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Transition points in your journeys!

Bete Noire

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
123
Hey GC!

I've been readily reading and applying all the stuff that i'm reading on this site and it is awesome! These boards just help you improve so much faster!

I would love to know however what the main parts of your journey have been and if you have any advice for new comers like myself, what would that advice entail?

To put the question into context I've been looking at some of the older forum members posts and trying to go through there posts to find out periods where they rapidly improve and if they had a 'structure' to their journey,

If you could give me the low down on what you've done so far, main transition or sticking points and then advice I would greatly appreciate it!

Cheers,

- Rob
 

PrettyDecent

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 2, 2013
Messages
865
Hey Rob,

If I broke down my journey, it might look like this:

First 10 months: 1 escalation + 1 lay. Approach, approach, approach - that's all I was doing. And I wasn't going much anywhere.

Months 10-28: Sleeping with average girls regularly. Occasionally sleeping with a 'pretty cute' girl.

Months 28-35: Sleeping with 'pretty cute' girls regularly. Slept with maybe 1 or 2 really hot girls. Easy to get into relationships with most girls, if I so choose.

If there's a particular sticky point that's bedevilling you, write down that part of the interaction and break down why it isn't working. If your problem is sexual tension, is it the actual sexual frame that you're tripping up on, or is it that there isn't enough emotional connection for her to feel comfortable? Writing frees your brain from processing the memory to just analysing.

I have at least a hundred pages worth of writing and reflection in a personal journal of mine since September. That's when I really started to improve.

So my advice to those who are in a sticky point: write, write, write, write! It's so important. Write!

If you aren't writing, you're robbing yourself of the most valuable part of practice: quality reflection.

~Nick
 

Paulie Walnuts

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
183
I've been at this for two and a half months so far, not sure where I'm at to be completely honest other than I know I'm a lot better than when I started.

1st Cold Approach after reading just a few GC articles (it was an almost accidental approach basically pulled off a group social interaction at school) lead to 1 gym date then make out then one more date (where we just hungout in my car), then back to her place and waited for her mom to go to bed then fucked her.

I'd say I did probably 300-400 approaches (maybe more, I'm not really sure exactly what I counted as "an approach"), not to many dates from Daygame, some leading and better interactions from Nightgame, one full escalation plus pull at a house party with a super fucking hot blonde that unfortunately ended up as an "FU" when I moved her upstairs and we started hooking up (because her bitchy friends busted down the door). Mostly still number closing on daygame and nightgame approaches. Oh and I made out and kind of felt up a hot blonde MILF at a bar I was at for my buddies 21st (there's probably other stuff I'm not thinking of).

1 lay from Okcupid (LR which I wrote up here).

Mhmmm, tons and tons of numbers that mostly went nowhere haha, I'd say 150+ (because I include online numbers I pull as well), fair amount of dates (a lot, can't remember how many), with a few make outs and escalations that didn't lead to sex.

Got a 2nd date tomorrow I'm really excited about though, did everything GC style and it went really well, nearly pulled but she stopped me and I couldn't overcome; hopefully that changes tomorrow night :).

I'm taking 2 weeks off though, sometimes I feel like I know everything there is to know and other times I feel like I'm confused as fuck. Not really sure if this helps.
 

Bete Noire

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
123
Thanks to the both of you for the replies! Its time to start going out infield, no excuses! PrettyDecent that 28th month period sounds soooo gucci :) Writing the interaction down is definately something i'll start doing - i had a 'failed to escalat3' and was wayyy too embarrassed about putting it up on here as she was in my bed :p Track runner your 400+ approaches in 2 months sounds so good :D
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,032
Started somewhere around October/November ish of 2013. Maybe even December... can't remember.

My first real sticking point was accepting that women were something that I wanted. Approached and just tried to talk to people for the first few months but had great difficulty in asking people out. Luckily for me though, I had plenty of pain to propel me forward out of this. I was seriously just pissed off, and that's the only reason I got started.

Then in May of 2014 the stars aligned and I had my first kiss, and the next night lost my virginity through sheer willpower and persistence. Basically got lucky that the girl wanted to be pursued hard and she was from out of town. There was no smoothness, honestly should not have ever had sex with her, but somehow the girl basically just decided fuck it he's funny and cute. Long story there about why, but I'll take it nonetheless.


I've had lots of mini-sticking points since then, but the next major one is twofold that I'm in right now:
1) Everything is getting too mechanical and the girls can tell, so they bail on me
2) I've never had a real relationship with a girl and that's what I want now

So I guess you could combine those two into this: I want to feel excited about this again and trying to figure out how to keep a girl that I want around.

Gotten better at keeping girls around, though still end up falling short after a few months. Most of the time she just doesn't interest me enough for a real relationship and everything starts to become more mechanical and she bails. Or, as has happened twice now, I really wanted the girl and became too needy and emotional and so she bails.


My plan for getting over this: try to work on my social life and find girls that get me excited more often than once a year that I can see myself with for longer than a month. I'm doing tons of new stuff now that make me happy, so now it doesn't really even matter. And I think that is the most important thing. Also plan on moving sometime later this year to a bigger area, and so much warmer next to the sea *stars in eyes*. Maybe I'll find my adventurous nerd somewhere there or somewhere else. Don't know....

I'm also working on self-control for when I go to Barnes and Nobles and other libraries I can remain open to finding women. In the past I end up not looking for women and spending 2-300 dollars on books instead.... I just can't help it.... the books... they call to me so sweetly....


Lastly, I consider myself somewhere in the intermediate range. Like, if Chase and them were levels 8-10 and most guys are level 1-2; then that'd put me somewhere around the 4-6 range. Able to pickup new women when I need to, so I have an abundance mentality when it comes to sex. But sadly I don't have an absolute abundance mentality as of yet for women that excite me.




*EDIT* as for advice on how to get over the sticking points that I've encountered:

What's propelled me forward the most is just the fact that I'm not too stuck on doing things a certain way. I'm willing to try a whole bunch of new things at least a few times before deciding that it is or isn't for me. That's what's gotten me so far in such a short amount of time and the best advice for learning anything.

Next, accept that you're going to be in pain. A lot of pain throughout your journey until you get to where you want to be. It's okay to get angry and use that anger to push forward. I'll freely admit that I've cried quite a bit on my journey.

Accept that women aren't the way you've been told throughout your entire life. Nobody does the logical thing when it comes to relationships and dating.


The best advice that I could ever give anyone though, is that learning seduction is more about learning about yourself and what will make you happy. Take the time to find yourself and connect with what you truly want out of life. It's perfectly fine to go balls deep into learning all of this stuff and just dive into the deep end, but remember to come out and start working on other parts of your life as well.

Because women aren't going to make you happy. They are an amplifier to your life. If your life sucks, then you will find women that make it ten times worse. But if you have an amazing life, then you will find women that will make it ten times better.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
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