- Joined
- Jul 5, 2013
- Messages
- 182
Hello everyone!
I am back in the big city (for the last two weeks now, after 2 years in a small town) and averaging about 7 numbers (5 of those responsive) and two dates a week. So far this has led to two "last 5%" mess ups and a lot of interesting conversation and experience with female resistance. I feel secure in my ability to find a few girls here to set up moderately committed yet partially open situations with -- it's just a matter of time really.
Today I want to go over a date I went on with a girl I met up with yesterday, who I met on Tinder. I started using Tinder when I came here, and after almost being tricked by a fat girl, I eventually get messaged by this girl Eve. She starts chasing from the get-go, and all I have to do is set a place and a time and a sexual frame. Simple.
We meet up at the metro station by her place (I'm staying in a not ideal place to seduce this first month, so I have to pull to their places or parks or things like this). I get there early so go find a ritzy hotel lobby with windows all around and leather chairs to lounge in nearby and wait for her to text me. We text our logistics back and forth and then we meet up in the lobby. I quickly pick-up on how she sees me in her eyes (a rich attractive aristocrat sojourning in her city who is in the running for being her prince charming), and know that today's game is going to be about attainability, because she is basically already ready to be pulled. Already sold -- but she's probably going to want to be in a relationship if she learns more about me, so even if that's what I want too, she might throw on the breaks sooner or later and mess it up.
I was banking on a meal first though, so we head off to a vegetarian restaurant a few blocks from her place. On the way there three unrelated guys stop and either compliment her (she's a sexy French-Filipina model, all dressed up) or stop and talk with her. I enjoy these stops, because I can just lean back, act friendly, put mild social pressure on them, and then afterwards she'd be apologizing to me for talking to "such people". Instant "us vs them". She's asking me too many questions about myself, so I flip them back onto her and start deep diving. We get to the restaurant and order food. She seems a bit put off that I don't buy her food, but I just slip it under the table with positive conversation so she stops thinking about it. We build a little sexual tension with a few long looks without saying anything. "I'm so in" is what I'm thinking now. After this she invites me back to her place to "pick up her cigarettes" (she says she doesn't do this often, and I believe her), and I say let's go.
We get to her place after some lighter banter. I take my shoes off and she gets me some water. She's doing all the work for me. She dims the lights, I sit on her couch (really nice place. She probably has never worked a day in her life -- that kind of rich), and she starts rolling a cigarette. I tell her to come sit by me; that she's a weirdo for sitting all the way over there, and she complies. I put my arm around her, chat for a few minutes, then go in for the kiss. After 30 seconds or so of making out though she stops us and asks if I'd like to watch a movie. I say, "Sure." of course, and she gets up and puts it on. She is acting cold now though. I pull her into me and tell her to kiss me but she now is just being super passive. It feels like she is trying to get me to chase now, which seems odd so late in the seduction. I persist then relax and persist some more. She is pressed into me and telling me I'm "so comfortable."
Watch some of the movie, and it turns out to be really good (Waking Life -- extremely philosophical), though it put both of us too much in a logical mindset. We end up discussing too much philosophy at this point, weakening both our passions. I'm getting tired (long day before this) and the last train back to my place is leaving in 15 minutes. I ask if I can stay over, and she is on the fence about it -- not wanting to appear too easy with some guy she just met on Tinder. She says that she wants to meet up again sometime next week. I make another attempt at escalating but she is now dispassionate, and her logical gears are humming. I try and reason with her about social expectations and how pointless these rules are (while still being respectful of them). The fish didn't bite and I dig myself into a hole talking about my views on sex and the ridiculous number of people in the world. Not really a way to get a girl feeling special... She's probably used to guys throwing themselves at her -- I doubt anyone's ever tried to reason her into the sack like that, haha! Anyway, it was a fool's gambit and I quickly realize this (and that I was trodding on her reasonable deniability), so I get up and prepare to go. She says that I don't have to go so fast. I say, "Yes I do, if I am to catch my train." I kiss her goodbye and catch my train.
Where I went wrong:
-I showed too much value too fast. Implicit value mostly, but also a bit too much explicit as well. If a girl knows what I do for a living, I'm doing something wrong (she didn't, but she knew too many details -- like that I started doing freelance some time ago and have grown from there).
-I should have gone for a more passionate approach. Arm around the shoulder was too slow.
-I should have said perhaps we watch a different movie, as the one she put on was all about existential philosophy and put us both into predominantly logical mindspaces.
-I asked her to make a logical decision for sleeping with me when I asked if I can sleep over (though really I didn't mean it that way, lol), which was really bad. I'd say that was the move that lost me the game. I should have just sucked it up and scuttled my ships. Still beating myself up a bit over that one.
When I got back to my place that night I texted her:
"Hi Eve, got home just fine. Always glad to make a new friend
"
She replied:
"Oh I'm so glad. For sure, it was nice meeting you. I love all that was discussed, and I really think you'll like it here. Believe me when I say that you can say anything and I'll respond as sincerely <I told her sincerity was extremely important to me in relationships> as I can. I felt it was slightly awkward when you left, but hey, maybe it doesn't matter."
I didn't respond to that.
So yeah, I was definitely too philosophical. Instead of trying to give her a more rational worldview I should have been demonstrating our commonalities more, and pushing harder for the close. When I left I bet she was pretty annoyed at me.
So my plan with this one is to wait for her to contact me. If she doesn't contact me, we're not moving forward. If she does, we might.
-Oskar
I am back in the big city (for the last two weeks now, after 2 years in a small town) and averaging about 7 numbers (5 of those responsive) and two dates a week. So far this has led to two "last 5%" mess ups and a lot of interesting conversation and experience with female resistance. I feel secure in my ability to find a few girls here to set up moderately committed yet partially open situations with -- it's just a matter of time really.
Today I want to go over a date I went on with a girl I met up with yesterday, who I met on Tinder. I started using Tinder when I came here, and after almost being tricked by a fat girl, I eventually get messaged by this girl Eve. She starts chasing from the get-go, and all I have to do is set a place and a time and a sexual frame. Simple.
We meet up at the metro station by her place (I'm staying in a not ideal place to seduce this first month, so I have to pull to their places or parks or things like this). I get there early so go find a ritzy hotel lobby with windows all around and leather chairs to lounge in nearby and wait for her to text me. We text our logistics back and forth and then we meet up in the lobby. I quickly pick-up on how she sees me in her eyes (a rich attractive aristocrat sojourning in her city who is in the running for being her prince charming), and know that today's game is going to be about attainability, because she is basically already ready to be pulled. Already sold -- but she's probably going to want to be in a relationship if she learns more about me, so even if that's what I want too, she might throw on the breaks sooner or later and mess it up.
I was banking on a meal first though, so we head off to a vegetarian restaurant a few blocks from her place. On the way there three unrelated guys stop and either compliment her (she's a sexy French-Filipina model, all dressed up) or stop and talk with her. I enjoy these stops, because I can just lean back, act friendly, put mild social pressure on them, and then afterwards she'd be apologizing to me for talking to "such people". Instant "us vs them". She's asking me too many questions about myself, so I flip them back onto her and start deep diving. We get to the restaurant and order food. She seems a bit put off that I don't buy her food, but I just slip it under the table with positive conversation so she stops thinking about it. We build a little sexual tension with a few long looks without saying anything. "I'm so in" is what I'm thinking now. After this she invites me back to her place to "pick up her cigarettes" (she says she doesn't do this often, and I believe her), and I say let's go.
We get to her place after some lighter banter. I take my shoes off and she gets me some water. She's doing all the work for me. She dims the lights, I sit on her couch (really nice place. She probably has never worked a day in her life -- that kind of rich), and she starts rolling a cigarette. I tell her to come sit by me; that she's a weirdo for sitting all the way over there, and she complies. I put my arm around her, chat for a few minutes, then go in for the kiss. After 30 seconds or so of making out though she stops us and asks if I'd like to watch a movie. I say, "Sure." of course, and she gets up and puts it on. She is acting cold now though. I pull her into me and tell her to kiss me but she now is just being super passive. It feels like she is trying to get me to chase now, which seems odd so late in the seduction. I persist then relax and persist some more. She is pressed into me and telling me I'm "so comfortable."
Watch some of the movie, and it turns out to be really good (Waking Life -- extremely philosophical), though it put both of us too much in a logical mindset. We end up discussing too much philosophy at this point, weakening both our passions. I'm getting tired (long day before this) and the last train back to my place is leaving in 15 minutes. I ask if I can stay over, and she is on the fence about it -- not wanting to appear too easy with some guy she just met on Tinder. She says that she wants to meet up again sometime next week. I make another attempt at escalating but she is now dispassionate, and her logical gears are humming. I try and reason with her about social expectations and how pointless these rules are (while still being respectful of them). The fish didn't bite and I dig myself into a hole talking about my views on sex and the ridiculous number of people in the world. Not really a way to get a girl feeling special... She's probably used to guys throwing themselves at her -- I doubt anyone's ever tried to reason her into the sack like that, haha! Anyway, it was a fool's gambit and I quickly realize this (and that I was trodding on her reasonable deniability), so I get up and prepare to go. She says that I don't have to go so fast. I say, "Yes I do, if I am to catch my train." I kiss her goodbye and catch my train.
Where I went wrong:
-I showed too much value too fast. Implicit value mostly, but also a bit too much explicit as well. If a girl knows what I do for a living, I'm doing something wrong (she didn't, but she knew too many details -- like that I started doing freelance some time ago and have grown from there).
-I should have gone for a more passionate approach. Arm around the shoulder was too slow.
-I should have said perhaps we watch a different movie, as the one she put on was all about existential philosophy and put us both into predominantly logical mindspaces.
-I asked her to make a logical decision for sleeping with me when I asked if I can sleep over (though really I didn't mean it that way, lol), which was really bad. I'd say that was the move that lost me the game. I should have just sucked it up and scuttled my ships. Still beating myself up a bit over that one.
When I got back to my place that night I texted her:
"Hi Eve, got home just fine. Always glad to make a new friend
"She replied:
"Oh I'm so glad. For sure, it was nice meeting you. I love all that was discussed, and I really think you'll like it here. Believe me when I say that you can say anything and I'll respond as sincerely <I told her sincerity was extremely important to me in relationships> as I can. I felt it was slightly awkward when you left, but hey, maybe it doesn't matter."
I didn't respond to that.
So yeah, I was definitely too philosophical. Instead of trying to give her a more rational worldview I should have been demonstrating our commonalities more, and pushing harder for the close. When I left I bet she was pretty annoyed at me.
So my plan with this one is to wait for her to contact me. If she doesn't contact me, we're not moving forward. If she does, we might.
-Oskar
