- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
Hi guys. 
Lots of questions today. Feel free to reply to whatever parts you'd like.
So today, I ended up going on a Tinder date with a girl from my college. 10 mins before I arrived to lunch I texted her telling her I would be late. her response was "It's Okay! I'm just heading down there. With some friends!"
When I arrived, I ended up at a table with 4 other guys and her. The text from 10 mins ago was the only warning I had. Up till then, I had the impression that it would be just me and her. I decided to play it cool and just roll with it. I introduced myself to her friends, directed most my attention at her, but swapped a few comments with them too. Eventually, they left and it was just me and her.
I feel like I played this one correctly. But I just want to hear what you guys think. Was this the right thing to do? Or should I have just canceled the date as soon as I found out she brought friends w.o prior warning?
Later on in that same date, she told me that she uses Tinder just to find friends, and that she's not really looking for anything more cause "she's not a romantic". I feel like this is true because her bio was "Looking for adventure, not love". Having said that, whether she knows it or not, she still is looking for sex just by virtue of being human. But it seems to me that this is basically her saying that she's completely closed off to a relationship. I wasn't really sure how to reply to this. Furthermore, being that this is the case in addition to the fact that she gave me no signs of interest the whole time and I feel like I failed to frame myself as a sexual man, would it even be worth seeing her again, or am I just wasting my time?
A few more unrelated questions:
1. What kind of topics do you guys deep dive? I find myself running out of things to talk about after exploring why she's in school/what she's trying to accomplish with her degree/life. And if I do want to deep dive a more sensitive topic such as past relationships, how would I go about bringing that up?
2. When I try to tease a girl, 80% of the time, she replies with an uncomfortable laugh and/or a matter-of-factly toned answer. It seems like she's interpreting what I'm saying completely seriously. Being that some of these comments would be pretty ridiculous and frankly rude accusations if they're interpreted as being serious, I feel like I'm often coming off as kind of an ass. Obviously, my non-verbals must be off. But I can't really tell in what way. Anyone been in this situation before?
3. I have a date tomorrow with a 29 yr old women. I'm 21, and up till now, I've only been seeing girls who are age 20 or younger. Is anything different with dating (relatively) older women? Overall, should I expect a different experience?
4. I've noticed that when I go on a "date" I seem to give off this weird/creep vibe. Like, not too much, but it still might be noticeable. When I talk to girls at say a party, or social circle, I don't seem to have this problem. Thoughts?
5. Throughout the whole date, I was deep diving her. Like, she asked me 0 questions about myself. This is relevant for two reasons.
A. It could be an indicator that she's not at all interested in me. Is this True or False?
B. I can't tell if she feels any emotional connection for me at all. Cause she was just talking about herself the whole time. I didn't say anything (i.e. I didn't invest in her). Is this feeling of non-conectedness normal? Does it mean I'm deep-diving correctly? Or the opposite?
Lots of questions today. Feel free to reply to whatever parts you'd like.So today, I ended up going on a Tinder date with a girl from my college. 10 mins before I arrived to lunch I texted her telling her I would be late. her response was "It's Okay! I'm just heading down there. With some friends!"
When I arrived, I ended up at a table with 4 other guys and her. The text from 10 mins ago was the only warning I had. Up till then, I had the impression that it would be just me and her. I decided to play it cool and just roll with it. I introduced myself to her friends, directed most my attention at her, but swapped a few comments with them too. Eventually, they left and it was just me and her.
I feel like I played this one correctly. But I just want to hear what you guys think. Was this the right thing to do? Or should I have just canceled the date as soon as I found out she brought friends w.o prior warning?
Later on in that same date, she told me that she uses Tinder just to find friends, and that she's not really looking for anything more cause "she's not a romantic". I feel like this is true because her bio was "Looking for adventure, not love". Having said that, whether she knows it or not, she still is looking for sex just by virtue of being human. But it seems to me that this is basically her saying that she's completely closed off to a relationship. I wasn't really sure how to reply to this. Furthermore, being that this is the case in addition to the fact that she gave me no signs of interest the whole time and I feel like I failed to frame myself as a sexual man, would it even be worth seeing her again, or am I just wasting my time?
A few more unrelated questions:
1. What kind of topics do you guys deep dive? I find myself running out of things to talk about after exploring why she's in school/what she's trying to accomplish with her degree/life. And if I do want to deep dive a more sensitive topic such as past relationships, how would I go about bringing that up?
2. When I try to tease a girl, 80% of the time, she replies with an uncomfortable laugh and/or a matter-of-factly toned answer. It seems like she's interpreting what I'm saying completely seriously. Being that some of these comments would be pretty ridiculous and frankly rude accusations if they're interpreted as being serious, I feel like I'm often coming off as kind of an ass. Obviously, my non-verbals must be off. But I can't really tell in what way. Anyone been in this situation before?
3. I have a date tomorrow with a 29 yr old women. I'm 21, and up till now, I've only been seeing girls who are age 20 or younger. Is anything different with dating (relatively) older women? Overall, should I expect a different experience?
4. I've noticed that when I go on a "date" I seem to give off this weird/creep vibe. Like, not too much, but it still might be noticeable. When I talk to girls at say a party, or social circle, I don't seem to have this problem. Thoughts?
5. Throughout the whole date, I was deep diving her. Like, she asked me 0 questions about myself. This is relevant for two reasons.
A. It could be an indicator that she's not at all interested in me. Is this True or False?
B. I can't tell if she feels any emotional connection for me at all. Cause she was just talking about herself the whole time. I didn't say anything (i.e. I didn't invest in her). Is this feeling of non-conectedness normal? Does it mean I'm deep-diving correctly? Or the opposite?
