Trajectory of my life. Need advice from successful guys

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TomInHo

Modern Human
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I think the ban was a bit harsh. Was he being rude…yes

But let’s get real for second

There are not a lot of places on the internet that have a culture and ideas like us. Therefore some of the newcomers will naturally have bad programming and faulty ways of communication

I think a warning and educating them on our culture and proper conduct is a better solution than banning immediately

And if they don’t pay attention to warnings and correction then a ban is well warranted

Just my 2c
 

Will_V

Chieftan
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should probably clarify. my work involves coaching people. so the incentive is also $$$.

Most people who come to me are already open to help, so it's not usual to find people resistant like OP...

but this guy did come to the forum for help.

Did he though?

These kind of bans are always debatable and the exact line is hard to find, but let's look at things for a second.

The main thing you need to have to be able to teach someone is a willingness to learn on their part. It's tempting to think you can confront a stubborn person on the internet and by saying the right words and everyone piling in to reinforce it, you can get them to change their minds. Since when has that actually happened on this forum, or anywhere? I can't remember a single case in all the time I've been here. What really happens is that it becomes an ego battle where they feel they must defend themselves by all means possible, it ends in a big meltdown, and they are forced out the door in much more dishonorable circumstances.

Even if they did change their minds, they probably would not be able to let go of their disdain for this place and what it did to them, and no one would ever know. It's very easy to wound people's egos, especially those who have a very artificial sense of their own identity.

For people like these, in my opinion, the only thing that has any chance of effecting a change from outside (that is, unless he just develops a slow realization himself) is personal coaching by a skilled teacher who knows how to avoid ego conflict. Unfortunately that is not possible on a public forum. And is it what we really want to do? Are we a charity of therapists?

All the psychoanalysts of old, such as Freud and Jung, knew that the worst possible thing you can do if you want to effect deep change in someone is to get into conflict with their ego. You have to find a way to become a mirror to the parts of them that you want them to see, without them feeling the intrusion of your presence. And not only that, the ego of the teacher (or analyst) is as much of an obstacle to getting a good result - the need to be right, or the need to feel one's own authority, can make everything disfunctional and ensnare the parts of the student that you want them to overcome.

On a public forum, that sort of relationship is not possible. We are not all skilled psychologists or therapists, nor can we be such a thing in this setting anyway. This place represents information on seduction and fellowship of seducers, and exactly like @ulrich said, when the student is ready they will appear. The successes of this forum have all been enthusiastic, willing, ambitious guys who have put things into practice, taken feedback, and gotten results. We will have to content ourselves with this.

The other thing is that drama is a black hole for energy. Despite the fact that spats between individuals and the community never resolve into anything useful, they draw in the focus and energy of everyone, some because they want to help the hard cases, others because they want a part of the drama. If too much of this is allowed, all the energy that could otherwise go into creating useful information for willing students will end up being wasted in useless effort, brawling or tit-for-tatting. And people who come here ready to learn will see the mess and wonder what we are really about.

In this case, I think @HighVoltage has a concept of women and male self development that is entirely artificial. Do you really want to sit there and dismantle all the hundreds of hours of videos of fast cars, parties, instagram muscle mommies, and rhetoric from gurus that he has doubtless consumed? Seems like a waste of time, focus, and energy to me, and destined to fail. Maybe he will succeed somehow in making that a reality for himself, but this isn't really the best place to help him do that.

Just like there are countless women in the world, there are also places on the internet to cater to all the kinds of people there are at all the stages of development. Let him go where he belongs right now. And that keeps this place focused on what it is really for - seduction.
 

Swift

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Did not read the other replies, just going to state my opinion. Your goals are unrealistic and pointless and even if you achieved them (which you won't, those are very statistically difficult things to do), you still wouldn't be happy.

See past the illusions that society preseents us. Instagram and porn star hotties are normally girls who were born a little more attractive than usual (most are not legit 9's or higher). And they have fame and fanboys because they're fucking on camera or posting often on social media. It's an illusion. I've met girls who fit these categories. They are attractive. The last one I met was really cool and sweet, but it was a professional setting so I didn't want to risk that, plus she probably gets hit on so much I wanted to play the slow game and just be alpha and cool and funny around her and wait for her to give me an indication of interest.

Anyways, a medical doctor in my old hometown that I know bought a Ferrari and posted it all over facebook and social media. You know what I thought when I saw that? And what most people probably thought too?

FUCKING INSECURE AS HELL. I can't believe this medical doctor is so insecure he had to spent over $200,000-$300,000 on a car. That was just pathetic. I have met him and spent time with him. He's a beta male that definitely has no game. The car won't change shit.

Your goals need to have compelling reaons behind them. Why is your goal to fuck a porn star? How is that better than fucking an equally hot girl you meet at the mall?

These goals are superficial and you've completely bought into this illusion that's been up since social media boomed and everyone got computers and phones. Some of your goals contradict each other too. Being a computer programmer will make it harder to get laid. It's not an attractive job, plus you'll spend tons of time alone on a screen, which will decay your social skills. I know ONE computer programmer who got laid a lot, in my entire life. I've met maybe 10,000 people and been to over 20-30 countries.

Think about your goals more and why you want them. It looks like someone who spends all day on the computer and watches porn and movies and anime all day just quickly made a short list of goals that are not consistent with reality. No offense, but it really seems that way.

I've fucked insanely hot girls before, who could be social media ifnluencers, for all I know they are, I don't really use social media. But I guarantee you, if I didn't meet them in real life, I could NOT have laid them by contacting them on social media and trying to do that.

If you really want to fuck a pornstar, the only realistic way is to pay them. Unless you can figure out a way to meet them in person and you have good seduction skills, a random message from somebody won't work, they are bombarded with messages.

By much richer, taller, cooler, bette rlooking, guys, who also have better game than you, and those guys are being rejected or ignored. Online dating and social media tilted the "game" in favor of women, since most guys are pussies and won't cold approach, dating apps and dating websites are their go to, they can spam "hey what's up" to 100 hot girls a day. So you're competing with a huge majority of guys when using dating apps. If you're chasing famous girls. Even non-famous girls are spammed. I laid a girl before and she showed me her plentyoffish.com inbox. It was FUCKING FLOODED, by good looking cool guys too. This girl was a 6 AT BEST. these guys were way out of her league and were still trying to contact her, she got contacted so much her dating market value is falsely inflated, she ignores messages from guys that she would never ignore if they approached her in person. This is a random non-famous girl who might even be a 4 or 5 (probably y6) on a 1 to 10 scale, not hot but not ugly. Her inbox was like 100 messages a day. It was pathetic to read some of the messages, and interesting to see cetain types of guys try to seduce her and fail. If a girl who is super avergae looking gets spammed like that, a porn star or instagram model gets 10,000 times more spam, and probably has literal stalkers.
 

Swift

Space Monkey
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Was this guy serious? I jus tsaw he was banned. Can people really be this stupid and dense? Did he even realize the goals he listed contradicted each other? Being a computer programmer as a full time job makes it almost impossible to be a competitive athlete in any sport, yet he wanst to be a bodybuilder, which I bet he knows nothing about it, and he wants to be a UFC fighter? Those 3 goals clash. The more time he spends on any of the 3...

1. Computer programmer.
2. Bodybuilding.
3. MMA.

All 3 of these are skills that make you worse at the other 2. Bodybuilders (legit ones) have too much muscle mass to move around and fight in UFC, and if he's a compute rprogrammer where will he find time? Either a troll or an inflated ego of a kid who is disconnected from reality...

Probably has never been in a fist fight. I've done martial arts for over 10 years of my life, 2-3 years were at an MMA school where the other students were training to be cage fighters, I was equally skilled as the cage fighters but decided I wasn't good enough to do it and I didn't care much about that anyways. If I was good enough MMA teacher would've probably told me to try out. I've been in 20ish fights or so, and won all of them but 1, and I wouldn't stand a chance at becoming a UFC fighter. This guy if not a troll, is comical enough to be a character on a comedy sitcom.

Combat sports with heavy impact can cause brain trauma or long term or life-long injuries, which would fuck up his ability to be a computer programmer.

Computer programming itself would make him worse at bodybuilding and MMA.

Bodybuilding would make him worse / unable to be a UFC fighter (if he could even get a bodybuilder physique).

MMA would make it harder to be a bodybuilder, lots of cardio, have to make weight, he would be fighting in a much heavier weight class than he should be if he did become a bodybuilder, and heavy cardio or heavy impact would make him a worse bodybuilder. You only have so much energy in a day for exercise, and MMA could injure him or break a joint or his fingers, then he wouldn't be able to computer program or bodybuild.

Have no idea why I dissected his post so deeply, I just can't believe someone has goals like that.
 

ABX

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Jan 28, 2023
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Kinda confused right now and wanted this community's opinion. Is it wrong to have big goals? I have plenty big goals that I want to achieve because...I just do? I'm not really content with being average or slightly above average, I want to be exceptional. Does every big goal need to have a deep philosophical reason?
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
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Kinda confused right now and wanted this community's opinion. Is it wrong to have big goals? I have plenty big goals that I want to achieve because...I just do? I'm not really content with being average or slightly above average, I want to be exceptional. Does every big goal need to have a deep philosophical reason?

It’s not bad to have big goals… but you also have to be realistic.

Getting a million dollars is no easy task and the people who achieve it normally take no less than 10 years.
Getting ripped tends to be a 6+ years goal in the best case scenarios.
And becoming a master PUA… I have no idea but that’s 5 at least??
Add that to any other “big goal” you have.

So, even if you are an outlier in one of the arenas, you’re likely not gifted in all of them.
Several “big goals” are truly a life’s work.

So if you’re up to the challenge, just understand this is the minimum amount of work you will need to put in… and there are no warranties.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Nov 11, 2019
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South Florida
It’s not bad to have big goals… but you also have to be realistic.

Getting a million dollars is no easy task and the people who achieve it normally take no less than 10 years.
Getting ripped tends to be a 6+ years goal in the best case scenarios.
And becoming a master PUA… I have no idea but that’s 5 at least??
Add that to any other “big goal” you have.

So, even if you are an outlier in one of the arenas, you’re likely not gifted in all of them.
Several “big goals” are truly a life’s work.

So if you’re up to the challenge, just understand this is the minimum amount of work you will need to put in… and there are no warranties.
No having goals is great is a self improvement and seduction are link, forum is full of highly successful millionaires... Problem with the op was the I want to do this to them get girls is a flawed mentality that could backfire if you want girls..
 

POB

Chieftan
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Locked.
OP was a troll and been banned for a while now.

@ABX and @Swift one of you guys can start another thread for this topic if you still need opinions/help.
 
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