FU: Nutcase?
Okay, so this report documents an interesting lil fuck up I had today. Feedback is more than welcomed.
Background: This is a continuation of my last entry to my journal (see Topcat's Journal). I met up with an old acquaintance today whom I was intent on fucking. Bored earlier this week, I made a shot in the dark and basically asked her to chill. We ended up agreeing to hang out at her place today, and this report records that meeting.
FU: I get to Nikki's house and it turns out she has a room mate. It's a basement apartment rather crowded, with an open concept living room/kitchen, with the girl's bedrooms side by side facing into the living room. Not exactly the best scene for intimacy, when a roommate is within earshot, but whatever. I came with the purpose of getting layed, so i don't let this phase me.
I figure that given this situation I should play it cool and be friendly towards her roommate Sarah. I introduce myself and while in the kitchen proceed with light banter with Nikki occasionally pointing questions towards Sarah who at first is awkward but quickly warms up and gets talkative.
After Nikki has completed making Kraft dinner, we sit on the couch. Sarah is applying makeup across from us on the ground, watching a tv show on her laptop. I take note that this must mean she'll be leaving at some point - hopefully soon, giving me a chance to escalate with Nikki. Nikki and I proceed to watch the show along with Sarah and we engage in bouts of light conversation. Both girls are about to graduate so I point conversations towards this topic and also around the show ( as I've never watched it before). My goal was to get Nikki into her room alone as I felt this was more conducive to escalation. All the while my vibe is relaxed and chill, I position myself on the furniture in a sensual, confident matter, casually taking up space and feeling comfortable. At this stage, Nikki is sat on the couch comfortably her arm is spread out behind me. I need an excuse to get her to her room, and assuming she has art in her room, I ask to see what art she has in her home. With this she immediately gets up and heads to her room. I follow. My reasoning behind this is that I felt it easier to escalate and kiss her if she is away from roomie. I also figure that if the roomie is to leave anytime soon I'll already be in a perfect place to escalate.
About ten minutes have passed since I arrived. Nikki's on the bed and sexual tension is high (my dick began to get hard). I could feel her scrambling to start conversations, and in retrospect feel this would have been the perfect opportunity to kiss her. I was however unsure with her roommate being within the line of sight, so I held it off.
Conversation is easy at this point. I have her tell me about her art pieces which she does, and also her giant movie collection. One thing I noticed is she talks about her ex a lot...
I have her suggest a good movie to watch, thinking that this could lead to more intimacy in her room, if we watch it on her laptop. She suggests Horrible Bosses, which I've seen but pretend not to because it's just easier, and my focus is not the the movie but rather on being intimate. She takes the movie out into the living room and says she'll wait till her room mate is done her show and then we can watch it on the tv. Cool, so she has a tv. Intimacy while watching her laptop on the bed won't happen, but a movie on the couch is good enough.
I'm on the bed, casual as usual in a reclining pose. The room mate leaves briefly and I cease this as my opportunity to let Nikki know why I'm there. She's looking down and talking. I lift her chin and go in for a kiss.. She reciprocates and immediately is using her tongue (this caught me off guard as I was expecting to kiss closed mouth). I'm about to pull away, pause and reengage, but as I pull away so does she... And begins laughing! I'm slightly confused but play it cool and skeptical to see what happens next. More laughing. I ask her what's so funny with a casual smile on. "I'm sorry" she says, still laughing as she gets up, leaves the room, and returns. She tells me she's sorry she's laughing and that she is flattered..but she can't do this (Wtf?). She goes on to talk something about how she is dealing with too much right now, and how she doesn't want to complicate her life anymore than it is. I tell her it doesn't have to be complicated in a soft playful voice and a sly smile. She goes on about some stuff about wanting to be alone, and ex boyfriends, and anxiety, and a bag of stuff that totally fucks up the mood.
At this point I recoil and don't try to force anything, neither do I verbally try to convince her as I know chances of this working in my favor are moot (how would y'all get around this resistance?). In situations previously where I've faced resistance to kissing, I've recoiled and played it cool, only to have things heat up, when i reengage later. This is now my game plan. I'm still laying, chilling on the bed and I'm sure I was lightly caressing her but it's a blur at this point.
Her friend leaves I kiss her that whole spiel happens.
Her roommate returns with a friend and now Nikki's behaviour begins to get erratic. She sits on the bed then gets up walks around and says a bunch of other stuff to her roommate asking questions and what not, the erratic type of stuff girls say when you know they're nervous or feeling awkward. I'm not phased, still on the bed chilling I introduce myself to the roommate's friend who just came and engage them all in conversation. Talking on my part is minimal, but enough to stoke the coversation, which continues for roughly ten minutes until the roommate and friend eventually leave.
There is more unfocused, erratic conversation on Nikki's part on the topic of stress and anxiety, so i decide it's necessary to divert the conversation to more positive topics. I ask her about her goals when she graduates,and then her tattoos. I touch her as I ask her to tell me about them. She complies. She mentions my cold hands and I take this as an opportunity to further touch her. We touch hands and she warmly caresses my fingers. Then she begins to go off about how she wants to go and paint in the studio at school tonight, and that she has alot of work to do. I see that this might be a hint that i need to leave soon, so i divert the conversation towards the movie.
We put in the movie and there is not much talking, the odd laugh here and there but nothing substantial. It's weird. she seems not to mind my company she just abjects to intimacy...
I decide to try again. I tell her that she need not sit so far away from me, as I don't bite. She apologises and says that her new neck tattoo hurts and that where she is sat is most comfortable for it. I close the gap between us by moving closer (about a foot or so) and put my arm around her and caress her neck and shoulders. I try to kiss her again and she rejects it warmly with "i can't". I kiss her face and neck in attempts to warm her up, and she laughs slightly and says that she can't once again". I pull back and tell her she's difficult with a sly smile and she responds that she is not difficult, she just isn't down for it. I back off for a few minutes and then begin caressing her leg. She is fine with this. I go on to caress her arm, but when i try to lift her arm (which is basically at her crotch) she tells me to "STOP IT" repeatedly and firmly, but with a slight smile. I back off and apologise, essentially giving up, and take in the movie. (One thing I pick up on is that she will not give me eye contact. She is always staring to the left and right alternately when we speak, or directly at the movie when I try to engage her intimately).
Movie ends. More light banter, and we get ready to leave. Me for home, and her to the painting studio.
I walk her to the studio as it is on the way to the station. I talk to her about her future and what she plans to do. Once we reach the studio, i bid her farewell and give her a hug. Interestingly enough, i tried to keep it a brief hug as i'd given up on her but she clutched me tightly. I reciprocated with a solid hug and while letting go it seemed as though she was waiting for a kiss to the forhead or cheek, but I picked up on it too late, and wasn't really interested anymore. I said my byes and walked to the station.
This was just a learning experience, I'm still very much a beginner so I'm not mad at how this played out. I'd just like some feedback on what i could've done better as I'm sure there's alot. My bad for this short novel
Thanks,
Topcat
