Online & Apps Tinder Girl Called me Pretty

[SunnyVibes]

Tinder match’s response to opener:
“Thanks! Your really pretty.”

My response:
No thank you-I do not prefer feminine based compliments.

She unmatched.

My thoughts:
This is a double bind.
I thought of flirting with her: which part of me do you find pretty?
I didn’t because I have a dislike of being called feminine based compliments.

Also, I know the principle of this article-

Reacting to Female Rudeness and Faux Pas

When girls commit faux pas or act rude, you may be tempted to tell them off. This is not what to do… if your plan is to bed them or date them, that is. We had a report on the forum recently where a newer member had a girl show up blacked out drunk to a date. The girl made some basic...

www.girlschase.com

I decided to not follow the advice in this article today.
I do not have a technical question, but personal views are welcome.

 

[Skills]

Tinder match’s response to opener:
“Thanks! Your really pretty.”

My response:
No thank you-I do not prefer feminine based compliments.

She unmatched.

My thoughts:
This is a double bind.
I thought of flirting with her: which part of me do you find pretty?
I didn’t because I have a dislike of being called feminine based compliments.

Also, I know the principle of this article-

Reacting to Female Rudeness and Faux Pas

When girls commit faux pas or act rude, you may be tempted to tell them off. This is not what to do… if your plan is to bed them or date them, that is. We had a report on the forum recently where a newer member had a girl show up blacked out drunk to a date. The girl made some basic...

www.girlschase.com

I decided to not follow the advice in this article today.
I do not have a technical question, but personal views are welcome.

totally uncalibrated.... Horrible and rude by you! that is why she unmatched you.... she was not being rude maybe English her second language...

you could have used that too flirt.... me: pretty! there goes my manhood, let me fix that for you "thanks, you are so handsome" much better.... So how are guys treating you around here???

 

[topcat]

o boy…

I get called pretty and beautiful by women far more often than i get called handsome tbh. Online and offline.

Hasn’t done me any harm.

Lighten up.

 

[Derek da man]

When you get a compliment, any compliment, be a gentleman and say thank you, even if there is an element of sarcasm there.

Girls see things from a very different perspective. To them being "handsome" is often about the simplicity of a suit and tie, as soon as you look casual and on trend you don't fit in the "handsome" box.

A man would say a girl is "pretty" because he enjoys looking at her, from a girls perspective being considered "pretty" isn't about femininity it's about being "easy on the eye" and good to look at. She wasn't implying you are any less manly!

 

[SunnyVibes]

@Skills , @topcat , @Derek da man ,
Nice to hear hear from you.

I sensed a common theme in the perspectives shared.

Let me know if I’m off the mark, but you guys let a woman’s intentions be the guidelines for where you set your boundaries instead of personal dislikes yes?

As seducers, in which areas do we get to have firm boundaries regardless of our partner’s intentions such that it obstructs seduction/it does not obstruct seduction.

In the above case, I understand there’s no malice from the girl-I just don’t prefer a compliment like that.

Also, awesome way of putting things into perspective @Derek da man !!

“Girls see things from a very different perspective. To them being "handsome" is often about the simplicity of a suit and tie, as soon as you look casual and on trend you don't fit in the "handsome" box.

A man would say a girl is "pretty" because he enjoys looking at her, from a girls perspective being considered "pretty" isn't about femininity it's about being "easy on the eye" and good to look at. She wasn't implying you are any less manly!”

I can definitely can use this in defining my values. Thanks!

 

[James D]

A man would say a girl is "pretty" because he enjoys looking at her, from a girls perspective being considered "pretty" isn't about femininity it's about being "easy on the eye" and good to look at. She wasn't implying you are any less manly!

+1

 

[Derek da man]

Let me know if I’m off the mark, but you guys let a woman’s intentions be the guidelines for where you set your boundaries instead of personal dislikes yes?

I fully agree with having your own boundaries. I expect good manners and a girl to be feminine, fun etc. Probably much the same as you.

I think where we are different is just how we interpret certain comments as being complimentary or otherwise. Most people would say that's down to calibration but there are other influencing factors such as how some words make you feel which can be based on personal biases such as how you've learnt to associate being a "pretty boy" with previous experiences either from events or possibly TV shows or similar.

 

[Bo Diddley]

I'm going to go against the grain here, but I'm sensing non-compliance. Not knowing what exactly what the OP's opener was, you'd still expect an interested and compliant girl to roll with it, or at least acknowledge it with more than a "thanks", which effectively douses water on whatever the OP was trying to initially establish. And then the awkward "compliment" to followup with. Tinder women are the most self-absorbed women on OLD in my experience so you have to weed out the lukewarm ones and give them minimal effort yourselves.

I would bet if OP followed up with "Welcome, not bad yourself lol. How was the wekeend?" It would likely engender another minimal, extraction-seeking response that would force the OP to continue "working", rather than her facilitaing a fun, easy interaction.

 

[SunnyVibes]

I'm going to go against the grain here, but I'm sensing non-compliance. Not knowing what exactly what the OP's opener was, you'd still expect an interested and compliant girl to roll with it, or at least acknowledge it with more than a "thanks", which effectively douses water on whatever the OP was trying to initially establish. And then the awkward "compliment" to followup with. Tinder women are the most self-absorbed women on OLD in my experience so you have to weed out the lukewarm ones and give them minimal effort yourselves.

I would bet if OP followed up with "Welcome, not bad yourself lol. How was the wekeend?" It would likely engender another minimal, extraction-seeking response that would force the OP to continue "working", rather than her facilitaing a fun, easy interaction.

Hey Bo Diddley, you may or may not be right , but I feel it’s better not to guess the actions of a girl with whom things ended.
Also, always assume attraction.
Cheers!
SunnyVibes

 

[Red]

Women called me pretty the other day. She wanted to eat me alive. I'm OK with being pretty.

 

[rockstar]

If you're in person and a girl calls you something like pretty or cute, and you judge it to be patronizing (like "Awwwww, you're so cute!!!") you have more options like:

"Shuuut the fuck up", drawn out playfully with a big grin, and eye contact. Or "Don't fucking call me cute!" again big grin and super playful. This should be pretty animated and come off as "I know what you're doing, tricky girl", not anything serious.

You can still do this if it's more subtle, but you can also just shrug it off with a quick "thanks" and move on.

Or if it's your style, put your hand under your chin, look up and to the side, and bat your eyes like a girl.

You can chase frame too "Oh no, another girl who's just after me for my irresistible looks"

However, you're not going to be able to do the first one over text. You could send the last one as a gif, or send that prince charming hair flip gif. Or a gif of a dude in pigtails. Or some pouty baby/puppy with a text "I'm not cute I'm dangerous". Maybe you can find some gif of ron swanson with the text "I'm not cute I'm a man" - there's a million examples of these (gif texting is great), just don't be too much of a dancing monkey.

You can also chase frame over text "I hope you don't say that to all the guys on here "

You can also just say thanks and continue with something else, or not even address it.

 

[Red]

When a girl compliments my appearance I always ask if they've talking to my.momma. Always gets a laugh and makes me seem less arrogant while letting the compliment stand.

 

[Red]

When a girl compliments my appearance I always ask if they've talking to my.momm. Always gets a laugh and makes me seem less arrogant while letting the compliment stand.