Her: ya, let's go.

So, we walk out of the bar together and this is where I was most puzzled... We stand outside for not even a second... and then her friend comes out of NO WHERE FROM BEHIND AND SLIGHTLY PULLS SARAHS ELBOW.

And then Sarah and her two friends start walking away.

I'm just standing there and I see Sarah look at back at me twice and smile.

I'm just like WTF just happened? Did I just get mother henned? Why didn't Sarah say anything when her friend pulled her away? Why didn't Sarah just stay with me? Why did she leave with her friends?

So.. I was puzzled and confused and was really trying to analyze this situation. Couldn't really come up with anything... but literally a minute later she texted me and we got into a bit of a text convo.

Sarah: Send me ur address. 1:58PM
Me: 1234 ******* road. 1:59PM

So, i'm standing outside the bar, trying to figure out what just happened and my buddy came outside. I tell him the situation and tell him there is a 50/50 chance I may have this girl for tonight. So, i text her again about 15 mins later to see what happened.

Me: where did you go lol? 2:14Pm
Her: I'm coming don't worry lol 2:14PM
Me: lol okay sounds good! 2:15PM
Her 2:15PM

So, like 5 minutes go by and I just decide to call to her too figure this whole thing out and see what's going on.

Phone Call:

Me: Hey, what's going on?
Her: Hey, I'm just back at my friends. She lives 2 blocks away and i'm just waiting for them to finish eating.
Me: Alright.
Her: Where are you at?
Me: I'm outside the bar still
Her: Alright, i'll come meet you when there done.
Me: Okay, ill see ya soon then
Her: okay, see ya

So, I say to my buddy, let's just street wheel and see what else there is. Not sure what the fuck is going on with this broad now. We walk down the street and kid you not, 2 african american girls, grab my cock. Like literally just reach and grab it. I start flirting with them for a bit but they just look really drunk and whatever. So about 15 minutes go by and I'm ready to head home and then I get 4 texts from Sarah.

Her: Omg, I can't believe my friends pulled me away like that
Her: Like, i'm not even drunk
Her: Jez
Her: jeez*
Me: Haha ya, are you coming?
Her: Where are you at?
Me: I'm outside *****, just on the street. Either come meet here or meet me at my house.
Her: Okay, ill meet you at your house. 2:44Am
Me: Okay
Her: Just let me know when your home. 2:50Am
Me: kk Leave now, we just left 2:51Am
Her: Kk
Me: We just got home 3:01Am

So, we get home and no response... I call her like 10 minutes later. No response. Text her.

Me: Where are u at? 3:14Am

No response. Call one more time. No response.

So, I just went to bed and deleted her number in my phone. I knew that I wasn't ever going to see her again after that night.

Anyways, I was puzzled at this whole thing once, we got outside the bar. I felt like had this in the bag, only for it to go soooo wrong. It's the worse feeling when you think things are so close.... only for them to fall apart. Oh well.

 

[ray_zorse]

I think it might be that you were too compliant, agreeing to be moved (you could have said I'm fine here) and agreeing to hang with her friends (could have invested a lot of time only to be mother henned later, and she knew this, so it put her & co in control)... this set a poor tone and might have contributed to her not saying anything when pulled away... then continuing to try to adapt to her situation as it changed minute to minute, you should have used some push (seem disinterested or just say look, either you're keen to hang out or you're not, so make a decision cos I'm about to do xxx).
Ray

 

[Mr.Rob]

Yeah sounds like the friends were in their bitch modes.

I can't stand that shit either dude it's so ridiculous that some girl that is well beyond capable of making her own decisions, isn't drunk, wants to fuck you, and the stupid friends come in and just take her the fuck away because of their emotional state or just because they don't like you for whatever crazy reason (their ex boyfriend that cheated on them looks like you and she judges you as a lamo).

Haha I'm a bit bitter about that sometimes. But at the same time sometimes the friends just decide your the shit and push her hard to get with you so it's kind of a box of chocolates, at least in my experience.

Nightgames crazy like that dude. So many variables at play out of your control sometimes it's just how the cards play out.

Keep it pimpin dude

-Rob

 

[tvktvk]

RDawg,

So, I'm standing at the bar, and I see this cute girl smile at me.

I smile back and then wave her over...

She complies and comes over right away.

Dude you're the poster boy of spezzatura. My suspicions of you being one goodlooking motherfucker is growing by every single report, hahah. I do however believe that Ray is on to something. Spezzatura is a double-edged sword and I think you went a bit too laidback. She's pushing the interaction forward the whole time and that's fine, but when an obstacle (like a cockblocking friend) occurs YOU have to take control of the situation and deal with it. You kinda ignored the issue and it bit you in the ass when you tried to leave with Sarah.

I'm just like WTF just happened? Did I just get mother henned? Why didn't Sarah say anything when her friend pulled her away? Why didn't Sarah just stay with me? Why did she leave with her friends?

Girls can rarely take these choices confidently by themself and will aalways be tied down by social pressure (unless she's one of the 1% of women who don't give a fuck about social repercussions). You have to nudge her in the right direction. At some point you needed to take control of the situation, but you never did. Her friends were able grab her and walk away because you let them. After that you had already lost her, those types of friends would've slutshamed her hard if she had later decided to ditch them to meet up with you. That's how I see it man.

Based on the cockblock article and Rob's killer tactic for dealing with friends when pulling, here's a suggestion on how you could have dealt with the situation:

Sarah: Hey, do you guys wanna go? Were going to get outta here
Friend: Sarah is coming home with us tonight, she isn't going anywhere (Says this to me)
Me: (puzzled look) huh?
Friend: Sarah has got to work at 8 in the morning, she needs to sleep.
Sarah: Ahh, I work at 11 tomorrow actually.
Friend: Well, she still needs to get sleep tonight.
Me: Look, me and Sarah are going to grab a nightcap and just chill. I promise I'm a nice guy and will return her safely to wherever she needs to be in good time.

If the cockblock still won't approve, you ignore the bitch and adress your girl only. Tell her she has to make a choice now because you can't be waiting around for her. I think you have a better shot of taking a girl home if you confront the obstacle directly next time. Hope this was to any help bro, keep killin it.

tvktvk

 

[mindful]

You put too much decision making in her hands. You had this girl within 5 minutes. You should of pulled her then and told her to just text her friends and say you are leaving or something. Nothing else to add. You knew she wanted you and the signs were all there, which you realized.

Keep pimpin.

 

[RDawg]

- Ray, Rob, tvktvk, Mindful, Radeng

Thanks for all the replies boys, much appreciated!

Reading this report again and again, and reading through all your comments, I should not be writing a "FR" up, this should be a "LR". Personally, I think some bad luck, bitchy/jealous friend, and some lack of clairty of this siutation on my part (which I fault myself for being a little too drunk in this situation). If it were not for the bitchy/jealous friends as "Mr. Rob" mentioned and these girls were cool (Looking back it now, the one girl didn't have guy and I think she just got jealous which I believe lead to the bullshit that happened), I would be writing a LR up instead. Shit happens so fast in "nightgame" that I think there are some things that are just uncontrollable and I think this goes along with bad luck with the friends.

Now, with all that being said, "mindful", I agree with you 100% on this

You put too much decision making in her hands. You had this girl within 5 minutes. You should of pulled her then and told her to just text her friends and say you are leaving or something. Nothing else to add. You knew she wanted you and the signs were all there, which you realized.

. I definitely could of pulled this girl earlier and probably should of but to be honest in the moment, nothing seemed like an issue and nothing really was until the friend cockblocked. It was just a matter of figuring out logistics and then she invited me back, which I agreed to. However, after telling her one friend, she wasn't having any of it, which is out of my control but at the same time, I should of taken control and somehow figured something else out.

tvktvk

Dude you're the poster boy of spezzatura. My suspicions of you being one goodlooking motherfucker is growing by every single report, hahah.

I Agree man, I follow Sprezzatura to the max, as well as focusing on myself as "The Prize". I don't deny that i'm good looking at all, but that's all part of having good fundamentals, which is part of the foundation where everything starts. At the same time, I'm no supermodel though lol.

I do however believe that Ray is on to something. Spezzatura is a double-edged sword and I think you went a bit too laidback. She's pushing the interaction forward the whole time and that's fine, but when an obstacle (like a cockblocking friend) occurs YOU have to take control of the situation and deal with it. You kinda ignored the issue and it bit you in the ass when you tried to leave with Sarah.

Sure, but at the same time, Sarah was handling the cockblock herself by saying to her friend I work at "11" instead of "8". Now, ya I believe I made a small mistake of not addressing the friend in some form of manner. All i'm trying to say is that Sarah, handled the cockblock herself, and we walked out together and then the friend came out of no where, grabbed her instantly, which was unexpected and unfortunate and just to fucking quick. Also, me being drunk lead to this lack of clarity of the situation and potentially screwed things up.

Girls can rarely take these choices confidently by themself and will aalways be tied down by social pressure (unless she's one of the 1% of women who don't give a fuck about social repercussions). You have to nudge her in the right direction. At some point you needed to take control of the situation, but you never did. Her friends were able grab her and walk away because you let them. After that you had already lost her, those types of friends would've slutshamed her hard if she had later decided to ditch them to meet up with you. That's how I see it man.

Me: Look, me and Sarah are going to grab a nightcap and just chill. I promise I'm a nice guy and will return her safely to wherever she needs to be in good time.

100% agree with you here and this actually helps me make more sense of the situation and her behavior. Fucking stupid cockblocks lol. Thanks for the reply brother! Hope you've been slaying like an animal!

Ray

I think it might be that you were too compliant, agreeing to be moved (you could have said I'm fine here) and agreeing to hang with her friends (could have invested a lot of time only to be mother henned later, and she knew this, so it put her & co in control)... this set a poor tone and might have contributed to her not saying anything when pulled away... then continuing to try to adapt to her situation as it changed minute to minute, you should have used some push (seem disinterested or just say look, either you're keen to hang out or you're not, so make a decision cos I'm about to do xxx).

Ya potentially man, but I just felt like everything was fine up until the friend. Probably just should of handled the cockblock situation a better and then pulled her home. Things happen so fast sometimes, it's crazy. Oh well, fuck it, i'm gonna rip it up this week, with some new pussy. Thanks for the reply brother! Always good to hear from ya!


Radeng

Thanks for the very insightful and long reply brother! Lots of detail lol. I practically agree with everything you said man. However, i'm not really one to just grab a girl's number out at a bar/club. I'm always going for the kill. Most girls that I meet at bars/clubs or parties, I'm just looking to fuck and nothing more. Yes, 100% this

girl was interested in a sexual only interaction.

. To be honest, it was fucking weird man, it happened so fucking quick. "Me and Sarah go outside, friends grab Sarah seriously in less than a second and I turn my head and their already 10 feet away". I looked at the situation as if "she wants it, she will come back and get it and she will ditch her friends if she really wanted to fuck me". I could of ran for the hard push, but was confused in the moment as to what just happened.

Id rather not look like a slut to my friends, and there was no connection so who cares if I ever see him again, maybe ill text him and see what he does and how needy he is for sex, if hes really needy, Ill know hes not the sex guy I was after anyway."

Ya, I think you make an interesting point here, especially along with what tvktvk said about the girl not wanting to look like I slut. Fore sure, I got needy with my texting, but fuck it, I didn't need to waste time with her lol. However, my question would be at the end of the day, if she really wanted it, wouldn't she of just said fuck what my friends say and stayed with me? I mean fuck sakes she didn't need to just walk away with her friends and not say anything. Mind ya she texted me. Oh well, fuck it I guess lol.

It will just be up to the girl. If you lose, well thats ok because you would have probably had the same outcome if you did not do this AND you made a ballsy move to attempt to save the night, be proud. If you get her, than fuck yeah you just did a dominant ballsy ass move and your about to get laid by a girl who at this point just blew off her friends and is absolutely soaking wet for you.

Ya, this true and I could of done it but something just seemed off in the moment when she walked away with her friends. But ya, thanks for taking the time for detailed reply, very much appreciated!

Mr. Rob

I think your line here says it best....

Nightgames crazy like that dude. So many variables at play out of your control sometimes it's just how the cards play out.

I've been doing night game for just over a year now and have racked up about 18 killz from night game in that year. There is so much shit that happens and the shit that does happen occurs so quickly. I think it's just best to fucking hit it hard this week and fuck some new pussy man. Anyways, how's the youtube stuff coming along man? Haven't talked to you in a while about that. Anyways, thanks for the comment buddy, much appreciated!

Rdawg

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Rdawg,


Problem #1: you didn't try and befriend the Mother Hen. For most cases, you don't need to win over friends, because they make snap judgments about you and either you're in or you're out, but with this girl, who obviously liked you A LOT, you should have put in more effort. There's two solutions to this -

1. Go out of your way to be really nice to Mother Hen. She's probably a mix of jealous and protective. You definitely vibed as too much of a player for her liking, so she protected her friend. To balance this, you gotta be uber-nice guy to Mother Hen. The fear to you is, of course, "I don't want to be a bitch." But you've already proven yourself to be a stud, so lowering your value a bit is not only efficient, but it doesn't threaten your image at all. You can go so far as to get meta with it all and lay it out to the friend

"Hey, so I don't know what I did wrong, but you obviously don't like me. I won't presume to know your reasons for disliking me, because I don't judge people for their beliefs, but if you are worried about your friend, allow me to illustrate how much I like her..."

And then you should bring up some really cool conversational threads with your girl that show not only that you listen but care about her friend. I've gotten hookups many times this way and it's a charming tool that I've forgotten on more occasions than I'd like to admit, because it's some of the most genuinely powerful shit I've ever seen. The flaw of this approach is how much of a connection you established with your girl - if she's thirsty for you before you two have even established a legit connection, then you need to play the adventurous card

Use the opening line I just detailed, but instead of bringing up conversational threads, talk about how fast you clicked with your girl. Make it a point that despite not knowing ANYTHING about each other, that you are vibing like you've known each other for years. Make Mother Hen feel like she'll be depriving her friend of an adventure of a lifetime if she takes you away from her. I've lost many lays by failing to do this, all in the service of being the "macho and aloof badass." But with both scenarios, you need to show how much you care about the girl.


2. The OTHER method, is to say FUCK the friends and just pull your girl. This can be done by convincing the girl with some really slick "hey, this is your last shot; take it or leave it" kind of hard-closes, or just pulling your girl away when the friends aren't looking, because they WILL cockblock you even harder now that you're stealing the girl away like some devious villain. This is the FUNNEST approach, but also the riskiest. You gotta think quick on your feet.


If you pull of either solution, you'll be swimming in the Amazon river when you stick your cock into her, because 99.9% of guys drop the ball right here. And unfortunately, you were part of that statistic this night, because you acquiesced to her demands. She still wanted the dick, obviously by how much she chased you over text, but that brings us to your second problem.

Problem #2: You were as thirsty as an African kid in a charity commercial.

Case in point, all of this

So, i'm standing outside the bar, trying to figure out what just happened and my buddy came outside. I tell him the situation and tell him there is a 50/50 chance I may have this girl for tonight. So, i text her again about 15 mins later to see what happened.

Me: where did you go lol? 2:14Pm
Her: I'm coming don't worry lol 2:14PM
Me: lol okay sounds good! 2:15PM
Her 2:15PM


So, like 5 minutes go by and I just decide to call to her too figure this whole thing out and see what's going on.

Phone Call:

Me: Hey, what's going on?
Her: Hey, I'm just back at my friends. She lives 2 blocks away and i'm just waiting for them to finish eating.
Me: Alright.
Her: Where are you at?
Me: I'm outside the bar still
Her: Alright, i'll come meet you when there done.
Me: Okay, ill see ya soon then
Her: okay, see ya


So, I say to my buddy, let's just street wheel and see what else there is. Not sure what the fuck is going on with this broad now. We walk down the street and kid you not, 2 african american girls, grab my cock. Like literally just reach and grab it. I start flirting with them for a bit but they just look really drunk and whatever. So about 15 minutes go by and I'm ready to head home and then I get 4 texts from Sarah.

Her: Omg, I can't believe my friends pulled me away like that
Her: Like, i'm not even drunk
Her: Jez
Her: jeez*
Me: Haha ya, are you coming?
Her: Where are you at?
Me: I'm outside *****, just on the street. Either come meet here or meet me at my house.
Her: Okay, ill meet you at your house. 2:44Am
Me: Okay
Her: Just let me know when your home. 2:50Am
Me: kk Leave now, we just left 2:51Am
Her: Kk
Me: We just got home 3:01Am


So, we get home and no response... I call her like 10 minutes later. No response. Text her.

Me: Where are u at? 3:14Am

You were correct in pursuing her hard, but you

1. Did it at the wrong time. Should have put in this effort when she was still with you

2. Did it too much. You may have still gotten the lay after texting logistics, but you got too thirsty and she sensed the desperation.

So by not fighting for her or winning her friends, she felt like you didn't care about her and lost attainability. And then you chased over text, which dropped your value.

One. Two. Knockout.

These lessons are some of the most disappointing, but also the most educational. But you should know by now that pain is your best friend, so listen intently and you won't make these mistakes anymore.

You're doing amazing, Rdawg. Keep pushing.

- Hector

p.s. remember that Spezzatura is about the LEAST amount of effort necessary, not LOW effort. It's a relative measure, not an absolute. You're too concerned with being aloof. And I still deal with this, so trust me, it's hard to calibrate, but at the points I highlighted, throw Spezzatura out the fucking window and just get your girl, man. I'd rather be the guy who chased maybe a bit too hard but got laid than the guy who tried to act cool and went home alone to go jerk off.

 

[RDawg]

p.s. remember that Spezzatura is about the LEAST amount of effort necessary, not LOW effort. It's a relative measure, not an absolute. You're too concerned with being aloof. And I still deal with this, so trust me, it's hard to calibrate, but at the points I highlighted, throw Spezzatura out the fucking window and just get your girl, man. I'd rather be the guy who chased maybe a bit too hard but got laid than the guy who tried to act cool and went home alone to go jerk off.

Fuck you just pointed out something that I seem to be doing my whole life and now you made me realize I'm doing it in pickup. I don't know what it is but when I set my self out to do something, whether that's do good in school or picking up women, I'm 100% determined to do well and I eventually do end up doing very well. However, I sometimes hit these "BUMPS" you can say, where I may get a D+ on an exam even though i'm an A student, or i'll pick up hot girls consistently and then I fuck up a rather "easy" situation like this one above. Not sure what it is but I think it's me just getting "over my head" at times , once I start experiencing a lot of success and this leads to me falling out of my process to what gave me success. I know, I can see myself being over my head in the report now and I felt like everything was going to be fine and I felt I didn't need to do much or if anything to get the kill. Usually, I feel like these situations, like in this report above are a "wake the fuck up Rdawg" and get back to what you do best.

2. The OTHER method, is to say FUCK the friends and just pull your girl. This can be done by convincing the girl with some really slick "hey, this is your last shot; take it or leave it" kind of hard-closes, or just pulling your girl away when the friends aren't looking, because they WILL cockblock you even harder now that you're stealing the girl away like some devious villain. This is the FUNNEST approach, but also the riskiest. You gotta think quick on your feet.

This crossed my mind and I was gonna go this path but it was too late...

"Hey, so I don't know what I did wrong, but you obviously don't like me. I won't presume to know your reasons for disliking me, because I don't judge people for their beliefs, but if you are worried about your friend, allow me to illustrate how much I like her..."

Alright sweet, i'll try this out next time if I ever get into a similar situation. I honestly, haven't had to deal with cockblocks much but I think it's something for me to be more aware of and practice "visualizing" those situations and learning to handle them better for next time.

You were as thirsty as an African kid in a charity commercial.

LMFAO! This cracked me up hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh fuck, I know, I was thirsty as hell lmaoo. Fuck oh well. At least I got a good laugh out of this report lmao

1. Did it at the wrong time. Should have put in this effort when she was still with you

2. Did it too much. You may have still gotten the lay after texting logistics, but you got too thirsty and she sensed the desperation.

Yup your 100% right.

I'm just gonna keep this report in the back of mind for next time and FUCKING RIP IT UP. Enough of the bull shit.

Thanks for the comment and feedback buddy! Much appreciated.

Rdawg