Timings & Follow up message if she doesn't text back

[diegoC]

I was wondering when you should reply a girl when she doesn't text back and what kind of message it should be.

I had read this post and I would like to quote Chase's rule of thumb:

Finally, don't be afraid to give a girl a little time off if she doesn't reply for a while. My rule of thumb is something like this:

She doesn't reply once: give her a day of radio silence.
She doesn't reply twice in a row: give her 2 - 3 days of radio silence.
She doesn't reply three times in a row: give her a week of radio silence.

Imagine you text a girl through whatsapp something like this:

"Hey Jess, I hope you had a great time on the weekend. It's time for your feet to chill Mine are killing me! I've walked too much. Let's get together for that coffee I told you. How is your schedule looking this week?"

Do you all like the timings Chase likes? I'm not sure myself about those. I think one day of radio silence kinda feels short. Then, if she doesn't, 2-3 days seem way more short (it feels kinda needy to see her).

The other things is, what would be a good way to follow up those kind of messages? Should it be similar one asking for her schedule? An ice-breaker ("Hey, going crazy this week so far. It's fucking hot today! How are you doing?") and then, soon, a message asking for her schedule?

Cheers!

PS: I think Chase timings seem fine if you just text someone something like "Hey Jess, I've been like crazy this week so far. How are you doing?". But, when you are asking for her schedule to see her, I'm not really sure.

 

[Franco]

Hey diego,

Keep in mind that Chase's text examples are just a template. The message he tries to convey with these template messages is that you need to always be pushing for an objective, and that objective should almost always be to get her out. As a side note, the only occasions where I try to build rapport are when I've met a girl online (through a dating website) or I got a quick number-close with a girl that only lasted a few minutes.

As far as the actual content, I prefer to cut down on the size of my text messages. Lengthy text messages definitely seem very try-hard, and through plenty of testing, I've had much better results with smaller texts. Think of it this way: it is much better to send two short texts with the same message in mind than it is to lump them up into one big text. The reason for this is that one "big" text talking about several things at the same time just makes it seem like you are trying to cover up the true intention of the text, and I'm beginning to strongly believe at this point that girls pick up on that.

Let's take the text you put here...

"Hey Jess, I hope you had a great time on the weekend. It's time for your feet to chill Mine are killing me! I've walked too much. Let's get together for that coffee I told you. How is your schedule looking this week?"

...and now I'll break it up into how I would say the same things in a couple messages:

• Me: "Hey Jess, how was your weekend? "
  Her: "It was great! How was yours?
  (I almost always take at least an hour, or possibly several, to respond to her first opener text in a conversation so that it doesn't seem like I'm waiting around for it)
  Me: "It was awesome! My feet are killin' me though... too much walking, haha. Let's grab that coffee! What's your schedule like this week?"
  Her: "Haha, I know what you mean! And I'm free on Weds and Thurs this week "

Just breaking up that text into two separate ones is a lot more likely to get a fluid response than lumping it all into one. It's too much information, and it seems like you are using the first part of the message to mask the second part.

As far as the actual timetables for texting when they don't respond, Chase has pretty solid rules for that. As you acquire more abundance, you'll find that you don't even think about these times as much and you'll get a feel for when you can probably text a girl and get a response. Sometimes that can be one day, sometimes it can be one or two weeks. Play around with it and find what works best for you. =)

- Franco

 

[diegoC]

As a side note, the only occasions where I try to build rapport are when I've met a girl online (through a dating website) or I got a quick number-close with a girl that only lasted a few minutes.

This makes sense. I know you shouldn't use text messages to build rapport but these two situations are very good exceptions. I'll keep that in mind.

As far as the actual content, I prefer to cut down on the size of my text messages. Lengthy text messages definitely seem very try-hard, and through plenty of testing, I've had much better results with smaller texts.

Totally agree. I just paste and example of a message style I saw in a post of how to text girls. It had the same style I just wrote.
I'm not one that likes to follow everything like a horse with eye-patches, so that's why I'm sometimes wondering things.

This was definitely one of them. And I completely agree it's way better to break it. It also makes sense with the Law of Least effort. You write a short message rather than a very long one.

… and you'll get a feel for when you can probably text a girl and get a response. Sometimes that can be one day, sometimes it can be one or two weeks. Play around with it and find what works best for you. =)

I think so. You just have to sense it. I even think it even has to do with the girl/interaction/other variables. Maybe you could just wait a day with a hot one you got along great great when you met her. Other interaction may have not been so good, so you wait longer. It depends. I think the same as you.


Cheers Franco!