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Online & Apps  Tinder date resulted in lay then rejected. How did I handle it.

Randy_91

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
43
Matched with a woman my own age on tinder, she was really keen and done all the texting and chasing. Being my age she was no spring chicken and has a better job than me and plenty of money. She is separated from her husband who is the director of a company and he basically traded her in for someone younger. We texted back and forth for a week then met up for a date. She had basically told me that if I played my cards right I would be going back to hers. On the date, she seemed quite nervous and also commented on me not being a great deal taller than her. I played it cool and things seemed to go ok. She insisted on paying the bar tab, then insisted on paying the taxi back to hers which wasn't cheap. We got back to her place and we had a few drinks then went to bed and had good sex. She seemed really happy to be with me and seemed to enjoy the sex. Afterwards, she was complimenting me on my looks etc. We had sex again in the morning and then she made me breakfast. I was going to get a taxi home and it would have cost a fortune as it was over 30 miles away. I didn't mind because I basically had a free night of sex. But she then decided to drive me home so I was like fair enough.

So I basically went out on a date with reasonably attractive upper-middle-class women got laid and never had to spend a penny.

She texted me the next day and still seemed interested. The day after that I initiated texting with her and then left it a couple of days and never heard anything back from her. So I sent a single text enquiring how she was and about setting up another date. And no surprise I got the: "I am sorry I haven't been in touch but the more I have thought about things over the week I'm not sure I really felt that spark, after all. I hope I have not offended you but I think we would just end up as friends. I wish you the best for the future and hope you find Mrs right yada yada " text. I just responded with "Well I didn't think it would be anything more than a casual thing....caio"

So what do you think was actually going on here? Is it a case then I have done something to blow it or she was only after a one night stand. I mean she was super keen before we met and did 100% of the chasing. Do you think I wasn't alpha enough or that it is obvious to her that she is in the more powerful position financially and it has, therefore, put her off as women always want to be with a guy more powerful than them?

How should I respond if she ever does reach out again?

This happened in the UK.
 
Last edited:

aliparpar

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 14, 2012
Messages
87
Mate well done on the lay. Don't take it personally or overthink.

Women are people too and sometimes get really horny and need someone to have a good night with. That's why both of your were on tinder. Maybe she wasn't ready to be your gf, maybe she just wanted sex that night, maybe she got her validation, or maybe you just weren't a good match compatibility wise.

If she doesn't want to see you again, it's her loss. I'd move on to the future girls who'd love to be with me after our first night. Stop worrying about those that don't want to have anything to do with you after. Focus instead on your mission, improving your game, fundamentals, your lifestyle, etc.

Over time, you'd have girls who'd love you to remain in their life after you've been intimate.
 

Randy_91

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 11, 2020
Messages
43
Yeah I agree with what you say and I don't really care either way. I am just trying analyse and learn from it. I get quite a lot of first dates but to many second dates. It either because my text game shows high value and but in person, I don't come across as so high value and / or the women have so many options they think I'm ok but they can do better type of thing.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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