Transition from cool guy to cool, sexy guy

[LearningMan]

Went out this past weekend, and had several girls say,"you're a cool guy"
Thinking back, I've had lots of men and women tell me I'm a cool guy in the past
My friend-girls told me I looked sexy before we went out. I definitely looked the part, but my conversations(some deep diving, some social) never seemed to go into sexy territory.
I read about having a sexy vibe and keeping a sexy frame, but those concepts are somewhat abstract and borderline esoteric, especially for a newbie.
What are some concrete examples I can use to keep a sexy vibe and frame?

 

[HellAtlantic]

I think that's an excellent question and I'd love to see some ppl's perspectives and opinions on this.

 

[HippertyHopperty]

Hi LearningMan,

Welcome to the Boards.

I agree, when your starting out those concepts are very abstract but they do make sense once you think about them and get more reference points form interactions with women.

Read this article for some more concrete examples of being sexual aka through creating sexual tension: https://www.girlschase.com/content/sexua ... -and-randy

Read that article on chase framing as well.

Essentially though if your being perceived as cool it sounds if your a lot like i was. Good at deep diving and conversation but too agreeable. You need to add some sexuality to your interactions. This might sound stupid but next time your talking to a girl think whether your actually getting turned on, are you getting a boner or at least excited about the conversation? If the answer is no your not being sexual enough and your probably just have a good, but vanilla, conversation.

A easy way to add some sexuality is through flirting (also read the article on that!). Say something like "I love a girl in a red dress... very sexy".

I hope this helps,

HipHop

 

[ray_zorse]

HippertyHopperty's got it basically, but another thing I can add is being unfiltered: No doubt, if you are chatting to an attractive woman, various thoughts are passing through your mind: Does she have a boyfriend... she looks sexy in that dress... etc. If you're thinking it, SAY IT. Obviously, this can cause problems, I have blurted out in the middle of a conversation "Do you have a boyfriend?" and had her reply "That's an extremely weird question", but as you get better, you get much smoother. If you never say it, you never get more calibrated at saying it. How I would articulate these example thoughts would be something like in this conversation, based on one that happened this morning:

(the tram lurches and I nearly fall into a seated girl's lap)
Me: if I fall, you can catch me [this is a light sexual frame because I'm verbally mentioning the possibility of body-on-body physical contact between us]
Her: (laughs)
Me: just put these down here [she's carrying something in her lap... I indicate putting it on the floor so that I can sit in her lap, another light sexual frame]
Her: (laughs)
Me: you're on your way to class now?
Her: yes, I just have one lecture today
Me: wow it's a great day to finish early... you can go for coffee, sit in the sun... meet your boyfriend [I make eye contact and smile in a teasing fashion]
Her: (smiles) no
Me: oh, you don't have a boyfriend... I'm surprised about that, you look very sexy in that dress
Her: (smiles and turns to talk to her friend)

Here the interaction didn't go quite as I'd hoped, but the point is I SAID IT, and thereby screened her out as not a sexual option. Whereas she knew I was a highly sexual man.

Ray

 

[LearningMan]

Thank for the pointers. From the article Hipperty posted, there are a few things that are solid and a few of them I need to work on.
Also frame control was linked in that article. That is something I began messing with, but haven't been conscious of it lately.
Ray, I'll definitely work on vocalizing more of my thoughts. That is definitely happening more often....as I lose my "nice guy" filter that blocks most of the good stuff.

 

[Skid]

What hippie said is important to building a sexual frame : sexual innuendos and having sexual thoughts about the girl, However something he didn't mention and what I think is just as if not more important is the body language equivalent- sexual smile and eye contact. In my experience when I get turned on during an interaction it's when I pull the sexual smile with strong eye contact and the the girls acts really super feminine and submits in some way - she'll look down or play with her hair or both and/or she'll sexually smile in return.

Which leads to my second point : the girls role in a sexual frame. How dominant you are in an interaction is determined by the girl not you. Which is something you have to be aware of - you can try to be as mucho as you want and pull a million dollar sexual smile but some girls will just look at you like you told her its going to rain tomorrow lols. And well that doesn't really make you look masculine. She has to act feminine and accept the frame in return otherwise it falls flat. So yeah frame control is really important as well - but I usually see it more as frame leading. I personally haven't had much success with plowing but maybe once you get better you're able to pull sexual frames easier but if the girl doesn't bite from the start I haven't been able to turn it around. So that's the element out of your control and rays extract shows that. But it's good to do anyway because it screens out girls who have a low receptivity to you also like ray said.

Skid