TR: Text Report

[Godsninja]

I wanted to share this experience, but it's not any of the three kinds of reports, it's a text report. If anyone has followed my experiences, you'll know that after a lot of fuck ups via text, that I'm not too fond of texting..

So I meet this girl for a volunteer call campaign for the college I go to. First day of four, she was sitting eating nutella w/ sticks. She was facing away from me the entire time, even though our seats pointed in the same direction (they are fixed waiting room chairs). (We talked a bit, not just the first day but all days, like regular co-workers). The second day after the calls (8pm) I sat down next/across from here at a table, and we chatted. I liked the way about her, she was geeky/nerdy in a really cute way, so I asked if she wanted to go out with me after the call campaigns. She agreed, mentioned that she's not too picky of a person when it comes to the dates (as in, the location), and then changed gears pretty fast and started talking about LOTR. So..call campaign ended a day short, with only 3 days, so I got her number on the last day.

She asked me via text what I had planned, any time we texted to confirm plans. I didn't want to tell her and give it away so I just said "we'll go to a place i like "

She rescheduled because apparently something happened to her grandfather. Date was supposed to be Thursday, now it's Sunday.

We text to confirm again and she tell me what time shes off work and asks what I have in mind. I just say "Ok do u want me to get u there or after u get home? Well do something we both like..havnt quite made my mind up yet ;p". She asks again, texting me "Ok. What did you have planned? I need to be able to tell my parents where i will be." So then I text her where, which is a coffee time next to a popular pizza joint. She texts back "sound good". I think coffee sounds boring, which is partly why I didn't just say that in the first place.

She texts me the next day around afternoon this:

"after having talked with my parents, i have decide since you can not seem to share information on what you wish to do without a lot of prompting, i am declining the meeting tonight and for the foreseable future. I ask that you respect my decision and refrain from contacting me."

which frames me in kind of a fucked up way, I think..

So I thought, fuck it, I'll tell her what I think:

Me: "Thats crazy..but i guess i understand.. Guess it wasnt ment to be. I'll rele miss ur presence this evening.."

Nothing like this has happened to me before, and I don't really know what to think. Perhaps something bad happened to this girl in her past and now she's super careful, OR perhaps she's just a way bigger cork head than I initially thought! What I do know is that she made a mistake, and that she's going to have to live with that decision for the rest of her life, even after her looks fade.

I guess the point of this post is to fish for where the fine line of how much information to divulge is. I don't think I did too bad, could have done better, but thinking about it all...I don't think I would have wanted it to go better with this kind of girl

Peace!

 

[NarrowJ]

Godsninja,

All seemed on the up and up to me until this part:

She asked me via text what I had planned, any time we texted to confirm plans. I didn't want to tell her and give it away so I just said "we'll go to a place i like "

You gotta let her know exactly what you have in mind, so she knows what she's agreeing to. Surprise dates are fun later on in relationships, and girls do like them, but you don't do that to a girl who knows next to nothing about you. Instead, tell her what you're shooting for: coffee, ice cream, alcoholic drinks, etcetera. It just makes it easier for her to agree to something, if she knows what she's doing beforehand.

She rescheduled because apparently something happened to her grandfather. Date was supposed to be Thursday, now it's Sunday.

Probably waffling a bit on things. She likes you, and wants to get to know you, but you haven't told her what you want to do. She simply doesn't want to put herself into a bad situation.

You: "Ok do u want me to get u there or after u get home? Well do something we both like..havnt quite made my mind up yet ;p"
Her: "Ok. What did you have planned? I need to be able to tell my parents where i will be."

The parents thing is an excuse. But the concern remains. Additionally, she's probably also thinking to herself that you have no idea how to plan a date. Women love a man-with-a-plan.

I think coffee sounds boring, which is partly why I didn't just say that in the first place.

It's not "boring" per se, but yeah it is simple, which is what you want. Give these articles a read:

• Simplify Your Dates
• Keeping It Simple For Planing Great Dates

"after having talked with my parents, i have decide since you can not seem to share information on what you wish to do without a lot of prompting, i am declining the meeting tonight and for the foreseable future. I ask that you respect my decision and refrain from contacting me."

Ha. I highly doubt she actually talked to her parents about it, but is just using that as an excuse. But yeah, couple of lessons learned here:

1. Always tell the girl what/where/when, as it (a) alleviates any concern that you're trying to pull something weird and also (b) tells her that you know what you're doing.
2. Simple dates are the way to go!


Hope this helps, man!

J.J.