Toxic Family?

[Whizzy]

Hey Guys,

I know that Chase has done some articles about removing toxic people, especially friends from his life...however does the same extend towards family? If they are psychic vampires or prefer to hold you back is it worth associating with them? I've been contemplating this for some time, but if you ask 99% of people I know they would say you can't just drop family like that.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I know that Chase has done some articles about removing toxic people, especially friends from his life...however does the same extend towards family? If they are psychic vampires or prefer to hold you back is it worth associating with them? I've been contemplating this for some time, but if you ask 99% of people I know they would say you can't just drop family like that.

Try to get your own house, Don't answer phone calls and text messages so much. Spend less time with them. Not exactly a good thing but you think again, it isn't wrong either.

I once fought my uncle and auntie in a verbal fight, Not exactly nice since my mum is around but sometimes people cross the line, so it's best to try draw as much neutral ground as possible, by spending less time with them. DOn't worry about it, but do take note unless it's terrible.

I am sure you can speak nice things.

Zac

 

[Nova]

In my opinion family is one of those areas where you just have to accept and bite the bullet to a degree. I think family's so important and its not as if you don't move away as you get older anyway, when you get a job, an house/apartment etc etc. I think it depends on how you view your relationship with you family I guess. For me I would never try to distance myself from my family.

 

[Whizzy]

I already do have my own place, job etc and have for the past 4 years. I try to call them like once a week just to keep in touch but every time for the most part I regret it. Maybe calling once a month instead of every week is a better option

 

[Richard]

Whizzy, if you're thinking about removing toxic family from your life, then please understand that, I AGREE WITH YOU! Contemporary media, and modern thought depicts family as a wholesome unit, that family ties are unbreakable bonds, and for that matter family should never be put on the back shelf... I call BULLSHIT! I've seen my fair share of good and bad families, close and distant families, and in my opinion, a small portion of families actually exist as the "world depicts them" anyway. By sheer means of happiness, it is best to remove people who don't support you, or don't influence you in a positive manner, family is no exception.
A family is composed of people, and families generally work because people who grow with one another wind up close, and wind up supportive. However, unless this closeness is instilled at a young age and is a regular occurrence, these ties can fade, severe, as they did with my family. Because of that, people grow up with different ideas, and I don't view all family as family, I don't believe that 100% of families are parallel with "Blood is thicker than water."
So, in your case, it is best to get away from your toxic family mostly by severing whatever ties you can with them. Don't respond to all their advances to communicate (talking on the phone, texting, invites to houses, or invites to parties). Do as much as you can without the family members who are toxic, and instead, surround yourself with friends who do support you because they will become a "family."

 

[MonsterzRock]

Re: Toxic Family?---REPLY

Wow! I also have to agree with Zphix here.

Both of my ex wives complained about my mother and brother and how distanced they were from those marriages. For the past 20 years I have been dealing with one-sided relationships with these family members where I've been the only one calling or maintaining contact. If I wasn't doing this I wouldn't hear from them for months on end (and we all lived in the same city for 15 years). I severed all contact with them 18 months ago and haven't heard from them since.

Sadly, this is going to sound brutally harsh but my mother is a selfish bitch. My Dad said she's been like that since high school and has left a trail of pissed off family members going back about four decades. NO ONE in my extended has anything to do with her. I could write pages about it here but I've already done that on my own over the past 20 years, LOL!

Why would I want to subject myself or a girlfriend, lover, etc. to that kind of insanity? Thankfully, I have good relations with other family members and friends that are a far cry from this.