Three strikes and I'm almost out

[qgb524]

I'm 19, never had a girlfriend and still a virgin. I have struck out with every single girl I have ever talked to. Within the last two weeks, I have had three girls either tell me they "just got out of a relationship and want to be friends" or said "I'd think about it". I'm moving back to school in a few of days and figure I'd try to start over. Does anyone have any advice on what to do differently? I'm at the point where I feel like quitting.

Things I did with the last three girls-
1- Try to be a friend/ compliment them a lot
2- Tried to spend time with them (was given lame ass excuses why they couldn't)
3- Told them how I felt about them (received a vague thanks from them)
4- Freak out and cut off most communication with them or take a while to respond

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey dude, don't despair. What's happened is you haven't understood how female attraction works, and you've done things with these girls that logically seem like they would build attraction, and instead they've landed you in her orbiter / friendzone.

That's because female attraction is difficult to understand, you can't relate to them like a guy. If you acted friendly and complimented a guy (item 1), told him you'd like to hang out with him (item 2), and that he is important to you (item 3), then if you were being honest and congruent he'd likely say sure, cool, let's hang out... but when it comes to women they're trying to assess whether you're quality mate material and those things (items 1, 2, 3) basically make you look weak and beta in their eyes (item 1 is okay if you do not overdo it).

There are much better ways to build attraction, which basically centre around managing first impressions (e.g. having good nonverbal communication and being confident, dominant and powerful rather than weak, submissive and needy)... capitalizing on those good first impressions by moving fast and having sex before the attraction begins to die... and relating to her on an emotional level while ignoring a lot of the content of what she says... in essence you give her what she needs rather than what she wants.

All of this is covered in step-by-step format in Chase's ebook "How to make girls chase". If you can't afford the book, read the articles on https://www.girlschase.com which contain much the same information. In the words of radeng, another board member who often gives helpful advice, "read articles until your eyes bleed"... once you've done this you'll understand exactly where you went wrong with those girls. Then pick some new girls and try again, you'll probably make exactly the same mistakes, but try again, and again and eventually you move past those sticking points.

If these girls were in your social circle then that's also part of the problem, because maybe they just weren't into you for no good reason, or possibly you knew them for a while before making a move (never a good idea), or possibly it's to do with reputation and social standing, who knows. But you need a big pool of women to dip into to find the ones who are attracted to you. All that is covered in the book as well.

Ray

 

[Skid]

Hey man ,

I know how you feel. Lots of people on this forum probably do. If this is literally the first three girls you've tried for don't despair : just like anything else dating is a skill and you get better with practice.First thing you've gotta do like the other guys said is go through the content on the site , read and read until you feel like you've got a good theoretical understanding of what you need to do too.

I want to disagree with Ray and say that female attraction isn't as obscure and strange as it sometimes may seem - the primary difference is that females are attracted to masculinity , males are attracted to femininity (in most cases). Think about the girls that you've been attracted too because they are feminine : their hips sway when they walk , they act girly - its sexy. Opposites attract as they say. They are both projected through body language how you speak and interact etc.

if you want them to be attracted to you then you have to present masculinity (no shit right?) and that's what a lot of this site covers. It shows you how to project a masculine presence through your "fundamentals" which is body language eye contact etc. And then how to be masculine in conversation , leading being a powerful man etc. I vaguely remember that chase advises you get your fundamentals sorted before you start approaching girls - but I think you can only hone your fundamentals so far by yourself until you need to test yourself by looking girls you find really attractive in the eyes , and not faltering.

You sound like a nice guy , so you might want to start with the articles that cover bad boys and nice guys. Basically they will teach you to be a bit more of an asshole , so you convey the aspects of masculinity that bad boys have which nice guys don't.

So when you feel your ready , you've gotta start approaching. I'd recommend doing both day game and night game. One thing you should keep in mind is don't follow all the advice on this site or any other site blindly , test it out see if it works for you or it holds true (and when I say test I mean test it hundreds of times at least before you dismiss it) starting out you may want to find a buddy who is better with girls than you and learn from him or you can go it solo depends on you. But its good to mix it up and try new things. Again don't despair if it feels like it takes a really long time to feel like you're getting anywhere all of us who didn't start as naturals have been there. Whenever I've felt really shit and felt like giving up and throwing in the towel there has always been an article on girlschase to help me pick myself up correct negative mindsets. The three things that will keep you going is policing your mind for poison-ness mindsets and thoughts and stamping them out (I really feel that its great when you find the article about bitterness when you are feeling shit and bitter during your journey), creating a habit of approaching and trying to create a habit of checking in with the community if you don't have someone on the ride with you.

Last thing I was to touch on is what ray said about the pool of women you want to dip into. Every man has a pool of women that will be interested in you. And in my experience it has very little to do with her level of attractiveness , sometimes you'll talk to a girl you think is stunning and she's keen too talk to you , However I've opened girls who I didn't think were attractive at all and they blew me out lols. And of course other times the beautiful girl will blow you off. The hardest part about game is learning to be calibrated (which comes with experience) being about to tell when a girl is interested (not being polite) in you through testing her (for compliance , screen her , test logistics) and then moving forward appropriately - without too much uncertainty.

Whenever you're not sure on why someone reacted to you the way they did. Ask yourself , what would cause me to react in the way that person did? Quite often its closer to the truth than you think.

Peace ,

Skid

 

[HellAtlantic]

Wow the advice in this thread alone is awesome.